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‌CHAPTER 5

5 May 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Anand means bliss, suman means a flower – a blissful flower. And remember that man is also a tree and has roots. They are invisible but they are there. We are as much rooted as any tree. Certainly our earth is different – our earth is our past, the whole past of humanity is our earth; it is there we are rooted. But if a tree remains just the roots it is meaningless. The tree cannot be without roots, that is true. The tree will die without the roots, that’s true. But if a tree is just the roots then it is meaningless, then there is no purpose. The tree has to flower, the tree has to become fruitful – then there is meaning, then there is joy.

Our earth is our past, our future is our sky. We are rooted in the past but we will flower in the future... all flowering is in the future. The present is just a passage from the past to the future. So you can think of it as the roots being in the past, the tree in the present and the flowering in the future. This is our whole life. But one has to remember to flower, otherwise roots and branches and leaves and the tree are all meaningless. That’s why the modern man is feeling very very meaningless – because he has stopped flowering, he has forgotten how to flower... he has lost that knack, that art, that skill.

Sannyas is nothing but a training for flowering... making you more mindful of how you can flower, making you more alert and aware of the possibilities, potentialities – that whatsoever you are is not the end, wherever you are is not the limit, that you can still grow. And then there is no end to growth; it is an unending process.

That is our divinity, that’s what god is all about. That evolution continues, it never comes to any end: you reach one peak and another is encountered, another is ready, another challenge calling you forth. You open one door and there is another... you understand one mystery and other mysteries are standing there to be looked into, to be explored and this goes on and on. This excitement is what existence is – this excitement! And to remain excited is to remain growing. The moment a person

loses excitement for life and starts settling and thinks that now he has arrived, he is dead! The day you arrive you are dead.

One is always arriving but one never arrives. It is always just by the corner, it is always within grasp, but it can never be grabbed. And it is good that it is so... it goes on receding and calling you forth. Because of its receding, hidden potentialities become actual. One never knows how many things one is carrying within, how much is yet potential; one never knows unless it becomes actual – there is no other way to know it.

If you have never danced, how can you think that you can dance? If you have never heard about dance, you have never seen anybody dance, you will not even dream about it – but the potentiality is there. If you see a dancer one day, suddenly you recognise that this can be done by you too. You have the same body; maybe a little training, a little discipline – that is another matter – but it can happen to you too! If you have never heard anybody singing you will not be able to imagine that you can sing. You will be afraid even to imagine it. But the day you hear a song, suddenly something starts humming in you too, something synchronises – and that’s what the purpose of being with a master is.

Something is there within me. If you become available to it, something will start humming within you too. Something will be reciprocated, something will start vibrating on the same wavelengths, and that will be the beginning of a potentiality becoming actual.

And the beginning is half the journey, because once a thing begins it is not difficult to go on. The first step is the most difficult, and today you are taking the first step so feel fortunate! How long will you be here?

[The new sannyasin asks: Does a thousand-petalled lotus blossom one petal at a time?]

No... all simultaneously. That happening is a sudden happening. It is not gradual, it does not take any time, it has no steps. One moment it is not, another moment it is, and it is total in a single moment: nothing is missing and nothing is lacking. It is absolute and abrupt. It is not that it goes slowly, slowly, step by step; it is a jump, there is no staircase. It is a death and a resurrection.

Your question is meaningful, very meaningful... because whatsoever we know in life is always gradual. Whatsoever we have experienced is always within time and whatsoever is within time is gradual. You are a young man – one day you were a child. It has been a very gradual process; in fact you cannot say when you became a young man. Mm? there is no demarcation, it is such a gradual process – inch by inch. One day you will become old and you will not be able to know on what day it happens; it will be very gradual. Your face goes on changing but you will never recognise that your face has changed unless you look back at old photographs and albums; then suddenly you will recognise you have changed a lot... but when?

Everything has been very gradual. In life everything is gradual; in god everything is abrupt, sudden, because it is a non-temporal thing, it does not take time to happen. It is a revolution, a metanoia.

It is as if a blind man suddenly becomes full of sight, opens his eyes, and the whole existence is there – not that first he sees one tree, then he sees another tree, then the sky, then the people, then

the walls, no. You are sitting with closed eyes, you open your eyes – the whole existence is there, totally!

It is not that slowly, slowly, things start happening and by and by the whole existence comes into appearance. No, suddenly it is all there. It has been there; it is just that you were without eyes, that’s all.

