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Chapter 22 - What more do you want?
You say, "Being with you, everything happens so right that there is nothing more to do but let it happen." So I am not forcing anything; that's perfectly right. Forcing is violence, forcing is repression, forcing is dangerous. Whatever you force will take its revenge.
My whole teaching can be reduced into two words: Let Go. Just go with the stream and you are doing perfectly well.
"And more and more there is only this sweet painful love for You, and more silence and more laughter and more love. Yet, sometimes when You speak about 'doing everything for enlightenment,' a doubt arises in me that maybe I am cheating myself: Am I not doing enough?"
This doubt arises only because there is some space left empty, not filled with trust.
"Immense" is your trust, but immense does not mean total. And less than total is going to have, once in a while, this doubt, that doubt.
Otherwise, there is nothing to doubt. You are growing in silence, you are growing in love, you are feeling more and more laughter -- these are the signals that you are on the right path.
And when I speak of doing everything for enlightenment, you and everybody have to remember that I am speaking to so many people -- not only to those who are present here, but also to those who are spread all over the world. If you take every statement personally, you will be unnecessarily getting into trouble.
I have to take care of so many people who are so different from each other, and I am answering different people in different stages, in different situations. You have to remember always, to look at your own growth: if it is going towards love, compassion, silence, blissfulness, joy, laughter, celebration, and silence, then remember that I must have answered somebody else. You are doing perfectly well. And sometimes these kinds of doubts can disturb your growth.
Whenever I had said, "Do everything for enlightenment," I must have been
answering some -- and there are many -- who are so lazy, that what to say about everything, they are not even ready to do anything. They are simply waiting for me to do something. If it were possible, if nature allowed, I would have done it, but it is against the law of nature itself.
You have to find your truth yourself. And for that, you have to risk everything. Truth cannot be anything else but your first priority. It cannot be one amongst many desires. It is not a desire, it is a wholehearted longing, as if you are lost in a desert and for days you have not been able to find water. Now, thirst is not a desire; now every cell of your body is crying
"thirst." There are not even words to say, it is just an experience: you are burning with thirst, you are on fire.
Enlightenment is the greatest experience in human life. Certainly you have to leave your trivial engagements -- but remember that I am talking to so many people that everything is not for you. You have to choose.
One thing you have always to remember: if symptoms of love and joy and laughter are growing in you, then there is no need to worry. And there is no need to be in a hurry, either. It is better to go at your pace, slowly but very centered and grounded, so that you don't have to take any step backwards. You don't have even to look backwards.
Osho - The Hidden Splendor 226
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