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‌CHAPTER 10

10 August 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A new sannyasin agrees to do the groups Osho suggests, but says she would like to travel around india first.]

I think the better course will be that first you be here and then travel...

First groups. Then you will have a better vision to see the country; you will have a better attitude. Otherwise you can go travelling.…

Yes, you will see the same things – nothing much. In fact you will see a very, very poverty-stricken country, starving, and you will feel only miserable, nothing else.

First go a little inwards, explore the inner country first, have something settled there, and then go. India has marly mysteries, but one needs eyes to see them. Otherwise you will see the buildings, and in the west better buildings exist. You will see the roads, and the west has better roads. Everything you see, the west has it better. And you will simply feel cheated: for what are you going here and there, travelling in crowded trains and suffering a thousand and one things unnecessarily ?

Once you have a meditative eye you will see something which does not exist in the west. Then you have come to this country.… It is disappearing from here too; the west is too overpowering. It is always so: the gross is more powerful than the subtle. If you clash a flower against a rock it is the flower who is going to lose, not the rock. And there is a clash between the spiritual values and the materialist values, and of course the spiritual values are going to suffer – they are suffering.

The East is no more east – only fragments here and there. Somewhere you will find a few people who are still eastern and a few places that are still eastern and a few spaces where you can have a contact with the real india... otherwise India is a legend, a myth. it is just a poor reflection of the

West. If you go right now you will find a poor reflection of the West, and of course, it is better to see the original than to see the reflection; the reflection is meaningless.

So first attain to a certain vision, a different kind of approach, a different way of looking at reality. And then I will tell you to go; then I will tell you where to go, because just travelling anywhere is of no meaning.

And the tourists go on going to places wherever guides lead them; they will take you to the tourist places.

Mm mm, so just wait. Let me be your guide, and when you are ready I will tell you to go. You will be here for one year so there is no hurry, mm? First be here, get in tune with things here, get ready. Learn the language, the language of the heart, the language of intuition – little glimpses. Then you will be able to go and I will tell you where to go.

Yes, hidden somewhere still, the undercurrent exists but it is no more apparent, it is no more on the surface. It has gone underground – it had to go underground. On the surface it will be killed and destroyed. It cannot survive there; it can survive only in hiding.

So I will send you to the places where it is hiding, the real India, and then something will be of meaning, significance, and it will help your transformation.…

[A new sannyasin says he would very much like to find love. He feels that he was never loved and he could never love. Even though he is sixty-two years old he would like to know love before he dies.]

That will be possible. Age makes no difference.…

If you become open it is always possible. You could not find love because you remained closed. You were hankering for it but you were too proud to say so... and love needs surrender. When you fall in love even with an ordinary woman she becomes a goddess. She has to be revered, only then does love flow. Because we are too proud love doesn’t happen. But it is possible, it is always possible.

Just relax here, and this sannyas will be a beginning. Relax amidst my people. They are all loving people – you cannot find a more loving atmosphere anywhere. And they have no taboos, no inhibitions; they are very, very primal and innocent people. They have not heard about moses and the ten commandments! Just relax! And don’t say to anybody that you are sixty-two – you don’t look it! Good.

[A new sannyasin says he is not sure he’s going to wear orange and the mala when he’s back home... but he felt a strong emotional push to take sannyas.]

If it is emotional, if it is from your heart, then what is the problem ? You can wear orange there. Otherwise from the very beginning you are playing a cunning trick. The mind is divided from the very beginning... and nothing will happen out of it!...

Nothing will happen out of it because you are not a sannyasin at all. If you are already decided in the mind that when you go back home you need not wear orange, you need not wear a mala...

With the ‘but’ is no sannyas. Sannyas knows no buts and no ifs.

No buts... sannyas knows no buts. It is better not to be a sannyasin. Just be here, enjoy, be free, do meditations, do the groups; there is no need to be a sannyasin. Because it is not only a question of you – I am taking a great responsibility with you, and if you are not totally in it then don’t waste my time.

