< Previous | Contents | Next >
Chapter 22 - What more do you want?
22
What more do you want?
23 March 1987 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium Question 1
BELOVED OSHO,
AS A CHILD, ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES WAS TO IMAGINE I WAS GOING
TO DIE IN THE NEXT MINUTE. I ENJOYED FEELING THE TENSION BUILD UP
UNTIL IT REACHED A PEAK AND THEN SLIPPED INTO RELAXATION, AND I FELT
AS IF I WAS BUBBLING WITH HAPPINESS. LATER, WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, FOR A PERIOD OF SIX MONTHS, I WOULD FREQUENTLY BE AWOKEN BY A FEELING OF PANIC AND FEAR, A SENSE OF IMPENDING DEATH. I WOULD
STRUGGLE TO PREVENT MY DYING BY HANGING ON TO THE THOUGHT OF
SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING I WANTED TO LIVE FOR. THEN THE PANIC WOULD
SUBSIDE AND THE FEAR WOULD GRADUALLY GO. THE LAST TIME THIS
HAPPENED TO ME AS A TEENAGER, I WOKE FEELING THE FEAR OF DEATH THE
STRONGEST I EVER HAD. BUT THIS TIME, INSTEAD OF PANICKING,
WITHOUT
ANY CONSCIOUS DECISION, I FOUND MYSELF ACCEPTING DEATH, AND
RELAXING. IMMEDIATELY, THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION OF LIGHT AND A SENSE
OF BEING UPLIFTED BY BLISS. IT WAS NOT UNTIL SOME YEARS LATER, WHEN I TOOK SANNYAS AND ONE DAY WAS MEDITATING ALONE, THAT THE FEAR OF
DEATH RETURNED. I WAS OVERWHELMED BY THE INTENSITY OF IT, AND
COULD DO NOTHING TO TRANSFORM IT OR EVEN REPRESS IT: I JUMPED UP IN
A PANIC AND TRIED TO SHAKE IT OFF. WHY HAS THIS FEAR BEEN A CONSTANT
COMPANION THROUGHOUT MY LIFE, AND WHAT IS ITS SIGNIFICANCE FOR ME?
Dhyan Amiyo, meditation and death are very similar experiences. In death, your ego disappears; only your pure being remains. The same happens in meditation too: the disappearance of the ego and the presence only of pure isness, of your being. The similarity is so deep that just as people are afraid of death, they are also afraid of meditation. On the other hand, if you are not afraid of meditation, you will not be afraid of death either.
Meditation prepares you for death.
Our whole education is only for life. That is only half an education, and the other half --
which is far more important, which comes as the crescendo of life -- is completely missing from all systems of education that have existed before or are now in existence.
Meditation prepares you for the other half; it helps you to know death without dying. And once you have known death without dying, the fear of death will disappear forever. Even when death comes, you will be silently watching it, knowing absolutely that it cannot even make a small scratch on your being. It is going to take away your body, your mind, but not you.
Osho - The Hidden Splendor 219
< Previous | Contents | Next >