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Chapter 9 - Lovers of tao
In English restaurants, the fly is carefully removed between finger and thumb, placed on the table, and then politely ignored for the rest of the meal.
In France, the fly-finder consumes the soup, but pushes the fly to the side of the plate.
In Scotland, the fly is lifted forcibly out of the soup and squeezed over the plate, then dropped to the ground and trodden into the carpet.
The Chinese consume the fly with one swallow, and then wash it down with the soup.
In Jewish restaurants, particularly in New York, the diner immediately sends for the manager and complains, "Is this all I get, just one fly?"
Captain Cartwright Num-Nuts, the astute commander of the latest electronic miracle battleship, the U.S.S. Turkey Shoot, proudly scans the horizon for smoke. He is standing on the deck of his observation tower, on board ship.
The Turkey Shoot is floating a few miles from the coast of Florida, and Num- Nuts has just commanded the destruction of a mysterious aircraft flying too nearby.
What he does not know is that he has just shot down the latest multi-billion dollar American rocket launched to explore Mars.
Captain Num-Nuts strides proudly up and down the deck, sniffing the salt air and whistling the Turkey Shoot battle song, to celebrate his uncanny marksmanship.
Suddenly, an aide comes running up to the captain. "Here is a special message from the admiral, sir," reports the sailor.
"Read it to me, my son," says Num-Nuts, puffing out his chest, and gazing towards the horizon.
"But, sir," says the sailor, "it is addressed to you personally."
"Just read it to me," snaps back Captain Num-Nuts.
The sailor reads, "Of all the blundering, stupid, idiotic morons, you take the cake!"
Captain Num-Nuts shifts his gaze to the sailor and pauses. Then he says, "Have that decoded at once!"
Luscious Miss Willing starts her new job as a waitress in the Goatburger Cafe.
She approaches a table where Kowalski and Zabriski are sitting after just finishing their meal. She leans over and, cleaning away the plates, asks, "What would you gentlemen like for dessert?"
"Uh, I would like raisin cake," stammers Zabriski, noticing her full, white breasts.
"Okay," she says, turning to Kowalski and leaning all the way over, exposing her beautiful tits. "And is yours raisin, too?"
"Well," says Kowalski, looking down at the napkin on his lap. "Yup, mine is raisin' too!"
Now, Nivedano ... (Drumbeat)
Osho - The Language of Existence 114
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