CHAPTER 30
31 December 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Darpana means a mirror. Thinking is a barrier: mirroring is the way. To think is to miss: to reflect is to get. Truth has not to be invented but only discovered. And the veil is not on truth; it is on our mirror. Truth is utterly naked, it is not covered. So when I say ‘It has to be discovered’ I mean that we have to open up to it. Once the veil of thinking is removed from the mind, the mind becomes a mirror, it reflects that which is. And that which is, is god.
Lalito means beautiful, graceful. Beauty is divine; in all its forms beauty expresses god. Wherever beauty is, god is. And the deeper one starts feeling the beautiful, the more prayerful one becomes because the very experience of beauty awakes something in the deepest core of your being, stirs it. The heart starts dancing, and the dance of the heart is prayer. That stirring at the deepest core of your being is prayer. Beauty provokes prayer. Beauty provokes love beauty provokes respect. Beauty provokes the transcendental. It creates gratitude. It is the most sublime quality in existence.
Think of god more as beauty than as truth, because truth is a logical concept, beauty is more of the heart. Truth smells of syllogism, has a heady ring about it: beauty is utterly of the feelings, of sensitivity. Truth seems to be a dry word with no juice in it: beauty is something alive. Whenever you think of beauty you think of a dewdrop slipping off the grass leaf or a rose flower or a child giggling or the stars or the ocean or the sky. Whenever you think of beauty you are bound to to think of something existential and whenever you think of truth it seems to be only a concept in the head. It represents nothing, it looks empty.
Beauty is the very soul of god and that beauty is the meaning of lalito. It is not ordinary beauty but the divine that permeates existence. Feel it! Dance with it and sing with it and it will take you to the ultimate. It can become the boat to the other shore.
Veet means beyond, gyanam means the known – beyond the known. God is always the unknown. The known is a barrier to him. The known has to cease for the unknown to be. Knowledge has to be
sacrificed, only then does wisdom descend. Wisdom is not a continuation of knowledge but the end of it. the death of knowledge is the birth of wisdom. Knowledge is borrowed: wisdom is your own.
Knowledge consists of the known: wisdom is the door to the unknown, to the mysterious. and the mystery is such that it can never be reduced to the known. Even those who have known god cannot reduce him to knowledge. Even after you have known him, he remains unknown; in fact he becomes more unknown than ever. The mystery deepens, it does not disappear...
To go beyond the known is meditation, to allow the unknown to enter you is meditation, dropping knowledge is meditation, becoming utterly empty of knowledge is meditation. And whenever you can create the space which is empty of thoughts, immediately, like lightning, one is transformed, transported to another world, and then one is on the earth but not of it.
Dipam means a light, a lamp. Be a lamp unto yourself. those are the last words of Gautama the Buddha but they contain the whole message of all the masters. Listen, learn, watch, but always remember that each decision is your responsibility. Never shirk any responsibility. It is easier and more comfortable to throw the responsibility on others, but it is very costly, because in throwing the responsibility on others you are throwing opportunities for integration, for individuation.
‘Be a light unto yourself’ does not mean egoism, because when the light is there, there is no ego ever found. ‘Be a light unto yourself’ does not mean that you have to close yourself to existence and that you are not to learn from anywhere else. Learn from each and everything: from trees, from birds, animals, rivers, mountains. Learn from everywhere, keep yourself open to all the dimensions of life. Let existence pour its wisdom into you, from every nook and corner. But the final decision has to be yours; never allow anybody else to decide for you.
The people who want to decide for you are not your real friends. The real friends are those who will give their whole heart to you, who will make everything available to you, whatsoever they have known and learned, but who will also insist that you decide on your own. They will not help you to lean upon them.
In fact sometimes real friends look very hard because when you wanted to lean too much they simply denied you. When you wanted to just follow them, they didn’t help; they wanted you to be on your own. But finally one comes to know that those were the people who really loved you. They gave all that they could but they never took away your basic right to decide, to choose, to be.
That is the message in this simple word ‘dipam’: be a light unto yourself.
Veet means beyond, darshana means that which can be seen. God cannot be seen because god is the seer in you. He can never become an object. He is your subjectivity; he is the one who sees. So those who want to see god are bound to fail. God cannot be seen because he is not there outside you, he is your interiority. In your looking at me, he is looking at me. In my looking at you, he is looking at you. He is always the seer, and the seer cannot be reduced to the seen.
