Chapter title: None

‌Chapter title: None‌

23 November 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 7711235 ShortTitle: OPENSE23 Audio:

No Video:

[Osho explains the meaning of Prem (love) Chintan (meditation). Contemplate on love and you will become love. Don't think of love as a relationship but as a quality of your inner being. Love has to become like breathing. What breathing is to the body, love is to the soul.]

Satya means truth, and sonam means golden -- golden truth. And only truth is god; all else is rubbish.

Only truth is precious.

That has to be attained, and it can be attained; you have the heart for it. And don't feel sorry about the tears -- they are beautiful!

[The new sannyasin says she will be returning to Iran.]

Now you will have to work for me there! Many people will be coming to you; you have to become a passage for me.

[She replies: They are stupid people in our country.]

They are everywhere! I know... I understand -- they are everywhere. Stupidity is so much on the earth, everywhere more or less, but a few people are everywhere who will understand. And those who can understand are the real people. Others

can be ignored; feel compassion for them, don't feel angry. They are stupid but what can they do?

[A new sannyasin says he is very afraid of sexual relationships here. He has a deep relationship in the West, and his mind tells him they should not be possessive, but his heart is frightened.]

It is not the heart that is frightened; it is the mind. The heart knows no fear; it is always the mind that thinks of safety, security, this and that. You are misplacing the whole thing: you are thinking that the mind is saying okay and the heart is afraid. No, that is not possible, that never happens; it cannot happen in the very nature of things. The heart is always ready to explore; it is childlike. The mind is always afraid. It clings to the old, to the past; it is afraid something may get disturbed.

And in fact, if you love a woman or a man or anybody, all other love experiences are going to enhance 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

your love. How can it be against it? If you paint one picture and only one picture, it can't be much of a masterpiece. But if you paint thousands of pictures and then you come back to the old picture and paint it again or just add a few touches here and there, it can become a masterpiece... because everything becomes enriched by experience.

No, I don't think that the heart is afraid. The heart is never afraid because the heart never knows of the past and never thinks of the future; it has no time sense. The more you go to the primitive people you will see that they have no time sense.

In India it happens.… Somebody says 'I am coming tomorrow' and he will not turn up for three, four days. Then he suddenly comes and you say, 'What happened?' But by tomorrow he never meant exactly tomorrow. If he says 'I am coming at four o'clock' he can come at three, he can come at five. It is very loose, the time sense is not very fixed.

Time is a new phenomenon. My feeling is that if the West had not invented watches the East would never have used them. For what There is no reason. The heart knows no time. It still lives in eternity: it lives moment to moment, from one moment to another.

It is your mind, your calculating mind, which is calculating. Maybe the woman comes to know and then something gets disturbed or maybe you really get involved in another woman and then what? Maybe you really come to feel a deeper love, then what? Maybe you really get hooked into some other relationship, then what? What will happen to the past and your commitments and your involvement and your promises and all that?

It is the mind, the calculating mind, which says to you, 'Wait, calculate first; don't jump into anything.'

And this mind is the problem. Remember, if you somehow manage not to get involved with anybody else, back home there will be trouble because you will take revenge on the woman. You will make her feel guilty: it is because of her! In fact that may shatter your relationship because you will feel a kind of prisoner. It is because of this woman.… There were so many opportunities, so many beautiful people all around, a kind of availability and space which you could not enjoy and could not enter because of this woman. It may not be so conscious but unconsciously you may start taking revenge on her.

But if you can have a few experiences easily, naturally, spontaneously There is

no need to force them; if they happen on the way it is perfectly good. It is not a betrayal at all, because how can love betray? Love cannot betray. It is not a betrayal because love will be enhanced, so how can it be a betrayal? This is my

approach; it is against the whole tradition.

Love can never betray. I don't mean that love cannot love somebody else, but in the very nature of love there is no possibility of betrayal. Each love experience goes on enhancing your love affair so it is always enriching. How can it be a betrayal? That language of betrayal is of jealousy, of making a person a commodity, property to be possessed, reducing the person to a thing. And when you reduce the person to a thing you are also reduced to a thing. It never happens on one side only; it is a double-edged sword. You reduce the woman to a thing and the woman reduces you to a thing. She becomes a wife and you become a husband, and both are dead.

