15 To have to risk all

‌CHAPTER 15

To have to risk all

17 June 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[Osho explains the meaning deva savya – all is divine. Without any exception, all is divine; the moment you exclude something you have not understood this. Everything that god has given you, Osho continues, has to be used and transformed because nothing is without meaning or significance]

[The new sannyasin says: I changed my mind several times!]

It happensbecause it is difficult for the mind to decide anything; it is natural for it to waver. The

moment the mind becomes non-wavering, it disappears.

[The mind lives through division, says Osho, and can rule you because it always divides you over every issue, large or small from god and sannyas to what dress to wear today. Understanding this, you begin to look somewhere deeper. Decision never comes from the mind; it comes from somewhere deeper, somewhere higherit comes from your core. This decision has been waiting

there, Osho says, growing there for your whole life]

There are three kinds of people who take sannyas: one, who takes it from the decision of the mind. His sannyas is not of any worth because it will change any moment; the mind changes so it cannot be of worth. You are making your house on the sands, on shifting sands. This house is not going to be a real shelter. Or, you are making a house of playing cards: a small breeze and it will be gone. People who take sannyas through their mind decision, really don’t take it.

Then there are people who take sannyas from something deeper than the mind but who are still not aware from where the decision is coming – just like you. There is more possibility that their sannyas

will become a very very radical change in their life, but there is also a possibility that they may get into the trap of the mind again, because they are not conscious and they cannot clearly separate what is mind and what is not mind. They can fall back, they can go ahead: both doors are open.

And then there is a third kind of sannyasin who knows perfectly well that it has nothing to do with the mind; then there is no falling back. The second can become the third very easily. That’s what I’m trying to make you clear about – that it is not of the mind, so now the mind cannot disturb it. If it has been taken by the mind, the mind can drop it. If it has not been taken by the mind, then the mind is impotent to do anything about it: it will go on growing.

You have been waiting for it: now the opportunity has come use it with your total energy, with your whole heart. Many times it happens that the opportunity comes and passes by. We have been waiting for it for years, and when it comes we are paralysed.

Somebody asked one great millionaire, morgan, what the secret of his success was. He said, ‘When the opportunity comes, I immediately jump into it’. The man who was asking obviously was a failure in life, otherwise why should he ask what the secret of success was?

He said, ‘That’s right, but how do you know that the opportunity has come? Opportunities come to me too, but by the time I jump they are gone. How do you manage?’

Morgan said, ‘I keep on jumping. I don’t wait for the opportunity, I keep on jumping! So whenever it comes, it finds me jumping. I immediately get into it; it is not a question of waiting.’

And my feeling is that opportunities come every moment, because god is. Just don’t miss it this time!

[A sannyasin couple are leaving for the West. The man says he tries to stop himself from getting high – for example, dropping out of the meditation camp half way through; and continual calamities in the relationship.]

Many people do that; it is nothing special. Drop it! It is very ordinary, it is just the average mind, very mediocre.

There is a constant fear in everybody, in almost everybody, of Really getting high. The fear comes because the moment you get high you cannot remain in your ego. When you get high you cannot remain in your finite, limited world; it starts being shattered. When you invite the infinite and it starts coming – and it comes like a torrent, a flood, you start feeling ‘I will be washed away’ – then you start clinging to the past and stop doors opening.

It is the fear of the infinite, it is the fear of god himself – but the fear will continue unless you look directly into its face. If you want to remain the way you are, then it’s okay. Nobody is trying to change you; why should anybody try to change you? If you feel happy the way you are, then this is the way you have to be. If you don’t feel happy, take courage. Then you will have to jump, you will have to take the risk... and the risk has to be taken.

So just see that these two possibilities are there. You can remain the same; then there is no risk, it is safer. But you remain the same: you are not happy so you remain unhappy, you are miserable so

you remain miserable. But there is no risk in it. This alternative has one thing good in it: it is very convenient: no risk, no change, no drastic change of your life style. You are very protected in this way. You have nothing to protect but you are very much protected. You have nothing to live for but life is secure.

The other alternative has great potentiality in it, but that potentiality starts with risk. One has to be a gambler and one has to risk all. You cannot just risk partially; it doesn’t work. Then you remain in two boats, always ready to jump back whenever things become too much. The old boat has to sink so that there is nowhere to jump. The old bridge has to be broken so that you cannot turn back. It is risky, a gambler’s risk. It needs courage, needs youth, a young mind, needs to go into danger, insecurity... but once you start moving, there is great joy, there is great celebration.

So these are the two alternatives: with one there is no risk. There is security, but no joy. With the other there is great joy, great possibilities of celebration, but there is risk.

Ordinarily we would like to have all the joy with all the security – and that doesn’t happen. That’s not the way of life, and nothing can be done about it. That’s what we want: we want the impossible. We want security, safety, control, and we want joy, celebration and great adventure. Both things cannot happen together, you cannot have both: they don’t come in the same package.

