CHAPTER 28
18 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
[To a sannyasin who is leaving]
... continue to meditate there and come back as soon as possible, because much work has to be done yet. Something has started but it is just a beginning – never forget that. And never be satisfied too soon. Sometimes it happens that we become satisfied too early. As far as worldly things are concerned, never be dissatisfied, and as far as the inner world is concerned, never be satisfied. Only then is there the possibility of the ultimate flowering.
And just the opposite happens to ordinary minds. They are never satisfied with worldly things. Something more is always there – always a bigger house, a bigger car, more money, more power, prestige, respectability. People are never satisfied as far as things are concerned, but people are absolutely satisfied as far as their inner growth in concerned. That is very suicidal. So reverse the whole process.
That’s what sannyas is all about. It is a revolution. It is putting things upside down. It is uprooting things. It is destroying and recreating, making and unmaking.
So remember, always be satisfied with whatsoever is outside. Never be satisfied with the inner growth. Always remember that something more is going to happen.…
[A recently arrived sannyasin, said that she had done several growth groups in the West but though she enjoyed them, afterwards she always felt uneasy, unhappy. Osho checked her energy.]
Everything is good. You just have too much energy, so when in the group your energy is involved, you feel good. Out of the group you don’t have that involvement, so the energy remains unoccupied. That unoccupied energy brings you down.
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There are two types of people – low energy people and high energy people. The high energy people need deep involvement, commitment. They have much to do. Unless they are creative, they will be sad. If the low energy people have to do something, they will feel drained; if they have to do something they are never happy. They are happy only when they have nothing to do, then their energy is okay. But if it is difficult to understand what type you are, that creates a problem.
You are a high energy person. You need to pour your energy more into work, into creativity, into a thousand and one things. In a group situation you become deeply involved because so much is going on around you. Outside the group, the world seems dull. You remain a little aloof, detached, indifferent. [See darshan of Wednesday, September 1st, where Osho talks to Somendra about using high energy outside group situations.]
That is not going to be your path. You need a deep commitment. If you can put your whole life at stake, you will have your climax, your peak experience. If you can burn from both ends, then only will you be blissful.
That may be the reason why you are feeling lost here. First you were in and had nothing to do; you could not do anything. You could not get involved with the sannyasins and the orange world here. But now you are okay. Go into it headlong. Join a few groups, do the meditations. Get involved in as many things as possible.
That is your way to grow... that’s your way to come home. You cannot go slowly, you have to run. And you cannot sit silently. That way you will feel stuck, stagnant. You are really Western. Your way is going to be active, not inactive. Just witnessing won’t help you – involvement. Get lost in work, in activity, and don’t hold yourself.
Your energy is so good, flowing, there is no problem about it.
[A sannyasin says she is not doing the meditations because: It feels too much of an effort. I enjoy just sitting and walking, and being with friends.]
OSHO Then don’t create problems! – because that sitting and enjoying you have been doing your whole life. That has not changed you. Your problems are there. When something is to be done, you don’t want to do it – you enjoy sitting – but the sitting is not going to help you. If it is helping, then there is no difficulty. If you can just change yourself by sitting with friends and enjoying, then I am not here to force you into any discipline, any hard work. But it is not changing you. That’s what you have been doing for your whole life. You will remain the same
Some hard work is needed. And when you have done hard work and you have earned rest, then sit silently and enjoy friends. It is beautiful... nothing is wrong in enjoying friends and sitting silently – it is good, but earn it first. But how can you-think that sitting and enjoying friends is going to help? It may be just an occupation – just getting into things so that one can pass time, or it may be just an escape from yourself. It may be just a trick of the mind to waste time.
If you are really interested in changing and in dropping your problems, then there are two things: either drop them... then I will not say to do any hard work. Simply drop them. Then you are allowed to sit silently and enjoy and do whatsoever you like, but then drop the problems – and never raise
them again. I’m not saying don’t talk about your problems to me – not even to yourself. Drop them completely. And if you cannot drop them, start meditating.
It is hard but it has to be done. At least two, three months hard work is needed. It will cleanse you and it will purify you. It will destroy the old structure and a new possibility will arise. Otherwise you will continue with the old.
And I see that there is a problem. If you want to avoid hard work, drop the problem. But I don’t see that you will be able to drop it so easily. It is a real problem – it is there hanging in your unconscious.
And my feeling is that you are avoiding meditations. They are not hard... because so many people are doing them. You are perfectly healthy, full of energy; you are not old. It is just the mind that is avoiding meditation, because the mind knows if it goes into meditation, sooner or later the structure will explode and you will have to change.
My feeling is that you are enjoying your problems, your depression, your sadness; you are enjoying it in a subtle way. If you want to enjoy it, then too, there is no problem – but then enjoy it deliberately, knowingly. Then depression is no more depression.
So tomorrow, think about it – these two things. Sit silently tonight. The alternatives are there: either you drop the problems or you have to start meditating. And not so-so, lukewarm. You have to really work hard and go into it. Tomorrow write a letter about whatsoever you have chosen. And I am happy whatsoever you choose, so don’t bother about me; don’t think about what I would like.
