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‌CHAPTER 16

16 June 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine, neelambar means blue light – divine blue light. And the blue light represents infinity; it is the colour of the infinite, the colour of the sky. It is not really a colour. The sky has no colour; it appears blue because of its infinity. The sheer vastness, the depth makes it appear blue. And when one reaches inwards, moves deeper into one’s being, another sky opens its doors – vaster than the outer one, of infinite depth.

Mahavira has the right term for it he calls it ‘infinitely infinite’. The outer sky is only infinite; its infinity is flat, one-dimensional. The inner sky is infinitely infinite; it is multi-dimensionally infinite. But only experience can reveal it, and one who has entered the inner sky has known what god is. It is another name for god – the inner sky – and a far more beautiful name, with no connotations of religion, theology, church, with no connotations of the past, more true to reality, closer to reality – that is the meaning of neelambar.

Neel means blue, ambar means light. And you have to think about it; you have to get in tune with blue. Watch the sky, watch the river, the ocean... natural blue. Wherever you find natural blue, watch it. Meditate over it, fall in tune with it, let it possess you, be overwhelmed by it, and slowly slowly you will see something happening in you.

Carl Gustav Jung stumbled upon a very ancient truth. He used to call it he found a new name for it ‘synchronicity’. It is a non-causal principle. It is of great importance. If you meditate on blue, something of the blue arises in you. It is not caused by the outside blue. It is simply provoked, not caused. It is parallel to it, not caused. There is no cause-effect relationship; there is no relationship at all. It is just that the vibration of blue outside stirs your inner potential of blue. The outer functions as a catalytic agent, and suddenly you start moving into the inner sky, you are in the grip of it.

So first meditate on the sky with open eyes, and when you start feeling that you are falling into

synchronicity, slowly close your eyes and let the blue arise in you. Soon you will see that you can go on seeing the sky inside too. And that sky contains this sky.

Man is small if you look at his body, at his mind. Man is infinite if you look at his soul, his being.

Chetan means conscious, premo means love – conscious love. The ordinary love, the so-called love, is unconscious love. That’s why it is said that you ‘fall’ in it; it is a fall. The conscious love is a rise; you are uplifted by it. The unconscious love takes you to the lowest possibility of your energy. That too is beautiful – nothing is wrong in it, because the lowest is part of you, as much as the highest – but the lowest is dark, dismal, and it has much potential for misery. Because it is unconscious it can’t be blissful. You can attain to a few moments of bliss but they will remain momentary and fleeting. They will just come as glimpses and will be gone before you can take hold of them. Before you have even lived them, they are already gone.

Hence, unconscious love creates much misery. It gives great hope and great frustration, promises much, but never is it fulfilled. It can’t be fulfilled by the very nature of consciousness. It is not a fault of love – love can fulfill all the promises – but the companionship with the unconscious is the problem.

It is as if a diamond has fallen into the mud: you cannot even see the diamondness of it only mud all around. Not that the diamond has become mud – it cannot; it remains a diamond, but now it is no more visible. Once in a while maybe a certain ray of the sun penetrates the mud and a little glimmer is there; from a certain angle you can see some colour, but that’s all.

That’s what happens in ordinary love: great dark nights and once in a while, far and few in between, just a little star... and that too looks illusory because it is so fleeting. But nothing is wrong with love; love has to join hands with consciousness. It has to drop its companionship with unconsciousness, it has to divorce unconsciousness.

And that’s the whole spiritual work: how to take your love from the hold of the unconscious. Once your love has become conscious you start rising; you are being uplifted. Then there is no height that you cannot reach, and the higher you reach, the more fulfilling it becomes. At the highest point of the ladder is satchitananda – truth, consciousness, bliss... and love is the ladder. But one end of the ladder is in the mud, has to be; the other end is at the feet of god. They are joined, and love is the ladder that joins this world to that – matter to mind, mind to consciousness.

Love has to be helped, unconsciousness has to be dropped.