Just remain open, available and float with things. Here there is no involvement, nothing. Nobody here is interested in involvement. People simply want to explore all kinds of experiences, and the more they explore, the more they find freedom necessary, because exploration is possible only with freedom, in freedom. So nobody is trying to hold or possess. Here people are meeting each other just for the meeting's sake. Even if it is only for one moment it is beautiful. Sometimes a one-moment affair can go deeper than a whole life-long affair... because it is not a question of time.

Time is horizontal and this moment-to-moment living is vertical. And when you are in a vertical relationship it can go very deep because there is no involvement, nothing, there is no fear... no past, no future. Sometimes, being in love with a stranger can be of infinite value because there are no expectations.

It is not a business, a bargain; it is a pure sharing, it is pure poetry. Remain open!

And it is not the heart. Never condemn the heart. This is very tricky, the mind is very tricky: it can condemn the heart, can say that it is in the heart Good!

[A sannyasin couple come to see Osho about their relationship, because the woman has become involved with another man, but still loves her boyfriend. She is confused.]

The mind is always hankering for something or other. The mind is a hankering. It can never be satisfied.

With the mind there is no satisfaction, never! It is dissatisfaction. So you can have the other man and then 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

sooner or later you will be unsatisfied again. Then you will start thinking of somebody else because that keeps one occupied, that keeps one's hope alive.

One becomes mature only when one drops all hopes and starts living in the moment with no hope; that is the real courage. Then whatsoever is, one makes

the best out of it.

Right now, if you think of the other person you will not be making the best of the situation with Amitabh. Mm? just think of it: it can't be the best that it could be because your mind is divided. When your mind is divided, his mind is disturbed. When you are thinking of somebody he is constantly worried about what is going to happen. He cannot be with you totally because you are not totally with him. There will be a kind of depression between you both, a kind of sadness, something which has not to be mentioned but which is there, something which has not to be brought into the open but which is there and which both know about. Even Lying together you will find there is distance, so you will not be able to make the best of it.

And you love [your boyfriend], but just saying that you love him or feeling it is not enough. It has to be actualized, and actualization is possible only in the present moment. Now you are thinking of the other.… If you get the other you will start thinking of Amitabh and then you will not be able to make the best of that either. This is how life becomes a mess.

While you have [your boyfriend] make the best of it, and if one day you don't have [him] and the other person is available, then make the best of that. But don't swing like a pendulum in the mind, otherwise you will never be happy... and you will be responsible for it! Always remember: it is not a question of persons; it is really a question basically about you, whether you can be happy or not. If you can be happy, you can be happy with anybody. If you cannot be happy, you cannot be happy with anyone. Whomsoever you are with will not make much difference because the mind and its working and functioning will remain the same.

Be one hundred percent wherever you are, and there is one thing very beautiful about being one hundred percent.… If you are one hundred percent in something you can be one hundred percent out of it too That is the beauty of being one hundred percent. You learn how to be a hundred percent: either you are with or not with, but you are always one hundred percent.

So if a person who lives totally in the moment leaves one day, he leaves completely. There is nothing holding him; he never looks back, he burns the bridges. There is no point in looking back. One has lived totally; it is finished!

And you are not finished with Amitabh. How can you be finished? You have not even lived totally with him! You can be with the other person and again you will be half-half. You will be carrying the same load.

It will become bigger and bigger and you will be weighed down with it; then you will feel guilty. Now you are feeling guilty about what [your boyfriend] thinks.

There you will start thinking that you have betrayed

[him]. Maybe for a few days you may not be too worried. When the honeymoon is over you will start thinking about what you have done for this childish thing. Now it is finished. Where does one go from here?

Now it looks ugly to go back to [your boyfriend]; it goes against one's ego. Now there is no point being with this man any more, so find somebody else. This goes on and on.…

It is time now to become a little more mature. That's what I have told [your boyfriend] -- that [you are]

childish. Become a little more mature. I am not saying to live with Amitabh forever, because who can say that and how can one say that? It can happen, it may not happen; that is not the point.

