Chapter title: God is also Darkness

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‌Chapter title: God is also Darkness‌

29 November 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 7611295 ShortTitle: WHIP20 Audio:

No Video:

No 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

[A visitor asks which groups he needed to do.]

You book for [three groups] and then I will tell you what else to do. The camp will reveal many things about you -- how your energy is moving and where, and what is needed.

In fact all techniques are good. All techniques are good -- but not for everybody. With some personalities some technique fits, with some personalities the same technique may not work. So once you have found a right track, and once it is exactly known how your energy is moving, things become very simple. Then you can move in a progression, one group after another.

Otherwise sometimes it happens that you can move in a circle, and finally you find you are back in the same place where you have always been, so you have not moved at all. Sometimes you can do groups in such a way that they

contradict each other. That too is dangerous, because one group sets your energy in one direction, another group sets your energy in another direction, and then you are pulled apart, then you have a split.

Many people are suffering because in the western spiritual market everything is available, so whatsoever is available one wants to try it. And when one has tried one, then one wants to try another and another and there is no clear-cut guidance on how one should proceed, step-wise and gradually.

The groups should not be contradictory. They should create a linear progression in you so that you can see something growing, otherwise great confusion can result.

For example, if you are doing some old eastern techniques, which are in a subtle way repressive, and then you do Encounter and cathartic techniques which are expressive, then they move in opposite directions.

Both are good, but for different people. If you don't have any repression, eastern groups can be of tremendous value, but if you have something repressed already, then first it has to be released -- a cathartic group is needed.

So groups are like medicine: all medicines are good, but that doesn't mean that you have to take all medicines. You have to take only that medicine which fits with you, which is for your illness. Otherwise medicine can prove more fatal than the illness itself, because it will be poison. If it has to kill something in you

-- your enemy -- it will. If it has nobody to kill, it will kill you -- it has to kill somebody!

If there are germs to kill, it will kill those germs. If they are not there, it will kill some other germs which are very essential for your life and for your body. So here we are trying to make a scientific approach

-- not in a haphazard way and not in a circular way, and never contradictory.

Sometimes it happens that some group which today is contradictory for you may not be contradictory after a few groups -- you may come to a point from where it fits.

So you do these three groups and the camp. The camp will decide many things. In the camp do all the five meditations, and after the camp you tell me which

meditation you liked the most, which meditation you hated the most, and which meditation went deepest in you -- these three things.

Sometimes it happens it is the same meditation that goes the deepest, that you love most, and that you hate most. Sometimes these are three different meditations -- one never knows. But if you can feel it clear-cutly, then it will be very decisive.

Ordinarily human beings exist in a nebulous state -- like a cloud -- and it is very difficult to see their form. Not that the form cannot be seen -- I can see it right now, I am seeing what form your energy has --

but it is a nebulous form. In a moment it will change. It is just like a cloud: one moment it is like an elephant, another moment the elephant has disappeared. By the time you decide it is an elephant, it is not there -- the form has changed; the form is not fixed.

So ordinarily the human mind is like a nebula, a very clouded state, and by and by with meditations and with a few groups, you will start taking a certain shape -

- a shape which is not just a style but a stability.

And with that you become an individual -- never before it.

Before it you have personality. Personality is a style, individuality is a stability. Personality is just on the surface, like your dress. Stability is something deeper, that persists in you, and by and by that tends to become a crystallised form. And in fact that is what everybody is searching for -- an integration, something integrated, something about which you can say, 'This is what I am!' Right now you cannot say who you are.

But in the four months that you will be here, much can be done. 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

Anand means bliss, and akshara means the eternal -- that which is, was, and will be. And in the eastern search the eternal is true, and the momentary, the temporary, is just an illusion, a dream. That which happens is not true. That which remains, only that is true.

Anand Akshara will mean eternal bliss -- and it is there in you right in this very moment. It is not something that you have to achieve. It is not something that you have to invent, create. It is you! Just a turning, just a leaning back into your own being. That is the exact meaning of the christian word

'conversion' -- to turn in, to turn back, to look into one's own self. Suddenly it is there, and one starts laughing because it has been always there, and it was just foolish to go on looking.

[Another visitor says: I'm studying acupuncture.]

That's very good... very meditative. It will be helpful. And if by and by you start feeling your own energy, or the working of the energy in your own body, acupuncture will not remain just a technique -- it will become an instrument.

And it is an insight. You can learn the technique -- nothing will come out of it. Rather it is more a hunch than an art. That is one of the most difficult things about ancient techniques -- they are not scientific, and if you approach through the scientific outlook you may get some inkling, but the major part will be missing.

And whatsoever you will be able to get hold of will not be much, and it will be frustrating.

The whole ancient approach was totally different -- it was not logical at all; it was more feminine, more intuitive, more illogical.

One was not thinking in syllogism as the scientific mind thinks. Rather one was in a deep participation with existence... more in a sort of dreaming state, in a reverie, and allowing nature to release its secrets and mysteries. It was not an aggression on nature -- a persuasion at the most. And the approach is from the interior.

If you go to study modern medicine, the approach is from the outside. You dissect a dead body -- it is there as an object. You can study it, but you are

studying a dead body -- and a dead is qualitatively different from an alive body. With the alive body, something of tremendous value exists which has left the dead body. A dead body only looks like a body -- it is no more a body, because it embodies nothing. So even to say it is a body is not right. Even linguistically it is wrong, because it embodies nothing.

It is as if the god of the temple has disappeared, and you still go on calling the house a temple -- it is no more a temple. It was a temple only because God was in residence.

And when you cut a body you come to know certain facts which are of the dead body. Even modern medicine is becoming aware of the fact that we will have to find out some way to know more about the living body. But it is easier to approach from the outside. Mm? students can stand around the table and the professor can teach.

Now it is not the same way for acupuncture. One has to approach one's own body from the interior-most core. Those seven hundred points were not known objectively -- they were known in deep meditation. When one goes deep inside and looks from inside -- a tremendous experience -- one can see all the acupuncture points surrounding oneself, as if the night is full of stars. And when you have seen those energy points, then only are you ready. Now you have an inner grasp, and you will be able, just by touching the body of the other person, to feel where the body energy is missing and where it is; where it is moving, where it is not moving; where it is cold and where it is warm; where it is alive and where it has gone dead. There are points from where it responds, and there are points from where it has no response at all.

Meditation can be of tremendous value -- and both are parallel growths. You have chosen something good, but simultaneously you will have to grow. You will be able to know acupuncture only to the extent that you become capable of knowing yourself... and when both coincide there is great light. In that light you can see everything -- not only about yourself -- about others' bodies. A new vision arises as if a third eye has opened.

What about your sannyas? [She replies: I don't know.]

Mm mm! Then you are ready for it (she laughs). One should be adventurous

enough to go into the unknown.… Because there is only one way of knowing, and that is by going into it. There is no other way.

So go into it and see what it is, mm? 1/08/07

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Query:-

... You are holding your energy deep down, so something will have to be done about it. You may not be even aware, mm? but you are controlling. Control is very bad -- but we have been taught to control. So you may not be responsible at all for it. Everybody has been taught to control. Control is thought to be the great value -- it is not. One should be more spontaneous than controlled.

And spontaneity has its own discipline, but it is not control -- it is very flowing. If you remain controlled too much it will be very difficult for you to go inside, because when you control something, the first need is go outside. Just think of it in this way.

If you are controlling air inside -- if you inhale and you control it inside -- then you cannot go in because the whole breathing wants to go out. You will have to control it and you cannot go in. The air wants to go out, so first it has to be released. When you have really exhaled, you are ready for inhalation. Then it goes in naturally, and with that natural in-flow, you can also go in. There is a rhythm, in and out.

So here we have both types of groups -- and I have suggested a few to you. A few groups are such that take you out, and a few groups are such that take you in. You will need both, in a rhythm. You are holding much energy, and that holding can become very heavy -- it can become almost like a rock. There is no trembling... the energy is not vibrating. So much has to be done -- but it will be done. Change to orange --

that will be helpful.

This will be your name: Ma Deva Chandan.

Deva means divine, and chandan means sandalwood. In India the perfume of sandalwood is one of the most respected, revered perfumes -- it is divine. So divine sandalwood perfume -- that will be the name.

And I feel you have a certain affinity with sandalwood -- that's why I am giving you this name. That perfume will help you very much. So you can have sandalwood around you, you can use sandal perfume, sandal oil. You can burn sandal incense and it will take you very far -- it can take you far out! It has been chosen for particular people... and small things are of tremendous value.

Just the other day I was reading.… There is a bridge in London where people used to commit suicide in big numbers. They have changed the colour of the bridge from grey to red, and since they changed the colour, the suicide rate has fallen very low. You see the point of orange people? (Osho chuckles) The colour grey is suicidal -- red is more alive, red is the colour of life. So even colour can be of such importance. They were simply surprised!

They could not figure it out -- that just by changing the colour it happens... but it happens!

