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‌CHAPTER 18

18 May 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[Osho speaks about the name ‘jamendra’ – one who has conquered himself. Only when one has conquered oneself is bliss possible. Misery is not because of others but is because you are not centred; desires and ambitions have become the master. One needs not to repress them but to make one’s centre so strong that they lose their hold and power]

Once you are a sannyasin things start happening on their own. It is not so much a question of doing – more a question of allowing them to happen. If you simply allow them to happen, they will go on happening. If you simply cooperate – a passive cooperation is enough.…

All that is possible is being obstructed by us, otherwise everybody would grow naturally into god; there is no problem about it. Growth is a natural phenomenon, and everything goes on growing; only man gets stuck because he starts doing things and starts thinking about what to do, what to be. Then the natural flow is obstructed, and he starts moving in different directions.

It is like a river that comes down from the Himalayas and starts thinking about where to go, what to do, how to reach the ocean. The river will go mad! It will never reach the ocean. It simply flows, unworried about the goal. Wherever it can find a lower plane it moves there and one day it reaches the ocean.

Exactly like that, in a deep let-go, is growth. So you are not exactly to do anything. If you can remain alert, available, it will happen... but in the western mind, doing is very important. The western mind has been thinking for two thousand years that nothing can be done without doing – and that notion is basically wrong.

Yes, many things cannot be done without doing: for example, money will not happen on its own accord, and you will not naturally become a president of a country – you will have to do much. But

you can move into meditation naturally, you can paint naturally, you can sing naturally, you can sculpt naturally.

These are not ambitions, and anything that needs ambition for it to exist is going to create tension in your being. That which can happen on its own will never make you tense. It will keep you relaxed, at home, at ease.

So with sannyas you join hands with me. Just don’t escape, that’s all. Continue to be in this let-go, in this surrender, and things are going to happen.

[A sannyasin says he feels fed up with himself, feels no connection between his inner world and the outer one. He used to have many interests but no longer feels in touch with them. This is how any intelligent person will feel, Osho says. Boredom is the price one pays for intelligence. It should not be taken negatively]

This is good, because in understanding this there is a possibility to transcend. If you are not fed up, you can never transcend yourself. Blessed are those who are really fed up because they can transcend. Of course to transcend is a difficult and arduous job; it is not easy. It is like climbing everest – it is a difficult thing – but once you are really fed up, then even in the difficult there is a challenge.

So the first thing: don’t be worried about it – it is good that it is so. And don’t take it negatively – it is part of intelligence, and you are an intelligent man so naturally you are bound to come to this state of boredom.

The second thing.…

When you start being fed up naturally you will start wondering how to go in because you are fed up with the outside, you know all that is outside. I was just reading today a very ancient story of a king – Bhartirhari.

When he became the king, he called all his ministers and told them, ‘This will be my rule and this is my order to you: I want to experience everything once but never twice. So the same food has not to be served to me again, the same woman has not to be brought to me again – everything just once!’

By the end of the year they came and said, ‘No more is possible. All that we could do, we have done. Now we are driving ourselves crazy – we cannot find new things!’

The king said ‘It is okay – I will renounce!’ And he became a sannyasin! He said ‘Now finished! I have tasted everything once, what is the point of tasting it twice? I am not so stupid! Once it is okay – now I know the taste of it – but what is the point of repeating the taste of it?’

I loved the storyit is tremendously beautiful.

This is how any intelligent person will be!

So nothing to be worried about – don’t become serious about it. It is good, it is perfectly okay to feel fed up. People who don’t feel fed up with themselves are in a wrong situation – they are in danger,

they will never change; there is no need for them to change. They will go on revolving in the wheel – they are mechanical people.

This is the first ray of consciousness in you – that you feel fed up.

Who is this one who feels fed up? This awareness is you – and that is the meaning of your name. It means awareness; ‘subodh’ means consciousness. This is the first ray of consciousness. So all the way that you have lived up to now and all the things that you have done up to now are meaningless.

Now, the second thing.… The problem arises: now the outside is almost finished – how to go in? If you start struggling to go in, it will not be in. If you try and make an effort to go in, it will not be in, because whatsoever we do with effort leads outside, takes us outside; anything done by effort moves outward.

To go in means to relax, to let go – there is no other way. When you relax you go in, when you start doing something you go out. Doing means going out, non-doing means going in, that’s why it is arduous. If there were something to do I would have told you ‘Do this and you will be in.’ It is not a question of doing. You will have to learn patience, you will have to learn infinite patience!

And just start sitting. Whenever you have time just sit silently with closed eyes not doing anything! You are fed up with the outside? By and by the dreams of the outside will disappear because there is no need for the dreams to continue.

You will not think of food: if you think of food, then know well you are not fed up. If you think of women, know well, you are not yet fed up. Your dreams will show you whether you are really fed up or if there is still some lingering interest. If it is there, then finish that too; there is no harm in it. If you are really fed up, by and by you will start feeling that the energy is moving inwards on its own accord. You are not doing anything, you are simply sitting there and it is going in, it is falling in.

And through that inwardness your centering will arise. Through that inwardness new interests, new enthusiasm, new style, a new way to live will come. You cannot cultivate it – all that you can cultivate will be just a repetition of the old... maybe a little modified here and there, but it won’t make much difference. So start sitting passively and do more passive meditations.

[A sannyasin says that whenever he looks at Osho or at a picture of him, he sees a lingam, a phallus. He is perturbed and thinks this means he is neurotic, schizophrenic... ]

It is perfectly good, because that linga, that shivalinga, is the figure of the inner aura, of the inner light... so it will happen. And it is very good; it is tremendously valuable. It is the form of the inner light, the inner flame. So you are getting connected with me, and it appears to you because you can see something behind the body, that’s why.

It is not schizophrenic, it is not neurotic – you are attaining to a very clear vision. That’s how the shivalinga was created. It is not shankara’s figure – it is his inner light; it is how his disciples looked at him and how they found that in his inner being there was a form. And that form is the very egg – it is egg-form – it is the very egg out of which everything arises and disappears into.

... There is no need to rationalise, there is no need to think about it. Whenever it is there, look into it and be joined to it, be thrilled by it. And don’t start thinking – thinking will create a distraction.

This is not creating any distraction – this is a great experience – but if you start thinking about it, then whatsoever you think will be wrong. There is no need to think. When you see that figure, just go into it.

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