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Chapter title: None
6 July 1980 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Archive code: 8007065 ShortTitle: GWIND06 Audio:
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[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been scanned and cleaned up. It is for reference purposes only.]
Meditation is a process of alchemy. It is a very wrong notion, but very prevalent all over the world, that alchemy was just primitive chemistry. Alchemy had nothing to do with chemistry at all. Chemistry is part of science, alchemy is part of religion. Chemistry belongs to the world of matter, alchemy belongs to the world of consciousness.
But this wrong notion has arisen because of a certain historical necessity. The Christian church was so repressive that all mystic schools in the West had to function under disguise; they had to go underground.
And the only way to go underground was to pretend that they were doing something else. So on the periphery they pretended that they were trying to change baser metals into gold. That was only a deception; it was to befool the church and the state and the crowd. Behind the facade was the real work. The real work was to transform the lower energies, metaphorically called baser metals, into higher energies, metaphorically, gold. It was a process, of tremendous importance, to transform sexual energy into superconsciousness.
In the East it never happened, because in the East religions have never been so repressive. In fact in the East religions have never been so organised. For
example, Hinduism has never been a political power the way Christianity has been, or Islam has been. Hinduism has existed as a way of life, as a philosophy, but with no political power, with no organisation at all. It| good in a sense: in the East many things were possible because of this unorganised state of religion.
Rebels could exist. Even a very rebellious school of mystics, the tantrikas, could exist -- which would have been absolutely impossible in the West. And that was the most extreme, rebellious religion ever; it sabotaged the whole idea of the so- called religiousness. But still it existed openly; there was no need to go underground.
It was only recently, when Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism came in contact with Islam and Christianity, that they started becoming organised religions, and rebellious spirits became more and more impossible.
Alchemy is one of the oldest Mystic Schools. Its origins are really hidden far away in prehistoric times.
But the whole process depends on a single method, meditation. Meditation contains the whole science of alchemy. It is the beginning and the end, because first you have to sort out what is matter in you and what is non-matter in you -- that is the beginning. Unless you sort it out you will remain confused.
The whole confusion is that both are intermixed; matter has penetrated into consciousness in many ways and consciousness has penetrated into matter in many ways. They have become so intertwined that it is almost impossible to exactly define what is what.
And matter of course is visible, measurable -- that's why it is called matter. Matter means that which can be measured. It is possible for others to observe it, it is objective. The word 'objective' is beautiful; it means that which hinders, objects. I won't allow you, it will hinder you, it will prove its existence, But consciousness is empty in that way; it does not object. It is like an open door: you can pass through it. It is so invisible that it is not even like a breeze; it won't even touch you. It is intangible.
That's why we become focussed on the body, and slowly slowly a certain identity arises which is bodily: we start thinking of ourselves as the body. We are not the body; we are in the body but are not the body.
The body only houses us, shelters us. It is a beautiful shrine: it has to be loved, taken care of, nourished, not neglected. It has tremendous possibilities, but the basic thing to remember is, it is not your being. The first 1/08/07
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step of meditation is to demark that you are not the body.
So meditation starts in observing the body from inside. From outside you have observed it; everybody has observed it in the mirror because that is the only way to observe your own body from outside. Others you can observe without the mirror because your eyes function as mirrors, but your eyes cannot function as mirrors for your own body; hence you need a mirror. But the mirror can only mirror the material part of you
-- the house, not the resident.
There is a beautiful story about Alexander -- it must be just a parable, but it is very famous in the East --
that when he was leaving India... He has gathered tremendous wealth in India -- the most valuable diamonds and emeralds and rubies... He met a fakir, a naked fakir, and he became tremendously interested in the fakir.
There was something in him, something very magnetic. He invited him to come with him as a royal guest to his country and he said, 'Every care will be taken and every facility will be provided. You will be treated as a king.'
The fakir said, 'But I don't see that you have anything -- you are a beggar, I am a king! Rather than trying to give something to me, it is better that you ask something from me.' And he said it with such authority that for a moment even Alexander was silent. He looked into his eyes: the fakir meant it, he was not joking.
Alexander said, 'But I don't see that you have got anything.' Hanging from his shoulder the fakir had just a small bag in which there was his begging bowl. He
took out the begging bowl and inside the begging bowl there was a small mirror. He gave it to Alexander and ho said, 'Keep it with you and you will know what I mean.'
The story is that when Alexander looked into the mirror it did not reflect his body but his soul. Now, this must be a story because no mirror can reflect the soul, but it symbolises that the mystic, the fakir, must have initiated him into meditation. Meditation is that mirror in which you can see your soul, your consciousness, that which you are.
