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‌CHAPTER 11

11 February 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Prem means love and adarsha means the first-day moon. Literally the word means that which cannot be seen but yet is. The first-day moon cannot be seen. From the second day you can see it a little; by the third day it is very clearly seen; on the fifteenth day it is perfect. On the first day it is there but almost like a potentiality – not yet actual... just being born, just coming out of the womb. Love is exactly like that. In man, love is the first-day moon. It has not yet become actual; it is still potential, not active.

These are the three stages of love: potentia, actus and habitus. Potentia means ready to be born, almost mature enough to be born. The pregnancy is nine months old – any moment the child can come but still has not come. There is no inevitability that it will come, it may not come. If it is not helped it may remain there; it may remain there and you may die.

And that is the misery of human life: that love remains ‘en potentia’, in a seed form... never blooms. When love blooms there is contentment... when love blooms there is god. God is nothing but the feeling of a bloomed love.

When you have loved really, you start feeling the presence of god. Jesus says ‘God is love’ and I say ‘Love is god’. God is secondary – love is primary.

If you forget about god nothing is lost, but if you forget about love, love is lost and god too. If you forget god and simply move into love totally, nothing is lost – you will attain to love. One day when love blooms you will start feeling the presence of god.

You may not call it god – that doesn’t matter; names don’t matter. The word ‘god’ is not god. You may call it some other name or you may not name it at all, you may remain silent about it. You may think that to use a word for such a vital experience is insulting, only silence can be really respectful.

So the first stage of love is potentia. The second stage of love is actus: when love becomes an actuality. But it comes and goes. Sometimes it is very much actual – very alive and throbbing in your heart – and then sometimes it disappears. It is still a mood... comes and goes.

It has started coming to you but it comes like a breeze. At the most it becomes a relationship but it is not yet a state of your being. It is not there twenty-four hours like breathing. It is a visitor, a guest, but the host is still not in the state of Love.

When the third state happens – which I call habitus – love has become your state. You abide in love then... that is your home. Wherever you go and whatsoever you do, you remain in love; whether with the friend or with the foe, you remain in love. Whether somebody hurts you, appreciates you, insults you, it doesn’t matter, you remain in love... because you are love !

In the first state love is just a hope. In the second state it comes like a breeze and passes. It gives beautiful moments but then great depression too. In the first state there are no peaks but there are no abysses either. That’s why many people decide not to make it actual – because it is dangerous. When you start moving in love you come to peaks, but then you fall also. The higher the peak, the deeper the abyss.

Only lovers know what depression is. If a person has not loved, he does not know what depression is, what despair is, what frustration is. Only lovers know – because they have tasted something which can become a criterion. They can judge that there are moments so high... only lovers know the high moments, but then they have to suffer the low moments.

So many people, clever people, decide not to move from the first state. They may make a sexual relationship but they don’t move into love... they don’t allow love to grow. With love is danger and with love one moves into a very hazardous, adventurous life. In love one touches peaks of heaven and abysses of hell – both become simultaneously available.

In the third state – when love has become your abode – you are eternally high. In fact to call it high is no more meaningful, because the low has disappeared... you are simply there; then there is no fall.

So through your name I am giving you a message to work out. Right now your love is ‘en potentia’; help it to be born. Risk! Move into the second stage. Let the moon grow, and don’t be afraid... drop all fear.

Fear cripples love. Hate is not exactly the opposite of love: fear is the opposite. You can hate a person and yet love him. You can love a person and yet hate him, but you cannot love a person if there is fear; that is impossible.

So let it grow. And it can grow, just your co-operation is needed. You can cooperate, that’s what I was watching. That’s why I wanted you to be in an uncontrolled state for a single moment. The moment you became uncontrolled a deep surrender happened inside. Some day you will understand what happened. Your head bowed down – that was the first thing that happened in uncontrol... nothing else happened; your ego just disappeared for a moment.

So control is your ego, and there is nothing like love to teach uncontrol. Love is the natural state of uncontrol. One cannot control love, love controls one. One cannot possess love, love possesses one... one becomes possessed.

Will it be easy to pronounce? – ‘prem adarsha’. Adarsha means that which cannot be seen, but yet is.

[The new sannyasin said that the ‘hell’ group it shook a lot of things around inside.]

Very good. That’s the first thing you need: a great shock, so it goes and shatters many things and uproots you. Man is not a tree – man is a bird. He needs no roots – he needs wings.

In the eastern scriptures it is repeated so many times that man is a tree upside-down. His roots are in the sky, not in the earth. His branches are on the earth but his roots are in the sky.

That is a beautiful metaphor – that’s how man is. Man touches the earth but is not rooted there. So the moment you become too rooted, you lose humanity. Humanity remains only when you are liquid and you don’t have any roots. It is difficult because we have always been taught to live with the past, tradition, scriptures, morality, society. They give roots, patterns, character. They give roots – all false, but still they appear as if one is secure and safe and well-rooted.

My whole effort here is to shake you utterly so that you come to know that all roots are false, and that in fact you need not have any roots – or even if you need have any roots, your roots have to grow into the sky.

The earth is very limited. A person rooted in the earth is a materialist; a person rooted in the sky is a spiritualist. To be rooted in the sky simply means to have wings – nothing else, because there cannot be any other roots. And then there is great freedom... and with freedom comes benediction.…

Deva means divine, god, and sadhya means the goal – god is the goal. That will be the meaning of your name: god is the goal... and god is the goal. Never be satisfied before that goal is achieved. Nothing less Than that can be of any fulfillment. Everything else one day or other proves to be futile.

So one has to go on and on. Never be satisfied with small things... never be satisfied with trivia. And all that is available in the world is trivia. Money, power, prestige, fame, name – all is trivia.