Colour enters your eyes, changes you. Mm? just looking at green suddenly you feel peaceful --

something happens inside. It is the same with smell: a certain smell and you start floating into a certain space. And this is my feeling -- that sandal perfume will help you tremendously. It will make you more alive, more throbbing, more vibrating, more pulsating.…

Anand is bliss or blissful, nisheetha means the hour of midnight, the most empty hour. And whenever you can manage, midnight will be your best time for meditation. For people who like emptiness, the midnight hour is the best -- it simply corresponds with nothingness. Just as in the midmorning activity is at its peak -- opposite to it, at midnight activity is as low as possible; inactivity is at its peak. It is the most passive moment. So all people who have been following the path of nothingness -- what Buddhists call shunyata -- their hour for meditation has been the midnight hour. Nisheeth means midnight. Just to remind you, I'm giving you that name, Nisheetha.

And whenever you can manage, never miss. You can just sit in your bed at midnight when everything has become silent, the traffic has stopped and people have fallen asleep. When millions of people fall asleep, their very sleep is a help for a person who is moving into nothingness, because they are no more creating turmoil, they are no more creating vibrations, they are no more creating neurosis all around. All neurotic people are asleep -- all politicians, all mischief-mongers, all are asleep. Mm? they have fallen into oblivion. At that moment the climate, the spiritual climate, is the purest, and one can simply use that space and move into it.

If you can keep awake, get up and go to the terrace -- just look at the stars, sit silently. Just twenty minutes will do, and you will feel so calm and so quiet. If you want to repeat the same experience in the middle of the day it will take at least three hours. It is very easy at midnight. It is almost as if you are moving with the tide, so you don't need to make much effort... you can ride on the tide. And change to orange.

'Sound is the vehicle to move to the other. Become absolutely deaf and dumb -- suddenly you will find 1/08/07

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Query:-

that you are standing within. That is why silence was practised so much -- all the bridges to the other were broken.'

[There follows a description of the 21-day silence and isolation technique. A sannyasin reports on her experience after completing this. She found that she went through several changes; some of the time it was easy, and later more difficult.]

It always changes when you have touched the rock-bottom of misery; only then it changes, never before.

And remember -- it is one of the most fundamental things: if you are sad, become as sad as you can. And when you have come to the last point where you think that it is impossible to bear it, just a little more and then suddenly you will

see the turning point -- you are no more sad; the same energy is becoming joy. If you had stopped then you would have remained hanging in the sadness.

And in silence this always happens -- the beginning few days become very heavy because it is so new.

[The sannyasin says she enjoyed being outside and playing with children during the silence. But at night was afraid of the darkness.]

This has been good. Next time when you go into silence, the whole day also, don't play with children because that is not good. Mm? that is a sort of communication. And if you enjoy hills and trees and animals and birds, then it is no more silence. These trees are people...

Just close the room the whole day... just lie down on the floor, look at the room. For seven days, day, night, no communication with the outside world -- and you will fall in love with darkness.

At first it may become very very difficult, but then the turning point will come. And once you can love darkness you have achieved something valuable, because darkness is more primal than light.

Darkness is more fundamental than light. Light comes and goes; darkness always remains. Light is limited; darkness is unlimited. Light can be created; darkness cannot be created. You can bring light here and there; darkness you cannot touch even, it is so beyond. In the day there is light, the sun is there, the sun comes and disappears, but the darkness continues eternally; it is always there. So light is momentary, darkness is eternal.

There is only one occult school... in which Jesus trained and John the Baptist was trained; the school is called the Essenes... that is the only school in the whole world that defines God as darkness -- and I love it.

Their definition is far better than god as light. You will have to learn to love darkness. With that love many things will grow in you.

With darkness one becomes very silent. In fact darkness is more like silence -- light is more like words.… But fear arises, that's true, because darkness is more like death too.

So next time just take your food... if you want to walk, walk in the room, but close all the windows so you remain in the room absolutely alone -- no book to read, nothing to write on, no tape to listen to --

nothing! Just for seven days, absolute zero. But not now -- sometime later.

The Shadow of the Whip

Chapter #21

Chapter title: Life is Through 'Yes'

30 November 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 7611305 ShortTitle: WHIP21 Audio:

No Video:

No 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

[A sannyasin who was leaving with her father, who had come from Germany to take her home, says: I surrender to anything that is happening ]

That's perfectly good. It is good to surrender to your father.… You can come again. Whenever he allows you, you can come. And if you surrender, he will be allowing you to come. Listen to him, because he cares for you, he loves you -- that's why he has taken so much trouble to come. And don't do it unwillingly,

because sometimes we can even surrender unwillingly, but then we miss the whole opportunity. Surrender willingly, happily, joyfully, then every opportunity becomes golden. And this is how one learns in life.

There is something in rebellion and there is something in surrender too. There are times to say 'no'. Mm?

it gives you a spine, it makes you bold. And eveiy child sometimes wants to say no to the parents -- that is part of growth. But if one goes on saying no continuously, and becomes fixed in the no, then it is dangerous, because then one lives in the negative -- and one cannot live in the negative.

Lile is always in the positive. One can live oniy through the yes.

And if you learn too much of the no -- today you will say no to your father, to your mother, to your family, and if you become addicted with the no... because it is like an addiction -- it has an intoxication in it because it makes you very egoistic. When you say 'No!' you feel you are somebody -- you can say no to anybody. And when you say no to your parents, of course you feel very egoistic. You feel as if you have defeated thern. But then you have said no to love!

Some day you will fall in love with somebody and again the no will come, because it will become associated with love. Parents are not just parents -- they are many more things. They are your first love. If you say no to them, in a subtle way you are saying no to love. You may not be aware of that right now, but one day you will find that you fall in love with somebody and again the same problem arises.

This is my observation -- that every woman when she falls in love with a man, falls in love with her father again, because her idea of man deep down comes from her father. Or when a man falls in Iove with a woman, he falls again in love with his mother, because his idea of woman, his very image, is from his mother. He has learned about woman from the mother. That was the first woman in his life, and the first things are tremendously important -- the impact continues the whole life.

So if you say no -- and I know that sometimes no is needed, but there is a limit to it -- if you say an absolute no, and you break away from your parents, that will be dangerous. Then your love will be disturbed.

[She repleis: But when I say 'yes' to something, I have to say 'no' to the other thing.]

Yes, that I know. So just always remember: life is a deep rhythm between 'yes' and 'no'. One cannot live with only one. So one has to sav both the 'yes' and 'no' many times. It is just like breathing: you breathe in.

then you breathe out: you breathe in. then vou breathe out. If you say, 'I will only breathe in', then you will die. If you say, 'I will only breathe out', then too you will die. And you say, 'Why should I do these contradictory things -- breathing in and breathing out?' They are not contradictory -- they are part of a great rhythm.

When you listen to music, there is beat and then there is rest; beat, rest; beat, rest. If there is only beat, there will be noise; there will be no music. If there is only rest, there will be silence; there will be no music.

Beat and rest -- that makes the music. The whole of life is a continuous balance between no and yes.

And one has to be very alert about what one is saying. Sometimes say 'no' -- I'm not saying to always say 'yes'. If you always say 'yes', you will be dead. Then you don't have any stamina in you, you won't have spine. Many times say 'no', but don't get addicted to 'no'. Sometimes say 'yes' too. And make a balance. Then your parents will also uriderstand.

This was my situation with my parents. They knew well that if I say 'yes', I mean 'yes'; if I say 'no', I mean 'no'. Once my father said to me, 'Do you say "yes" and "no" in a very mathematical way? Because sometimes you suddenly say "yes", and we were not expecting it. And sometimes you say "no", and we were not expecting it. How do you manage when to say "no" and when to say "yes" ?'

I said, 'I keep balance. I never say "no" too much, because that breaks relationship. I never say "yes" too much, because that breaks me. I have to keep you alive, and I have to keep myself alive too, and it is like 1/08/07

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Query:-

tightrope walking.'

When you are leaning too much to the right, lean to the left immediately, otherwise you will fall. And when you start feeling you are falling to the left, lean to the right, otherwise you will fall. Nobody can say when -- you will have to feel it. You will have to go by your own feeling.

So go -- nothing to be worried about. I am coming with you. And say "yes" happily, then next time when you want to come, they will happily send you. Keep this with you (passing her a box) and continue to meditate. Good... And help my work there.

[to the father] Next time come and be here for a few days, few weeks, and it will be good, mm?

[A sannyasin said that he had been a therapist for eight years, but had become very ill and stopped work.

Later he did other manual work. Now he feels he could continue psychotherapy with guidance, but does not have any medical qualifications.]

There is no need, because in fact psychotherapy is still not a science, and there is nothing official about it. All official certificates are bogus, because it is still not a science. Freud simply created a big jewish business, that's all (laughter). But you can work. I can feel that you have that type of energy which a healer needs, and you can become a good therapist.

A little work on yourself will be of tremendous value, because when you are going to help others you have to be in a certain space. Unless you are in a certain space, have a certain depth, your help will remain superficial. And sometimes it happens that even through superficial help you can help many people, because many people are only superficially ill. They don't need much depth work.

And another thing about illness is that if you don't do anything about it, then too, it goes by a certain time. And that's why all schools of psychotherapy succeed -- the Jungian, the Freudian, the Adlerian... and now there are a thousand and one. They all succeed -- and the basic reason of their success is that if you prolong your analytical work for a long period, the patient cures himself.