Once this is understood then the whole effort of search undergoes a great change, it starts moving in a different direction. Then you don’t go on searching for god somewhere outside yourself: you start closing your eyes and entering in.
Once this is understood, that god is your subjectivity, then all that is needed is that all objects have to be dropped from the mind. when there is no object, no content, no thought, then the pure subjectivity reveals itself. It is self-luminous and self-evident. It needs no other light to reveal it, it needs no other proof to prove it: it is your very being. Seeking and searching for god somewhere else is utterly stupid because you will never find him anywhere. He is in the seeker himself; he is never the sought but the seeker.
The Western religions have never risen above the idea of god as an object. they have always remained clinging to the idea of god as somewhere there. But in the East religions have taken the ultimate leap: god is not there, but here; not out, but in. God is your consciousness, so to know consciousness is to know god. and the only thing that hinders you is too many thoughts running inside you. They don’t allow you to see consciousness. They keep you occupied with them.
It is like the sky is full of clouds and you cannot see the sky. when the clouds have disappeared the sky is there in all its beauty, in all its grandeur, silence, that inner sky is god.
Keemiyo means alchemy, the science of changing the earthly into the divine, changing the baser metal into gold. It is the greatest science because it transforms dust into the divine. And that’s what sannyas is: a new reincarnation of alchemy.
Man is not what he appears. He is that and far more, and that far more remains invisible unless you start groping for it. It is within your reach, but you have to consciously search and seek. It is not far away; it is your birthright, but it is given only when you make all the possible efforts to get it. It is a paradox: it is natural and yet it has to be earned.
Prem means love, sangit means music. Love is the music of the soul; that’s why love is so nourishing, so moving, and that’s why music also is so moving and so nourishing. They have something in common: music is the harmony of sound and silence; love is the harmony of male energy and the female energy. The male energy is sound, the female energy is silence; and whenever the male and female meet inside you great music arises.
Each man and each woman is carrying two polarities. Each man is also a woman and each woman is also a man; no man is just a man and no woman is just a woman. Half of you comes from your father and half from your mother; both the energies are there. But ordinarily they are in conflict, in friction, hence the misery of life.
We go on repressing one. We have been taught that the man has not to allow anything that is feminine so he goes on repressing all that is feminine in him. and the woman has been taught not to have anything manly; that is ugly, gross. She has to be utterly feminine. so both have become repressive of one part of their being. That part is an essential part, and whenever any essential part is neglected, denied expression, harmony is disturbed. to disturb the inner harmony is to lose contact with god, because only a harmonious being can be in contact with god.
This is the secret of the inner alchemy, that all that you are has to be used, nothing has to be rejected, nothing at all ever has to be rejected. Even if sometimes something looks dangerous, destructive, even then it has not to be rejected, because when you come to know the whole, you will be surprised that the destructive and dangerous thing has its own place in it. and when the whole
is known, you know that without it, the whole world would have missed something very significant, would never have been whole. In the context of the whole, nothing is destructive, all is creative. In the context of the whole, nothing is dangerous, all is simply nourishing; but only in the context of the whole.
Nobody has been allowed to live a holy life, everybody is forced to live a partial life; that’s from where the whole destructiveness arises. And the part that is denied slowly slowly becomes a thief, it becomes sly, cunning; it has to, just to survive. It becomes tricky, treacherous, and it starts playing games with you. It starts coming in new forms, in vicarious ways. It overwhelms your unconscious and manipulates you from there.
Our lives become ugly because basically we have accepted a split. Man has to become a full, perfect circle; and that is the meaning of inner music. this is great art. One is not born with that art, one has to learn it. That’s the function and purpose of sannyas: to teach you the inner science of becoming whole.
Accept everything that you find in yourself and don’t hide anything from yourself. At least in front of yourself be utterly naked and nude; know who you are in your totality, with no judgement, no condemnation, no evaluation. And you will be surprised: once your hidden parts start surfacing you will see so much energy released and so much joy released. You could not have ever imagined it, ever dreamt of it. Once a person has allowed his totality, his inner well, his spring, starts flowing. and then we are connected with the infinite ocean; inexhaustible is our energy and tremendous is our power.
Madhu means sweetness and devi means goddess – goddess of sweetness. Great respect is needed towards oneself, and that is the message in the name, think of yourself as a god or a goddess, because whatsoever you think, you become. The potential is infinite, so whatsoever you think becomes the actual.