So one has to begin to watch one's own body from the inside. For example, I can move my hand without being conscious of it; a fly comes and you remove it, a mosquito comes and you remove it, and you go on doing your work. Even in sleep, if an ant starts crawling on your feet, the feet throw it off. They call it a conditioned reflex. Even the body has a little brain of its own; every cell has a little brain of its own, automatic and autonomous; it works on its own. Otherwise even sleep would become impossible, everything would be a disturbance. So you continue sleeping, your sleep is not disturbed; the ant is thrown away, the mosquito is blown away. And that's exactly what you go on doing the whole day.
But then try to move the same hand with inner consciousness: with closed eyes move the hand very consciously, watching from the inside, and you will be surprised: suddenly there is a grace, you can feel the hand moving, from inside you can see the movement of the hand. And certainly the seer is different from the seen.
Walking, eating, whatsoever one is doing, one should start watching the body. That is the first step of meditation: watching the body from the inside. Slowly slowly a distance arises between the watcher and the watched, and the confusion starts clearing up.
When you are perfectly aware that you are not the body then the second step has to be taken: the watching of mind processes, which are a little more subtle; hence one should take it only as a second step.
Then thoughts, desires, memories, imagination, dreams, fantasies, slowly slowly the whole panorama of the mind has to be watched; then you start getting out of the entanglement with the mind. Just as you got out of the body, you start getting out of the mind; more clarity arises that you are not the mind either.
Then the third step is to watch the feelings, the emotions, which are the subtlest -
- the heart. They are subtler than thoughts; they are very vague, very elusive. It is difficult to catch hold of them, but if you have succeeded in the first two steps then the third also becomes possible -- but only after the first two.
The process is the same, watching; just the object changes: the object becomes more and more subtle, more and more inner. And when you have succeeded in seeing that you are not your heart either -- your emotions, your love, your hate, your moods, sadness, joy -- you are not even that, then a tremendous clarity arises in you.
These are the three steps which make you aware of yourself; it is a clear-cut, crystal-clear awareness of the self.
The Jewish story is that Moses asked god 'My people will ask me "Who is god?" How am I to answer them? What will I say? What is your name?' And the answer is tremendously significant; in fact in the whole Judaic religion there is nothing more important than that single statement. That contains the essence 1/08/07
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of meditation. God said 'Just tell those people ?I am that I am."
Now it looks very absurd, it looks like & tautology: I am that I am. But that is the state of meditation --
when you have become aware 'I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am not the heart.' Then what can you say? -- only 'I am that I am.'
Buddha says this is the third step, and many religions have stopped here. I perfectly agree with him. And I can see why many religions have stopped here, because it seems one has arrived. But just one step more is needed, because this 'I am' is also in a very subtle way, a thought, a feeling, an identity.
If this also can be watched then one reaches the ultimate, and that state is called
parishuddha: the fourth, the ultimate purity where nothing can be said; one is simply silent, There is no way to say it, no way to express it.
Lao Tzu says 'Truth cannot be said, and the moment you say it, you have already falsified it.'
Man can exist in two ways. Either he can exist in time... That's where we ordinarily exist, but in time there is death. Time is bound to bring death; there is birth and there is death. Man can also exist in eternity, then there is no birth and no death.
The cross of Jesus represents these two dimensions. Christianity has completely missed the significance of it. The cross is far more ancient than Christ. In fact it is part of an ancient eastern symbol, the swastika. It is just part of the swastika, not the whole symbol. By the time it reached the western world it lost a few things, but the essential core has remained.
You must have seen the swastika because Adolf Hitler chose it as his symbol. The swastika or the cross is made by two lines; one is horizontal, the other is vortical.
The horizontal line represents time. Jesus' hands are spread on the horizontal line. Hands represent work, and work is possible only in time. And Jesus' whole body except the hands is hanging on the vertical line. The vertical line represents eternity.
Time moves in a sequence, moment to moment, in a line, it is linear. You go from a to b, from b to c, from c to d -- that's how time moves. If you want to take a jump into eternity you have not to go from a to b; you have to jump out of a -- either into the depths or towards the heights -- you have to move vertically.
Mind moves in time, and hands are part of mind. This has been very recently discovered, that your mind has two hemispheres. One hemisphere is joined to your right hand; the left side of your mind is joined with your right hand. And the right side of your mind is joined to your left hand. Hands are the visible extension of the mind.
Jesus' body, particularly his hands, is spread on the horizontal line -- that represents time. Work is dono by mind; hence schools, colleges, universities, train your mind because society needs workers, all kinds of workers -- skilled,
unskilled, but society needs workers.
The vertical line represents meditation. It is jumping out of the mind. It means learning how to remain absolutely inactive, doing nothing for a few moments.