It is almost like the common cold. They say that if you take medicine, it will go

in seven days; if you don't take medicine, it will go in one week -- but it goes.

People suffer If you can just manage to give them hope, they are going to heal

by themselves. You are just to sit by the couch. That's why so many schools are successful.

In Zen, they found it out centuries ago. When somebody goes mad in Japan, traditionally they will take him to the zen temple. If something is wrong mentally, they will take him to the priest. Each zen temple has a hut far away for such people. They are left there; nothing is done about them. Food is given, care is taken, nobody talks to them. They are simply left to themselvesj alone, and within three or four weeks they are cured. And it is thought that the god of the temple helped. Nobody is helping; nobody is doing anything.

Just time was needed and a hope.

That's why Mesmer helped so many people -- and there was nothing in it. Coue helped many people, and there is nothing -- just auto-suggestion. And even charlatans can help -- not that their help is in any way wrong. They help many people, otherwise they would not be in business. They remain in business.

So one thing: while you are here, do a few groups and you will become ready. A certain space will soon arise in you, a certain meditative state, and out of that state, energy starts flowing. You can help many people -- and a real help, in depth; not just post-poning, and waiting for time to heal them.

It is a hunch... it has nothing to do with knowledge. If you know something about it, good -- it helps a little bit -- but basically it remains a hunch. One should simply be available to the patient. One should be able to feel the patient. One should be able to be sensitive to the patient and have a compassion, and a meditative energy... a loving touch, an understanding about his problem, so that he can reveal his problems.

These are all hunches. And one should not make a formula, because each patient is different. One should simply face the patient and let energy do the work. And it is good it is of tremendous value.

When you help others, you help yourself too. And there is nothing like seeing a person growing healthy, coming back to his natural self. It is beautiful. It is as beautiful as when a gardener sees his trees flowering, and he dances. Humanity

is the supreme-most flowering. So whenever you see somebody has flowered, it is a tremendous joy.

Just close your eyes, and let me feel your energy. Sit and raise both hands this way.

[Osho checks his energy.] 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

The energy is perfectly good; it just needs a little more flow to be more streaming -- it is there. So you will be doing all the groups, and between the groups, whenever you have time, you can do the African dance, or another dance group, or T'ai Chi. So for these four months, continuous work on the energy. You will explode.

Each human being carries such tremendous power, and we simply waste the whole power in problems.

Each problem can become a power, because each problem is really power. If the energy moves in a non-problematic way, then all problems disappear and only energy is left. Problems are like knots -- the energy gets stuck. But there are not many knots either. Your energy is ready -- just a little push, and you will go far. Good!

[A sannyasin asks: I'd like to know what you have to say on epilepsy?

In reply to Osho's questions he says he used to have it very strongly, but it has not been there for three to four years, but his fear remains.]

Then there is no need to be worried. Three years is the limit, mm? Then you are out of it. If you were within three years, there would be a possibility -- but the fear is natural. These things are such that once you have known them, once you haYe tasted them, fear remains. But there is no need now. You can be completely

unafraid. You are unnecessarily carrying a fear now because the time has passed. It will not be coming. You need not worry.

And it is not always bad. In fact all epileptic people can go into meditation very easily... better than others. Sometimes it has happened that deep meditators have been thought by medical people to be epileptic

-- because both phenomena are very close: in both cases, the mind stops functioning. So they have some similarities; they overlap. There are many cures.…

Ramakrishna Paramhansa -- you must have heard the name? Psychologists said he was epileptic. He was not, but his meditation would take such a tum that for hours he would be almost uncon-scious. He was not unconscious -- he was perfectly conscious -- but for those who were standing outside, he was absolutely unconscious. He was very conscious inside -- but inside. The outside completely disappeared as if the bridge of the mind were broken.

Once he remained for six days continuously in that state. And doctors would say that this is an epileptic fit, and very dangerous. But it was not! Nobody had seen such a beautiful person In thousands of years, once in a while, such a beautiful

person is bom. But the scientific mind has its own attitudes.

Exactly the same thing happens in epilepsy. You are suddenly no more in contact with your mind, so you fall unconscious. The same can happen through meditation, but then you are knowingly going into it --

and that makes a lot of difference. It comes by and by, and even when you are out of the mind, you know that you are in control -- but that's the difference only. In epilepsy you are not in control at all.

It happened that one very famous english novelist, Somerset Maugham, came to India and went to see Ramana Maharshi, a great sage. Maugham was a man of rational outlook -- he had gone there just out of curiosity; he had no religious search as such, no spiritual quest. He was staying in the ashram taking his breakfast, and suddenly Ramana himself came. He was going to see Ramana in the place where he used to sit for many years, but Ramana, hearing that Somerset Maugham had come -- somebody told him -- said,

'Okay, I am going to see him!'

He came so suddenly that Somerset Maugham could not believe that Ramana Maharshi himself had come. The shock was so sudden, and the impact was so great that he fell in a swoon... he became unconscious!

Now in the whole ashram Ramana's coming was thought to be a great blessing -- it was rare that he should come to see a guest... and then this happening that Somerset fell in a swoon and became unconscious. So the whole ashram gathered and people started singing and were very joyous; they started dancing.

They thought -- and it was right -- that under Ramana's impact, Maugham had moved into samadhi, into deep meditation. And that's exactly what had happened. But when Somerset Maugham came back he could not believe what was going on. He said, 'This is nothing -- no meditation, nothing. It is just because I was tired and because it is too hot -- that's why I fell into unconsciousness.'

He found this rationalisation: too hot, tired from the journey. And when he wrote an article about his visit, he wrote this: 'People are foolish there! Just out of tiredness and too much heat I had fallen unconscious, and they thought that I had entered some samadhi because of Ramana's blessings or his 1/08/07

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Query:-

presence. This is absurd! And I deny it!'

I know that when he is denying, he is honest -- he is not dishonest. That is his explanation -- because he simply became unconscious so he did not know what happened. And when he came back this is the rationalisation that he made. That looks scientific: tired, long journey, climbing up the mountain, then too much heat, hot sun -- maybe a heat stroke or something. Any explanation would do, but this explanation that Ramana's impact.… The sun's impact is okay, the journey's impact is okay, but the presence of this sage? That is not acceptable: the rational mind cannot accept that.

And Somerset Maugham missed a great opportunity by refusing it. He could have entered into a deeper space. He became so much afraid of it; consciously he

denied it, but then he became afraid. Then he escaped from the ashram -- he wouldn't stay there for long.

When he went to see Ramana to take his leave, he wouldn't enter the room. And again he found a rationalisation -- that he would have to remove his shoes, so he would take leave from the outside. You see the point? (chuckling) So from the window, standing outside the room, he took his leave. I know what fear And

he may still not be aware that the fear is still there -- that he may fall into that unconsciousness, and then it will be too difficult, because now he is neither tired, nor it is hot, and the sun has set. Now the old explanation won't do. But the mind can play tricks. He said, 'Just to remove the shoes -- it is better that I take leave from the outside, and go.'

Don't be worried about it. And whatsoever it was, it has made a passage in you and meditation will use that passage. But drop the fear, mm? Good!

[The Tao group is present at darshan. A group member says: I feel really good. But I just feel my ego growing. I am proud of myself, and the ego says to me, 'Make a lot of effort and fight, and you will attain by yourself. Don't expect anything from other people.' And I have this problem with you. The ego says to me,

'He doesn't know you. How can he help you ?' So the ego is growing.]

Mm mm. Let it grow. Go on pumping (laughter), then it will burst. It is like a balloon: the bigger it is, the easier it is to burst. So go on, just go on puffing it. And tell it that it is perfectly right. Let it become bigger, bigger, and one day you will suddenly see that it has burst. Mm? that is the only way to get rid of it.

Let it be big!

A small ego is very difficult to get rid of, because it is so small it can hide anywhere. A small ego can pretend to be humble, and then it is very difficult to detect it. A big ego cannot pretend and it cannot hide anywhere -- it is so big. So, very good! Don't be worried about it. Go on helping it and enjoy it. Let there be a little flirtation -- nothing wrong in it. One day it is going to burst. And it will burst only when it is too big

-- not before it. It is very easy then on its own accord it falls and disappears. Then humbleness arises -- and that has a totally different flavour. It is not a

humbleness that you have practised. It has simply arisen because there is no ego any more.

So nothing to be worried about. Just go on doing groups and making effort and meditating, and tell your ego that there is no need for any help from anybody's side and that you will do it on your own, and go on, mm? Any day, when it has come to a bursting point you will see it bursting -- and that will be a great experience. Don't try to get rid of it right now -- you cannot. Let it be ripe.

This is one of the very basic problems to be faced. In the East people are not so egoistic. Surrender seems to be very easy -- but meaningless because people don't have anything to surrender. In the West people are more egoistic. Surrender seems to be very difficult, but then surrender is meaningful becawe it is very difficult; they have something to surrender.

And in a right education, in a right culture, this will be the balance: first we will teach every child to be as egoistic as possible and then we will teach him how to allow this ego to burst on its own accord so he can become humble. Then humbleness is a happening. And when the ego is ripe, and falls from the tree on its own, there is beauty, grace, benediction.