Both are good, perfectly good. In fact if you can drop problems simply like that, that’s beautiful; nothing could be better. But if you cannot, then tomorrow morning get up and start Dynamic meditation. And all five you have to do. When the camp is finished, do two meditations and the Nadabrahma, the humming meditation, at home – three meditations. And after three weeks I am going to give you a meditation – but first you decide, mm? Good.
[A visitor says: How can I stop fighting with my mind and my stomach? because it distracts me during meditation very often... It’s a nervous kind of tension and a feeling of hunger. It has been there for about a year – since I’ve been meditating.
Osho checks his energy, and suggests he do some groups.]
And whenever you go in the morning for the motion – when you empty your stomach – after emptying it, take a dry towel, a rough towel, and rub your stomach. Pull the stomach in and rub hard. Start at the right corner and go round. Go just around the navel but don’t touch the navel... really hard so that it gives a good massage. Pull the stomach in so all the intestines are massaged. Do it whenever you go for the motion – twice, thrice a day.
And the second thing, in the daytime, between sunrise and sunset – never in the night – breathe as deeply as you can, as many times as you can. The more you breathe the better, and the deeper you breathe the better. But remember only one thing – that breathing should happen through the stomach and not through the chest, so that when you breathe in, the stomach goes up – not the chest. You are a German and you may do something wrong [Osho chuckles. When you breathe in,
the stomach goes out, and when you breathe out, the stomach goes in. Leave the chest as if it has nothing to do with it. Just breathe by the belly, so the whole day it will be like a subtle massage.
Do these two things, and these groups will do much.
[A sannyasin says: I feel a lot of confusion here... One day I’m up and the next I’m down, and doubting the whole sannyas trip again. It changes so fast here that I can hardly follow.]
Mm, it is natural. Doubt is natural to the mind. It remains with the mind. It goes only when the mind is gone. You cannot have a mind without doubt; that is impossible. A mind without doubt is a no-mind. In fact, doubt is the very core of the mind. And no-doubt is the very core of the heart. So it happens to everybody – to whomsoever comes to me it is going to happen; he starts hanging between the heart and the mind.
Sometimes when you are in the mind you are doubtful – doubtful about everything. It is not a question of about what you are doubtful. You are simply doubtful. Anything will do; that is just an excuse. You are doubtful so you put your doubt on any nail. Any nail will do, any hook will do. If there is none you will find one, because you are in a doubting state and the doubt has to be projected.
When you are closer to the heart, doubt will disappear; then everything is perfectly good. You are in trust.
That is what is happening. In the morning when you come to listen to meFirst I am talking in Hindi
so you cannot understand much. That also is very helpful, because if you can understand, the mind goes on working. You cannot understand. You have just to be here sitting silently; whatsoever I am saying goes on passing. It cannot create any disturbance in your mind. You are simply absorbing my pure presence.
That’s what satsang is – to be in the presence of the master... just to be in close affinity, close quarters; just to be there doing nothing. Suddenly your heart starts flowering, opening. You feel good. One can almost feel ecstatic.
Back home you are back in the head. Again you start thinking about what is happening, what is going on, what you are doing here. You are hanging between the heart and the head. That’s how everybody is hanging, more or less.
One thing is going to help you. Whenever the mind starts doubting, just sit silently; don’t cooperate, withdraw your cooperation. Let the mind doubt. Tell the mind, ‘Okay, you go on, but it is none of my business. I will sit silently by the side and look at you. I will watch the traffic. I will not be a participant.’
[Osho said that whenever the mind started to dominate, he should simply remain a witness]
... and whenever you feel that the heart is there, give it your total cooperation. Rejoice in it, dance with it, sway. Don’t be a miser; don’t hold anything. Just let go... what Sufis call fana. Just die in it totally. Disappear into it. Become such a participant that you are no more there. With the heart, drown yourself in the rejoicing, in the joy of it. In the fana – that is the exact word. It means to disappear, dissolve.
Then you will see, within a week, a shift. The heart will become predominant more and more. The mind will be there to interfere less and less. You will feel a leaning towards the heart more and more. Further away the mind is still going on with its mechanical work – but very far away... as if on some other planet, far away on some other star.
And when the heart is thereTomorrow morning when you sit there [in the lecture] go into it really,
float with meride on my wave. Be courageous. And don’t make any conditions – just go with it
wherever it leads. And once you start enjoying the heart, there is no need for any discipline. This is only in the beginning, because once we know that the heart is really beautiful, blissful, the change automatically starts happening.
Right now we are not aware of the taste of the heart. We know only the taste – the bitter taste – of the mind. That is familiar and we are trained for it, educated for it, conditioned for it. And nobody has told you anything about the heart. It is a neglected part – and it is your very core. The periphery has been decorated too much and the innermost shrine has been almost neglected. You have completely forgotten it.