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‌CHAPTER 30

30 October 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine, svado means taste. God is a taste... a taste on the tongue.

God is not a hypothesis to explain anything; it is something very existential. And the proof of god is not in any argument – it is exactly in tasting it. And the taste is such that even those who have tasted cannot express it. Those who have tasted it have become utterly dumb. Not that they stop speaking – they have spoken a lot, but somehow that which they want to say always remains elusive. They tryBuddha tried to say it continuously for forty years and failed. And not that he didn’t know – he

knew it, but how to express a taste?

The only proof of the pudding is in its taste. If you know it, you know it; if you don’t know it, you don’t know it, and there is no way to communicate from the knower to the non-knower.

Then what is the function of the master? The function of the master is not to deliver you truth but only to provoke your thirst for it, your appetite for it, your hunger for it. Truth cannot be transferred, but the search can be transferred, the seeking can be transferred; an intense passionate desire can be aroused.

Remember one thing – that there is no proof for god and there is no proof against god, and there never will be either for or against. And the whole effort for and against down the centuries has been just utterly futile.

One has to drink something of existence. You have to become available to this mysterious life that surrounds you. You have to be soaked in it, you have to become a sponge, and then suddenly one day it has penetrated you. Like a fragrance it comes, surrounds you, caresses you, and reaches to the very innermost core of your being.

Girisho. It means ‘the goddess of the mountains.’ And think of these things – the snow-capped peaks of the mountains, the sunlit peaks of the mountains, the virgin silence of the mountains, the sound of running water and the song of the winds in the trees. Think of these things because they will remind you of god. Contemplate these things.

One of the greatest problems that man is facing is his own man-made world. Now he is surrounded by his own creations – buildings, roads, technology, all that he has made – and they are of immense value. I am all for them, but they don’t remind him of god; they can’t. On the contrary they remind him only of his own ego, that he is the doer, that he has done all this. And slowly

slowly man is losing contact with nature, and nature is the temple of god.

If you see a painting it reminds you of the painter. If you listen to music it reminds you of the musician.

Nature has to become your meditation. Go to the river, sit by the side of a tree, a rose bush, and be utterly open to nature, available. Slowly slowly a great remembrance starts arising in one’s being. God is not lost, only forgotten, so all that is needed is not a search for god, but a remembrance. From where to get the remembrance? Watch life, growing things, trees.…

The building made of cement and concrete does not grow. It has no life – it is dead from the very beginning. Think of things that grow because god is nothing but the growing principle of existence. God is the evolution in existence, that constant growing. And the most important thing in life is to understand what growth is. The really religious person is one who becomes intrigued with this mysterious phenomenon called growth.

A seed becomes a sprout and it goes on growing. This is the greatest miracle that is happening every day. A woman becomes pregnant and life starts growing. Wherever there is growth, there is life, and wherever there is life there is god; god is another name for life. Whenever you can find time, come closer to nature, have more and more contact with nature and that will become your meditation. And even in imagination it will be of immense help. Falling asleep, think of the mountains, falling asleep be with the mountains. Go on falling into sleep remembering the rivers and the trees and the roses, and soon you will be able to see a change happening in your sleep too: it will become god-full!

To be constantly in contact with nature is the only way to remember god – all other ways are just poor substitutes.

Deva means divine, vinaya means humbleness – divine humbleness. Humbleness is not the opposite of egoism, but that is what it is thought to be. People think that if you repress your ego you will become humble. You will not become humble by repressing the ego. You will have only a veneer of humbleness, but behind that facade the ego will be hiding. And it will have a better defence than ordinary egoism can ever have. It will be more protected; it will be more safe and secure.

Real humbleness is not the opposite of ego because whenever you think of the opposite, one is bound to be trapped in the process of repression. If ego and humbleness are opposites, then drop the ego, repress the ego, let the ego off and you will be humble. That is not so, because it is not the opposite at all. Then what is it?

