17 A no-return state of affairs

‌CHAPTER 17

A no-return state of affairs

5 April 1988 pm in Gautam the Buddha Auditorium

Question 1 BELOVED OSHO,

WHEN YOU INITIATED ME EIGHT YEARS AGO, I HAD MY OWN BUSINESS, A GREAT CAR, A NICE APARTMENT AND ALWAYS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AROUND. I DRESSED MYSELF IN A THREE-PIECE BUSINESS UNIFORM COMPLETE WITH BRIEFCASE.

NOW, I LIVE IN A BAMBOO HUT, DRIVE A RENTED BIKE, DRESS MYSELF IN A NEHRU SHIRT AND STRANGE COTTON PANTS; VERY RARELY DO I ALLOW A WOMAN TO COME CLOSE ANYMORE.

AM I ON THE RIGHT TRACK TO ENLIGHTENMENT?

(THE GENERAL HILARITY IN RESPONSE TO THIS POOR FELLOW’S PLIGHT HAS GROWN TO SUCH PROPORTIONS THAT VIMAL – WHO IS BACK AGAIN! – PAUSES TO LET IT SUBSIDE. IT DOESN’T, AND OSHO PICKS UP HIS CLIPBOARD – THE SIGNAL THAT HE IS GOING TO BEGIN.)

Prem Bhairava, Vimal has forgotten to read your whole question. He himself is in such a trouble that he does not know where to go and what to do.

Again he has done the same thing: now poor Maneesha has a cold! He goes on changing his tactics. Now for two or three days he will be at ease, happy.

He forgot to read the whole question. Underneath the question it says:

P.S. MY BRIEFCASE CHANGED INTO A BACKPACK.

P.P.S. DON’T TAKE THIS QUESTION TOO SERIOUSLY!

But this question, Bhairava, I have been keeping for a few days. I always wait, because everything goes on changing; things may take a different shape within a few days. And they have taken. Now you cannot say to me, “Don’t take this question too seriously!” because today I have received another question from you. I knew it was going to come.

So I will read the second question also, and then we will talk seriously about your situation. It is critical.

First, you remind me of a poor Jew. He is walking down the street when he sees a rich funeral procession go by. Black Rolls Royces, lots of flowers, women in fur coats and a gold-handled oak coffin. He shakes his head and says, “Now, that is what I call living!”

And your question that has come to me today... without it, it would have been absolutely wrong for me to answer your first question. By coincidence, I somehow managed the right time. Today’s question is:

BELOVED OSHO,

I AM SO ANGRY, READY TO KILL MY GIRL-ENEMY...

Just in the first question he was saying he does not allow any woman to come close by! And within just two or three days he has made a girl-enemy. Not only that, situations have grown to such extremes that he is so angry he wants to kill the girl-enemy!

SHE BROKE OFF OUR RELATIONSHIP...

In three days! You managed very quickly; you did not even wait for my answer. You were going to become enlightened and you got caught into a relationship. Not only you got caught into a relationship...

SHE BROKE OFF OUR RELATIONSHIP AND STOLE MY MONEY.

From where have you got that money? You were living in a bamboo hut, using a rented bicycle, your suitcase had changed into a backpack... certainly you must have stolen somebody’s money. And perhaps that’s why you were afraid of women, because you cannot always keep an eye on your backpack – sometime the woman is going to look into it.

Perhaps it was her money and she was in search of you. One thing is certain, it was not your money, because you don’t mention it in the first question at all.

And now she has stolen your money,

... AND IS PLAYING THE DEVOTEE.

LAST WEEK I FELT SO BLESSED TO BE HERE, AND NOW I ONLY FEEL ANGER AND HATRED ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES AND ABOUT MY EX-GIRLFRIEND.

I WAS BITTEN BY A STRAY DOG, AND CUT MY FINGER BADLY. I FEEL LOTS OF TEARS COMING UP, I CAN’T HANDLE IT ANYMORE.

I AM AFRAID OF BEING A PHONY SANNYASIN, A DANGEROUS LION IN A SHEEPSKIN. AND I LOVE YOU!

Now Bhairava, your question is so complicated... and the last thing is that you still love me. I also want to bring tears to my eyes, that my lover – in such a great economic depression, broken relationship with a woman – has lost all his money. He was already going towards enlightenment on a rented bicycle, and all this happened and everything changed. He wants to kill himself, to kill the girl and perhaps deeply he wants to kill me! Because unless you want to kill me, you don’t love.

Love is really the beginning of a dangerous relationship in which some accident is going to happen. Either you kill yourself or you kill the other, but some murder, some massacre is ahead.