So nothing wrong in it. You can go on fighting with me. Let that game be there -

- no need to be worried.

But you are trapped! This ego is going to be destroyed, mm? Good! Very good! 1/08/07

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The Shadow of the Whip

Chapter #22

Chapter title: All I Represent is Love

1 December 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 7612015 ShortTitle: WHIP22 Audio:

No Video:

Orange is symbolic -- symbolic of death because it represents fire. In India we burn the dead body.

Actually in the old days, in the traditional days, when sannyas was given to somebody he was put down on the funeral pyre. The master would stand by the side, and other disciples would say good-bye to him. The fire would be lit, and then he would be taken away from the pyre and be given a new name and the orange dress -- to indicate that he has passed through death... that the old is gone.

Orange is also symbolic of blood, of birth, so the new is born, the new baby is born in blood.

Orange is symbolic of death and birth, of crucifixion and resurrection.

So change to orange, and start looking at yourself in an absolutely new way, as you have never looked.

This moment becomes a new beginning. Start from ABC... as if you are again a child and again learning the ways of life.

And much is going to happen -- I can see you ready for many things.… [A sannyasin brings his mother to take sannyas]

Deva means divine, and kanksha means desire; desire for the divine, desire for god. And I can see that the desire is there. It is still a seed, but it will sprout soon.

In fact it is not that you have come to see [your son] -- that desire has brought you here; that is just an excuse. Right? I have caught you!

[A sannyasin who has returned says: I couldn't get it together financially and I fell in two. Now I don't know how long I can stay. I would like to stay a longer period. I'm really frightened of going back.]

No, I will put you together -- don't be worried. If you want to stay, you will stay. So forget that, mm?

And I will put you together. Nobody ever falls apart really. One simply feels... it is just an idea -- because basically you cannot fall apart. Every being is such a unity that there is no way to fall apart.

Many times we imagine that we are falling apart, but we never fall apart. Even people who are schizophrenic, split, in madhouses -- even they are not fallen apart. They have just taken the idea, a fancy, and the whole society helps them to keep the fancy. Maybe there is some politics in it, maybe the family wants them to remain mad, the society wants them to remain mad. Maybe they are scapegoats and the society, wants to throw its own garbage on them, but in fact they are not.

In a madhouse they tried one experiment. They made it clear that unless every inmate came and stood in a queue before the mess, nobody would get food. For just two days they waited, and by the third day all the mad people were standing in the queue -- and just one day before, two days before they wouldn't listen to anything! Then they made another thing: they fixed switches on the wall. There were one hundred and twenty mad people. and they said that they all had to push the switches together -- one hundred and twenty people -- only then the doors of the mess would open, otherwise they would remain hungry. They managed

-- one hundred and twenty people, and mad -- they managed to push the button together! And the people 1/08/07

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who were experimenting were simply surprised. They were thinking that these people were mad!

One of the greatest seers of India, Ramana Maharshi, never used to be very kind to mad people. One of his biographers, Chadwick, writes: 'I was very much surprised that he is such a great saint and he has no compassion for mad people.' Whenever he would raise the question, Ramana Maharshi would simply laugh, and drop the subject and never discuss it.

One day Chadwick persisted. He said, 'I want a clear-cut answer. Why don't you have any compassion for mad people?' Ramana said, 'I have never come across any mad people -- they are all playing!' Just see what he says -- 'They are all playing the game.' They have chosen to be mad! Nobody is mad, because nobody can be mad.

In the West many more people are going mad -- every year many more -- because madness is now an accepted thing; almost a way, a style of life, for many people. In the East so many people never go mad.

In my home town there was one mad person. In fact, in every village there is one. It seems he is needed

-- maybe like an outlet, a safety valve. The whole town remains sane, and he becomes the leakage for insanity. Children would run after him, throw stones, and he would throw stones, and it was such a scene whenever he passed.

I continuously watched him. I never tortured him. I had some deep feeling for the madman. And sometimes I would go and sit by his side -- he used to live under a tree. By and by he became aware of this fact that I had never tortured him as every child of the town, every boy, even grown up people, did. So he one day asked me, 'Why don't you torture me? Why don't you throw stones? Don't you think I am mad?' I said, 'I have never thought that you were mad.'

He laughed, and he said, 'Come close to me. I will tell you a secret -- I am not! But don't tell it to anybody. This is my way of living. This is how I get my food, my clothing. This is an agreement between me and the village -- that I will play the role of a madman. It's okay, and things are going very well!'

[The sannyasin answers: But at the same time I feel better than ever.]

Mm, You are better! I have put you together. Start meditating, dancing, and forget all about it!

[A sannyasin says: I'm feeling very happy... Sometimes I can't take it.]

Yes, it can become unbearable too. Only pain is not unbearable -- pleasure, happiness, can become unbearable.

So whenever you cannot take it in, dance, sing... go a little berserk. Express it... cry, let the tears come.

Then you will be able to hold it. Whenever it is too much, let it flow... share it.

[The sannyasin continued that she found she felt happier outside the ashram and that she was in love with an indian sadhu.]

Mm. Love is good. Whomsoever you are in love with, it is good. Love is good! It is irrelevant with whom you are in love. If you love, you love me, so simply love! Mm? don't create any conflict.

This is the mind that comes again and again in between. It says, 'Why, what are you doing? If you fall in love with this man, you will be going away from Osho!' If you are going towards love, you are coming closer to me. If you are not coming closer to love, you may be here just sitting in front of me and you are far away, far, far away. You are on some other planet, not on this one -- because all that I represent is love.

My whole effort is to make you more loving. Remember -- if you love, you love me.

And if you are happy, you are in my ashram, mm? Good!

[A sannyasin says: I wrote to you about having a fever when doing meditation. I feel a lot has happened to me.]

You are feeling very weightless, light? -- that's good. Sometimes meditations can bring fever, but if fever is brought by meditation, then after the fever you will feel very very light, almost as if you can fly.

Mm? because then that fever was something psychological that has left you. It was nothing to do with your body. It was something feverish inside you that exploded.

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Sometimes meditation brings a few things: it can bring fever, it can bring headaches, stomach disturbances, it can bring diarrhoea. And they are all tremendously helpful -- but one comes to know only when they are gone, not before it. Meditation is a cleansing process and whatsoever is stuck in your system has to be thrown out. But this has been very good.

[Osho checks her energy.]

You are in a state of levitation... very good. In this state, sometimes if you sit and meditate, you may feel you have risen above the earth. Not actually -- not that the body rises above the earth -- but your subtle, your energy body, rises above the earth. If you open your eyes, you will find yourself sitting on the earth. If you close your eyes, you will find that you are almost two or three feet above the earth.

There are two laws: one is of gravitation -- science knows about it. The other law, levitation, science still has to discover. But Yoga has always known it, and it has to be so, because each law can exist only with a contrary law -- no law can exist alone. If birth exists then death exists. If day exists then night exists.

If man exists then woman exists. If love exists then hate exists. Each law has to function with its opposite which is also complementary to it.

So science has discovered gravitation -- that things, material things, fall towards the earth. Yoga says there is a law of levitation -- that spiritual things fall upwards. If they are allowed, they will start moving upwards. It is not just metaphorical that we look upwards for God. It is not just metaphorical that when we pray, we pray towards someone who is there high in the heavens. No, it is an

indication of the law of levitation.

So you are exactly in the ray of the law of levitation -- enjoy it! Mm? this is the moment when one can pray, and can feel prayerful, and can simply be happy for no reason at an. This is the moment that one can dance, really dance and dance with the soul -- not only with the body. The dance can go to your very core, and it will not be just a movement, physical movement; it will be a spiritual experience. So you start praying.

In the night when you go to sleep, just sit in the bed with folded hands looking upwards. Put the light off and in deep darkness, just look upwards. Feel that you can fly, and then anything that comes, anything that you would like to say to God, say it -- anything! Don't make it a formal affair: don't say the christian prayer, or the hindu prayer, or any prayer. If it happens, good... it is beautiful. If it comes spontaneously, that too is good, but let it be spontaneous -- don't prepare for it. You can say anything at this moment: just 'hello' is enough of a prayer, or, 'How are you, God?' is enough prayer.

Have you heard about the three mystics? Tolstoy has written a story, that in Russia before the revolution, there were three famous mystics who used to live on a small island in a big lake. They became so famous that the pope, the highest religious authority of the Russian Orthodox Church, became very much worried

-- the masses were going towards them. So finally he decided to go and see what is happening.

He went by motorboat... landed. Those three poor people -- they were very poor people -- rushed and fell at his feet. He could not believe that these ordinary people had fallen at his feet. He said, 'What's your secret? Why are people coming to you?' They said, 'We don't know.'

He said, 'What is your religious practice, what is your sadhana?'

They said, 'That too we don't know. We are very ignorant, illiterate persons. We know just one prayer --

we do that.'

So he asked, 'What is your prayer?'

