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Chapter title: None
4 November 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Archive code: 7711045 ShortTitle: OPENSE04 Audio:
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[A seeker who is taking sannyas says that he has spent nine years serving other indian gurus, which has brought him to Osho. He has been critically ill for the last two years with disorders arising from a congenital problem.]
Deva means divine, narendra means a king -- divine king.
And stop thinking about yourself as if you are missing anything; you are not. It is just a wrong notion that has settled in you. You have made it such a constant thinking that your thinking is keeping it going like a wound. Nothing is wrong with your energy. An idea has just settled in you.
So the first basic thing is to drop that idea. And don't think too much of the body; start thinking of the inner king. Emphasis should be on consciousness, not on the body. And there is a complexity: if you think too much of the body, the body becomes ill, and when the body becomes ill, naturally you think about it more. Then it becomes a vicious circle.
Even if a healthy person, a perfectly healthy person, starts thinking about his stomach -- how he is going to digest this and that and what is going to happen -- within twenty-four hours his stomach will be disturbed.
And once it is disturbed, he will think more.
So nothing is basically wrong with the body. It is just that an idea has become settled. Medicine can't help because medicine can't cure the idea. So you can go from one doctor to another, from one 'pathy' to another 'pathy' and they will not be of much help. They may even disturb you because their medicines will do something but they cannot cure the idea. And there is no other disease except the idea. So their medicines will have after-effects; they are all poisons.
And the more you fail with the doctor, the more you become concerned with the body. Then a body-consciousness arises. One becomes very very touchy about the body. Just a slight change, just a slight difficulty, just a slight discomfort, and one gets into a panic. Then panic helps the body to become more and more disturbed.
So the first thing in my suggestion is: you drop the idea. Start living.
It happened once A man was told by a doctor that he would not live more than
six months. That man had been ill for twenty years with a thousand and one kinds of illnesses. All that can happen to a human being was happening to him. The doctors were tired; and he was very rich. He was a hypochondriac, and 1/08/07
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just out of sheer tiredness the doctors said, 'You cannot survive so forget certain. Now nobody can save you.
So if you want to live, you can live for six months.'
The man thought 'If I am going to live only for six months then why bother about the body? It is going to die.' So for the first time he shifted his consciousness. He ordered the best clothes, he purchased the best cars, and he planned a world tour. He went to every place that he always wanted to go to but had not gone because of the body. He travelled around the world, ate everything that he always wanted to eat, made love to women, purchased everything that he wanted... really lived! Death was coming so there was no point in holding back. After six months when he went back, he was healthier than he had ever been
before. He lived thirty years more and the problem never came up again!
You have to drop that consciousness. Naturopathy is good because it is not a pathy; it is just a rest. (He'd asked if he should go to a Naturopathic Clinic some distance from here.) But don't become a faddist, otherwise that is an illness. Naturopathy in itself is not a pathy; it is just giving rest to the body, giving the body a situation where it can become attuned to nature. It is an attuning with the instinctive nature; it is non-medicinal. But the problem with Naturopathy is that it can become a fad. Then the fad is more dangerous than the disease. And it is very rare... Naturopathy helps many people, but it is very rare that a person who has been helped by Naturopathy does not become ill with Naturopathy itself. It is very rare; then it becomes a fad. He is constantly thinking what to eat, what not to eat, where to go, where not to go, and about ecology and all that.
Then life becomes difficult again. You cannot breathe because there is so much pollution in the air. You cannot eat in a hotel because things are not prepared in a natural way. You cannot eat this and you cannot eat that, because you would like only natural foods. You cannot live in a city. And then things become difficult.
Always remember, Naturopathy is just a rest. Good -- once in a while even for no reason one should go to a Naturopathy clinic and rest for two, three weeks, one month, two months, for as much as one can afford every year and for no particular reason, just to enjoy nature and natural foods and bath and sauna, and massage. Not for any particular reason but just for simple joy, the sheer joy of it.
So my suggestion is that you go to the Naturopathy clinic, enjoy it, but drop the idea that you are ill.…
So think of the inner king; the body is just a palace.
[The new sannyasin asks if he should go to the nature cure clinic, or take some therapy here.]