And sweetness represents love: love is sweetness. So be as respectful towards yourself as one is respectful towards a god, and be as sweet to existence, to people, as possible, to the optimum; because the more you are loving and sweet, the more you are sharing of your being, the more you will get from the existence. that is the law: give and you will get a thousandfold; be miserly and even that which you have will disappear. That’s what Jesus means when he says ‘Those who have, more will be given to them, and those who don’t have, even that which they have will be taken away.’
Life is a process. The moment you make it a stagnant pool, you start dying; then you don’t have anything. Then you simply become emptier and emptier, and it is a very negative kind of emptiness. Go on flowing, sharing, giving, for no other reason than the sheer joy of giving, and more and more will be coming to you from unknown sources. The more you give, the more you get, and the more you have, the more you become capable of getting.
Respect, great respect, is needed towards oneself. In all the ancient cultures all the names were names of god, for a simple reason: that everybody had to be reminded that they were a god or a goddess. Never think less than that. and it is not an ego-trip either, because not only are you a god or goddess; everybody is the same.
[A sannyas couple asked about an experience where they had fought and expressed their anger, and then afterwards felt much calmer and more centred.]
Never be afraid of the new. If one has to be afraid, be afraid of the old and the repetition of the old... but never be afraid of the new. God is always with the new. The old is already dead.
I can understand: it is scary, because we are accustomed to living in the warmth of the known, the safety of the familiar and whenever you move into something new, you don’t know what is going to happen, what will happen to your shelter and your security and safety; but that’s how life is. Once you have tasted the beauty of the new, slowly slowly, fear will disappear. You will always be thrilled whenever something new knocks on your doors.
It has been good, because unless anger is expressed, love also remains repressed. If you cannot express the negative, in the same proportion the positive will also be repressed. This is a fundamental law of inner processes, that they always balance each other. If you go so far in the positive then you will go so far in the negative; if you can go deep into the negative, you will be able to go deep into the positive. They always balance; they are like two wings, continuously balancing.
Once you have understood that anger is not anti-love but in fact is part of the rhythm it is not disruptive of love; on the contrary it enhances love, strengthens love, makes your love seasoned, stronger than ever. The more challenges your love faces, the more centered it becomes, the more certain and confident, the less fear exists between the lovers.
The second thing that you felt is also significant. That happens: if you can go totally into your anger, immediately the other will become silent. It is only the non-total that is creating confusion in people’s lives.
Whenever one is totally angry, the other has to balance it; that is a natural phenomenon. The other will go very deep in calmness, quietness, coolness. and when the other is angry you will simply move into calmness and coolness. and when one is calm and cool, the other cannot remain long in anger; the other starts understanding what is happening. After the anger, great love will arise. It follows in the wake like silence after a storm.
Once you have understood the rhythm then there is no fear. You are not afraid of the other being angry, you are not afraid of your being angry. You know your love is strong enough to bear all these situations. Only poor love is afraid. when love is rich, has great roots, it is unafraid; it can simply enjoy the great wind and the rain and the lightning. It is all thrilling and adventurous.
Once you have seen that one automatically becomes silent – and that is the beauty of going totally into any emotion – then you have learned something great. The other will be able to understand your anger, and his understanding will make you more understanding of your anger. and anger understood is anger transformed: the same anger becomes love, compassion.
Go into it and don’t be afraid. there are peaks and peaks, peaks beyond peaks, and it is always new. If love remains a growing phenomenon it always brings you to new territory, new lands, never known before. the moment you stop, wherever you draw a boundary and you say ‘This is enough, beyond this we will not go’, love starts dying. Love can only live if it is riverlike.
Allow it. This is really beautiful. Go into it as deeply as possible, and whatsoever it brings will be good and beneficial; and I say whatsoever, unconditionally.
[Prembodhi – love, enlightenment] Enlightenment can happen either through love or through meditation; there are two doors to enlightenment. Meditation means being alone, utterly alone, and love means being totally with someone, so totally that the two-ness disappears and one-ness arises. And these are the two ways. Fifty percent attain through meditation and fifty percent through love; that is a balance.
Prembodhi means enlightenment through love, through relating.
So teach the child as much love as possible. Be loving without being possessive. Be loving without trying to mould the character of the child. Be loving but don’t give your knowledge to the child. Be loving but help the child to be independent, free.