That thousand-petalled lotus is already there in bloom. It has always been in bloom, it has never been otherwise; it is just that you are not looking at it, that’s all. Just a turn of the vision and it is there – all the petals are open, as open as they can be, more is not possible. It is the last word... you cannot improve upon it. Whenever god is, god is total: he cannot be less and he cannot be more. These divisions – less, more – are mind divisions. And for god existence has no time; for god time exists not. It is always eternally present, everything simply is.

For us there is movement because we can see only a small fragment. It is as if you are hiding behind a door and looking from the keyhole, so you cannot see the whole. You move your eyes through the keyhole – one tree appears; when you move that tree is gone, another tree appears. Then you move a little more – that tree is gone, another tree appears. But all those three trees are there together; it is only for you that there is a sequence.

Or think: you are standing under a tree and you are seeing the road – you can see one furlong this way and one furlong that way – and there is nobody on the road, it is empty. Then somebody is sitting on the tree – he can see a bullock cart coming from the left, you cannot see it yet. He can see another bullock cart moving on the other side but you cannot see it any more. It is beyond your vision, your vision has a limitation. He is of course on a higher place, in a tall tree: he can see more.

This bullock cart which is coming is not for you, is in the future for you – it is the future – but for the man in the tree it is present. Soon it will become present for you too, but for him it is already present – he can see it. Then as the bullock moves and goes to the other side, a moment comes when it becomes past, you cannot see it any more, but the man on the tree is still seeing it; it is not past yet.

God is at the highest peak of existence. From that point he can see the beginning and the end together, so nothing is past and nothing is present and nothing is future – all is simply present. That’s the meaning of now, that’s the meaning of eternity. And when you are at the point of that thousand-petalled lotus, you are at the topmost, you are god!

Then all divisions disappear, then all simply is... in one total orgasm, existence exists.… [A sannyasin is leaving. Osho checks her energy.]

Just continue to meditateAnd everything is going well, but you have a certain fear there in the

stomach which does not allow you to go deeper. You have to go into the fear.

Alone, back home, it will be easy. Just close the room, sit this way (she is sitting cross-legged). If it is not too cold and you can sit naked it will be better, or just wearing as loose clothes as possible, but being naked will be very good. Put your hands below the navel – two inches below the navel – press there, and just by pressing it, great fear will arise and your breathing will start becoming chaotic, so

allow it and go into it. You may start feeling a great trembling – no need to resist, cooperate with it. You may feel like rolling on the ground, roll. It may become a process of twenty-five to forty-five minutes, but it will be tremendously beneficial. It may take at least two months to be complete but it will be a primal, and you will reach to a very deep space within yourself. So this – one thing.…

And the second thing: before you go to sleep do this. Just lying down on the bed with closed eyes, imagine a blackbeard, as black as you can imagine. Then visualise on the blackboard, the figure three, three times. First visualise it, wipe it out; again visualise it, wipe it out; again visualise it, wipe it out. Then visualise the figure two, three times; then visualise the figure one, three times; then visualise the figure zero, three times, and by the time you reach to the third zero, you will feel a great silence unlike you have ever felt before – and that silence will increase as your Primal increases.

The day the Primal is complete, you will fall into absolute silence... as if the whole existence has suddenly disappeared, nothing is. That will be a great glimpse. And that is possible now, but first this Primal – so start both together.

The Primal you can do somewhere in the day. It will be good if you do it on an empty stomach; or if you have eaten, then after two, three hours, mm? otherwise vomiting can happen, because you will be pressing the hara centre... just in the beginning. When you feel fear, just press for two minutes and then leave it. Then thing will start happening. Once they start happening you need not worry about pressing it; just the pressure will act as a trigger. In the beginning sit silently and allow, and when you feel the fear coming, press for one or two minutes and then things will start happening. You will be shaken almost if you are a small tree in a storm.So allow that.

Roll down on the ground. If breathing goes chaotic, let it go; if hands start moving.Whatsoever

happens: if you feel like dancing, dance. Allow whatsoever comes – you are not to manage it, you have to allow it. You are possessed.

If too much fear comes and you become afraid and start resisting, just take the locket in your hand and remember me and go into it. It is nothing to be afraid of – it is beneficial. Once that fear disappears you will really start growing.