They looked at each other... they felt very ashamed and shy. Then one said,

'Forgive us father, because we don't know really how to pray, so we have invented one. We should not have done this, but we are ignorant people -- forgive us. We have invented our own prayer. Knowing that God is a trinity -- God the Father, the Holy Ghost, and the Son -- and we are also three, we have made a prayer: "You are three, we are three -- have mercy on us." This is our prayer.'

The head priest was very angry. He said, 'Who told you this is prayer? Has anybody ever heard of any prayer like that? You should learn a christian prayer -

- Our Lord's prayer.' So he taught them.

They asked again, they asked again -- twice he repeated. They said, 'Okay, now we will remember.'

Mm? Happy, he set off in his boat. Then just in the middle of the lake, he was surprised to see that those three were coming -- almost like a storm -- running on the water!

He trembled! He started saying, 'What is happening? This is a miracle!' And they came and said, 'Father, once more please repeat that prayer -- we have forgotten!'

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He fell at the feet of those three and he said, 'Your prayer is right -- my prayer is just formal. You continue your prayer. I should not have disturbed you. Your prayer has been heard. Now who am I to say that this is not right? You simply continue your prayer.'

So just a 'hello' sometimes will do. Prayer has to be something of the heart... spontaneous, with no preparation.

So every night, just a five minute prayer will be very helpful in this moment, mm? and then go to sleep.

In a deep prayerful mood fall into sleep, and in the morning when you get up, again get up prayerfully.

Good.

[A sannyasin therapist who has recently returned says: I've been working very hard. When I'm teaching there is nobody there, and it's very beautiful. But in my life I seem to have lost all of my self-confidence.

But now I'm here with you... ]

In fact, it depends how you look at it. Otherwise losing self-confidence can be a great privilege. It may be just the beginning of losing the ego...

Only the beginning.… Because self-confidence is basically nothing but ego- confidence. And self-confidence is not of much help. If it disappears, it is good. You will feel more free. Of course you will not feel so secure -- but with security there is no freedom. Freedom exists only with insecurity. You will not feel so certain and so smug... but who can be certain? How is certainty possible? Life is so vast, so unpredictable -- how can one have self-confidence in the first place?

In fact only stupid people can have self-confidence. The more wise you become, the more it disappears.

[The sannyasin says: When I feel confident, then I feel that I move with a kind of authority.]

That's what stupidity is -- authority. When you are authoritative, you are no more alive, you are no more free, you are no more spontaneous, and you are no more in tune with existence. How can you have authority?.… Because life is such a mystery -- nothing is known about life and nothing can be known about life. It is not only unknown -- it is unknowable. How can you be authoritative about it? The authority simply means that you are not aware of the tremendousness, of the vastness, of the hugeness of life, and you are not aware of the mystery.

Socrates says, 'When I was young, I used to think I knew all. When I became older, I became suspicious, I lost my confidence and many loop-holes erupted in my knowledge. And when I am really on the verge of death, only one certainty is left -- that I am ignorant, that I don't know anything.'

Socrates is really one of the wisest men, and whatsoever he says, he means.

So... your self-confidence disappearing is a blessing. In fact one should start living without authority. I know it is difficult -- that's why people choose authority. Authority seems to be clear-cut. It is as if in the vast jungle of life you have cleared a small space -- neat, clean... that's what authority is. But .look around a little. Nothing is neat and everything is mysterious. Man knows nothing.

So I don't think your self-confidence is going to come back -- no! You will have to live without it. And once you have decided to live without it, you will have such beautiful freedom available. But I know your problem. You have been trying to live through knowledge. You have been trying to live through information, through the scripture, you have been trying to live through the mind. Now try to live without the mind. You have been trying to live in a rational way and now doubts are arising about reason.

The disappearing self-confidence simply means that now you are becoming aware that life is bigger than reason. When somebody asks you a question -- somebody says, 'Is there a God?' only a foolish person can say yes or no. He can say with confidence! And you can judge by the confidence how foolish he is.

I go on looking into christian missionaries' books -- I have never seen such stupid literature. So confident -- and without knowing anything!

Somebody asks, 'Is there a God?'... a small child asks you, 'Is there God?' and you say, 'Yes.' Just look behind your 'yes'. What are you trying to pretend before the child? Who are you kidding?

Be humble, and say to the child, 'I don't know.' You will be truer, and closer to God. And when you say,

'Yes, God is,' and you try to say it with deep confidence so that the child is convinced, and through the conviction of the child you are convinced that you know When you see that yes, you have convinced the child -- at least silenced

the child, if not convinced -- then you feel good. But life is not so easy. It is not a question of two plus two being four. Sometimes in life two plus two is five, and sometimes two plus two is 1/08/07

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three. And sometimes whatsoever you do, you cannot make two plus two -- they don't join. That plus becomes impossible.

Who can speak authoritatively? You can speak only in deep humbleness. You can say 'perhaps'. How can you be certain?

I know the difficulty -- because when you are not certain, you become afraid whether the other will be convinced. If you are not certain, you become afraid inside; the other has touched your uncertainty.

I have heard that a man was travelling in a train. He came into the compartment and he was very much worried and trembling. He asked the man who was sitting just in front of him, 'Where does this train go?

Does this train go to London?' The man said, 'Yes.' He started reading his newspaper again, but he was not yet certain. He asked again, 'Sir, can I ask you again?' The man said, 'Are you mad? All over the compartment it is written that the train is going to London. The train is going to London -- and keep quiet!'

He started reading his newspaper again. The man kept quiet.

Then at another station somebody else entered the compartment and asked the man who was worried whether the train was going to London or not, 'Is this train going to London? The man jumped and he said,

'Now you have made me uncertain again!'

We are all uncertain. So when somebody asks, '... is there a God?' you become afraid deep down: he is making you uncertain again! Somehow you were managing to believe that there is a God and everything is okay -- God in heaven and we on the earth, and everything is going well and He is taking care of this whole mess, this chaos, and things eventually will be right. And now here comes a man, a small child, and says, 'Is there a God? Does God really exist?' And he is asking so innocently -- again he is provoking your uncertainty.

You shout loudly, 'Yes, there is a God!' Against whom are you shouting? Against

this child or against your own fear? Just as you are trying to make this child keep quiet, your parents had made you keep quiet.

Your childhood is still there... uncertain.

This is all absurd! There is no need to carry such self-confidence. If you know, you know -- there is no need for self-confidence. If you don't know, you don't know. What is the need for self-confidence? You see the point? If you know, you know. There is no need for self-confidence. If you don't know, you don't know.

What will self-confidence do? So in either case, it is not needed -- it is an unnecessary burden. Forget about it!

And this time when you go from here, just go free. Let the spontaneity decide. Of course then you will become very inconsis-tent -- you will be inconsistent like me -- because then you cannot be consistent.

Each moment has its own spontaneity... each moment has its own say.

Deep down there will be a consistency, but that will not be on the surface. Your freedom will be consistently there, but your statements will all be different. A real man of understanding is bound to be contradictory, because a real man of understanding only lives the moment.

For example, I am saying to you that there is no need for self-confidence. I am not saying that tomorrow also I will say the same and I am not saying that yesterday I said the same -- that is none of my concern.

This moment -- looking into you, looking into myself -- this is how I feel... that there is no need. One can simply be oneself -- there is no need for any self- confidence. And I am not saying that when self-confidence disappears, you will have an unself-confidence -- that disappears with it too. It is its shadow. How can you be unself-confident when there is no self-confidence? They both go together. You are simply there then --

naturally there... responsive. And your response is authentic, not authoritative.

An authoritative response is never authentic, and an authentic response is never authoritative. But to be authentic is more valuable. If you don't get confused I will say that to be authentic carries its own authority

-- but it is not authoritative. It is sincere.

You look in my eyes.… Whatsoever I am saying is not authoritative -- it is sincere. And sincerity has its own weight, it goes deeper... touches the very core of your being. Authority is very superficial, authority is borrowed -- sincerity is your own flowering.

So forget about it! There is no need.

[The sannyasin says: I know... the difference between the authority or sincerity that's there, and the authority that comes from the mind. But it seems that in my own life, I can't let go of that yet, though in my work I can.]

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objective; the problem is somebody else's. When it is your own life, the problem is yours.

Somebody comes to you, and he has a problem. You can be very objective, very sincere -- sincere to the core -- because you are not risking anything. You can be sincere, there is no risk -- but when the problem is your own, the question is your own -- then the answer is not so objective. You are not two, you are one.

Now the question is arising in you!

The day Amit Prem [a therapist friend with whom the sannyasin had originally come to see Osho] took sannyas, I asked him, 'Have. you something to say?' He said, 'Osho, what next?' I said, 'There is nothing.

Drop all hope. The very hope that one has to gain something and improve, advance, become spiritual, adept, siddha, this and that -- all nonsense! Drop all hope!'

He said, 'This is what I say to other people!'

Now if you have said it to other people and it was authentic, you should not ask, 'What next?' Then there is no next -- this moment is all, and one is not going anywhere. We are already here! And here is all that is.

There is no future, no space to grow. The world is perfect each moment -- it is not going from imperfection towards perfection, and each individual is perfect as he is. And Amit says, 'Yes, this is what I say to other people.'