If you are enjoying here, then there is no need to go... then there is no need to go anywhere.…
Then take massage here. We have many kinds of massages available; the Alexander Technique is available. That will be very good, mm? -- the most helpful thing. Massage is available and if you feel like it then Rolfing, Neo- rolfing, Postural Integration. Take these things. And if you are enjoying it here,
then there is no need to go anywhere.
... Have you done any groups before? Anything like Encounter, Gestalt?... Mm, in Australia? They didn't help much? No, nothing like that can help you. But you will come out now; nothing is the problem.
First do these things: Alexander Technique and Massage, Neo-rolfing, these three. Then Hypnotherapy and Deep Hypnotherapy. Then I will see if something else is needed.
And just enjoy being here; that will help immensely. Mix with my people; they are beautiful people.
Befriend them, be loving, and forget yourself in the whirlwind that is here. Forget yourself. Sing, go to the Music Group and Sufi Dancing. Whatsoever you can do easily, go into it. Drop body-consciousness and attain to more inner consciousness. And within a month things will have gone. Good, good!
[A sannyasin says that he has trouble with the idea of surrender. I can't understand it. I don't know whether I am already surrendered. I'd do anything... but I see that as love; I don't see it as surrender.
Mm! but they are the same thing, Osho replies. Love and surrender are synonymous; they are two names for the same thing. Love is surrender. And you are surrendered; that's why it is hard for you to comprehend what it is. Because you are already that and there; you are in that space. It is easy to understand when you are outside. You can watch, you can be more objective; you can move around. But when you are in that space, when you are that space, then it becomes very difficult because then there is nobody to see it. The knower and the known are no more separate ]
[A sannyasin couple are present. The man feels good but not enough... he is stuck in his mind and has 1/08/07
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difficulty to stay with his feelings.]
It is not a question of seriousness or sadness... if you label it as seriousness and sadness you will never be able to solve it, because the labelling is wrong. It is just a depth that is arising in you and you are putting negative labels on it. It happens many times that we can misinterpret something. We call it a name and that name can destroy the whole vision. For example, depth also feels like sadness because sadness has a depth.
And we know sadness, we don't know depth, so when for the first time depth happens it looks like sadness.
Now, you are really going well. Your meditation is good, you are flowing, but because of this meditation and flow, depth is arising. That depth will look to you as if it is sad. You have to enjoy this depth, you have to love this depth. And then the interpretation disappears, a new door will open and you will see it is not sadness. But they overlap, that is true, and they look alike.
A very silent person can look sad. Buddha sitting silently, not doing anything.… He does not even smile but he is not sad. He looks sad, and many have thought that Buddha is sad, but even a smile is meaningless in that depth. He is so deep down in his being that even if he laughs from there it will not come to the lips, or by the time it reaches the lips it will be almost nil; it will lose all energy. But he is not sad. He is immensely ecstatic, he is blissful. How can he be sad?
Something of the depth is arising, so be loving towards it, be respectful towards it. If you call it sadness, you have showed your disrespect towards it. Then you can stop it and you can start pulling yourself out of it. There is no need; relax into it.
And of course when you start falling into depth, insecurity arises; that is a natural consequence of depth.
Because depth means death. Depth means you start disappearing from the periphery. The you that you have always known yourself to be is disappearing. Insecurity will arise, and when insecurity arises you will start to project insecurity somewhere. You will project it on the woman you love because she is the closest. You need some curtain on which to project it, and [your girlfriend] becomes the curtain.
One has to rationalise, otherwise the mind feels very uneasy. One has to find some reason as to why one is insecure. The mind says you are insecure because of [your girlfriend]. She may leave you some day or she may go to somebody else or something may happen, and this love affair may not be always. These are the explanations the superficial mind is giving to you, but they help you to rationalise. Uneasiness goes; now you know what is the problem.
Maybe you cannot solve the problem by the explanation. No explanation ever solves anything but it gives you a kind of consolation -- that you know what the problem is. At least you know the problem even if you don't know the solution. Maybe if you think over the problem the solution will be coming. But it is not coming from [your girlfriend]; it has nothing to do with her.…
It is your own depth that is creating the fear of death. I can see inside you that a great trembling is there.
That trembling love, nothing. It is coming from your core; the fear is arising from there. You need some explanation outside but those explanations are not helpful; they will be hindrances.