Bodhi means enlightenment, the release of light that is within you. It is not something that happens to you – it is your innermost nature. It is your very flame of life. It is not external; it is the most interior phenomenon. It is your interiority, your very inwardness, your subjectivity. It is not an object – you cannot hold it in your hand, but you can be held by it. You cannot possess it, but you can be possessed by it.

So those who search for enlightenment as if they are searching for an object are bound to miss it; it is not an object. It cannot be sought because it is the seeker himself, his own being. And it is already there! Just a turning in, just a round-about turn, a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn and everyone is enlightened.

And anando means bliss bliss that comes as a by-product of enlightenment; it is a by-product. You cannot search for enlightenment because it is not an object, and you cannot search for bliss because it is a by-product; it simply follows enlightenment.

There are only two kinds of people in the world – the third kind is very rare, negligibleOne is of

the greater majority, which is searching for bliss directly. They call it happiness, joy or whatsoever they choose to call it, but they are searching directly for bliss; that is impossible. Bliss is a by-product – you cannot search for it directly. It is like searching for somebody’s shadow; you are bound to fail. You have to search for that person and the shadow will come of its own accord. You cannot go on searching for the shadow. And even if you get the shadow, you will not be able to keep it with you; it will move with the person.

So, many times it happens that one comes very close to the shadow. Those are the moments which people come across in life that they call moments of joy, pleasure, happiness. But they slip out of the hands easily and then you have to go on searching for them again. And it remains a very very dark groping, a blind groping. Bliss is a by-product – so the majority is miserable.

The minority, a few people, become fed up with the search for bliss, and hence they become religious, other-worldly, spiritual, and they start searching for enlightenment, salvation, liberation. Again they miss, because now they start searching for liberation as if it is something outside like money, power, prestige. It is not. Only the third type, a very rare phenomenon, uniqueAnd

everybody has the capacity to become the third, so it is unique and yet common. If understood it is the most common thing; if not understood it is very unique, very rare.

The third type of seeker does not search for enlightenment because it is not an object; he relaxes into himself Rather than searching for a goal, he searches for the answer to ‘Who is this one who is searching for the goal? Who am I?’ He unearths his own being and one day suddenly the source is found and the flame burns bright, and following it comes bliss.

Be the third type of person – that is my message in your name.

[A new sannyasin runs his own centre and therapy based on a process called re-dreaming. He says: It’s a system of moving a person back into the dream state and unfolding the essence of the dream.]

That’s good. That can be helpful.far more helpful than the analysis of the dreams. Because in

analysis the analyst starts imposing his interpretation on the dream. So if you go to the Freudian, he has one interpretation; if you go to the Jungian he has another, and the Adlerian has something else. You go to as many psychoanalysts as are possible and each has his own interpretation – and the dream is one. The real interpretation can be done only by the dreamer; nobody else can interpret it. One can only have helphelp to remember, help to be reminded, help to join fragments, help to go

through it.

The problem of interpretation arises only because the dream is ordinarily never remembered in full; only fragments are left and they look absurd. The tail-end is remembered and many parts are missing. Maybe the vital parts are missing, because the mind won’t allow those vital parts to be known by the dreamer. It represses; immediately the conscious mind is awake it represses the vital parts. So only the non-vital parts – which are not of much significance, which cannot give any clue –

are there. And from those non-vital, non-essential parts, psychoanalysts go on working. Their work is more invention, their own invention.

But this can be of immense help if you help the person to go into the dream so that the dream can unfold again. With that unfolding, the person himself will start recognising the meaning. Slowly slowly he will become aware of the meaning himself, and that will be the true meaning. Neither the Freudian nor the Jungian nor the Adlerian – no analyst, nobody from the outside, can interpret, because each individual dreams in his own way. At least that much freedom is still available in the world, that each one can dream his own way, each one can have his own private dream. Everything else has become public. Everything else is dominated by the church and the state. Only dreams are still available; and they will not be available for long – sooner or later the state is going to enter into people’s dreams.