This is to be done in the day. Don’t do it in the night, mm? because if you do it in the night it can create so much energy that sleep may become difficult. In the night do the simple process while you are going sleep – just lying down on the bed – but remember to complete it, because that process is so silence-giving.It is a simple process and it will not take more than two, three minutes at the

most, but you may fall asleep before you have completed it. Try to complete it, don’t go to sleep – the third zero has to come – and don’t go in a hurry, go slowly, lovingly.

Visualise the figure, see the figure well, then wipe it out, again visualiseso nine times; one, two,

three, but start from three, mm? then two. In the same way there are some layers inside, and by the time you come to the zero, you touch a zero level in you. By the third zero you are almost on the verge of the sleep, of a great sleep and a great silencethen you can go to sleep.

These two thingsand come back whenever you can. Good!

[A sannyasin says her partner wants to go travelling to Greece and Spain, then perhaps up to Paris. She wonders if she will lose what she has gained through meditation and groups. Osho says she will.]

So much is happening that it will be a disturbance, but you asked (earlier, in a letter), so I said ‘Okay, you can go.’ It will be a disturbance – travelling will be a disturbance, it will not be good – but if it is necessary then you can go.

And I don’t see that there is any need to travel. It will be better – if you want to go – to go and be in one place so you can meditate and be silent. Travelling is difficult.…

In India a few religions completely lost track of meditation because of travelling. The jaina monks are not allowed to stay in one place. They originated with one of the greatest meditators, mahavira – one of the greatest meditators of the world. But because of the idea that people staying in one place become attached, he planned for his disciples to move continuously, so they do.

They cannot stay in one place for more than one day. Even if they stay in the same town, they have to change the place – from one corner to the other corner – but they can only stay for three days in one place. So they are constantly on the move. They completely lost track of meditation – they have forgotten why they are sannyasins – because it is difficult to meditate.

By the time you are settling in a place and you are falling in tune with the placeBecause each

place has its own vibe, each place has its own individuality; you have to get in tune with the place. By the time you get in tune with the place you are ready to move, so you are continuously uprooted. It is like a tree being uprooted again and again and being placed in different soil and a different climate. If the tree is dying there is nothing surprising about it – it will die.

And the modern travel is even more of a disturbance, because you can hop from one country to another within hours. The whole climate changes, the whole vibe changes, the whole tradition changes. You are in a totally different climate, and by the time you settle, you are again off.

If you want to go, go, but then be in one place. Find a small place, a silent place, meditate there. Paris is not going to help. Mm? Spain is good – go somewhere there – or Greece is good. Go somewhere, to some island, and be there – that will be good, and then come back, mm ? Good.

[The leader of the vipassana group which is having its darshan tonight, says the group was good but not so interesting as usual because there was only one woman in the group this time]

Vipassana does not need the same number of men and women. It has nothing to do with male- female energy. In fact the presence of a woman is a distraction. It is interesting, an interesting distraction, but it is a distraction.

It is a Buddhist method and was developed for an all-male group and an all-female group. It was not developed for a mixed group. In fact mixed groups were never allowed. Buddha would not allow it. It is his method; he would not allow it. Mm ? it is I who am smuggling methods into other people’s methods (laughter) – he would not allow it.

He was absolutely against that. He was so against it that when for the first time women asked to be initiated, he declined to initiate them into sannyas because he was afraid that if women and men are there, they will become more interested in each other than in buddha himselfand I know it well!

It is natural, nothing is wrong in it, but Buddha was aware that they become interested in each other and then they start falling into couples. Then the whole world starts happening... nirvana is very far away! So I can understand that sometimes it can become very boring – when there are all men or all women it can become very boring – but vipassana is a method of boredom. It has not to be made interesting at all. There are other interesting groups. When people are bored with interesting groups, then they are sent to vipassana, so don’t be worried, mm?

When we have more people, I am going to make two vipassana groups – one for women, one for men – because it is really unfair to Buddha, mm? (laughter) But it is good! Nothing to be worried about.

[A sannyasin, who is leaving, says she feels depressed and self-condemnatory. Osho points out that you can’t change if you condemn yourself. She wonders aloud why she does condemn herself]

That is a way to remain the samethat is a trick of the mind. Rather than understanding, the energy

starts moving into condemnation – and the change comes through understanding, not through condemnation. So the mind is very cunning: the moment you start seeing some fact, the mind jumps upon it and starts condemning it. Now the whole energy becomes condemnation, so understanding is forgotten, put aside, and your energy is moving into condemnation.and condemnation cannot

help.

It can make you depressed, it can make you angry, but depressed and angry, you never change. You remain the same and you move in the same vicious circle again and again.

