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Chapter 5 - Perfectly imperfect
prospect, but four rings later he pretended that he had to go out to get some cigarettes and staggered off to the watchman's tower.
"Listen, old man," he wheezed to the man, "do me a favor, will you? For the rest of the night ring that bell of yours at two-hour intervals instead of hourly!"
"Ah," replied the ancient watchman, fingering his moustache, "I would be happy to oblige, monsieur, but I cannot do this."
"Why not?" George demanded. "I'll give you money, if that's what's troubling you!"
"Not at all," the old man responded. "You see, a beautiful young lady has already bribed me to ring the bell every half hour."
I HAVE ALWAYS MANAGED TO TURN FROM BEING AN ADMIRER OF WOMEN
INTO A WOMAN'S FOOL.
If you are an admirer of women you will inevitably turn into a woman's fool, because admiration is illusory; admiration is possible only from a distance. The closer you come the more foolish you will look, and when you are caught by the woman you are bound to be turned into a damned fool. And you were trying in every possible way to be caught, so you cannot easily get out of it either.
A mousetrap never runs after a mouse; the mousetrap simply sits centered, grounded. The mouse in his airy-fairy romanticism starts dreaming about the coziness inside the mousetrap, the smell of the food inside, the spaghetti and all that, and gets caught. It is easy to get caught, it is very difficult to be out again, because the mousetrap has only an entrance and no exit.
So, Prasad, it is going to happen again and again!
I don't admire any woman: I am not a romantic, I am very factual. Whatsoever I say about men or women is simply a fact -- no fiction about it! And once you are caught you will be constantly in difficulty because there are other mousetraps all
around which look cozier, warmer, more beautiful, more spicy. In fact, the word "spicy" is only a plural of "spouse." And marriage is a very strange affair: the dessert is served first and then everything goes down the drain!
After a heart-transplant operation the patient was receiving instructions from his doctor.
He was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco and advised to get at least eight hours sleep at night.
Finally the patient asked, "What about my sex life, doc? Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?"
"Just with your wife," responded the doctor. "We don't want you to get too excited."
A middle-aged husband went to a doctor and explained that his wife was constantly nagging him about his vanishing potency. After giving him a bottle of pills the doctor assured him that they would work wonders.
Osho - The Goose is Out 67
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