In Russia they are doing much work trying to teach people in their sleep. Sooner or later sleep is not going to remain private property – it will belong to the state – and from the very childhood the state will catch hold of the sleeping time. Because it is a long time: for eight hours out of twenty-four hours the person is asleep; for one-third of his life he is asleep. The state cannot afford to leave so much time to the person – he may be dreaming dreams dangerous to the state. He may be dreaming rebellious dreams. He may be anti-communist or anti-marxist, or this or that. His dreams have to be probed into. Sooner or later the state is going to find ways to know the dreams of people; then it is going to become very very difficult. But right now, fortunately, it has not yet happened, and people are free to have their own dreams to their own heart’s content.

This method can be of great help. Go deeply into it, and help people. If they can understand their dreams, they will understand their lives.

Deva means divine, animo is the power to become so small that one becomes invisible. In Yoga there are eight kinds of power, inner powers, which a seeker sooner or later comes across. Those powers are called siddhis. Animo is one of the powers. It means the capacity to become atomically small, so small that one becomes invisible. And my observation is that that is the way to enter into god. Only one who has become invisible can enter into god, because it is through humbleness that one enters.

Jesus says ‘Blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of god.’ The meaning of ‘the meek’ is the meaning of animo – almost nobody, almost a nothing, with no ego, with no idea of the ‘I’. Then one does not create any noise. Silently, like a rose petal falling from the bush, one disappears into god.

Become small, and slowly slowly so small that you are not. Go on eliminating yourself, effacing yourself. The moment you are absent, the work is done. Then the presence of god is felt. Your absence is god’s presence your presence is his absence. And both cannot exist together; there is no possibility of any co-existence between god and man. Man is like darkness, god is like light: they cannot exist together. If the light is there, darkness has to disappear; if the darkness persists, that means light is not there. They are never found together.

The egoist is too full of himself; that’s why god cannot find entry into him. He is already too full, his cup is full; not even a single drop of the divine can descend into the cup. The cup has to be empty,

utterly empty. That is the meaning of animo. Empty yourself utterly of yourself, and then wait in patience, in love, in trust.

[A German sannyasin says: I have to go to the army and I don’t like it... For one and a half years.]

Like it! Make it a point to like it. And enjoy it. Enjoy it as a discipline, as an exercise of will and you will be infinitely benefitted by it.

If you go disliking it, then certainly it will be a loss of time, energy and a wastage. When one has to go, when it is certain that one has to go, then why not use it? And the opportunity can be used. Just make it a point that this one and a half years be a training in discipline, a training in order, a training in obedience. Don’t go on fighting inside because that will tire you, exhaust you. Relax, let it be a surrender. And really become part of it, part of the whole game, and enjoy it to the uttermost – it can be enjoyed. Once you don’t take it antagonistically, there is no problem in enjoying it.

I have heard a very famous Hassid story. A Jew was telling a Hassid ‘Our rabbi is a man of miracles. He can order god and god has to do things that he orders. What can your rabbi do?’

The Hassid said ‘Our rabbi is a far greater miracle-maker.’

The Jew said ‘Tell me what he can do – because our rabbi can walk on water, can walk on fire, is reported to have made people who have died live again. What more can your rabbi do?’

The poor Hassid laughed and he said ‘Nothing like these, but far superior things. He says to god “Order me and I will follow.” Your rabbi orders god – that is not a very difficult thing. My rabbi asks for orders from god and follows them – and that is far more of a miracle.’

See the point of it. Relax. Go into it joyously, dancing... as if I am sending you! Enjoy each and everything that is possible there, and after one and a half years you will be in a better state of consciousness. Nothing to be worried about. Even hell Can be used to raise consciousness, so what about the army? If sometimes one has to fall into hell, one has to; what else can one do? But one can raise one’s consciousness even there.

Just go into it and drop all dislikes, mm? because that is always crippling. One is going half- heartedly, forcing oneself, dragging oneself. And when you dislike it from the very beginning, you will find everything to your disliking – which will prove that your dislike is right, that you are perfectly right, that this is just nonsense, that you are suffering, that this is a kind of karma, that it is punishment. You will rebel and deep down you will boil in rage, and you will make your life a hell for one and a half years. And the army will have nothing to do with it – you, your interpretation, your action and reaction, your idea of disliking, will be doing the whole thing.

