20

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‌CHAPTER 20

23 December 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says she is continually making plans, having dreams, and how to stop?]

I will stop it; you just go on making, mm? They were there in the unconscious. That’s why I have given you the name, so that you become conscious about them. Once you become conscious about something which has been unconscious, it starts surfacing, and by surfacing it is released from your being. So it is a catharsis that is happening, that you are planning and planning and planning. Mm? once you have planned many things, the very idea of planning will evaporate one day and from that day you will be free from it. One has to go beyond planning because planning is not life; it is a way of missing life.

It has been there so it has to be brought up. But it will go. This is the way it goes, so you are on the right track; nothing to be worried about. And don’t repress it, otherwise it will remain. Enjoy it! Mm? just sit silently and plan every kind of thing. Let it be your meditation, and within a few months it will be gone. When it goes you will be left in such a silence unlike you have ever known before... the silence that comes after the storm.

This planning will stir your whole being. You will become so occupied; it will be a storm. Once it is finished, great silence will be left behind, and that silence is more valuable than any silence that we can bring to our being, because whatsoever we bring remains something imposed, artificial, cultivated. One should always rely on something that comes on its own. So you plan and the silence will come.

[A sannyasin says: I’m in this incredible confusion. It just drives me crazy that I never loved in my life. It feels I can’t do any work that is to do with people if I am like that.]

CHAPTER 20.

... Perfection, and that is your disease. That’s what Gurdjieff used to call the chief characteristic, that is your obsession: to become perfect. You have to drop that obsession. Nobody can be perfect here. Nobody needs to be perfect. Perfection is death, imperfection is open... one grows.

Now about love also you have a perfect ideal that it should be like that, and it is not like that so you are miserable. Drop all ideals. Whatsoever is possible is good. And remember that we are limited so there will be a limit to our love, there will be a limit to everything that we do and everything that we are. And the paradox is: when you accept your limitations and you live joyously with your limitations, one day suddenly they start disappearing. That is the way to go beyond limitation. But one cannot deliberately make life perfect. Life is perfect. You have to be non-tense.

Now, you must have been creating some impossible idea about love, that love has to be like that. Don’t listen to my definitions of love, mm? – they will confuse you. If you listen to my definitions of love then you will be confused; then you will think, ‘I have never loved.’

[She answers that what she thought was love was just in her head.]

So perfectly good; let it be there! You again create another ideal that it has not to be there.

Where do you want your love? – in the legs? (much laughter) That is perfectly good! Where do you want your love?

You have a good empty head, so it resides there. If it goes into the heart it will create heart trouble!

Let it be wherever it is. That’s what I am saying, that whatsoever it is, wherever it is, it is good. Enjoy it – small or big, enjoy it. Accept yourself totally as you are and forget about improving, forget about perfecting, and then all is well. Nothing has ever been wrong... and [you are] a Buddha from the very beginning.

Mm, now again here you saw [that other] people... were not asking questions so you thought that it is better not to ask.You had this problem inside. There is no need to do what others are doing; do

your thing! If you hadn’t done what you intended you would have felt miserable later, that you had come to say something and...

Just listen to your own being, follow your own being and be natural. And I don’t see that there is anything wrong. I can certify you: you are perfectly well.

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