Understanding is liberating, so when you see a certain fact there is no need to condemn, there is no need to be worried about it. The only need is to look into it deeply and to understand it. If I say something and it hits you – and that’s my whole purpose: that it should hit you somewhere – then you have to look at why it hits and where it hits and what is the problem; you have to look into it.

Looking into it, trying to move around it, looking at it from every angleIf you condemn, you cannot

look, you cannot approach it from all the angles. You have already decided that it is bad; without giving it a chance you have already judged.

Listen to the fact, go into it, contemplate on it, sleep over it, and the more you are able to observe it, the more you will become capable of getting out of it. The ability to understand and the ability to get out of it, are just two names for the same phenomenon.

If I understand a certain thing, I am capable of getting out of it, going beyond it. If I don’t understand a certain thing, I cannot get out of it. So the mind goes on doing that to everybody – it is not only with you.

Immediately you jump and you say, ‘This is wrong, this should not be in me. I am not worthy, my relationship is wrong and this is wrong and that is wrong,’ and you become guilty. Now the whole energy is moving into guilt, and my work here is to make you as unguilty as possible.

So whatsoever you see, don’t take it in a personal way. It has nothing to do with you particularly; it is just the way the mind functions. If there is jealousy, if there is possessiveness, if there is anger, this is how the mind works – everybody’s mind more or less; the differences are only of degrees.

The mind has another mechanism: either it wants to praise or it wants to condemn It is never in the middle Through praise you become special and the ego is fulfilled; through condemnation also you become special. Look at the trick: both ways you become special! [She] is special: either she is a saint, a great saint, or she is the greatest sinner, but in every way the ego is fulfilled. Every way you say one thing – that you are special . The mind does not want to hear that it is just ordinary. The jealousy, this anger, these problems of relationship and being – they are ordinary, everyone is in them. They are as ordinary as hair. Maybe somebody has a few more, somebody has a few less, somebody has black and somebody has red, but that doesn’t matter much – they are ordinary, all problems are ordinary. All sins are ordinary and all virtues are ordinary, but the ego wants to feel special. It either says that you are the greatest or you are the worst.

So just look... these are all ordinary problems. What problems are there, tell me? What problems do you feel? Just name them.

[But now it pains... it pains here (touching her forehead).]

It is paining because you are not trying to understand it – then it pains. You are condemning it; you are saying [to yourself] ‘You should not be depressed. This is not you this is not right for your image, this goes against your image, this becomes a blemish on you, and you are such a beautiful girl! Why are you depressed?’ – rather than understanding why you are depressed.

Depression means that somehow anger is in you in a negative state: depression is a negative state of anger. The very word is meaningful – it says something is being pressed; that is the meaning of depressed. You are pressing something inside, and when anger is pressed too much it becomes sadness. Sadness is a negative way of being angry, the feminine way of being angry.

If you remove the pressure on it, it will become anger. You must have been angry about certain things from your childhood but you have not expressed them, hence the depression. Try to understand it!

And the problem is that depression cannot be solved, because it is not the real problem. The real problem is anger – and you go on condemning depression, so you are fighting with shadows.

First look at why you are depressed... look deep into it and you will find anger. Great anger is in you – maybe towards the mother, towards the father, towards the world, towards yourself, that is not the point. You are very angry inside, and from the very childhood you have tried to be smiling, not to be angry – that is not good. You have been taught and you have learned it well. So on the surface you look happy, on the surface you go on smiling, and all those smiles are false. Deep down you are holding great rage. Now, you cannot express it so you are sitting upon it – that is what depression is; then you feel depressed.

Let it flow, let anger come. Once anger comes up your depression will go. Have you not watched and observed it? – that sometimes after real anger one feels so good, alive?

... Start doing something at home. Mm? do an anger meditation every day... twenty minutes will do. [See ‘hammer on the rock’ for description of the anger meditation.]

After the third day you will enjoy the exercise so much that it will be difficult for you to wait for it. It will give you such great release and you will see that your depression is disappearing. For the first time you will really smile... because with this depression you cannot smile – you pretend.

One cannot live without smiles so one has to pretend, but a pretended smile hurts very much... It does not make you happy; it simply reminds you of how unhappy you are.

But you have become aware of it – it is good: these talks have helped you tremendously! Whenever something hurts, it helps. Man is so ill that whenever something is helpful, it hurts, it touches some wound somewhere. But it has been good.…

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