Humbleness is the absence of ego not the opposite of ego, so you cannot repress the ego and become humble. You have to understand the way of the ego. You have to see how the ego arises. You have to be very very watchful of its subtle mechanism, and the more you become alert to it, the less is it found. One day, when you are really alert to the whole process of the ego, it disappears. Not that you have to drop it; there is nothing found to be dropped. Not that you have to repress it; there is nothing to repress. It is as if you bring light into a room and the darkness disappears. You don’t have to do anything with darkness once the light is there. In exactly the same way awareness functions as light and the darkness of the ego disappears, and then humbleness is found.

The humble person is a very rare phenomenon in the world. And whenever he is there in the world, nobody understands him because he is not humble in the ordinary sense, as the so-called humble people are. He is not arrogant – arrogance and humbleness have both disappeared from his life. He simply lives as a nobody. He becomes incomprehensible. Jesus is incomprehensible. The incomprehensibility is that we cannot categorise him either as an egoist or as humble. Sometimes he looks very humble and sometimes he looks very arrogant; it depends on the situation.

Chasing the money-lenders from the temple he looks very arrogant. Being crucified, praying to god ‘Father, forgive these people because they don’t know what they are doing’ he looks utterly humble. You cannot categorise him. Real humbleness cannot be categorised as humble, because sometimes if the situation demands something the really humble person will rise to it. He has no fixed idea. He is simply not there. He is just a mirror, so whatsoever the situation, he reflects it.

The ordinary so-called humble person is consistent: he is always humble, always humble; whatsoever the situation, irrespective of the situation, he is humble. His humbleness is a characteristic that he has imposed upon himself. And so is his opposite, the arrogant person: whatsoever the situation he is arrogant.

But the really humble person I am talking about lives moment to moment, lives without any ego, without any humbleness either. He simply lives silently, he responds to each moment in purity, in innocence.

That is the meaning of Vinaya.

Prem means love, vishuddha means purity – purity that comes out of love. Love is the process of purification. Love is the fire: if you pass through it, you become pure gold. Those who avoid love never become pure gold. And only pure gold is acceptable to god, because only pure hearts can be offered to him. So this is one of the fundamental decisions for every person to take: whether to go through love – its fire, agony, its joys, its ecstasy – or to avoid it.

It is very comfortable to avoid it... convenient, safe. Then there is no turmoil in life – no ups and no downs; one is simply moving on level ground. Millions of people decide against love. The person who decides against love has decided against himself. He will miss this great opportunity of life. He will never know the heights and depths of life; he will remain mediocre.

The person who chooses love has chosen a hazardous journey. There will be peaks of great joy and there will be dark valleys of tremendous agony, but this is how, between the agony and the ecstasy, one is purified. This is the dialectical process of love. Love is the science of growing up. It brings maturity... it brings flowering and fulfilment. But cowards decide against love.

So whatsoever the cost, decide to move into the world of love... whatsoever the risk. If all is lost in love, nothing is lost, and if all is gained without love, nothing is gained, because it is only through love that one comes to know one’s own being, and not only one’s own being but the very being of existence.

Toshi means contentment and hiro means diamond – diamond of contentment. There is nothing more valuable than contentment. Contentment means the state of no desire. If desire is there that indicates discontentment. When all desiring disappears, when there is no ripple of desire in your consciousness at all, when you are utterly now, utterly here, and this moment is all, that is contentment. You are not asking for anything anymore, you are not begging for anything anymore. In fact, on the contrary you are tremendously grateful for all that is – the stars and the clouds and the mountains and the earth and the people. You are utterly grateful for all that is; that is contentment.

And this is the diamond. Those who have it are rich and those who don’t have it are poor.

Start searching for something that is not momentary – that is the beginning of sannyas. The search for the timeless is the beginning of sannyas. And it is there! If you search for it, it is not very far. In fact it is so close that in reality there is no distance between you and it. k already exists in your innermost core – it has just to be searched for there.

[A sannyasin says:: I have a feeling I’ve begun to understand a bit more about your being a master.]

