27

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‌CHAPTER 27

27 August 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin who is leaving asks if it is okay for her not to be in a relationship. She also says she can feel Osho inside and is confused because he is outside.]

I understand... I understand. It will be happening to many many sannyasins soon. It is something very significant and you are fortunate to be feeling that. Many many will be feeling this problem sooner or later, because they will start finding me inside them. Then looking at me outside they will be puzzled. What is true? – am I inside them or outside them? If I am outside, then how can I be inside, and if I am inside how can I be outside?

But this is a great experience. That’s exactly how it is: I am both. And my whole effort here is to make you ready so that you can find me within yourself. Soon you will start finding that outside is just a reflection of the inside – not otherwise.

First you will think that the inside is just an image of the outside, but finally you will find the outside is just an image of the inside. It is as if you are standing before a mirror: you see yourself in the mirror outside and you know all the time that you are inside yourself.

So my body is simply functioning as a mirror: what is inside, you will see reflected through my body outside. But there is no problem to be worried about; one should be happy about it. Start seeing me inside more and more. This is something fantastic!

And about the first thing: it will be good for you to stay alone. Right now, if you stay alone you will be more with me. If you start falling into a relationship something that is growing inside will be disturbed. It happens every day here: when people are meditating they are more with me. Sooner or later they find their lovers; then they are not so much with me. They have their own private world and their own private concept; I am on the periphery. Then when they have some problems they

will come to me. When their relationship is not going right they will come to me, but when it is going right they tend to forget me. That’s natural.

But right now it will not be good to get involved in any relationship. Something so delicate is arising in you that it will be disturbed by any rough relationship... and it is going to be rough! Any ordinary relationship is a rough relationship. It brings all the problems with it – all the anxieties, conflicts, anger, sadness. Yes, there are a few moments of joy too but those are few and far between. It is more or less a dark night. Just somewhere once in a while a lamp is lit and then it disappears again and there is darkness.

But right now something so precious is growing in you that you cannot afford rough relationships. So wait: let this become more stabilised, let this become more crystallised. Then you can move in a relationship and then the relationship will be totally different, because I will be relating through you. Then it will have a totally different quality: it will be for the first time what love should be. And you will find a totally different kind of person to fall in love with – somebody who is very close to me, as close as you, only then will it fit, otherwise not.

So wait... meditate, mm? And keep me in your womb as long as you can. Whenever you are sitting, just close your eyes and see me in your womb. Let me be there and let this child grow. You are pregnant with me, that’s what it is. It is very good!...

Continue to meditate: use these three months [you are away] for completely getting in tune with me. And don’t be distracted by any so-called relationship. Ordinarily I never say to anybody to avoid relationships, because they have nothing to lose so why not have fun? it is okay. In fact if they are not in relationship I help them to go into one because without those troubles they start feeling depressed. They need some misery so they remain occupied. They are feeling that they are doing something great, something great is happening. At least there is hope, and they live with that hope. And when there is nothing to do it is perfectly good to be in any kind of relationship, it is fun, but when something higher is happening it is very very costly.

So be a celibate for these three months at least, and then when you come, we will see, mm? Good!

[A sannyasin, newly returned from the West, says he spent a lot of time with his mother and brother, and much hatred and judging came up about them, though they get along okay.]

I understand. My feeling is that you had around you a certain curtain of indifference which has dropped. You have become more caring about them, hence all that was repressed in your childhood is coming up. It has been there but there was a curtain.

That curtain we have to create: everybody has to create a curtain otherwise it is so uncomfortable to be fighting continuously with your parents, with your siblings. One creates a kind of cloud of indifference, of non-caring around oneself. Then it is okay if the mother is doing some wrong; that’s her business. Who bothers? If she is committing a mistake, that is her business. Who bothers?

Now that curtain has dropped, and it is good that it has dropped so that you can see things more clearly. Now something can be done and these things can also be dropped, but first the curtain has to be dropped. That has happened; now a little conscious effort and all these hangovers can be dropped.

Each child feels resentful, and each child goes on watching the parents – particularly the mother because she is ninety percent of the parent. The father is at the most ten percent or not even that much. The mother has to bring up the child and she has to teach the child – that this is right and that is wrong. The judgement comes from the mother. The child goes on watching – and children are very perceptive. He goes on observing that there seems to be a double standard. When he does something he is wrong, and when the mother herself is doing the same thing, she is right. If he lies, he is wrong. He goes on checking on the mother... and she is lying many times in the day, so he goes on seeing the double-bind. But he is helpless. He cannot assert himself; he cannot say anything. Even if he tries to, he is beaten into silence.

So that remains there in the unconscious; it is like a wound. When you become a little more powerful, independent... And that’s what is happening to you: you are becoming more mature, more independent, more yourself, so now all those wounds will come in. They have to be healed.

So you have just to understand them and to understand what the matter is. It is just an old hangover. You have not yet been able to forgive your mother for all those things that she has done to you and which you never felt were justified. You always thought they were unjust, but because she was powerful you had to yield.