And this love is such a thing that you don’t even need my permission. You don’t even ask me – without even asking me, “Can I love you? Can I be also an enemy to you?” When you had enough money, you never said, “I love you.” When the money is also gone and you cannot even rent a bicycle and enlightenment seems to be so far away... so now you have decided to love me!

And you are in an absolute delusion because you say, “I am afraid of being a phony sannyasin.” Are you American? If you are American, you cannot be anything other than a phony sannyasin. A phony sannyasin simply means a sannyasin with a telephone. It is nothing to be worried about.

I know about people who have only phones, without any connections – just to show that they are doing great business. I used to have a friend... one day I saw that he was phoning somebody, I stopped my car, I entered into his shop and he was talking; he was saying, “No, right now it will not be possible for me to come. I am waiting for somebody.”

I said, “Great! From where did you get the telephone?” And just behind me came the man from the telephone company and he said, “I have come to connect the telephone.”

I said, “To whom were you talking? The telephone is not connected yet – just without a connection you were pretending, to convince me that you have a telephone.”

There is nothing wrong in being a phony sannyasin. That means you have a telephone. But I am worried that in a bamboo hut... is the telephone connected or have you just got it from some junkie? There are junkie people around – there are markets where junk is available and you can get telephones. And I am worried – what were you doing with the telephone? With a rented bicycle... who was going to telephone you?

And then you say, “It seems I am a dangerous lion in a sheepskin.” Both things cannot be together: either you can be a lion... you can be hiding yourself in a sheepskin, but it has never been heard

of. Just vice versa has always been heard, that sheep hide behind a lion’s skin. But they are not dangerous. You are doing a great, stupid, but unique thing: a lion hiding behind a sheepskin! It has never been heard of down the corridors of history.

And still you think you are dangerous – then why the sheepskin? Are you afraid? Certainly you must be, because a stray dog bites you and you cannot do anything. Even a sheep would have done something – and you are a dangerous lion!

And lions don’t have fingers to cut. They don’t use fingers for cutting; for cutting, they use teeth. Are you a toothless lion, ancient and old?

You are in such a mess...

Obviously you cannot handle it anymore. That’s why you have started loving me. Now I have to handle it.

Don’t be worried, I will find some girl-enemy for you. How many girl-enemies do you want? One dozen will do? because here we think in dozens. It is a wholesale market, it is not a little shop.

But you don’t have money, you have only a rented bamboo hut, and now you cannot even rent a bicycle. What will you do with a woman? And just a few days before, I have told you, “Drop this idea of ‘girlfriend’.” Still you did not listen, and now when the money is gone, understanding has come. Now you don’t call it girlfriend, now you have started calling it girl-enemy.

In fact, you must be aware that the girl must have loved your backpack, not you, so when she found time she stole the money. In a way, she has helped you. Now you will have to walk to enlightenment – a good exercise, fresh air, and nobody to phone you nor anybody for you to phone. No need even to pay the rent of a bamboo hut. You are now totally free.

This is what is called freedom: nowhere to go... and without money, no woman is going to look at you. This is real blessedness! But you...

You are saying, “Last week I felt so blessed.” Because of the girl-enemy! And now she has taken the money and gone her way towards somebody else who has a real phone connection, and at least a second-hand old car. Who is going to bother with you? There seems to be no reason. Now you can be absolutely blessed. No woman will disturb you.

It is the strange mind of man, that most are worried that they are not becoming enlightened because of the woman – she goes on creating trouble and they cannot become enlightened. Now the woman has gone with the money. Now there is nothing to worry and fear: you can keep your bamboo hut’s door open, day and night, whether you are there or not. You are certainly one of the freest men in the world. Just a little walking, that is all, and you will be enlightened.

And now you know that it is not so easy to tell me, “Don’t take this question too seriously!” It was good when the money was in the bag, but now I have to take it seriously.

In fact, your life is a beautiful progression towards enlightenment; step by step you are going in the right direction.

You say, “BELOVED OSHO, WHEN YOU INITIATED ME EIGHT YEARS AGO, I HAD MY OWN BUSINESS, A GREAT CAR, A NICE APARTMENT AND ALWAYS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

AROUND.” This is what all the awakened ones have called the bondage, the samsar. You were too much in the mud; then by and by everything disappeared. That’s why the awakened people have called this world a dream. Now – no apartment, no beautiful great car, no business.…

You say, “I DRESSED MYSELF IN A THREE-PIECE BUSINESS UNIFORM COMPLETE WITH BRIEFCASE. NOW I LIVE IN A BAMBOO HUT.” Great! God is merciful! “I DRIVE A RENTED

BIKE...” The only problem is whether you can pay the rent or not. The money is gone – how long is the rented bike going to be with you? These rented bikes are like rented women, there is no difference. Most probably, the woman must have taken the rented bike also. She has left you absolutely in a state of renunciation.