Go into it! This fear is good, this trembling is good. This is spiritual trembling. Every seeker has to go through it because every seeker has to die, and before death there will be trembling, great trembling. One cannot die easily! The mind will find all kinds of ways and means to avoid it. The mind will fight and resist.
It will give great trouble to you before it relaxes, before it accepts it, before it starts tumbling into the depth.
It will tremble on the shore. It will cling to anything.
So just look at the depth, start falling into it... allow it to happen. Something incredibly beautiful is very close by. No explanation is needed, no rationalisation is needed. Stop asking the mind what is happening.
Simply go into the happening. This is not the time to ask; this is the time to go into it.
And you have come in the right moment. You need me and it will be good if you are close by. The jump will be easier. So nothing to be worried about.…
[A sannyasin has been invited to live in Lao Tzu house with the condition she is indoors by eleven at night and settles with one lover for six months, instead of running around with many men. She says she feels at a turning point. Osho checks her energy.]
You are at a turning point. And this moment can be used very very creatively. I have been watching you: you have been running after men desperately. It has nothing to do with men, it has nothing to do with sex; it has nothing to do with all that. It is just that you are avoiding yourself through occupation, and sex is very occupying because it brings all kinds of misery. Sex is just the engine and the train is of so many 1/08/07
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All types of compartments are there: jealousy and misery and pain and fight and anger and hatred. The whole train is loaded and sex is just the engine: It is not much; it just keeps the train running.…
People go on doing but it is a vicious circle. Again you feel empty and then what to do? And it is always better, the mind says, to be occupied than not to be occupied. The mind says that it is better to have something, whatsoever it is, than have nothing. Even if it is misery it is okay; at least one is occupied.
But the time has come now: you stop! There is no need to run after anybody. If the relationship is going on with Veda make it more and more loving and silent, make it more and more of a friendship. There is no need to reject him half the time and then hanker for him the other half. That's what sexuality continues to do. It hankers and when the man starts coming towards you, you start running; that is the whole game.
When the man starts going somewhere else, you start running after him. So either the man is going away and the woman is following, or the woman is going away and the man is following; they are never together.
It becomes an ego trip. You enjoy somebody desiring you, you enjoy somebody following you. You enjoy it that somebody is desperately in need of you; so how to feel that Attract him and then reject him!
When you reject him he is in need and he is like a fish thrown out of water. You enjoy it. You know that you are very very significant to this man. Look how much he is suffering without you! And you can only know this if you reject.
When he is suffering too much you go and console him and you shower your love on him and you say
'Look how loving I am, without me where will you be?' Then he starts taking you for granted; again you have to reject him to create the same situation.
These are the games... but you have played them enough ! I have not told you before because I felt that it was necessary for you to go into it. But during this one year you have done enough. Mm? what people do in two, three lives, you have done in one year! It is finished! Now, with Veda, stop playing games. Be friendly, be loving.…
No need to chase; drop chasing. And if Veda chases somebody, that too is not your business. Just be friendly. When he comes to you, be friendly and be loving. If he wants to chase somebody... maybe he needs to still, mm?
Just as you did for one year, he may too, so no need to create any.… [She says she is preoccupied about sex and being young and beautiful.]
Mm mm, that will stop automatically once you stop chasing people. That is part of the chasing. If you want to chase people you have to remain young and beautiful and this and that. And in fact, just the opposite happens: the more you chase people, the older you will be, and sooner.
Have you heard the story? -- that a king had many wives. Outside the town he had made a special place for them. He had one man who had to go to fetch one wife every night for him. The king lived up to seventy and by that time at least seven persons who had to go and bring the wife had died. So it is not women that kill -- it is the chasing!
[She says she is worried about being indoors at eleven at night because her
energy is still moving.]
Mm mm, let it move! In your room let it move! Nothing to be worried about. Stop chasing and then you won't be worried about the body. And you will remain younger and beautiful longer. In fact if a person drops all kinds of chasing and desiring, even in the old days he remains beautiful. In fact the older you become, the more beautiful, because age has a grace which youth cannot have.
Youth is a little foolish... bound to be so, it is natural. Youth is shallow. It can't have depth because depth needs experience of life, many experiences -- sweet and bitter and all. When one has passed through many experiences and one has seen all that life makes available, then a grace, a silence, a dignity arises.
