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‌CHAPTER 6

6 June 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says: Sometimes I wonder whether you’re real or not.]

Everything is unreal – I am too – because reality is not a thing. All things are unreal. Reality is a nothing, no-thing. Things are only appearances, forms of something which is formless. That formlessness is real but that cannot be seen by the eyes and cannot be touched and felt is unreal; it is all dream stuff – and I am included in it.

All that can be experienced is a dream. Only the experiencer is not a dream. I am just a dream to you, but the witness of the dream is not unreal. and the witness is one. that witness is called god. Everything else is fictitious.

The question is not strange; the question is worth asking. But when I say that I am unreal or when I say that everything is unreal, that does not mean that you can pass through the wall. That does not mean that you can jump off a mountain because the mountain is unreal and you are unreal.

By ‘unreal’ I mean as it appears to you – that appearance is unreal. For example, the wall, as it appears, is unreal. Ask the physicist, ask even the materialist: he says it is unreal because there is no solid wall, just electrons moving so fast that they give the appearance of a solid wall. But there is no solid wall, there is nothing solid. And an electron is nothing but a wave – not even a particle, but a wave. Out of those waves, which are immaterial, the solid wall is constructed. It looks solid to us because we cannot see deeply enough. And there is no way to see deeply enough, because whatsoever we see will remain on the surface.

Matter is unreal in that sense. It is all energy, and energy is just a concept. We say that this is electricity that is giving us light, but nobody has ever been able to define what exactly it is. We have

just notions about it – that it is something that is passing through the wires, coming to the bulb. But nothing is passing; it is not like a current, it is not like a river or a stream.

So whatsoever we see is unreal; and that which is real cannot be seen. Only one thing can be said with certainty and that is that the witness is not unreal. Even to witness unreality a real witness is needed. You may be just a fiction of my mind, I may be just a fiction of your mind, but even for the fiction to exist, somebody is needed deep inside me to see that fiction. That witness is not unreal; everything else is unreal.

And the whole search of religion is for that witness: how to find that which is real. And it is there in each experience – not as the experience but as the experiencer, not as the object but as subjectivity.

Soren Kierkegaard has said ‘Truth is subjectivity’. That’s exactly how it is. Objectivity is a lie, it is false. So when there is no thought, no experience, no object, no content in the mind, and your consciousness is just bare, naked, pure – pure of all content, just contentless, mirror mirroring nothing – then you know what is real. That mirror mirroring nothing is reality. For that one has to go deeper and deeper into one’s own being. There are layers and layers of many things; all those layers have to be eliminated.

When I say ‘all is unreal’ it is just a device to eliminate all those layers. Once it is said and understood that everything is unreal, one starts moving inwards; there is no point in moving outwards. Then it doesn’t make any difference whether you succeed in the outside world or you fail – all is unreal. Then it doesn’t matter much whether you have money or not. It doesn’t matter whether you are respected or not, whether you are known or you live an unknown life. Nothing matters.

If things are unreal then all is the same good dreams, sweet dreams or nightmares. Then nothing is moral and nothing is immoral. It gives a great freedom it gives great detachment, and one simply starts falling into one’s own inner abyss. One day one comes to the centre of it, the centre of all. That centre is real. In the East we have called that centre ‘brahma’, god, the absolute, or whatsoever name you want you can choose – call it the ‘soul’, the ‘truth’, ‘nirvana’, ‘enlightenment’.

Enlightenment is nothing but seeing this fact, that only one’s subjectivity is a certainty; everything else is unreal. You are – that is the only truth about which we can be absolutely certain.

Your question is relevant, meaningful. Now start asking ‘Who am I?’ Translate the question into ‘Who am I?’ and you will come to know one day what is real.

[A sannyasin is upset about leaving for the West.]

It is difficult to leave me but you are only leaving on the outside and that is not leaving at all. Now that contact has happened where I can be with you anywhere. You can call me anywhere and you will find me! So this trip will be a great experience. You will not miss me in your innermost core. Physically, of course, you will miss me, but that is not important. The most important thing is not to miss in the heart.

There are many people who are here, physically close, and still they are missing but are not even aware of it. Because if I am not in their hearts, then they are simply deceiving themselves that they are with me or I am with them.

To be physically here has no value. The value of physical presence is very very superficial. At the most it is just an occasion to allow the other contact to happen. Once that contact has happened you can be anywhere you can move to another planet, it won’t make any difference, it won’t create any distance. There is a closeness in which no space exists, no time either, and that is a real closeness, that is intimacy. And a disciple in love with the master attains to those plenitudes.

