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‌CHAPTER 23

23 October 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Sansar means the world, atosha means discontent – discontent with the world... that is the beginning of the search. Those who are contented with the world are unfortunate, they are contented with the trivia; they are simply wasting their opportunity to grow. They are contented with toys. The world consists of all kinds of toys; that is the meaning of the word sansar. Children have their toys; one day they throw those toys away but immediately they start searching for other toys. Young people have their own toys; one day they drop those toys too. Then older people have their toys. But if one looks deep down then one will find from the very childhood to the grave, from the cradle to the grave, that people only go on changing their toys. They find bigger and better toys, finer, more cultivated toys, complex, valuable, but still toys.

To be utterly discontented with all kinds of toys is to be religious. When one is finished with the outside world, when one has seen through and through and has found that there is nothing to be found there, then only does the inward open its doors. It is out of absolute frustration with the world that the inner journey begins. The inner journey begin almost at the point where people commit suicide.

Suicide and sannyas are alternatives. When somebody is completely frustrated with the outside, either he commits suicide or he becomes a sannyasin; he starts moving inwards. The outer he has seen, now he would like to investigate the inner. He has seen that which can be seen; now he would like to see that which cannot be seen. He has seen the objective world, now he would like to see ‘Who is this seer? Who am I?’ He has gone deep into reflections, now he would like to know ‘What is this mirror that reflects? What is this consciousness?’

If a person believes that there is no inner side to humanity, there is no interior, then suicide is the only possibility. That’s what existentialists say – that sooner or later the man of intelligence comes to a point where he has to decide. And the most decisive thing is: ’Why not commit suicide? Why

go on living unnecessarily and go on repeating the same vicious circle, day in, day out, year in, year out, to no purpose?’ That’s what Marcel has said – that the only important metaphysical problem is suicide.

But he is not aware that there have been people who have found an alternative to suicide. But that possibility is there only if the interior is accepted, is trusted. And there is no need to believe in it – it is the most indubitable fact; there is no need to believe in it. You are. There is no way to deny it. You can deny the whole world but you cannot deny yourself. Even to say ‘I am not’ you will have to be; even declaring ‘I am not’ is a declaration of ‘I am.’

This is the only fact – all else may be a belief. So the real seeker starts with the fact, not with a belief; and this is a fact – that you are, consciousness is. Otherwise how will you be deluded; who will be deluded?

The dream proves only one thing – that the dreamer is. The dream may be false but the dreamer cannot be false. How can a false dreamer dream? If he is not, there is no possibility of dreaming.

Sannyas is a turning point and can be of immense value. In fact the only valuable thing that can happen to a person is sannyas. It contains all that religions have been preaching down the ages... it contains the essential religion. The essential religion is simple: it is a quest into ‘Who am I?’ And out of that discontentment with the world, a new existence opens its doors, which gives, brings contentment.

So when one is discontented with the outer a new contentment starts happening. Contentment is possible only in the inner, with the inner, because then you are living in a timeless, deathless eternity where nothing ever changes, where all is as it has always been and will be, where time makes no difference. That stillness, that original source of our being – that, and only that, can bring contentment.

So the journey of the seeker begins with discontent and ends in contentment, utter contentment.

[A new sannyasin says she did latihan for nine years, but stopped it because of the Subud organisation. She has also done yoga for ten years and been involved with Gurdjieff work.]

But you can do it on your own. It is a good process, mm? Don’t let small things disturb you. It is a good process and my feeling is that it will be helpful to you: you can continue latihan. And it is perfectly good to do it alone; there is no need to have a group session. And now I will take care – I will be with you wherever you do it; but it will be perfectly good with your energy.

Only stop a particular meditation when its work is finished. When you see that now nothing more is happening out of it, then drop it; otherwise for no other reasons – not for small reasons – should anything be dropped...

If you do yoga then it will be a disturbance in latihan. I will not suggest you do it, they can’t mix. You forget all about yoga...

No need for Gurdjieff either. You go deeper into latihan, because Gurdjieff work also is different. Gurdjieff work can suit with yoga, but with latihan it won’t suit. Because Gurdjieff work or yoga both

depend on will power; their basis is to use your will to its uttermost. Subud is to drop your will absolutely, to be in a will-lessness, so that god can take possession of you.