That’s what all the great saints have been teaching, but you don’t listen – “Disown the world and the worldly things because these are the barriers; otherwise you are enlightened.” Now you have nothing to lose. You can be enlightened!

Enlightenment is not happening to people because they are worried: if they become enlightened, what about the phone? If they become enlightened, what about the apartment? If they become enlightened, what about the woman around? Their enlightenment will disperse everything. So they go on postponing enlightenment.

Bhairava, now you don’t have to postpone for a single moment.

You say, “I dress myself in a Nehru shirt and strange cotton pants.” That is the only barrier it seems. Somebody has to steal your cotton pants and Nehru shirt; only then will you learn the lesson that this world is not worth living. Then you will think that except enlightenment nothing else is left.

Because enlightenment need not to be purchased, and you cannot get it on rent. It needs no money. It does not matter where you live, in a bamboo hut or in a marble palace. It does not matter whether you are a well-dressed man or just looking a beggar, Nehru shirt and cotton pants. Only these two things have remained. Either somebody will help and take them away... mostly, beware of women.

But it seems you don’t want me to take your question seriously.

You say, “Very rarely...” Three days before you have written something else: “Very rarely do I allow a woman to come close anymore.”

Have you remembered from your childhood Aesop’s fable? A fox is trying to catch ripe grapes, hanging above his head – but his reach is not high enough; he jumps again and again and falls back. Just a few inches above are such juicy grapes... he looks all around to see: “Is there anybody looking?” Seeing that nobody is looking he tries one time more, but again falls back. And at that moment, from a small bush, a rabbit asks him, “Uncle, what is the matter?” Now with great anger he says, “What is the matter? The grapes are not ripe yet.”

You say, “I do not allow a woman to come close anymore.” In your situation, with a rented bike, living in a bamboo hut, cotton pants... I don’t think any woman will even try to pass through that side. But

you are enjoying the feeling that “I don’t allow.” As if you can prevent any woman! You are waiting eagerly, sitting by the side of your phone: “If some ripe grape comes by itself, without bothering whether in my bag there is money or not...”

But women are very intuitive. They may not have great intellects, but as far as intuition is concerned they can see the man and count the notes, how much is in his pocket. I don’t think any woman will come by herself close to you. You don’t be worried about it.

As far as your question, “Am I on the right track to enlightenment?” In fact, there is no other way. You have to be enlightened, all other ways are closed. That phone is useless, the bike has to be given back... and I suspect whether those pants are yours.

You just renounce the world. Now there is nothing except enlightenment left for you. There is no need to ask whether you are on the right track – you are absolutely on the right track, from the very beginning: losing the business, the great car, the nice apartment, beautiful women, great clothes... This world has come to an end. Now take the jump and declare your enlightenment. Even if there is nobody, take up the phone – although it is disconnected – and declare that “I am enlightened.” It does not matter whether anybody listens or not.

And you need not even declare – you simply understand that you are enlightened. In fact, even when you were otherwise, you were always enlightened. Just because you were too much concerned about the woman, about the money, about the car and about the apartment and about the dress, you could not remember your enlightenment. Now there is nothing left: sit silently and enjoy. Enjoy that there is no hindrance left.

Even if by chance some hindrance comes by... because here not only you have a rented bike; a few women also have rented bikes. And they go on wheeling around, finding some proper victim. And you are certainly a proper victim.

If you have saved your Nehru shirt, some woman is going to come. It is better you renounce that shirt. And when you don’t have anything, standing naked inside your bamboo hut – not outside; in Poona, they don’t allow outside enlightenment. Inside enlightenment!

You are in such a good condition:

NOTHING IS LEFT, EXCEPT MY LOVE.

I will not prevent you. You can love me and you can become enlightened. My love will not come as a barrier. In fact, my love will give a good push so that you can jump into the eternal, never to come back again.

That’s what enlightenment is:

Searching a place from where you can jump into eternity never to return again. That’s why you never find Gautam Buddha, Mahavira, Jesus, Zarathustra... otherwise in every place you would have found enlightened people moving. Once they have jumped – jumped forever. It is an abysmal, eternal, no-return state of affairs.

So don’t cling to your Nehru shirt and the cotton pants. Just for these two things, don’t lose your enlightenment!

Life has been very compassionate to you. You can give your cotton pants and Nehru shirt to Vimal. He will need them – for a few days more, before he becomes enlightened. He is on the right track too.

Somebody told me just on the way that “Vimal is trying to ask some woman for clothes, so he can appear like a woman.” Because I don’t look very much at who is speaking. He has been very much worried – this Maneesha has been a torture to him, and she goes on again and again. Either this side or that side – the period comes, the migraine comes, now the cold, and nobody knows what else is in the future. And the whole responsibility goes on poor Vimal. Just give your pants and Nehru shirt to him and tell him, “Dear fellow, use it – I am going.” You are on the right track; he will follow you.