The Zen people say 'sitting silently, doing nothing, spring comes and the grass grows by itself.' You have only to sit silently doing nothing, and everything goes on happening of its own accord. The spring will come and the grass will grow. Just like that, everything is going to happen; you need not do it. Meditation is not something that has to be done, it is something that has only to be understood.
If you understand meditation then that's enough: sitting silently anywhere you can fall into meditativeness. Meditativeness is not action but a state of silence, a state of inaction when everything stops: time stops, all movement disappears, you are in total rest. And those are the moments when you know that you are immortal, that only the body will die; you are not going to die. Then all fear disappears because all fear is rooted in death. And to be fearless is the most fundamental thing for living life joyously.
The fearful person cannot live life joyously. How can he? -- his whole energy remains entangled with fear, he is continuously afraid of everything. He cannot love, he is afraid -- who knows where it will land him? He is always cautious, on guard. He is so cautious that he becomes crippled, paralysed. He is always concerned that he should not commit any mistake, that he should not do anything wrong. His obsession about not committing a mistake, about not doing anything wrong, about not going astray, becomes so heavy that he stops moving. He dies before death. Then he lives only for the name sake; in fact he vegetates, he does not live. Then he is not a man -- maybe a potato or a tomato or a banana -- anything, but not a man at all'
A man has to be adventurous, always on the go into the unknown, always exploring that which is not known, always taking his small boat of life into the uncharted sea, always risking;because he knows there is 1/08/07
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no death, so there is no fear -- he can risk! He can risk everything.
And sannyas is a risk; it is learning the adventure, it is learning the art of living dangerously. But a person can live dangerously only when he knows that there is no death. Then to live dangerously is playful, there is no seriousness about it. It is a joy, it is a dance.
But the whole thing depends on one thing, that one should have some experience of one's immortality, of I was never born and I will never die. This is possible through meditation, and only through meditation.
So learn to sit silently, doing nothing -- just sitting resting in yourself, relaxing in yourself. It takes a little time because we have been brought up to be restless, we have been brought up by people who have been restless themselves. They have poisoned us, they have corrupted us, not knowingly, not intentionally --
they may have been good people, they may have even tried to help you, but they were unconscious, and unconscious people cannot help, they can only harm. Inspite of good intentions they are bound to harm.
They have made everybody restless, fidgety. Everybody is always running, rushing, not knowing where, not knowing why, for what. Speed in itself has become important, as if it has some intrinsic value.
I used to live with a professor when I was a student in the university. He was a very busy man and always rushing from this university to that, from this country to that. He was a visiting professor of many universities all over the world, on many consulting boards... always on the run.
Whenever he was at home he would play chess, playing cards, monopoly -- stupid things. I used to ask him why. And he would say 'To kill time.'
I said 'This is strange: you don't go by train when you have to go to another town, you rush by aeroplane to save time. And when time is saved you play monopoly to kill time' And you think you are a professor of logic and philosophy
-- you are a fool! If this is for what time is to be saved, then why save it in the first place? Then go by bullock cart! You will enjoy the scene and the villages and so many things on the way.
Journeying by aeroplane is not really a journey. You enter a capsule in one place,
you get out of the capsule in another place to save time -- and then what do you do with the time?
He said 'You always create trouble for me. In fact in talking with you I feel afraid that you will create some trouble. Now I know that I cannot answer you you are right.'
He died in a plane crash finally, I had been telling him again and again 'You will die...' because in India, only a bullock cart is safe!...'you are running unnecessarily.' He had enough money and I would ask him,
'Why do you go on like this?' 'To earn money.' And I said 'You don't have any child.'
He used to give me money and I would waste his money. I told him 'I don't believe in money or anything -- I simply waste it. If you give me money I will waste it. Never ask me "What happened to it?"'
To earn money he was going to New York and to Washington and to London, and ho had no child, his wife was divorced. I was the only person who was living with him so he had to give money to me -- what else could he do with the money?
I said to him 'This is stupid: you have enough money -- you can retire, you can enjoy your life and play cards and chess and whatsoever you want.' But he continued. It was just the old rut, the old habit.
A meditator has to learn to do only the essential and not to waste one's life in the unessential. A meditator has to learn how to relax, how to rest, and enjoy rest. And slowly slowly one settles into one's own centre. And the moment you touch your own centre you have touched eternity, you have touched timelessness, you have tasted nectar for the first time.
The whole of religion exists for this experience. If religion is not going to give you the experience of the immortal, of the eternal, then it is absolutely pointless.
My sannyasins are going to taste it. They are moving slowly deeper and deeper into it, relaxing into it.
That's what sannyas is all about: an exploration of eternity.
The Golden Wind
Chapter #7
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