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Chapter 13 - Truth is not divisible
fulfill, their love changes into great hate. The same person who was ready to die for me is ready to kill me.
So I have learned it the hard way that if you love, it is your decision. If you hate, it is your decision. I am almost non-existent as far as my side is concerned: neither am I a partner in your love, nor am I going to be a partner in your hate. This is a sad lesson but it is good that I have learned it long before.
If somebody assassinates me, at least I will not have any complaint, any grudge -
- because to love was his freedom, to hate is also his freedom. I am absolutely out of the relationship.
I will go on doing whatever I feel is needed for the growth of your consciousness. But people have been going on, changing... such stupid expectations and if they are not fulfilled...
it seems as if they have come to me to change me, to transform me. They want me to be according to their idea of how a master should be.
I give you total freedom to be yourself. I never expect anything, any ideal to be imposed on you. I don't give you any commandments. And yet you go on carrying within your mind certain expectations that I have to fulfill, and if they are not fulfilled... and they cannot be fulfilled. Thousands of people are related to me. They have different ideals, different moral concepts. It is almost impossible -- and even if it were possible, I am not a man to fit with those who are unconscious, who are themselves living in darkness.
You are here to go through a transformation. It is none of your business how I live, what I say, what I do -- the moment you start thinking to change something in me, the bridge between me and you is broken.
And it is a one-sided bridge; I am not a partner in it. I know it is hard for you but your very question implies, Sarjano -- perhaps you have not read it very consciously while you were writing it. You say, "Let us reverse the question for once." You cannot reverse it even for once. You are asking now, "What have you learned being with us?"
I have nothing to learn.
You are here only because of the fact that you have found a person who has nothing to learn -- and particularly from you, who are groping in darkness, in unconsciousness, who are almost on the boundary line of insanity -- any moment, just one step more and you are in a madhouse.
Neither from you, nor from anyone else.
And my whole approach is -- and I have been insisting millions of times -- that as far as truth or the ultimate reality is concerned, you cannot learn it from anybody else. And once you have known it, there is nothing that remains to be learned.
So I say to you: not even once can the question be reversed. I have not learned anything from you. You need not feel responsible for anything. Just being with you for all these three decades, it has not been a learning but simply a discovery: that there is nobody in the world who is so awakened that you can even call him a friend, so awakened that you can even call him, a beloved. This has not been a learning -- this is simply a discovery, slowly slowly, as I have come to know human beings.
And as I went around the world, my discovery has become absolutely clear: this humanity has come to a dead end. To hope for anything from this humanity is sheer nonsense. Perhaps a few people may be saved -- and for them I go on creating the Noah's Ark, knowing perfectly Osho - The Hidden Splendor
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