Now you need not yield; you can take vengeance. You can tell her that this is wrong, that is wrong and you can say to her, ‘Now, see who is right and what is right.’

Just try to see it; deep down in yourself observe it. Something like Fischer-Hoffmann therapy will be good... will be very helpful. Have you done it before ?

That will be very good – the right process for you at this moment. [Osho refers him to a sannyasin who is a Fisher-Hoffman therapist.]

So she can be helpful. She is a Fischer-Hoffmann therapist; she will be helpful. And you will enjoy it. This is the right moment. It cannot help everybody, mm? but you have already done more than half the work so immediately there will be great revelation through it. But you have to come to a point where you can forgive.

The day a man can forgive his parents is a great day. That day he really becomes free. If you cannot forgive, you remain dependent. You cannot forgive because you still feel dependent. A really mature person can understand that the mother was not personally responsible for whatsoever she was doing. The same was done by her mother to her; she was just a poor victim as you are. She must be still as resentful towards her mother as you are towards her. The mother may be dead, the mother’s mother may be dead... that does not matter.

Just a few months ago there was an old woman here. She is nearly sixty-five. She has children and the children have children and she is still resentful of the mother who is dead! And she wants to get rid of it. Now it is really a problem: at the age of sixty-five or seventy she still feels angry. That means she has not grown up at all. Physically she is seventy; mentally she must be somewhere around the age of seven, not more than that.

Once you understand that nobody is personally responsible... Whatever your mother has done to you, whatsoever, good or bad... And there are a thousand good things that she has done and a thousand bad things that she has done, but she is not personally responsible. She was simply repeating a conditioning; she was simply doing what was done to her. You are fortunate that you can get out of that vicious circle – she was not that fortunateThen great compassion will arise.

And once you have forgiven her, you will be able to help her too. You can explain to her the whole process of how you could forgive her and maybe she can forgive her motherand that will be a

great change in her life. Then she can die as a mature person. Then life has been meaningful. One has gained something out of life, otherwise nothing is gained.

So something good is going to happen; you will just have to work it out. And Fischer-Hoffmann is the right thing to do.…

I think you can do one group here – rebirthing; it will be good.

[A sannyasin asks about an illness he has had for twenty years. He started with pains in his right side which spread into the joints... sometimes he is unable to walk, but it comes and goes. The doctors do not know what it is, but suggested rheumatism. Osho checks his energy.]

No, it has nothing to do with rheumatism – not at all. In fact you don’t need any treatment for it; [ashram hypnotherapist] will do something.

(To the hypnotherapist who is present) just give him a good suggestion. It is just in his mind. Your body is perfectly okay; it has just got into your mind. And because it has been happening for so long, twenty years, it has become a very deep-rooted suggestion. You just need to go into deep hypnosis and things will change. But drop the idea of rheumatism; it is nothing to do with it, mm? This is not the energy of a rheumatic person... no!...

Nothing to be worried. Just talk to [the hypnotherapist], mm? – things will be okay. And just enjoy and forget. You have just to forget this disease; there is nothing much to it.

[The sannyasin asks: But if I’m doing the Kundalini.]

No, don’t do it; whatsoever gives you pain don’t do. Just be here and enjoy being here. And whatever [the hypnotherapist] suggests, do it. Stop all meditations for a few days because they are all physical and you have that idea inside you; that idea will function. First the idea has to be uprooted, then you will be able to do all the meditations.

You can become the greatest meditator around here!

[A sannyasin says he has much pressure in his chest since seven years. He has done much therapy for it. Sometimes in meditation it dissolves but then returns.]

... My feeling is that it has something to do with your body. Your posture looks as if you are... compressed. So the posture has to be changed. You can do a few things on your own to change the posture. You may have got into the habit now after so many years, and if the body posture remains wrong it will be very difficult to change it. The body functions as the base.…

Mm mm... it will go. And have you ever been interested in running or anything like that?... [The sannyasin replies: Recently I started playing tennis.]

No, that won’t help; that is too bourgeois. No. Running can help, running can really help; it can really release you. Swimming can help.…

Anything when you have to breathe more or anything in which the body has to take another posture and you cannot remain in the same posture. In running, in swimming, you cannot remain in the same posture. Anything in which the posture has to change automatically and anything that is very dynamic and in which the total body is involved will be helpful.

So my feeling is that you should do running, swimming, and take the whole course of rolfing, ten sessions. And take it from a really sadistic rolfer!...

Really sadistic, someone who enjoys torturing people. Mm? you need a little torture!...

And it is just a postural thing – I don’t see that your mind has anything much to do with it. It is good that it is a posture thing because it can be easily changed. Maybe it is in the mind a little bit but once the posture has completely changed your mind will easily drop it; your mind is ready to drop it. So continue meditations, take rolfing, and start running, swimming. If it is difficult then jogging is good.

[The sannyasin then says that he has been smoking a lot since he was thirteen. He tried stopping but is not really interested to stop.]