So this trip will be good – don’t be shaken by it. You will come back very very happy because you will know that now you cannot lose me, now there is no way to lose me. And that becomes a great strength – when you know that there is no way to lose me. Even by going far away you come and come closer and closer. That process has started, it has set in. So go happily, with great gladness and come back soon!

[A sannyas asks about sadness.]

A few things have to be understood.One: every man is sad, every woman is sad. Sadness is the

very situation of life. Sadness is not something like an accident – on the contrary, happiness is an accident. Sadness is very natural. There is a reason why it is so.

Man is the only animal who is aware, no other animal is aware. And awareness basically is awareness of pain – of illness, of disease. If you have a headache, you become aware that there is a headache and a head. If you don’t have a headache, awareness disappears. If your body is perfectly healthy you will not know that you have a body. In fact that is the definition of health in the eastern medical science: not to be aware of the body is the definition of health. An ill person cannot lose that awareness. If your leg is hurting you will be aware; if your stomach is in a cramp you will be aware. If your body is tired you will be aware. If your body is perfectly healthy you will forget all about the body. So awareness basically is awareness of the negative.

Man has awareness, so the first awareness that happens to man is of the negative. The second awareness has to be attained – that is of the positive. That is something to be earned; it does not happen of its own accord. And there is a third awareness which is beyond both: that is buddhahood.

Animals are not aware; their awareness is zero. Man is aware but the awareness is negative. Then there are happy people, cheerful people – their awareness is positive; that has to be earned. Very few people come to that. And even more rare is the third, where positive and negative both disappear. One simply is – neither sad nor happy, just calm and quiet and cool.

Awareness is the natural state of humanity; that is where you are. Don’t make much fuss about it – everyone is at that point. If you make much fuss about it, it becomes more difficult to get out of it. Rather than focussing your whole attention on it, try to find ways to get out of it. Whatsoever makes you happy, do it! And don’t be in any way inhibited.

My feeling is: because your love affair has dwindled, you are focussed on sadness and you are not gathering enough courage to move with somebody else. You go on clinging, you go on hoping, but the relationship has dwindled. And once a relationship has fallen flat it is very very difficult to help it to stand again. At the most it can walk but it will walk on crutches; it cannot dance. It is a broken mirror; you can glue it together but it can never be the same again. But there is no need to be worried, because so many other mirrors are available.

So the real problem is there. And there you are afraid – you are even afraid to move with somebody, to fall in some love, afraid that then you will lose [your husband] forever. So you are stuck. That is your choice. Love will make you a little happier than you are, a little less sad at least. And then you will again have a little thrill in life.

The positive awareness needs some work, and love is one of the greatest things that helps to bring it. So as much love as one can afford one has to go into. Creativity helps, small things help. Go and dance, sing, play some instrument, paint, or whatsoever work you are doing, put your total energy into it, pour yourself into it – these small things. And then small joys – meeting a friend, gossipping, chit-chatting, going to a musical concert... just small things.

But what happens is that when you are not in love all these things look futile. When you are in love all these things look meaningful. So love gives you the perspective, and that is missing. If love is missing you will become more and more sad, and the more sad you are, the more you will become unavailable to people. People won’t approach you because they want to love a happy person. Who wants to get involved with a sad and unhappy and heavy person? Nobody wants to – people are sad enough on their own. They want somebody who will bring a little cheerfulness in their life.

So there is a problem: when people are sad, nobody loves them, nobody approaches them; they repel people. When they repel people, they feel more sad; they think ‘Nobody loves me.’ But they are the cause of it! Why should anybody love you if you are sad? If he can find a better person, he will find a better person. If he cannot find anybody then onlySo you are becoming sad clinging to

a relationship which is no more there, still hoping against hope, becoming more and more miserable, and destroying all bridges to other people.

Open up all the doors. Love is good – with whom it happens doesn’t matter – because love gives you a jump into positive awareness. And with love many things start becoming meaningful. Then you can sing, you can dance, you can go out. Your life starts moving; there is something to look forward to and everything fits together. Love functions as a centre and all the pieces that were falling apart suddenly are no more falling apart; they become one unity. Love becomes a magnetic force and everything comes together. That togetherness is positive.