Bhairava, you are a real sannyasin. Life has made you a real sannyasin. Whatever you had saved in your bag, that too, life has taken away. Life comes in many forms, in many ways – particularly as a woman. Because if life comes as a man, you will clutch your bag tightly in your hand: a man is coming. If a woman comes and says, “Darling” – finished, your bag is gone.

And in this place, in my world of people, nobody believes in individual property. Whoever can manage to take it, takes it. Here exists communism in the proper form. I receive letters every day, that “Somebody has taken away my coat. Somebody has taken away my blanket and is not returning it, and he says ‘I feel more cold than you feel.’” This is a strange logic, but I think it is very relevant. The blanket should belong to the one who feels too cold. It doesn’t matter that you have paid for it. Here, nobody at all is concerned about private property.

That’s why we don’t discuss about communism; it exists already. It does not exist in the Soviet Union, it exists here!

You can see people wearing somebody’s clothes... now Niskriya is sitting in front of me, wearing the Chinaman’s shirt. Now the Chinaman’s cap is gone, and the Chinaman is sitting by his side without his cap. His cap must be traveling around – that cap I have seen on many people’s heads. In fact, finally it reached to me! I said, “Pass it on.” I don’t know how it reached Niskriya but it has come to me too. It is only one cap, and somebody must be wearing it – or maybe it is traveling.

Everybody is happy here, enjoying everybody else’s property. You can live your whole life joyfully, without doing a thing: just keep your hands in somebody else’s pockets. You can look at me! I don’t have pockets at all, for the simple reason so that nobody unnecessarily becomes interested in my pockets. I have only hands – you can have pockets! And just for two hands, so many pockets.…

This is true communism. So you can take the final step, Bhairava. There is no reason to wait. Just before you take the jump, let me finish the prayer today.

When Herman the male gorilla dies, the zookeeper tries to find a new partner for Griselda, the female gorilla. Griselda’s mating season is almost finished and the zookeeper is very worried about finding a suitable replacement.

Walking home that evening he sees Luigi, an Italian construction worker, without his shirt on. Luigi’s body is covered with hair. “How would you like to make an easy thousand dollars?” asks the zookeeper.

“Who do you want-a killed?” asks Luigi suspiciously.

“No one, no one,” explains the zookeeper, “you just have to make love with a gorilla in the zoo.”

Luigi hesitates but then he decides to go to the zoo to be introduced to Griselda. “Okay,” says Luigi, “I do it on three conditions.”

“Great,” says the zookeeper. “Name them.” “One,” says Luigi: “I only do-a once.” “Fine,” agrees the zookeeper.

“Two,” says Luigi: “I no kiss-a her.” “No problem,” says the zookeeper.

“And three,” says Luigi: “If there are kids, they must-a be brought up Catholic.”

Kowalski stops his convertible car at the red light, and a motorcycle cop pulls up alongside. The cop looks over and sees that Kowalski’s back seat is full of penguins wearing little sunglasses.

“Okay, wise guy,” says the cop, “take those penguins to the zoo and don’t ever let me catch you trying to pull a stunt like this again. Next time, I will arrest you.”

Frightened by this, Kowalski immediately takes off towards the zoo. Later that evening, the same policeman notices Kowalski driving along in his car and sure enough, the back seat is full of penguins. Only this time, the penguins are all wearing little black bow ties.

“Okay, buddy,” snarls the cop after he has stopped the car, “what is the big idea? I told you to take these penguins to the zoo or I would arrest you.”

“But officer,” gasps Kowalski, “we went to the zoo.” “Well,” snaps the cop, “so?”

Kowalski explains, “So tonight we are going to the theatre.”

Mabel, the young office girl, is walking along the beach in despair. She is flat-chested and gets really upset watching all the other big-breasted girls attracting all the handsome men on the beach.

As she walks along, her foot kicks a small glass bottle lying in the sand. She picks it up and pulls out the cork. There is a flash of light and out pops a genie.

“Who are you?” gasps a frightened Mabel.

“I am the genie of the glass bottle,” replies the apparition, “and for your kindness in releasing me, I will grant you any wish!”

“That’s great!” shouts Mabel. “I would like the two biggest boobs in the world!” The genie waves his hand, and Poof!

There stand Ronald Reagan and Pope the Polack.

Before our let-go, two minutes have to be given to total silence, as if everybody is frozen. No movement...

Just gather your energy within yourself... Now relax – let go.

Okay, Vimal?

Yes, Osho.

< Previous | Contents | Next >