That may be part of this whole thing; that too is repressive. In fact, smoking is a strategy to repress something. If you don’t smoke that something starts becoming restless: through smoking you can repress it again. That’s why people smoke more when they are restless. When they feel more nervous, when they feel that something is arising, they will immediately start drugging themselves. That drugging helps to stop something, but stopped, it is there and goes on accumulating.

Do one thing: don’t stop smoking right now – because that will not help and you will again smoke. Do one thing: breathing. Whenever you have an urge to smoke, make it a point that first you have to breathe deeply for five minutes. Start by exhaling: exhale deeply. Inhale deeply, exhale deeply, but the emphasis should be on exhalation more than on inhalation. Mm? the whole air has to be thrown out. Just squeeze the whole system so all the air is out. Do this for five minutes before each cigarette.…

You have to pay the price for each cigarette, mm? – that is five minutes of deep breathing. If after that five minutes the desire, the urge disappears, there is no need to smoke; if the urge remains, you can smoke. And this will help – this will help in many ways...

Firstly, out of one hundred times, seventy-five times the desire will disappear. Good breathing will give you such a good feeling that you will not feel like smoking. You will feel so happy and so full of vitality, you will not feel like smoking.

In fact breathing does just the opposite, because through breathing you take in more oxygen. The system functions on a higher plane, on a higher altitude with more oxygen, and you feel more vital.

The blood circulates better, the blood is purified better. The whole system functions at the maximum. With smoking you go on dumping carbon dioxide inside the system: the system falls to the minimum. It is just the opposite.

And once you are enjoying five minutes breathing you will not feel the urge. That urge always comes when you are not enjoying life; if you are enjoying something you can forget cigarettes. If you are looking at a movie and you are really into it, you will not smoke. If you are listening to music and you are really into it you will forget. In anything in which you get involved and in which you are happy you will not smoke. You will smoke only when you are not feeling in tune so you want something to do – smoking.

Either the desire will not come... Then there is no need, don’t force yourself and feel that you have to smoke because you have earned it by five minutes breathing.And if the desire remains smoke.

Tell me after one week, for one week do this experiment.…

Continue this breathing back home. And through breathing smoking can be dropped very easily. But there is no need to directly drop it; it will disappear automatically. Take rolfing back home and start running or swimming.

Swimming is very good – nothing like it; it is very meditative. I have done every kind of thing but nothing like swimming. My own practice was to go swimming for at least four to six hours every day. At four o’clock in the morning I would disappear and I would come back home only after six hours in the river.

It is tremendously beautiful – you can go for miles. You can float you can swim and.And water

is the basic element; life came out of water. In water you are very free and weightless. Gravitation functions less, and that is one of the most beautiful things in water. Ordinary gravitation is no more functioning, and that changes your whole system – the pressure.

You are under pressure; that pressure will be relieved by swimming. It will go.

[A sannyasin who has completed individual primal therapy says: I was very resistant but at least I feel good because for the first time I did the therapy for myself and not for the therapist.]

That’s very good! That’s how it should be. Sometimes it happens, but very rarely – otherwise patients are very very willing to help the therapist and they are ready to make him feel good and happy! One need not do that. The therapist has not paid you; you have paid the therapist!

It happens, even with ordinary physical illness it happens: when the doctor comes the patient smilesjust to help the poor chap feel good!

[The hypnotherapy group is present. One participant says they have much energy around the mouth and hands, which feels stuck. Osho checks his energy.]

It is thereIt has something to do with breast feeding. Your mother must have deprived you much,

so whenever you relax it comes again. Whenever a child is fed by the mother on the breast he almost

immediately relaxes and goes to sleep. So those two things are related together – relaxation... In fact, the best way for the child to relax is to be on the mother’s breast; almost always he falls asleep then and there. Both needs are fulfilled – food, love, the warmth of the mother – and he is simply in the womb again.

Your mother must have deprived you. In the west it is happening too much. Mm? no mother really wants the child to be breast-fed; there is too much fear that the shape, the size and the breasts’ beauty will be lost. So it is there.

Do one thing: if you have a girlfriend make it a point every night for half-an-hour to be on her breast. Forget yourself and become a small child. Just suck, and fall asleep. Within two, three weeks it will disappear, it will not take more.

If you don’t have a girlfriend, then find a pacifier. That is not as good – a pacifier is a pacifier – but it is better than nothing. Fill the bottle with lukewarm milk, suck the teat and go to sleep keeping it in your mouth. Then it will take six, seven weeks, mm? – just a little longer time, that’s all.

But if you have a girlfriend and if she is willing to help you... Girlfriends are not so easily helpful!... You don’t have any girlfriend here? You can just announce – somebody will help!...

Yes, you can just announce and somebody may be helpful... and somebody may be helped by it. Mm? – you can find somebody who wants to be a mother and who is hankering for a child; she will be helped by you. So it will be a mutual help – otherwise when you are back in munich you can do it there. Here you can do it with a pacifier, mm?

First try it here if it is possible, otherwise the pacifier. You go and find a good big bottle, mm? Good!

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