One becomes luminous from within.
And that is the criterion for whether the life has really been lived or not. If in your old age you become more and more beautiful every day, that means you have lived rightly. You lived; it has not been a sheer wastage. The last day has to be the most beautiful day in your whole life. And the last moment, when one is dying, has to be the most graceful.
And it happens! One just has to stop hankering, chasing, desiring, lusting, because those things create turmoil; they are destructive. So stop chasing. Be friendly...
1/08/07
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[She says she has a lot of hang-ups about sex and orgasms; feeling inferior and left out of things.]
You have the western attitude about sex; that is creating trouble. The western attitude is always about making things happen, doing something! And there are a few things which cannot be done. There the West becomes very very crazy!
For example, sleep, sex. These are things you cannot do, so the West suffers very much from lack of sleep also, insomnia, and also from sex. Everybody is worried that he is not experiencing it as it should be.
The orgasm is not coming or it is very local or it is very lukewarm or it is not total. And sleep is not good: there are too many dreams. Many times one wakes or one has to wait hours for it to come. People are trying all kinds of things to bring sleep: the tranquillizers, the tricks, the mantras and TM.
And about sex also people are very very worried. That very worry and that very effort to do something is the problem. Sex happens; it is not a thing that you have to do. So you have to learn the eastern attitude toward sex, the Tantra attitude. The Tantra attitude is that you be loving to a person. There is no need to plan, there is no need to rehearse in the mind. There is no need to do anything in particular: just be loving and available. Go on playing with each other's energy. And when you start making love, there is no need to make it great. Otherwise you will be pretending and so will the other person. He will pretend that he is a great lover and you will pretend that you are a great lover... and both are unsatisfied! There is no need to pose anything.
It is a very silent prayer. Making love is meditation. It is sacred, it is the holiest of holies. So while you are making love to a man go very slowly... with taste, taking in every flavour of it. And very slowly: there is no hurry, no need to hurry; enough time is there.
And while making love, forget about orgasm. Rather, be in a relaxed state with the man, relax into each other. The western mind is continuously thinking about when it is coming and how to make it fast and great and this and that. That thinking does not allow the body energies to function. It does not allow the body to have its own way; the mind goes on interfering.…
Relax with the man. If nothing happens there is no need for anything to happen. If nothing happens then that is what is happening... and that too is beautiful! Orgasm is not such a thing that it has to happen every day. Sex should be just being together, just dissolving into each other. Then one can keep making love for half an hour, for one hour, just relaxing into the other. Then you will of utter mindlessness, because there is no need for the mind. Love is the only thing where the mind is not needed; and that's where the West is wrong: it brings in the mind even there!
So just relax into each other and forget about the mind. Enjoy the very presence of the other, the meeting, and get lost in it. Don't try to make anything out of it; there is nothing to make. Then one day there will be a valley orgasm; there will be no peak. There will be only relaxation, but that has its own peak because it has depth. Some day the body will trigger itself into a peak orgasm but that will also be coming; you will just be there.
Sometimes there will be a valley, sometimes there will be a peak... and that is a rhythm. You cannot have a peak every day. If you have only peaks then the peak will r be very big. You have to earn the peak by going into the valley. So it is half and half. Sometimes it will be a valley orgasm. Then get lost in the darkness of the valley, the coolness and the peace. That is how you earn a peak. One day the energies are ready: they themselves are going towards the peak. Not that you are taking them. How can you? Who are you and how can you manage to? By being in the valley the energy accumulates; the peak is born out of the valley. Then there is great orgasm; your whole being is suffused with a joy.
In the peak it will be joy, in the valley it will be peace. Both are beautiful. And finally, peace is more valuable than joy, because joy will be momentary: you cannot be on the peak for more than a moment. A peak means it is very small; it is like a pyramid. You cannot stand there for long, you can be there only for a moment. But vou can be when a valley comes, good. Both have to be enjoyed; both have something to deliver. Both are meaningful and both help you to grow.
Finally Tantra says, the valley orgasm is far more superior than the peak. The peak orgasm is immature, the valley orgasm has a great maturity in it. The peak orgasm has excitement: it is feverish, it is passion. It has a thrill but that thrill is tiring. The valley orgasm has no thrill but it has silence, and that silence is far more valuable, far more transforming. That will remain with you for twenty-four hours. Once you have been in a valley that valley will follow you. The peak will be lost and you will be exhausted and will fall in sleep.
