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Chapter 3 - Seek nothing outside
Now, something serious ...
Maggie Muldoon finally decides to go to see that infamous shrink, Doctor Feelgood.
"Doc," says Maggie, "my husband is unbearable. He drinks three bottles of whiskey a day, smokes five packs of cigarettes, and screams at me all day and all night to 'do this!' and 'do that!' He pushes me around, and he can't keep a job."
"Well," says Feelgood, putting down his notepad, "if he's as bad as all that, why on earth did you have fifteen children by him?"
"I was hoping," replies Maggie, "to lose him in the crowd."
Kowalski is brought to court for stealing a frozen chicken from the local supermarket.
Boris Babblebrain, the young lawyer, puts up an amazing defense for Kowalski and the Polack is found "not guilty".
"You are discharged," says Judge Rumcake. But Kowalski does not move, he only looks back, blankly.
"The judge says you can go," says Babblebrain, waving his arms at Kowalski and the door.
Suddenly, Kowalski's face lights up and he smiles at the judge. "Thank you, your honor,"
Kowalski says. "And does that mean I can keep the chicken?"
Polly gets religion -- it happens in Christianity; a few people get religion -- and when she leaves her profession in a whorehouse she starts a new life with Christ's Salvation Army. One night she is beating a drum on a street corner.
"I used to lay in the arms of men!" shouts Polly. "Boom!" goes the drum.
"White men!" shouts Polly. "Boom!" "Black men!" shouts Polly. "Boom! Boom!"
"Chinamen!" shouts Polly. "Boom! Boom! Boom!"
"I used to lay in the arms of the devil himself!" she shouts. "Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!"
"That's right, sister. Hallelujah!" comes a voice from the back of the crowd. "Screw them all!"
But this is a common phenomenon, when people get religion. It is a great contribution of Christianity to the world -- they get religion and also a drum! So they shout their sins and beat the drum to attract the attention of people, so they also can have religion. But it is such a stupid thing. Religion is not something that one gets -- one has it, nobody can give it to you. It is your very being.
Osho - The Language of Existence 35
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