Listen to me – go joyously. Think of it as if god wants you to be there for one and a half years... so why not use this opportunity? And the army has a few beautiful things about it. It will give you an order, a discipline, a system. Use it! Continue to meditate and watch, and that one and a half years will fly so soon that you will be surprised. If you go with dislike, it will be very very long. It will not be one and a half years; it will be almost infinite, it will be eternity.

Do you know the secret? – that time becomes longer if you are miserable and time becomes shorter if you are happy. Time is not a fixed phenomenon; it depends on your approach and attitude. It is very relative. If you are sitting with your girlfriend time goes so fast, flies fast. You cannot believe that one hour has passed; you think it is only a few minutes. You cannot believe that two hours have passed – it looks so short. Is the clock going crazy? Is the clock against you? because the time to depart is coming close.

But if you are sitting by the side of a dying man, then one hour will look so long. You will look at the clock a thousand and one times and you will say ‘What is the matter? Has the clock stopped?’ The clock is the same – it doesn’t matter whether somebody is dying or somebody is with a friend. It doesn’t matter; it doesn’t depend on you. The clock continues, but your inner experience of time goes on changing.

Christians say that one stays in hell for eternity, forever. The Christian theologians have been in great trouble to explain this, because this seems absurd: somebody has committed a sin but the sin cannot be such that you condemn him forever. Punishment forever? Howsoever big the sin is, the punishment cannot be for eternity; there should be a limit to it. But they have missed the point; the people like Bertrand Russell who have been arguing against Christianity have missed the point, and the people who defend Christianity have missed the point. The point is simply this – that even one year in hell will look like eternity. And even eternity in heaven will pass like a moment. So it depends on you. Change the quality of time.

Go joyously, use it and learn something from it, that even something ugly like the army can be used. That will be a great preparation for your life, because there are ugly things and there are sad things in life, and one has to pass through them. They are there – you cannot avoid them.

This experience will help you so that you can go singing. The song need not disappear even when the night is very dark and the morning seems almost impossible. But the song can continue... and a singing heart brings the morning very close.

This is my message to you.…

Just go and enter it... and convert a few army people to sannyas!

[A sannyasin who runs a centre in Spain says it is difficult because the Spanish don’t want to accept the existence of a master.]

It is difficult. But go on working – they will have to accept the existence of the master. We are going to beat the Spaniards; don’t be worried. (laughter) They cannot escape! All that is needed is translation into Spanish. Two, three books are coming soon. But go on trying.

The people who won’t accept the existence of a master are the people, who, once they do accept it, will go very deep into it. The people who accept the existence of a master easily will not be the people to go very deeply into it. Always remember that – that the person who is trying to resist is somehow deeply attracted towards the thing, hence the resistance. So when somebody is very defensive you can be certain that he is going to become a disciple. Work on him – don’t leave him. His resistance simply shows his fear of his own innermost possibility.

To reject the master is nothing but to reject the possibility of becoming a disciple, that’s all. if you interpret it rightly, the man who rejects the existence of the master is the man who does not want to become a disciple, because if the master is there, then he has to become a disciple, and he is afraid of that space. But the very fear shows that he is attracted. We always feel afraid when we are attracted to something, because if we are attracted, it is going to overpower us. Then we will no more be the master; that’s the fear.

So whenever you go back, continue. Slowly, slowly, you will find people. And I have my people everywhere – they are just waiting for somebody to start, to trigger the process. And soon, within two, three years, you will see that from everywhere people will start coming in thousands. This is just the beginning, and of course those who are working in the beginning, their task is hard. Once things start moving work becomes very easy.

Prem means love, sumati means wisdom wisdom, intelligence. And love has an intelligence of its own which is totally different from the intellectual’s intelligence. It is not intellectual at all – it is intuitive.