Then just to make it an experiment, I didn't suggest that he do any group or any meditation or anything.

Now today he writes a letter to me saying, 'I think that by being here nothing is going to happen.' Again the same desire -- something should happen. And I was just creating a situation. I was just making it clear to him that whatsoever he has been saying to others is not authentic, otherwise it should enter his own life too!

It is very easy to advise others. It is very difficult when it comes to your own problems. Then you become uncertain, because you know your answers are just answers. How can you deceive yourself? You can deceive somebody else -- it is easier. The other does not know whether [you have] attained or not, mm?

But this Amit Prem tells somebody that there is nowhere to go; herenow is the goal. Now how is the other supposed to know whether he is talking from some inner experience of the herenow, or whether he is just philosophical, he has learned a doctrine? The other will be impressed.

But when the question arises to Amit Prem himself -- sitting in his chair or lying down in his bed and suffering from dysentery and this and that, and the problem arises, 'Amit Prem, what are you doing here?

Why are you wasting your time here?' -- the question is real. The question is more real than your answer.

Then the self-confidence You will feel that something is missing. The question

is more real, deeper than your answer. Now your answer has to be deeper too.

So this is my suggestion: whatsoever you say to people, before you say it to them, after you have said it to them, meditate on those answers, compare notes

with your own question. And by and by, if you feel that you have not answered any question that is yours, then your answer is not really authentic, not sincere. It looks sincere, it may be a beautiful answer -- that's okay. Very logical, pertinent, penetrating -- but it is not authentic.…

Because the real test is within you. There is the crucible... there you have to test everything. There is the real fire. If the answer is real it will pass through the fire. If the answer is not real it will not be able to solve your question, and if it cannot solve your question, please remember that it is not sincere -- then better not to say it to anybody.

At the most say, 'I have not been able to solve my own question, but this is the way I would like my question to be solved. This is just my suggestion, not my answer... just my intellectual approach towards it.

This is my intellectual understanding, but it is not spiritual.' Say it! Then you will be more sincere.

Sincerity simply means that whatsoever you are saying to others you ask of yourself, 'Has it happened to me? Is it really happening to me?'

That's what the problem is: you know the right answer, and when you are teaching you are a good teacher. So you teach well -- you satisfy your students. They feel very good -- they have received something. But when you come home, your own questions are there (a chuckle); you cannot deceive those questions! They are there.

So when you go back, tell Amit that this has been a situation for him.

This has been a situation -- and I was putting him into that situation to give him a real feel that whatsoever he has been saying is just absurd. I'm not saying wrong -- I am saying absurd. It may be right --

because it looks right -- but it is absurd.

Deep down in him there is a great desire to grow, to become, to be something, to be somebody. I simply suggested nothing to him for those few days he has been here. In fact I suggested that he conduct a group --

not to participate, but lead. So he felt that if he is leading groups here and he was

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ashram has nothing to give to him.

This was just a situation. And tell him that is worked! It has brought his whole heart to the surface. Now the real work will start. And tell [the sannyasin ma who was with him] she proved to be of a more grounded nature than Amit Prem... proved to be more centered. But god! Now things are clear...

[A group leader who had to return to the West for health reasons, said he gave groups there and many participants will be coming to see Osho. He then says: It's difficult when I experience that part in me that stops me from coming here forever.]

Accept that too. There is no need to fight it. If it is there, it is there. One day it will disappear, but you need not make it disappear. Then it will never disappear. It is bound to be there in everybody who is close to me; it is bound to be there, otherwise you will simply disappear. You will disappear into my emptiness. You have to cling to something against me. That is your security.

Nothing wrong in it -- it is natural. It is part of the whole heritage. We have been trying to survive, and we have been fighting in every way against disappearing. Down the centuries for millions of years, every being has been fighting and fighting to survive. Then that becomes part of our nature -- that effort to survive.

When you fall in love it creates trouble, because love is possible only when you disappear. So that whole conditioning of the mind, of centuries, has gone to the very cells. That becomes a barrier to all kinds of love.

And to be in love with me is dangerous. So it is a natural tendency to fight, to find some way or other, and to be scared and afraid. But it is natural -- accept it... let it be there!

In spite of it you are going to disappear. So we are not worried about it. It cannot

prevent you... it cannot even delay you. It is almost irrelevant, so don't pay much attention to it. In fact the more attention you pay to it, the more you feed it. It is there, so accept it just like your back: it is also there, a part of you.

And don't in any way try to drop it. If you try to drop it, it will give you a great fight. Simply accept, and in spite of that, things are growing, things are moving -

- nothing to be worried about.

That's why when you are there, you feel me more and more easily, because then there is no problem --

you are alone there, and the fear is not there.

It always happens: whenever lovers are separate, they feel.… And when they are close they nag, and fight, and conflict arises. And it seems absurd, because when they are separate and far away, they long to see each other, to be with each other, and once they are together, again the whole nonsense starts. But this is part of growth, so don't be worried. Let it be so! That is for me to look after it, mm?

And you look good. Your health is really good!

[The groupleader's girlfriend then says she feels a conflict between being in the ashram and being with her boyfriend when he was in the West.]

It is natural, mm? You love me, you love [him]. Both loves are of a totally different quality and a different dimension, and you are torn apart between the two. It is natural, the difficulty is bound to be there

-- but that difficulty will help you to grow. It is not going to be harmful; that's why you also feel good.

Remember only one thing: you can have both, because there is no problem about it. The only question is where to stay. Stay with [him] wherever he stays -- if he stays here you stay here, if he goes to the West you go to the West.… Because it is not only a question of your being with me; it is easier for me to work on him through you, so that too is part of the game.

If he is left alone he can be lost, so I cannot leave him alone, mm? And you are my representative to follow him; wherever he goes, you be there. And your growth is going very well -- nothing to be worried about. So whenever he is

here, you be here. And drop this conflict completely. You simply be with [him]

wherever he is. And I am with you! -- don't be worried about it. You are not making a choice. There is no choice in fact!

Your love for [your boyfriend] is on one plane, your love for me is on a totally different plane -- there is no choice. If you are here and Amitabh is not, you can fall apart. But you can be anywhere and you will not fall apart from me, because it is not a question of physical closeness. With [your boyfriend] it is a question of physical closeness. If you are not with him, there is a possibility you may move away, he may move away. That's why I say to remain with him. And I am with you.

1/08/07

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Sooner or later he is going to settle here. Where else will he settle? And once you drop this conflict, he will settle sooner. Now this too works on his mind, knowingly, unknowingly. That too is somewhere in the unconscious. He goes on watching what [you are] going to choose. He is afraid -- a certain fear is there that you can choose me. And he knows if I say to you, 'Stay here,' you are going to stay here -- that he knows.

And this too he knows, because I am saying to you to follow [your boyfriend] you are following -- that too he knows. So there is in his mind ambiguity -- whether you are really with him, or you are with him only because I have said to be with him. He will be at ease only when your whole conflict disappears. Then he can stay here -- there is no problem.

Once he knows that he is not going to lose you by staying here.… His fear is double: his first fear is that he is going to lose himself, his second fear is that he is going to lose [you]. So think of poor [boyfriend] --

he is really in difficulty.

So you simply drop this conflict forever. If you are here I am working on you, if you are there I am working on you -- you are close to me so wherever you go there is no problem about it. And finally and eventually you will settle here. That is not the problem.

Once [he] becomes perfectly certain about you -- that you are with him -- then what is the point of moving between India and America? And it is also good to move a little, so one really settles. Before one settles, little movement is good.

This is my feeling, people who have come for the first time and settle forever, sometimes feel a little difficulty. The desire sometimes arises to go away. So let him come and go, come and go. By and by that will tire him, and then you will be really settled. But everything is going well.

[She adds: I feel afraid that you will die when I'm not here.]

No, no. When I'm dying, I will call you immediately, so you need not be afraid. You will be here when I am dying. Nothing to be worried about. And I am not going to die so soon. I will have to look after so many people, mm? People I have initiated I have to bring to a certain state -- only then can I go, not before. I can manage... don't worry.

The Shadow of the Whip

Chapter #23

Chapter title: Get Lost in My People

2 December 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 7612025 ShortTitle: WHIP23 Audio:

No Video:

[To a new sannyasin who said she hoped to stay two years, Osho said that she could be completely transformed ]

So do a few groups here, mm? We have two years, so we can move very slowly. And there is no hurry --

we can enjoy the journey. People who are in a hurry cannot enjoy the journey. Their eyes are fixed on the goal. They cannot enjoy the roadside view -- and it is tremendously beautiful.

The goal is beautiful, but the journey is beautiful too. God is beautiful, but waiting for Him is also beautiful.

One should not miss the roadside view. In fact if somebody suddenly reaches God, he will not be able to 1/08/07

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recognise Him. The road prepares one. Slowly, slowly God radiates Himself in many ways -- in the valleys, in the trees, in the birds, in the waterfalls -- in many experiences on the way He comes to you, very slowly.

Sometimes you can only hear His footsteps. Sometimes He whispers. Sometimes it is very vague whether He has been there or not. Sometimes you see only His footprints when He is gone.