Right! That is happening. That’s good. It is really difficult because for centuries in the West masters have not existed at all. And even in the past it was a very rare phenomenon in the West. Prophets were there, but that is a totally different thing. Masters have been basically an Eastern contribution to human consciousness.

The prophet is a mixture of religion and politics. The prophet is not really a master but a leader. And rather than working on individual consciousness, he works on the society as a whole. His approach is social, not individual; he wants to change the structure of the society.

The master is not much interested in the society and even if he is interested, he is interested only for the sake of the individual. His interest in the society is indirect; his immediate concern is the individual. He wants to change the consciousness of the disciple.

In the West prophets have been there in the past but not masters. A few people have existed but they were very much misunderstood because there was no climate to understand them. Jesus was a master but he was also understood as a prophet, because people had no idea of what a master was. He was talking about individual revolution and people were thinking he was talking about social revolution. He was talking about the kingdom of god that is within you and people thought he was talking about the kingdom that is outside. People started thinking that he was a potential politician, that he wanted to conquer the world, that he wanted to become the king of the country. He was utterly misunderstood.

He had taken the flavour of being a master from the East to the West. It has always been taken from the East. Pythagoras took it from the East to the Greeks, just as Jesus took it from the East to the Jews, but again and again it got lost there. And for the modern Western mind the thing has

become even more difficult: there are no more prophets even. So when Western seekers come to the East all they can understand is a teacher, not a master. The teacher is one who teaches a certain doctrine. That they can understand, because there are teachers in the West and professors and universities – that can be understood: this is a religious kind of teacher who teaches religion.

But the master is a totally different phenomenon. A master does not teach – he imparts. He has nothing to teach but he has much to give. He pours his love and his being into the disciple, but that can happen only when the disciple is ready to receive.

That’s what you have started feeling. It will grow now. Once it has started happening it goes on happening. Then one becomes more and more aware. Then the relationship changes from the student to the teacher, from the disciple to the master.

The disciple and master are in a love relationship. It is non-utilitarian, it is other-worldly... it is something of the beyond. The teacher and the student are not in a love relationship; it is a utilitarian relationship.

Something beautiful is happening – help it to happen more!

[Another sannyasin says: I’m scared to sit here, I’m scared to not sit here.]

Don’t be worried – I will take care: I will make you more and more scared! (MUCH LAUGHTER) And whatsoever you decide to do, I will keep you scared. It is only by going deep into fear that fear disappears; that’s the only way. If you are afraid of the dark night, go into it. That’s the only way: encounter it. If you are afraid of the cemetery, go to the cemetery in the night and sit there and let all the ghosts torture you! And by the morning you will come home laughing because there are no ghosts – nothing! But if you never go to the cemetery you will never come to know the fact: there is nothing to fear.

Fear is utterly absurd, but people fear. They fear because they don’t go into it. And that’s what has happened: you were alone and you had to face it. When she is there you remain occupied with her and you go on repressing your fear. It has always been there, it is there in everybody’s being, because our whole upbringing is wrong.

We are brought up as afraid human beings. From the very beginning we are conditioned to feel fear. This society knows only one way of teaching children and that is punishment and reward, fear and greed; that is its way. If you are doing things as you are told to do you will be rewarded; if you are not doing things as you are told you will be punished. So from the very beginning your life is continuously surrounded by fear. If you don’t do this you are afraid to be punished; if you don’t do that you are afraid to lose the reward. And finally this whole thing is projected as heaven and hell: hell becomes your fear, and heaven your greed.

So when you come to me I have to destroy all these conditionings. And in destroying it all the traumas, all the old wounds again start oozing pus, but that is the only way to clean them. Once they are in the open, in the sun, they heal.

Don’t be worried! And [your girlfriend’s] love will help you. Now she is getting more and more connected with me, mm? – you will start seeing more and more of me in her, and it will go on

growing; she will be a healing force to you. Just continue to meditate. It will not be a long-standing problem – soon it will disappear.

[Another sannyasin says: How can I stop thinking about enlightenment?]