And only after that can you relate with me; only then can trust towards me arise in you, not before it. Only love can make you capable of going into a higher kind of love which is trust. Otherwise you will doubt, you will distrust. A sad person Cannot trust. So awareness one – that is negative awareness – cannot trust, it can only doubt. Awareness two can trust, it cannot doubt. And because it can trust, awareness becomes possible. To relate to me you will need to create the second; that is missing, so between me and you there is a gap.

You have to understand it and you have to take the responsibility... unless you choose to be miserable; then there is no problem. Don’t make any fuss about it; that is your work, that is your painting. Some people paint just sad paintings; that is their work. Some people simply compose sad and dull music.such music that it reminds you of death, not of life. Some people always sing

sad songs, but that’s their choice. Then don’t be worried about it – it is perfectly okay. Then become the most miserable person here. Never be second – why should you be? At least people will say ‘[She] is the first! Nobody can compete with her.’

Or if you want to get out of it, take the responsibility this is your choice. Start moving with people, start becoming a little cheerful, start playing games of love again. These are games but it is better to play them than to be negative. If one has to dream, why not dream beautiful dreams? Why get hooked with nightmares?

And then you start thinking a thousand and one things – that trust is not arising and meditation is not happening and this is not happening and that is not happening. Only one thing is not happening and that is: you are not gathering enough courage to create a new relationship in your life. And

I am not saying that a relationship will not bring misery, but at least that misery will have some moments of happiness in it.

Right now you are in pure misery. But somewhere deep down you are enjoying this misery. You are creating it in the hope that [your ex-boyfriend] will think ‘How [she] is suffering!’ and he will sympathise, he will start loving you again as he used to. You are calculating absolutely wrongly. Nobody loves a miserable person – that’s an absolute principle. People can sympathise but sympathy is not love, and it doesn’t satisfy. It hurts, it wounds. To be in a situation where people have to sympathise with you is not a good situation; it is humiliating.

So this is exactly what the case is with you. I have put it plainly. I may even look hard to you, mm? because you come for consolation. But I cannot console you because I never help any negative state. This is simply ugly – drop it! Get out of it! Start moving and again singing, again dancing and again fooling around. That will give you more positivity, and only out of that will trust towards me arise. Only loving people, people who are in love, will be able to look at me, to connect themselves with me.

So start from this moment, mm? That’s exactly what I mean – ‘fooling around’. And right now you are looking happy – just at the idea of it! (laughter)

[Another sannyasin says: I don’t know which way inside is.]

Just allow it to happen. That question is irrelevant, because inside is not any direction – neither north nor south nor east nor west, neither up nor down. And there is no way to it; it is already where we are. It is not really a movement from ‘a’ to ‘b’. It is just a recognition, a remembrance. It is just awareness arising in you and seeing the fact that you have always been here – you had never left this space for a single moment. In fact, you cannot leave it, there is no way to leave it. You had just fallen asleep.

In the morning when you wake up, it is the same place – the same room, the same bed in which you had fallen asleep. From sleep to waking there is no distance, no physical distance. You don’t travel it, you don’t have to take a vehicle. When you open your eyes you suddenly know you have been here the whole night, although you dreamed of a thousand and one things and in those dreams you moved to faraway places. But even when you were in your dream in faraway places, you were here in this room, on this bed, under this sheet, under this blanket. So when you wake up in the morning, you don’t ask ‘How did I arrive in Poona from Peking? – because I was dreaming of Peking.’ It was just a dream – you never left the place.

That’s how it is: we are there, we are it, the inside. So it is not a question of which way to move, from where to move, what direction to take. All that is needed is an awakening, a remembrance, and that is happening slowly. The sleep is getting thinner and thinner, and when the sleep gets thinner and thinner and you are just hanging in between – a few dreams, fragments of the dreams, are still floating around and you have also started hearing sounds from the outsideThe milkman

is at the door talking to your wife and the children are getting ready to go to the school, and the wife is preparing the breakfast, and the sounds from the kitchen, and even the smell.Still fragments

of the dream are floating about – you are neither awake nor asleep, just in between. That is the situation where you are. And then this question arises: now what to do? which way to take? in what direction to move? No, it is not a question of direction – it is just opening your eyes. It is just a remembrance.

It is happening! Just go on doing whatsoever you are doing, because when it starts happening that simply shows that whatsoever you are doing is right. So go on doing it. Go on digging in the same way and sooner or later more awareness will become available.

And there comes a moment when the eyes open and you are no more asleep. But then you will know that this is not a new space. It is the old space with a new vision, the old space with a new awarenessa new insight, but the space is the ancient one.

But things are going well – just continue. Good.

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