Just remember always that god has to be achieved. Once this becomes an intense desire, god is not far away. So when I say that god is the goal, I don’t mean that god is far away. God is very close by... just by the corner. Just an intense, passionate desire is needed... a great thirst. The greater the thirst, the closer god is.

When the thirst is total, god is within you.

When the thirst is total, god is within you. When you are absolutely aflame with the desire to achieve him, you have already achieved. And there is no other way to achieve – just to be intensely, passionately, in love with the ultimate.

Prem means love and samya means balance, equilibrium, silence, equanimity – many things, but basically balance, equilibrium. And love is love only when it brings balance. If it does not bring balance it is something else. If it does not bring coolness, peace, it is something else. Then lust has been mistaken for love. Lust brings imbalance, anxiety, excitement. Love brings tranquility, silence, equilibrium.

So that is the criterion to know whether it is love or not – whatsoever brings a state of balance is good, is wholesome.

So love – but with this remembrance, then by and by you will see that your love is changing into prayer. If you can keep alert and remember continuously that love is love only when it brings balance to your inner being, by and by through balance it will become prayer.

Love is the door to god – love is the door to the animal also. If it becomes lust, excitement, passion, one starts falling backwards. If it becomes tranquility, coolness, silence, one starts rising upwards.

Love is the ladder... the ladder between hell and heaven. It is the same ladder: you can go through it to the very lowest point of life and you can go through it to the highest peak of life – but it is love all this time. At the lowest rung also it is love – too much contaminated by passion – at the highest rung it is again love, but purified by prayer.

... Much is going to happen! And you are not to do – it is going to happen; simply allow. Just delight in my presence, just feel me as much as you can and enjoy my family here.

You are part of this family. Enjoy these orange people. Become part of them... fall into harmony with them. And do whatsoever you feel like doing – dancing, meditation, whatsoever you feel like. There is no need to force – just enjoy, and things will start happening.…

[A married couple ask about their relationship – the man is attracted to other women. Osho suggests he do the tantra group. The wife is upset, and cannot understand her husband’s feelings.]

In fact, if you love a person understanding is not needed. When the love disappears, then the question arises – the question arises of how to understand. When you love, you understand. Love is understanding, and there is no other understanding. If you love, you accept – there is no other acceptance. The moment love disappears or is not as it was before, the problem arises of how to accept.

Once the problem arises there is no way to solve it directly, because the problem has nothing to do with [you]. Your problem has something to do with you – his problem has something to do with him. But ordinarily we project: you think he is the problem and he thinks you are the problem. Then there is no way to get out of it... because the other is never a problem.

I will give you a few groups – after those groups clarity will come; you will see things in better perspective – and then we will discuss it, mm? It is a delicate thing, because once we discuss, things will start settling. So just wait, give it a little time... and there is no hurry. But something has to be done – he is disturbed, you are disturbed; something has to be done.

If two persons cannot live happily, there is no need to live together, because we are together just to be happy, so the whole purpose is lost. If we cannot be happy together, there is no need to be together. If we want to be together, we have to be happy and there should never be any compromise about it – never – because all compromises are dangerous.

If you start living with some sort of unhappy relationship and you live in it long enough, you become habituated to it. Then you start clinging to the misery of it. Even if you separate you will again find somebody who will create the same type of misery. Only then will you love that person, otherwise you will not love, because now the person has become less important and the misery of the relationship has become more important.

So never live in a miserable state too long – do something! Either change the misery or drop out of it.

You are not here to fulfil anybody else’s expectations and neither is anybody else here to fulfill your expectations. We are free, unique beings. If things go well, be together, be happily. It is beautiful to share but it is very ugly to create misery and to be in misery.

To me the only sin is to allow misery in life. Happiness is virtue, unhappiness is sin. So whatsoever you do, if you are happy doing it, to me you are religious, you are a moral person. And I am saying whatsoever – and I mean it! If you are happy doing it, good – it is good. But if you are unhappy, I will say that whatsoever you are doing, something is wrong – either change it or get out of it.

But wait, mm?

My feeling is that things will become good, and you will be together and happy – nothing to be worried about, mm? Good!

[At a previous darshan ( January 24th, see The Buddha Disease) Osho had told a sannyasin that his was the path of love and he should completely drown himself in love. Tonight the sannyasin reports: First I felt very open and loving... and then I went right down. Since then I’ve felt very dull or I felt like I had dreamt all that I feel I pretend a lot – I pretend to be loving. And I felt that my ability to love is just dependent on myself being loved by others.

Osho suggested that he do the tantra group, and then said.]

And all this time – from tomorrow – be as miserable as you can be. Pretend to be sad and dull, unloving, non-responsive, unrelating, indifferent... but do it really, mm? Don’t be lukewarm – go to the very bottom of it. Continue this up to the twenty-fifth of february, then relax and just watch what comes.

Up to the twenty-fifth of february, for these fifteen days, just remain sad – don’t allow any happiness; don’t indulge into any happiness and joy. Do every meditation and everything, but very seriously.…

It will be difficult! (laughter) If you cannot maintain love, you have to maintain this. But this will give you a glimpse – that both are moods: they come and go. Nothing is a pretension. Right now you are thinking that your showing love and friendship and openness was a Pretension and that your

miserableness was true. That’s why I am giving you these fifteen days – so that you will come to know that this too is pretension.

Suddenly one day you will feel that great love is arising and you have to hold it down. Sometimes it may even erupt in spite of your holding, and then you will see that love is also as true as sadness. Both are moods – true or false.

And once you know that both are moods, neither is true or more true than the other, you are free. Right now you have a misunderstanding – that sadness is true, indifference is true, and love is a pretension. That has to be broken, so do hard work for fifteen days. On the twenty-fifth, break the fast. On the twenty-fifth, you allow whatsoever comes.…

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