But this is how one becomes by and by acquainted with the unknown. In a thousand and one ways, you gather bits and pieces of divinity. That's how you become capable of recognising Him when He reveals Himself in His totality.

So it is better to follow a bullock cart way and go slowly, rather than in a jet plane. Because if God is suddenly there you will not be able to recognise Him, you will not be able even to see Him. There will be no link between you and Him. You will be poles apart -- so much so that there will be no possibility of

any bridge.

So this is good that you will be here for two years. Enjoy everything that is available here.… And by becoming a sannyasin you have become part of my community.

The word community is very beautiful. It means a unit of people and persons who have something in common -- from 'common' comes 'community'. This is not an organisation. You are related to me, other sannyasins are related to me -- I am the common factor. You are all sharing me and my presence -- hence it becomes a community.

So become more and more part of this family. Get in tune with the ashram, meditations, groups . . .

make friendships, relationships, relate to my people. The more you get lost in my people, the closer you will come to me, because they all have one thing in common -- and that is me.

And from this moment you become part of my community Good!

[Another sannyasin says: I keep getting involved with people but I don't feel love for anyone.]

What do you mean by love? What is your expectation of love? Sometimes it can happen that you have some fantasy about love. You have some very perfectionist idea about love, and in comparison to it all your relationships will look superficial.

[She replies: I mean warm feelings that are very strong.

That's what I am saying -- that again is the same problem. How strong do you want feelings -- almost feverish? The problem is created by you. If you have some absurd idea of love, some romantic idea of love, some poetic idea, then reality will always look pale. That's why poets can never love. They have such high ideas that everything looks superficial, dirty, earthly. They want to fly.

For example, if you have an idea that you should be able to fly in the sky, and you cannot -- you can at the most run on the earth -- then you will feel very disturbed. 'What type of flying is this? I continue to run on the earth.'

My suggestion is that you forget all about your romantic ideas -- they are childish. Listen to reality. And whatsoever is happening is good! Enjoy it! Why disturb it? You can disturb everything.

Forget the idea of love. You must be carrying some philosophy. Be realistic: this is what love is -- and if you go into it and enjoy it, it will grow more and more, but because of your idea from the very beginning it is condemned.

The myth of love is very deep-rooted in humanity. For centuries people have been taught what love is.

Nobody knows anything about what love is, but they go on teaching people what love is. They have raised the whole thing to absurdity, so whatsoever you do will fall short. And then you are condemned... you are in a hell.

My suggestion is -- forget the idealism. Don't say that it is not warm enough. It is warm -- good! At least it is not cold. Lukewarm -- it will do. Just a little spark is there -- it will do. Just by a little spark you can create such a big fire; the whole forest can be on fire just by a little spark. But don't condemn the spark, otherwise there will be no possibility for growth.

It is good that you fall in love with people. Maybe it is just sexual -- let it be. Nothing is wrong in sex...

it is the spark. But what happens when you fall in love with a person is that you start thinking this is just sexual; divine love is not happening -- there is condemnation. Then the love will never happen, because through condemnation you will kill the very possibility -- the seed will be burned. Nothing is wrong in it!

You are a body too -- and every-thing starts from the body. 1/08/07

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When you are eating, if you have some absurd idea about divine energy, you will say, 'What material things am I eating? Just ordinary food -- butter and bread and vegetables. I need divine energy -- and this is all material. You can purchase it in a hotel. This cannot be divine.'

But eat it, digest it, and there will be a transformation in you. The material will become mental, the physical will become psychological, and if you digest your psychological energy, it will become divine.

Divine energy is not available in the marketplace; all that is available is physical energy. Then you have to transform it into divine energy.

Love that is available is sexual, so accept the. facticity of it, and don't condemn it

-- that it is just sexual.

It is sexual, but sex is the door. Don't get stuck in sexuality, but don't be against it either. Enjoy it! Let it become a little higher and deeper -- then it will be more like love. And if love grows even deeper, it will become more like prayer. But those will be inner transformations that you have to bring to it. The available is raw material.

It is just like a raw diamond. You may not even recognise that it is a diamond. You have to cut it, you have to polish it, you have to give it shape, and then it is there -- tremendously valuable.

It is exactly like that: sex is just a raw diamond, physicalness is a raw diamond. So you will have to cut, you will have to work on it -- hard it is... arduous it is. You will have to give it a polishing -- it will take years -- and then one day the precious is in your hands. But the precious does not come directly, it comes very indirectly.

In the world you exist as a body... in the world you are a body. Ninety percent you are a body, nine percent you are a mind, one percent you are a soul. That is the proportion -- so of course the ninety percent is going to be very very important.

My understanding is that you are creating your problem, you are responsible for it -- there is no problem in fact.

So start looking afresh, have a new vision. And nothing is wrong. If you feel to

move with many people, nothing is wrong. Maybe that is your need right now. In the beginning it is natural that one wants to move with many people -- because how to select the right one? The right one is not available there. It is not written on the forehead of somebody that this is the right person for you. Nobody knows who is the right person. You have to meet and mix and see in many situations, and then only can you come to know who is the right person. Once you have found the right person there will be no need to move with many people. But right now it is natural... it should be so.

It is just a search. You are in search, so whosoever meets you, you look into him. How can you know beforehand whether he is for you or not? A priori there is no way to know. You will have to move into some living situation with the person, only then will you be able to judge whether you exist for him, whether he exists for you... only through experience. So if you don't exist for him and he does not exist for you -- if you don't fit with each other, and you don't have a feeling that you are made for each other -- then move away...

the sooner the better. Sometimes it happens that one can get entangled with a person for whom one is not meant. Then the whole life is wasted. So play around, fool around -- nothing wrong in it. This is your search!

It is almost as if one is lost in a jungle and there is no map available, there is nobody whom you can even ask: What will you do? Will you simply sit? You will rush this side and that -- you will go to east, to west, to south, to north, mm? You will start exploring the territory. Some way you will try to find from where to get out of the jungle -- and you will find a way ! If you sit, there is no possibility. You may be just sitting by the side of a highway... or just a few trees may be hiding the highway, and you can simply sit there, lost forever.

So get up and be going, and look around. This is how things are, mm? This whole humanity is almost like a jungle. So many trees, human trees, all around -- just go and sit and shake hands with people, say,

'Hello'... be with people. One day with some-body you simply fit ! It happens so perfectly that you cannot believe it -- but it happens!

Before it happens you will have to experiment. This is the experimental stage of your life, so experiment

-- nothing is wrong in it. And whosoever allows you to be with him, feel

grateful! Whether he fits with you or not, when you move away feel thankful -- he has made you more aware... he has given you some experience. Now you know life more than you had ever known before you met him, so feel grateful.

Never move in anger -- always move in gratefulness, and sooner or later you will come upon the person.

But first thing, drop your ideals, mm? Good. 1/08/07

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[A member of the Primal group says: I have a feeling that I am going rather deeply, and... there's much more still for me to discover, but it's just so very hard for me. Sometimes I can't find a way to move and I feel stuck.]

No, you are going well, and you are going deeper. But the inner depth is immeasurable. You will never come to the bottom -- remember it -- because there is no bottom. And the deeper you go, the more you will feel that you can go deeper. You are going .well. I'm not saying that you have to stop there -- you have to go further. One has to go on going. It is a journey that begins but never ends... and that is the beauty of it.

You will be able to fall deeper by and by -- you are not stuck. You are in a totally different situation, but that too feels like being stuck. When you move inwards, you come to a certain depth to which you have never come before; then your being takes a little time. It needs to get rooted in that depth. That time is not a time when you can say you are stuck -- you are not stuck! Your being takes a little time... a plateau happens.

Once your being has got roots in it, you can go again deeper. So that is a time of being established at a certain depth. If you simply go on deeper continuously, there will be no establishment of anything, there will be no stability in it. You will go and you will come back, and it will become just a memory, and by and by the memory will fade away.

But there is an economic structure in the growth. You go to a certain state, then everything stops, so the whole energy that is involved in going further is no more involved in going further. Rather, it is used for this space to be established; it becomes solid, crystallised. Then again you move.

So one moves, then rests a little. In that rest you are not stuck, but you can interpret it as your being stuck -- that is a wrong interpretation. I can see you are not stuck at all.

... but don't be worried. Simply let the energy settle there, get it centred there, and then you will again find that a flow has come, again you are moving. It is just a rest.

One has journeyed the whole day, walked miles the whole day, then in the night one needs to rest --

under a tree, one has to rest for the night. By the morning one will be able to move again. And if you continuously move, within two, three days you will fall, and you will never be able to move again. So that's a natural system, a very automatic system: you go only up to a certain point, then your whole structure says, now enough -- you rest. Let the energy be revived again. Let the body relax so that you can move tomorrow morning.

So there is a rhythm of movement, rest; movement, rest. This is just a rest period. Soon you will see that the movement will come. Go on doing whatsoever you are doing -- the movement will come. And by the end this group will also give you a new depth.

Things are going well.…

[Another group member says: This is the deepest I have ever gone -- I really went into my feelings... I didn't get into anything heavy... There was so much energy that I really felt and did not think.]

This has been very good. Things are going well. More -- much more -- will be coming.

