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‌CHAPTER 5

5 December 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Antar means inner, ayan means dimension – inner dimension. An evolution is nothing but evolution in the inner, in the interior. Evolution is a kind of interiority. The rock is there; it has no interior. It is all outside, it has no inside. There is no depth in it. It has no centre within it, the centre is missing. It has no secret life: all is exhibited. Whatsoever it is, it is there. It is public, hence it has a kind of vulgarity. It is all on exhibition. The rock is absolutely extrovert; it knows nothing of introversion. It has no subjectivity.

Then there is a rose flower. It has something inner. It has grown; evolution has happened. The rose is not just on the outside – something from the inner is illuminating it. It has depth, the rock has only thickness. The rose petals are not thick, very thin, but they have depth. When you look at the rose flower, it is not all on the outside. Something is hidden, something is there – a kind of secret. The rose is not naked as the rock. It has a personality. Very rudimentary, very primitive, but evolution has started.

Then there is a peacock or a dove or a parrot. Now, it is very very clear that they have an inner life. When you look at a parrot, she also looks at you; the rose cannot look at you. When you look at a peacock, the peacock is not just an object. The peacock has its own presence; it has subjectivity.

With the rock you can relate only as ‘I-it’. with the rose you will be ambiguous about whether to use ‘I-it’ or ‘I-thou’. But with the peacock you cannot use ‘it’. The relationship cannot be of ‘I-it’, it can only be ‘I-thou’.

This is how evolution goes on. In the man immense subjectivity happens. Man is only very little on the outside; just the tip of the iceberg is on the outside, the whole iceberg is inner. That’s why man is unpredictable, that’s why man seems to be beyond scientific approach – because science can study the rock perfectly well, but with man something is so hidden, so private, so personal, that

it cannot be objectified. And if you dissect man he becomes a rock. Then the innermost has flown away. Then it is only a cage; the bird is no more there. When you look at a man, his body is just the door and he has many mansions inside which only become available not through knowledge but through love.

This is the fourth point of evolution and the fifth is Christ or Buddha. That means everything has become inner, the outside has disappeared completely. Just as the rock is only outside, a Buddha is only inside. Evolution has gone to the highest peak and all becomes inner. If you see the Buddha from the outside, you have not seen him, you have not seen him at all, because he is not there. He can be found only in the innermost core of his being. He has a great secret in him. That secret is the ultimate goal of evolution, and one arrives at it only as one goes inward.

That is the meaning of your name: Antar Ayan – the inner direction, the inner dimension. Go on moving into it. In twenty-four hours many times you are just like a rock, because the rock is still in you. Sometimes you are like a rose flower; the rose flower is still in you. Sometimes you are like a peacock and sometimes you are like a man.

Sannyas is the beginning – a provocation, an invocation, to start becoming a Buddha or a Christ sometimes too. Sometimes it will happen only for moments, but those moments are the only precious moments; they bring meaning to life and significance. By and by, once you know the highest possibility, you start dropping the lower possibilities, because your whole energy starts moving towards the higher. One day comes when all your outside disappears, because the energy that was involved there is no more there; it has started moving inwards.

That day is the day of enlightenment – when the outside becomes your inside, when the division disappears, when you don’t have any periphery but only the centre.

[A sannyasin says: I have a lot of nervous anxiety. I can’t concentrate on anything. I’m eating a lot, and I feel as if I’m trying to grab bold of something all the time.

Osho checks her energy.]

You do one thing – it is very simple: for one month eat as much as you want. No control. I need a few fat people also around me. You can become really good – I see the potential!

(To the photographer) Take a photograph before and after! It will be really great. If you really can go into it you can defeat all the fat people around here! So for one month you are completely allowed to eat as much as you can; don’t fight with it.

And I don’t see that there is much problem.You simply cannot enjoy life easily; you want some

trouble. Without trouble you feel a little empty, and that’s what is happening; that’s why you have started eating. Here there is no trouble, and that’s why you want something to hold on to: you need some trouble. So I will create trouble – eat as much as you can! You will have enough trouble to hold on to.

You simply need some trouble. When things are going perfectly well you become a little disturbed. You cannot allow yourself happiness. Maybe for your whole life you never allowed it. You have a

certain allergy towards happiness... many people have. They feel very very in tune with misery, and when there is no misery they have to create some, otherwise they don’t feel in tune. When they are happy they are almost uprooted. They don’t know what to do now, because when there is a problem you have something to do; when you don’t have a problem there is nothing to do.

That’s why I have been creating problems for you sometimes, because I have been observing that you need a few problems. And I will go on creating them if you don’t stop it. Once you start enjoying, then there will be no problems given to you, otherwise I will go on – throwing you from one room to another and from one job to another.… But that’s what you demand! You will have to give me proof that you can permit yourself to be happy. And such a simple thing, permitting yourself to be happy, but I understand, it is very difficult to do. It takes years for people to learn how to permit themselves. Happiness is not difficult; permission is difficult.

And when you are happy you look foolish. Happiness has something intrinsic in it which looks like foolishness. When you are miserable you look very analytical, knowledgeable. Challenge is there and you are doing this and that. When you are happy you are simply foolish. So only fools are happy; wise people are unhappy. So eat well! Mm? Create some trouble!

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