The valley will continue; for days it can have a kind of effect on you. You will feel relaxed, together.
1/08/07
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Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished
Query:-
Both are good, but nothing can be done. One has simply to allow. So love is a kind of relaxation i}i which things have to be allowed. Drop the western mind.…
[A sannyasin says that since she separated from her boyfriend, she has been depressed, wanting to escape from the ashram, even hating Osho.]
Mm mm. Nothing to be worried about; these moments come. These moments come -- when the disciple turns against the master, hates the master. These moments come when the disciple wants to go away... and these are the precious moments. Don't listen to that voice! It is your ego that is making the final effort to somehow take you away so that it can survive! You are not going to die; your ego is going to die. So the ego is trying in every way. It will find all kinds of reasons to get away from here.
Just the other day one very good man was going to take sannyas; then he escaped at the last moment. He has been in business, very successful. Then he dropped out of business because he knew that there was nothing to it any more. He became a Christian monk and for seven years he remained a monk. He saw that nothing was happening there; he had been wasting his time. It was all rubbish, scholarship and all that, but there was nothing, no real thing.
He came here. For three days he listened. He had come to become a sannyasin and yesterday he was to come to darshan but he escaped. He told Laxmi, 'This is too much. If I don't escape now, I will never be able to!' So this is the last chance. He thought that if he can escape, he should escape. I know he will come back4. That fear is natural... that fear is natural. It is a dangerous place to be. But that is the whole point of being here: because it is dangerous! So don't listen to that voice; that voice is of the devil! Mm? the old name for it was the devil. I call it the mind, the ego, but it is the same thing. There is no other devil. If you can stay in this moment, if you can still go on trusting and loving, then something very urgent that is waiting to happen there is going to happen.
[A sannyasin ashram gardener says he feels like a zombie in the garden and is attracted to work with dress-design in the ashram.]
Be a zombie but be in the garden... and enjoy being a zombie! If you enjoy, you are no more. Enjoy being a zombie; that very enjoyment will become the transcendence. What is wrong in being a zombie? Just enjoy it!
It is far better to be with the trees and the rocks than to be with clothes. Your vegetable garden is doing perfectly well. I am very happy! I was thinking to give you a bigger garden in the new place. So get in tune with your zombie; no need to worry. I have already planned a very big garden for you so there is no way of going to [dress design], mm? Good!
[Osho mentioned this problem the following morning in the discourse when talking about the way a master works. He mentioned seven points, the first being catalytic, 'contact high' or satsang, and the second he termed catalepsy. He said catalepsy is the suspension of the disciple's old being...
'When you are in contact with a Christ or a Buddha your old being is suspended, out of the very shock.
You cannot function as you used to before. The very presence is such a shock; everything is suspended. For a moment all thoughts stop, all feelings disappear. For the moment you may miss a heartbeat. That's why it happens that around great masters you will see many people who look like zombies. They are in a kind of suspension.
'Just the other day Divyananda came to me; he works in my garden. He said, "What is happening to me?
I have become almost like a zombie! I am afraid. Should I go and do something else?"
'I told him, "Be a zombie! Be a perfect zombie, that's all. Continue your work."
'Now, something immensely valuable is happening but he cannot understand it yet. This is what is happening -- catalepsy. He is open to me, and working in my garden he has become even more open to me.
He is in a shock. He is forgetting who he is, he is losing his old identity. He is paralysed. Why paralysed?
Because the old cannot function and the new has yet to be born, so he is in the interval. This is going to happen to many. Don't be afraid when it happens. It will go, it is not going to remain. But it is on the way, it happens on the way.
'This is a state of not-knowing. You don't know what is what. All your
knowledge is lost, all your 1/08/07
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Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished
Query:-
cleverness is gone. You become idiotic... you look like an idiot. People will say that you have become hypnotised or something, that you are no more your old self. That is true.
'It is a kind of shock, and good, because it will destroy the past. It will make you discontinuous with the past and it will bring the fresh, the new. It will allow something original to happen, but before the original can happen the past has to go.'
The Open Secret
Chapter #5
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