The point is, while you are with him be totally with him. And even if this idea... I know -- what can you do if the idea lurks there? Let it lurk there but don't cooperate with it. It will die by itself. But live totally.

Either way it will be decisive: either that idea dies or you are finished with [him], but things will be complete and clear and you can move with clarity. You can say good-bye to [him], can say that it is finished. But it is not finished because it is not total.

Anything total either goes on and on because it is so beautiful or it becomes ripe and is finished ! One cannot predict what will happen... but either way it is good: one comes out of it unscratched. Love him totally so either it becomes very very deep, it becomes your contentment, or you are finished with it so you can slip out of it. But this lukewarm state is very bad.

That idea is there I know, and it has nothing to do with this person. Mm? you have always been having some ideas -- whether it is a, b, c, it is not the point.

You cannot live with the real, you cannot live without the fantasy; you live with the imaginary. The imaginary is always good... because it looks beautiful and it is your imagination; it has nothing to do with the real person. You can decorate it the way you want, you can interpret it the way you want: you are utterly free.

With the real person there are problems; with the unreal person there are never any problems. That's why when you are in love with somebody only in the mind is it always great. There are never lows, it is 1/08/07

Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

Query:-

always high... because it is your imagination!

Have you heard about one story? A woman dreamt that Prince Charming came on his horse and took her up on the horse. They galloped off together and went far away, far away. The woman asked, 'Where are we going?' The prince said, 'It is your dream -- how am I supposed to know? You tell me!'

When it is your dream you can manage it any way you want. That's how reality is always very very hard and harder on people who live in fantasies. When they come against the real person they are surprised: this is not the person they have been thinking about, this is not the situation they have been hankering for, this is not the affair that they were dreaming of; this is something else. It falls too low beneath their idea... and again there is dissatisfaction.

You decide. If you want to be with [your boyfriend], then be with him totally. If you don't want to be with Amitabh then have courage, come out of it, but that too will be possible if you give a chance for your love to come to a fulfilment. It is just lingering.…

You don't allow him to be totally in it. He can be: he has no other idea in his mind. You are fortunate in that way. He has no other woman in his mind so it is possible for the love to become total.

And this always happens to one partner or the other: mm? if the man has some woman in his mind then you will drop this man from your mind. You will start

clinging to Amitabh like a creeper because then you will become afraid. Now you are very at ease, very comfortable: you know you can always fall back on Amitabh, he is there, he is your shelter. Now you can roam around a little bit. If he starts looking for some other woman (chuckling) -- and if you don't listen to me, I will make him -- then you start clinging to him, you will become afraid. You will not think of the imaginary, you will think of the real, because this too is going to become imaginary soon.

But he loves you totally, he has no other mind... hence he feels hurt. And his hurt is not of possessiveness, remember. He feels hurt because he feels that he is guilty, he is preventing you; it is because of him that you are not able to go to somebody you would like to. Deep down he loves you so much that he would like to give you all freedom. It is not possessiveness, he is not angry with you. He understands --

what can you do? He feels great compassion for you, he would like to help in every way: even if it creates suffering for him he would like to help you.

So it is basically your problem, and my suggestion is try total love for at least two, three months. Be utterly in it, explore all nooks and corners of it and all possibilities. Either you will go into it very very deeply and will become centred and these fantasies will disappear, or you will be finished with it. You will say, 'This is not for me.' Then you will not say 'I love Amitabh.' You will be ready to move with somebody else. And I am not against anything: if you want to move with somebody else I am not against it. What I am against is this being partial, this being non-total.

Try! Just tell [your boyfriend] 'For two months I will love you totally.'-And be really in a kind of mad love. In the beginning it will look a little foolish too, but you can manage! Be in love again, be on a honeymoon again, as if you have found Amitabh for the first time. And in fact everybody is so new every day that it is just nonsense to think 'This is old -- I know him'.… Nobody knows: everybody is changing so fast. Just tell him that for two months you are going; to love him totally. For two months be really in it.

Those two months will be very decisive: they will make you mature, more understanding. And anything that comes out of that total experiment will be good. Either you stay with [him] or we invite the other person... but two months, mm? Good!

The Open Secret

Chapter #24

< Previous | Contents | Next >