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Chapter 19 - At the maximum you disappear
sing His song through him. He simply wants not to obstruct but to remain absolutely empty, so God can make of his emptiness whatsoever He wants.
This is trust.
And there is no value higher than trust, because trust is the purest form of love.
Zareen, your tears are tears of love, and your waiting for tomorrow is just a longing of the heart -- but not desire, because there is no demand.
Just become more and more humble, more and more nobody, more and more spacious --
because when I see you, I am not there; I have departed from myself long ago. I have allowed God to take possession of me. I have allowed him to do whatsoever he wants to do with me. I don't know even what the next word is going to be, because it is not coming from me -- it is coming only through me.
Just look at my eyes... somebody else is looking through my eyes. Look at my gestures... they are not mine.
Look at my signatures... they are not mine.
I have lost track of myself so long ago that even if I meet myself, I don't think I will be able to recognize him. And just being a vehicle of God, a vehicle of existence, has been such a fulfillment, such a contentment, such a benediction, that I don't think there can be anything more, deeper, higher.
I am absolutely blessed.
I was also not the deserving one.
I have never practiced any religion, I have never been part of any religious organization, I have never entered temples, churches, or mosques. One thing from the very beginning was clear to me: that there is no way for me to find God, because I don't know his address, I don't know his home. In this vast
universe, where am I going to find him? All that I can do is create a longing, a thirst, in every cell of my body and being, and wait.
If God wants to find me, he will find me. Only he can find me; I cannot find him.
And now, I can say it with absolute authority -- that whenever God has happened to anybody, it was not the person's search for God; it was simply the person's waiting and longing. And when the thirst became so much that it was impossible for God to go on hiding...
this is the only quality that makes a really religious person deserving. He is a silent waiting, a silent prayer, and a peaceful spaciousness. God comes.
Just don't rationalize when he comes, that it may be the thunder of the clouds, or it may be the wind striking against the doors. Keep the doors open. Keep your eyes open, keep your heart open. He comes. He comes surely, because he has been coming to thousands of people in the whole history of humanity.
And I don't remember a single mystic saying, "I found God because I deserved." The very idea of deserving is of the ego. All the mystics are agreed on the point that God found them, because they cried too much, they longed too much.
Their longing was heard; their tears reached God. Prayers may not reach, but tears certainly reach. Osho - The Hidden Splendor
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