You are not losing anything in it and I am taking a great responsibility. I am becoming responsible for you by giving you sannyas. Now I will be at stake with you: now your growth will be my problem and your need will be my need, and whenever you need me I have to rush to you.

But if you are from the very beginning in a deceptive mood, divided.… [The new sannyasin says: I think I am divided.]

Then drop it! There is no problem – just give it back... Yes, it is perfectly good. You give it back. [The now ex-sannyasin gives the mala back.]

No, you are not ready – and nothing is wrong.…

Just be here, enjoy here, and everything is available to you.But sannyas has to be a commitment.

The day you become a sannyasin, you have to make a commitment – that this is the way: now you are going to listen to me and whatsoever I say, even if it looks insane, you have to follow.

There is nothing special in the orange colour. It is just an indication that you are ready to become mad for me, that’s all...

You are ready to become mad for me, you are ready to be called crazy by other people. That much you are ready to take for my love, that’s all. Otherwise nothing. Just wait, mm? If you feel that you can remain a sannyasin there, only then. It is good... and don’t feel any problem with it. It is not wrong; it is better you have given it back right now.

[A sannyasin says: I’ve been meditating on my stupidity and lack of common sense but I’ve been enjoying it!]

Enjoy it! There is nothing else to do. If you enjoy it it will start disappearing. There is nothing like humour about oneself. It certainly transforms – humour about oneself. If you can laugh about your own stupidities you start growing; you start becoming wiser.

The really stupid person is one who tries to hide his stupidity, tries to protect, rationalise, defend, fight for it; that is the really stupid person. The wise person is one who knows his stupidity, does not protect it, leaves it open in the light for everybody to see. And not only that: when others laugh, he joins with them! How long can this stupidity remain? It cannot remain: it is on the way to die. When you don’t pretend it cannot remain; your cooperation is a must.

This is very good, Pankaja. Just watch and enjoy. The mind is a monkey, and if you watch it is really beautiful. It is a free show, and there has never been such a beautiful story written. Nobody

can do that kind of stupid thing that the mind goes on doing. And if you simply watch, it is a great psychodrama. And just watching, watching, one day suddenly the monkey has disappeared... and [you are] left alone. When the monkey has disappeared, the world disappears!

[A visitor says: I used to follow guru Maharajji and I made a promise, I made a vow that I would follow him for the rest of my life. That promise still means something to me but I’d like to try your meditation.]

That vow will be standing as a barrier because with me either you are with me or not with me. You can try but it will be just so-so... it will not really be of much significance.

If you are feeling good with your vow and if you are growing, then there is no need to try. If you are feeling frustrated there, then one has to reconsider things, one has to have courage to reconsider things.

In fact the past binding, cannot be ultimately binding. If you find one day that you are not growing in a certain commitment – give it all that you can give but if you find that you are not growing, that something is missing, that you don’t fit or it does not fit with you – then one has to be courageous enough to come out of it.

Life is more valuable than your goal. And what does vow mean. It means that in a certain moment you felt that you were going to be this way for your whole life, but that is the feeling of a certain moment. It was true in that moment but who knows about the next moment?

It is just like falling in love with a woman: you say that you will be with her for your whole life or even if you have another life, you would like to have her as your beloved again. And these are not false words, you are not pretending: you are true, you are authentically so. This is your feeling.

Mm? Just now one man took sannyas but that was not authentic. He was taking sannyas and thinking to drop it; it is meaningless. And I don’t say that sannyas cannot be dropped, I don’t say that, but you should not carry that idea in the mind right now otherwise what is the point of taking it?

When you are taking it you will be totally in it and feeling that you are going to be with it for your whole life, but I don’t say that one day a situation cannot arise where you feel that you are no more growing. Then it has to be dropped! And there is no breach, no betrayal; it simply shows that in that moment you go very very emotionally into it. But you have not grown and now you are feeling like a prisoner: if you remain with it your growth suffers; if you get out of it, you feel guilty. But some decision has to be taken.