The intellectual intelligence is nothing but a biocomputer; it is fed from the outside, mm? That’s what goes on in the school, college, university: we go on feeding the biocomputer, we go on feeding it information. So whatsoever it receives, it can give back, but it is never creative. It is mechanical; it can’t create, it is never original. It can’t discover any new thing. It cannot move into the unknown; its territory is the known. Whatsoever you have given to it, it can go on repeating it parrotlike. This is not much of an intelligence. Intelligence, to be called intelligence, must be creative, must be inventive, mUst be able to penetrate into the realm of the unknown.

That’s what I mean by sumati. Sumati means an intuitive wisdom – not that which comes from the outside but which wells up within. And the word ‘intuition’ is beautiful. For the ordinary intellect tuition is needed from the outside, tutors are needed. Intuition means no tuition is needed. You are enough unto yourself, it is yours; hence it is called in-tuition One comes with it, it is god’s gift.

A loving wisdom is the meaning of your name... a wisdom of the heart, an intelligence that is not logical but intuitive. And that has to become your path: fall from the head into the heart. Disappear from the head, appear in the heart, and live through the heart. It is risky, but great is its exploration, ecstatic is its experience. It is an adventure, and all those who have any courage have to go through it. Cowards live in the head; courageous people live in the heart.

[A sannyasin says: I feel I’ve been fighting you since I arrived.]

That’s true, but everybody does it. It is a good indicator. It means you are trapped! It simply means you know that now there is no way to go back – hence the fight. One tries to the last, but it is a losing battle. But still, the mind tries: ‘Why not try once more?’ the mind says. It will disappear... because to be defeated by me is to be really victorious.

The greatest glory of the disciple is the day, the moment, when he is defeated by the master, because that is his day of victory. Being defeated by the master simply means being defeated by your innermost being, that’s all. The master is nothing but a reflection of the innermost being that you are. The master is nothing but a reflection of that which you are meant to be. So to be defeated

by the master is not to be defeated by somebody else; it is to be defeated by your nature, and the one who is defeated is the artificial one.

These two are in you: the artificial and the natural. If you allow me, the natural will win. If you go on fighting and don’t allow me, the artificial will win. And with the artificial you have lived up to now. It has not given you anything – it can’t give, it has nothing to give. It has no life.

But it happens to everybody, so don’t feel guilty and don’t condemn yourself. That is a natural process that every sannyasin has to pass through. Soon it will be finished, mm? – just do a few groups and it will be gone. These groups help much. They take all the dust away. They make your mirror a little cleaner and then you can see things with more clarity. And the day you can see me with clarity, you will see that I am you – with whom are you fighting? There is nobody to fight with.

[A sannyasin asks about a recurring nightmare he has had since a child.] Nothing to be worried about – it will disappear of its own accord.

It is something to do with your new birth. It used to come when you were a child, and now you are again a child. Hence, just through the association it is coming. It is nothing to be worried about; it happens just through the association. Whatsoever has happened in your childhood can happen again when you take sannyas and you start relaxing and you again become a child, innocent. All that has happened in your childhood can start happening again. The mind gets the clue that you are a child again; it starts repeating the old tapes. It is just a repetition of an old tape. It will go of its own accord – you need not give any attention to it.

[During an ‘energy darshan’ a sannyasin’s hands spontaneously move in mudras.]

Good... very good! The energy is in a very prayerful mood – allow it. And this will be a very helpful prayer for you. So just before going to sleep, for ten minutes sit silently and let the hands pray with their energy... any movement.

Let your hands connect with the universe, with no words, just gestures. And get into it totally. The whole body will start shaking, swaying, trembling; go with it. The whole body has to participate with the hands, but the hands are to lead. The hands have to speak – the message is to go through the hands. Soon you will start feeling great energy flowing in the hands. Just a tingling will occur, a pulsation. Slowly slowly it will be felt all over the body...

You don’t know: when it really comes all over the body it is an orgasm... and a deeper orgasm than any sexual orgasm, and more total. But the energy is going really well. Start this from tonight – ten minutes will do, and then go to sleep, and you will remain in that orgasmic state the whole night. Good!

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