And don't think that something heavy is coming. You may not have something heavy repressed. So one should not expect anything -- that creates the problem. One should simply remain without expectation, so whatsoever happens is okay.

If you have some expectation that something heavy should happen and is not, then there are two possibilities: either you will start creating that heavy thing because you want it so desperately.… And that will be false -- and your unconscious can deceive you. Just to satisfy you, if you want something heavy you have something heavy. The unconscious can create something heavy which will be false -- and you will not be benefited by it. In fact, you will feel exhausted -- not replenished, not rejuvenated.

When something really heavy is broken, one feels very very light -- not exhausted... one feels full of energy. But if the unconscious has to pretend -- mm? just to fulfill your expectation -- you will feel very exhausted. So whatsoever comes is good. If nothing comes, that too is good.

This is one of the problems with growth groups -- because everybody looks at everybody else.

Somebody is going into something heavy and you are not, so you feel comparative -- that something is missing, he is going into such a heavy thing. But he may have to go, and you may not have to.

I have come across people who have been in Primal Therapy with Janov or with others, and because it is insisted upon that there is a primal scream, people manage to scream one day. It looks like primal and it is not -- because after that primal scream they remain the same. If it is really a primal, they will be totally 1/08/07

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different.… But their unconscious played the trick. The unconscious helps you, and if you demand too much, it will create an illusion, a hallucination.

Have you seen? Sometimes it happens to women. Some woman wants to have a child very desperately

-- she can create a false pregnancy and her stomach becomes big. She goes on filling her stomach with air --

and not consciously! Her period stops. Now the unconscious is really playing great tricks. Because she wants the child so desperately, the unconscious says, 'Okay, have it!' How can the unconscious give you the child?

Now she is three months, four months in pregnancy, and starts vomiting, and all the symptoms of pregnancy are there. When she goes to the doctor and he says there is nothing, within two days the stomach settles down and the air disappears, and the period comes again, and all the symptoms disappear.

The unconscious is a great energy, and if you ask too much, the unconscious can give, can deliver -- it can deliver any goods. If you want to see Christ, you will see Christ there. If you want to see Krishna, he will have to play his flute -- and you will see him! These are all hallucinations. So don't expect!

This should be one of the basic rules -- that one should not expect and one should not look at others.

Whatsoever is happening is their thing, mm? It has nothing to do with you -- you are different. So just let things happen, and don't put any expectation in your mind, otherwise you can have a false pregnancy! But things are going well, mm? Much more will be happening. Very good !

[Another group member says he worked through his father relationship and now feels as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. In reply to Osho's query, he says the weight had been on his left shoulder.]

Very good. If your left shoulder was heavy, your right brain must have been burdened. That's how it goes: they are joined cross-wise -- the left hand is joined with the right brain.

Soon you will see new qualities of the right brain arising in you. The right brain is intuitive, poetic...

more capable of religious experiences. The left brain which is joined with the right hand, is more rational, logical. So if the burden is less there, suddenly after a few days you will feel some new insights arising in you -- and when they arise, help them. Be careful about them because they will be very new and you can neglect them.

Many things die through negligence. One has to be careful. That's why I asked

you which shoulder was feeling unburdened. So if you start feeling more intuitive -- more hunches happen to you, you become more imaginative, more poetic, and things look more colourful, you become more loving, more feeling arises --

don't be afraid, Mm? otherwise the mind will again close, and if the mind closes, again your left shoulder will become heavy.

And now you will be working with your mother. You don't have any problem with your mother?

[He answers: The nice part of my mother came up -- not the heavy part.]

Maybe... sometimes it happens that if the heavy part is with your father, the nice part will be with your mother. They are enemies -- so if the father is heavy, the mother must have been nice to you.…

That's natural -- because you can have only one friend; either mother or the father; you cannot have both. The world is still not so aware. Even the child cannOt have both a father and a mother -- he has to choose. And from that very moment choice starts.

If he chooses the father, the mother is against. If he chooses the mother, the father is against -- he is mama's boy, and the father is not interested. And in most of the cases it happens that the father is hard on the boy, nice to the girls -- nice to the daughter -- and the mother is nice to the boy, and harder on the daughter.

But still go into it, mm? It is better to clean all the relationships with the past. Once you have closed the accounts with the past, you become free, you become liberated into the future... you have more space.

Otherwise the past goes on narrowing you.

If you have settled your accounts with your father, suddenly you will feel a new upsurge of love for men. Don't be afraid of that -- because a fear arises that one is becoming homosexual or something. That will come, because when the father's account is closed and you start feeling good about your father -- that yes, everything is gone and finished, and you don't carry the wounds -- you will start feeling good about men. You will become more friendly with men, because each man somehow represents your father.

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[Another group member says: I played around for about four days and for the last couple of days I have really been getting into it. I can get so far and then I get scared to go any further... today I feel sort of more into a softer space . But I just get scared and that's it. And I can head-trip about it, or else I start clowning, and then it stops.]

I know you will do that because the day I suggested Primal Therapy, you turned and you said, 'Ah, shit!'

(she laughs) I didn't say anything -- you were trying to be funny -- but it was foolish. That shows your whole attitude, and if you go into something with that attitude, you will be clowning -- it will not be of much use.

Nobody likes to be advised. And I have to do that sin continuously -- I have to advise people, 'Do this, do that.' Nobody wants to be advised, because it is very against the ego. Even to accept somebody's advice means that you don't know and somebody else knows. So in many ways one wants to avoid -- jokingly maybe, but that is a trick !

That very moment I knew you had missed that Primal group... I knew that it would be difficult for you !

The group had not started, nothing had started, but I could have predicted then that you would miss, because your attitude would be there. It was very unconscious -- not that you did it knowingly, it was unconscious --

but foolish things are supported by people.

You were here with the Soma group, and even [the leader] and others started laughing, thinking that you have done something very nice. So you also enjoyed the trick -- you thought you have done something nice... but nobody knows what people are doing.

Then you cannot be sincere; the whole work is a wastage. So you must have been fooling and pretending and clowning.

[One of the leaders comments: It seems that she can handle the heavier feelings but when it gets to softer spaces, it is difficult. She's really afraid of being a child. She's already well-developed in very sophisticated games and can joke and turn things to her advantage.]

Tomorrow something is going to happen. I have hit hard on her head (with a chuckle). Tomorrow something is going to happen! Mm? She will be able. These sophisticated games are just protections.

She is a child -- and she is simply protecting. She knows that if she goes sincerely into it, she will be childish -- that's what the fear is. She has not grown up in that way. Maybe her height (she is tall) has played some role in it. She must have been taller than other children when she was a child, and that very length has given her a sense that she is a grown-up. So she has never really been a child. She has never allowed herself that freedom.

Now it is there boiling inside, and she knows that if she relaxes suddenly that will erupt -- and for the whole life she has repressed it! So now she tries to manipulate every situation in her favour, by humour, by this and that, rationalisation, intellectualisation. Those are all props -- but they can all be thrown.

Just say to her -- whenever you see that she is doing something, just make it clear to her what she is doing. If she wants to do it, it is good, she can -- it is her game -- otherwise she need not do it. And from tomorrow she will enter; she is ready now. In fact her group will start from tomorrow, and she will enter into that space. And once she becomes a child, she will be tremendously beautiful. Great happiness will arise in her.

Sometimes it happens -- just very accidental things.… For example, her height is accidental. It is not her fault -- what can she do? She must have always been taller than other children of the same age, so she must have been feeling always that she is more grown-up than others, and that has made a gap. That gap has to be broken. And once it is broken she will become very very soft, flowing -- and that is her fear, too.

In the modern world it is happening more. Even small children are becoming

very sophisticated. Each generation they are becoming more sophisticated. The world is becoming more informed, more knowledgeable. Children are glued to the TV for six hours a day. They are getting masses of information which was never possible at any other age or any other time. Of course they are very very sophisticated.

Modern media have made many things possible.

For example, a child cannot read a novel like 'Anna Karenina', but he can see the film on the TV. To read 'Anna Karenina' he would have to wait for many years. But on the TV he can see and he can understand it and he can follow it. He can see Tolstoy, he can see Dostoevsky, he can see Turgenev, Gogol, Gorky. The whole world of literature which was not available to him before is available. He becomes very 1/08/07

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sophisticated. Even small children start feeling very egoistic.

Just the other day I was reading a joke. A doctor told a small child that if one eats an apple a day, it keeps the doctor away.

The child said, 'Ah, nuts ! This is nothing !'

The doctor was a little shocked. He said, 'What do you mean, "This is nothing?"' The child said, 'I have got a better advice to give.'

The doctor said, 'What is that?'

The child said, 'Eat one onion a day, and it keeps everybody away! Not only the doctor -- everybody!'

Even small children are no more ready to receive any advice from anybody... they have become very subtle egoists.

So that barrier has to be broken... and she is carrying that barrier. But from tomorrow all the three musketeers (the leaders) jump on her! She has to be destroyed -- anyhow, mm? So finish the job.

And once you have finished the job you will see something very very soft, flower-like, delicate, arising.

It is there. It will happen.… The Shadow of the Whip Chapter #24

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