One day love happens, another day it disappears; what to do ? What is one supposed to do ? And of course you will remember your promises that you had given to the woman but what can you do now ? You were as helpless that time when you were in love as you are now to get out of it. You have to get out of it otherwise it will be an ugly relationship: you will carry on without love. You will go on pretending that you love this woman because in the past you have promised.

Just the other day I was reading a beautiful story. A jew was very ill. He was a very rich jew but he had never contributed, never donated a single pai. He was really on the death bed, and the

doctors told him that he could survive for three more days at the most. They said, ‘If you want to do something, do it; we cannot help you. Medicine has failed’.

So just out of desperation the man called the rabbi and told him ‘If you pray for me and if I survive, I am going to give you fifty thousand dollars for the new synagogue that you are going to build.’

The rabbi prayed continuously day and night for the three days. Fifty thousand dollars! – and this man has not even given a single pai to anybody ever! The man survived. One month passed and the rabbi tried diplomatically many times to remind him about those fifty thousand dollars, but he would not even listen! He would not even talk about it; he would avoid the subject.

Finally the rabbi was at a loss what to do. One day he said frankly, ‘Have you completely forgotten?! What about those fifty thousand dollars that you promised for the new synagogue? Now you are okay. The miracle happened – I prayed three days, day in, day out. I didn’t sleep.’

The old jew said, ‘What fifty thousand dollars? What are you talking about? Did I promise you? That simply shows how ill I was, that’s all. That simply shows how ill I was!’

There are moments when one is so ill that one can say ‘Fifty thousand dollars!’. There are moments when one gets too emotionally involved in a certain thing, and one can get into it. I am not saying that it is wrong to get into things: that’s how one lives life!

But this is meaningless. If you are being fulfilled I am the last person to take you out of it. Simply go into it, escape from here; these people may disturb you, you may get into some new thing. Just escape from here! If you are feeling fulfilled, if you are feeling you are growing, go and grow with all my blessings. But if you are feeling that nothing has happened and you have been just a victim, then get out of it! No past can be binding. Have the courage to get out of it. You have become wiser...

When did you promise? How many years ago? [He answers: Must be four or five years ago.]

Four or five years? That means you must have become a little wiser, more understanding, more alert. Just think of it in this way: if you meet your so-called guru maharajji for the first time today, are you going to take the vow? Just think of it that way. If you think that still you will take the vow, then it’s okay; then the vow is still valid. But if you think that if you meet him now you are not going to be caught in it, then the vow is invalid. You follow me?

It is simple, very simple – and always let it be a criterion even with me: if you become a sannyasin and after five years you feel that now if you meet me you will not become a sannyasin, then drop it immediately! It is finished! Never carry anything that you have outgrown, but if you feel that yes, you would still like to become a sannyasin, it is still alive. Then something is still possible, it is potential. Then go into it, go with it. Think about it .…

But if you really want to get into things here your vow will become a barrier. And I am not saying, not even hinting, that you break it. I am simply saying: you have to be very alert about what you are doing to your being. A vow cannot be binding; it cannot become an imprisonment for you – your

freedom remains intact. It was out of your freedom that you took the vow. You are still free: you can take it back.

If you feel that you can grow here, that you would like to go into things here, then drop that. Yes, you will feel a little disturbed – that too is childish; that too is a kind of guilt that society creates in people.

The past is no more! Live in the present and don’t think too much of the past because nothing is more valuable than freedom. Meditate over it. Mm? after three days write a letter to me. Good... good!

[Osho mentioned this sannyasin in a later discourse: Now he thinks he is being very religious because he goes on clinging to his promise. It is not religion – it is ego. Now he cannot accept the idea of dropping his promise because that hurts the ego. You are such a man of your word: once you have given your word you have to follow it! But this seems stupid!

That’s what I wanted to say to the young man who said he has promised to guru Maharajji. Why are you here? – there is no need. If you are really growing there, there is no need to be here. The very fact that you are here shows that you are searching. And now if you remain hooked with your so-called guru Maharajji, then there is no possibility; I cannot be of any help because you will not be able to take any help. Your heart will not be open, you will not become part of me... you will not come close.]

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