Become enlightened! Declare that you are enlightened! Finished! I can give you a certificate if you want

Nothing to worry about – it will disappear.

[A sannyasin, who is working on a book project, says:

Somehow there’s a sense of depression that is very deep in me and I get it when I do Kundalini and it’s coming up with the book.]

The first thing is the book.… It always happens: whenever you want to write a book the beginning is the most difficult part, and the next difficult part is the ending; the middle is very easy. And it happens to everybody – to painters, to writers, to poets.

The problem is fundamental; the problem is that life has no beginning and no end, so all beginnings and all ends are arbitrary; you have to invent it. And that creates much chaos inside:‘How to begin? From where to begin?’ And again, when you want to end it, the problem arises ‘Where to end? How to end?’ And it is never really complete, no book is ever complete. All books begin in the middle and end in the middle, because life in itself is always in the middle.

So it happens to all people who want to create something: they go into a turmoil. This depression, ninety percent of it, is just because of that turmoil. And one has to learn a secret: start from anywhere. Don’t be worried too much – start from anywhere. Just write any absurd thing and start. Once it is started things will start flowing. And you can always change the beginning in the end; there is no problem in it. And it is easier to change it in the end. When the book is finished and the beginning looks absurd, now it is easy. The whole book is there – now you know how it should begin. When you begin you don’t know what you are really beginning and what it is going to be and how, and what the end will be. It is all in darkness, and you are groping, and you don’t know where it will end so how to begin it?

It is one of the traditional problems for all creative people... unless they are like me, who can begin from anywhere and end anywhere. I don’t care from where I begin and where I end – anything... a joke will do! Then things are very simple. For me they are very simple. You have to learn it, and once you have learned it you will be surprised; all this depression disappears.

But a part of it is there which has nothing to do with the book. Ninety percent is because of the book; ten percent is there which has nothing to do with the book. And that is in almost everybody because nobody is living life as it should be lived. Nobody is living carefree. Nobody is living in the moment, spontaneously, and everybody is worried about the future...

Even if you go to the West and come back again and go to the West, that is not going to help. That keeps one occupied, that keeps one hoping. When you become tired here you go to the West; when you become tired there you come here. It simply keeps you hoping – the situation remains the same.

My feeling is that if all outlets are dropped completely and all bridges broken, you are left in one place and there is nowhere to go, this turmoil will arise. Because by going and coming you were keeping it away from you – you were occupied.

You could have always hoped; now there seems to be no hope. So this turmoil will arise. But it is good that it arises – it can be encountered and through encountering it can be dropped.

And there is nothing to worry about. Neither the East is going to help nor the West. The whole thing has to happen in you. Use this opportunity when there is nowhere to go. So now this is the place, this is the time and these are the people.

Now put your whole energy into it. And because there is no postponing, much can be done.

In Zen monasteries they have been using it for centuries – all doors are closed; once you enter the monastery all doors are closed. Nowhere to go, nowhere to even think about going to. One feels very depressed in the beginning – utterly depressed; all kinds of sad ideas started surfacing. But when you have nowhere to go what can you do? You have to face and watch them, and watching them, they start disappearing. And once they have disappeared, without doing anything to make them disappear – when they have disappeared on their own – you will feel so light and so free and weightless, that you cannot imagine.

You have carried this weight, so I was happy when I saw that Esalen doors are closed to you. This is really good! This will force you to encounter all that is repressed in you.

So these two situations are together: the beginning of the book, and doors to the West closing. You are simply here and you have to see who you are. I don’t see that this is something unfortunate, no.

So do two things. One: learn to start from anywhere, and once you have learned that knack much creativity will flow. These are the only problems that creators feel; if they are dropped, then there are no problems. Start from anywhere and ninety percent of your depressions will disappear. Once the start has happened and the book starts flowing then you will be perfectly healthy and happy.

And the remaining ten percent which is deep down in you has to be encountered. So don’t hope. Just make it a point that you are to be here, and now you have to see whatsoever you are, and whatsoever is there has to be looked into.

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