So drop Gurdjieff, drop yoga – simply continue with latihan. And latihan will suit with my work absolutely, because surrender is my key too. It will take you farther away than latihan can, but continue latihan. You can choose one of the meditations here – any meditation that you like – and can start doing that too.

The only danger in latihan is that when you start going into deeper surrender, unless you are really devoted to a master you can go mad. A moment of madness comes, because utter surrender means that whatsoever happens, happens; you allow it. You cannot control it, you cannot manipulate it. And before the ultimate change happens in your consciousness, just between the two – the ordinary mind and the cosmic mind.The ordinary mind is a controlled mind – you control it; the ego is in perfect

control. The cosmic mind, the ego, disappears and you are in an uncontrol. Between the two there comes a moment when the ego disappears for the first time. All that the ego has repressed before and controlled erupts; that is madness. It explodes, mm? because the controller is no more there so it comes with a vengeance – all that has been repressed. That is the moment when a master is needed – somebody who gives you a shelter, an anchor. Otherwise you will be thrown by the great waves that will arise in you. You need somebody in whom your trust is absolute.

Those days pass and the deeper the trust, the sooner they pass; it can pass even in a single moment. But that moment comes, and even a single moment is enough to throw one off the track. And once you have become afraid and frightened of it and you fall back to your controlling mind, then things become very complicated. So that moment is the most important moment and a master’s function is to help you in that moment; I will take care.

Go deep in latihan and even if sometimes you feel that something maddening is happening, just remember me; take the locket in your hand and you go into it. It will pass, and once it has passed you will find a new territory, a new plane of being from which the world looks totally different. That moment, that space, is psychedelic. k inebriates, it intoxicates. That is samadhi, the divine rapture. Once tasted, one becomes it.…

Deva means divine, ajijo means friend – a divine friend. This has to become the very centre of your life: overflow with friendliness towards each person – man, woman – animal, bird, tree. The whole existence is full of soul, full of god. It is a very vital existence, life is dancing all around, but one can see this life only when one falls into a deep intimacy with existence. That intimacy I call friendship.

The scientific training has taught human beings to be inimical to nature; that has been one of the most harmful things that has ever happened. Science has taught people that we are to fight with nature, as if nature is there to destroy us; we have to conquer it. That stupid attitude has made man utterly disoriented from nature, cut away; he has lost his roots. And that is the only problem we are facing now.

People are searching for meditation, prayer, new ways of being, but the deeper search and the more basic search is how to get rooted in existence again. Call it meditation, call it prayer, or whatever you will, but the essential thing is how to get rooted in existence again. We have become trees which are uprooted, and nobody else is responsible except us with our own stupid idea of conquering nature. We are part of it; how can the part conquer the whole?

Befriend it, love it, trust it, and slowly slowly in that friendship, in that love, in that trust, intimacy arises; you come closer. Nature comes closer to you and nature starts revealing its secrets. Its ultimate secret is god. It is revealed only to those who are really friends of existence.

Prem means love, satto means being, existence – love being or love existence. Man can live in a loveless world. Millions live there, millions have decided to live without love, because love is risky; it is dangerous. To live without love is safe, secure. To live without love is convenient, comfortable. But although it is convenient, comfortable, Secure, safe, it is dull. It has no jubilation in it. Celebration is not possible in it. It is very lonely, sad. It is almost living without life... it is life without life. It is already living in one’s grave.

So those people who decide to live a life of safety, security, have already decided against life – they have chosen death; and the majority is of that kind of person. Don’t belong to that majority, because only when love is allowed does life start happening. Life enters through the door of love. If the door of love is closed, the door to life is closed. But to live in love means to live in constant insecurity. It is adventurous – dangerous, risky – but full of joy. Each moment is a moment of surprise and new things are always happening. It is a life of poetry, song, dance and music... it is really life. And to miss it is to miss all.

My whole teaching is based on love, in love. Love is god. And sannyas has to become the beginning of a love-life – love in all its dimensions, in all its possibilities. When love calls, risk all and you will not be a loser. When love calls even life has to be risked, and you will not be a loser because those who die in love attain to immortality. To live without love is to be already dead; to die in love is to go beyond death, is to know something of the deathless.

That deathless is called ‘god’ by a few, by a few others ‘tao’, and so on and so forth. Those are just names of the ultimate experience of love.

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