This has to be deeply understood... and then one has to choose! And don’t go on wavering: if you choose to remain the same, be the same. Then forget all meditations, all groups. If you don’t want to be the same, if you are fed up with your misery, then take the jump! And I cannot take the jump for you; you will have to take the jump. I can show you the way but you will have to travel. So make it very clear!

Things are very clear really, but how do things continue? Things continue because we go on hoping for the impossible, we go on hoping against all hope. We think there must be some way that we can remain secure and can also enjoy new pastures of life.

It has never happened! It is not going to happen because it cannot happen; in the very nature of things it is not possible. Seeing this, one takes a decision... and decision is always good. This indecisiveness is bad, because indecisiveness by and by makes you lousy. You lose sharpness, you lose keenness, you lose clarity, you become more and more cloudy. Much smoke comes around your flame and the flame cannot be seen.

Decisiveness brings light. Even if you decide to remain the same, even that will bring light to you; things will be clear. Even if you decide wrongly, then too decision is good. If you decide rightly it is a great blessing, but if you decide wrongly, then too it is better than the indecisive state of mind.

Decisiveness is always good; man is born through decisiveness. Remaining wavering, doing things half-heartedly, doing and not doing, just going so far and then turning back, is a sheer wastage of energy. And if you remain This way too long, it becomes your habit. Then it becomes a deep rut in your mind: again and again you do the same thing and the rut goes deeper and deeper and deeper. Stop it!

[So when you return from the West], come with decision. And the first thing you have to tell me when you come back is this, mm? We are going to decide – next [time] you come and either this

way or that we will decide... but we will decide! And I’m not saying to decide for adventure; no, I’m not saying that. I am saying to just decide: whatsoever you want, decide about it, but decide, mm? so something starts happening. It is time.

And the same thing will be in your relationship – because this indecisiveness of the mind will have its repercussions everywhere, whatsoever you do. Mm? my feeling is that when you are in love with her (looking at the woman), then too you are not totally in it, and when you are angry at her, you are not totally angry at her.

When you are angry, deep down, you go on telling yourself, ‘This is not good. Don’t be so angry. Anger is not good.’ That anger is there but you are never really angry... and then in everything you will remain only half-hearted. So things go on, somehow, but it is not a dance; it is a kind of dragging.

And every love affair brings all problems up. Mm? – it is a great meditation. It brings up all that is there inside you, it stirs everything up.

So, good – I am always in favour of love affairs because they bring everything to the surface. If somebody is alert and wants to do something, love is a great opportunity because it brings things to the surface; you can change them. When you know them, you can change them. When they are in the unconscious, underground, you don’t know them so how can you change them? They go on manipulating you from the back.

So decide about that too. When you are angry be really angry, and when you are in love be wildly in love! In both things go totally. And don’t be afraid about anything; there is nothing to fear.

She will be also very happy... because to live with a man who can be total in anything is a great joy. Yes, even to suffer the anger of a man who is total in his anger is a joy because of the heat of it, the warmth of it.

Have you not watched the ugliness of a man who wants to be angry and remains polite? He is very ugly, he is very cold. Nobody can be happy with him and nobody is befooled by him: everybody feels that he is angry. You cannot befool a woman particularly. You may be able to befool a man more easily, but not a woman, because women deep down are still in their intuitive being; they have not become as heady as man. You can deceive a man very easily but before a woman you stand naked: she functions almost like a mirror.

No need to be afraid; when you love a woman there is no need to be afraid. There is no need to hide and there is no need to repress. Just be true and authentic. If love survives your authenticity, then only is it worthwhile. Don’t be afraid. If the love cannot survive the authenticity, then it is not worthwhile.

Remember this as a criterion: only that love is worthwhile which can survive your authenticity, which does not make you a hypocrite, which helps you to become more real. That love is worth something!

If the love can survive only with lies, hypocrisies, pretensions, it is not worthwhile; it is not love at all! So there (in the West), let it be a long love meditation till [you return], mm? If love survives it will be something valuable; if it disappears, that too is very good. My feeling is that it will survive. Go into it!

[The woman says: I don’t know! I feel stupid – I never know what to say!] No, that’s perfectly okay... that’s perfectly okay.

Help him to be authentic, mm? – and through his authenticity you will be helped to be authentic yourself.

Make love a situation to grow. Don’t allow love to become a bondage, don’t let love chain you. Let it be a freedom: help each other to be more and more free and more and more true.

If we cannot help the other person we love to be true, then it is not love. Mm? – the only gift love can give is the gift of truth. All other gifts are just false substitutes. Lovers go on giving gifts to each other – sometimes soap, sometimes perfume, sometimes this and that... all nonsense! If you want to give a real gift to the lover, then help him to be true! And by helping him to be true you will be helped to be true, because truth helps truth, lies help lies.

Bring one lie into your life and a thousand and one will follow. Bring one truth into your life and you will find a queue is standing there; many more truths are ready to come in. The same attracts the same.

So don’t make love just an ordinary phenomenon of a man loving a woman, a woman loving a man; don’t make it an ordinary phenomenon. My sannyasins should make love a great opportunity to grow towards spirituality. Make it a jumping board for the unknown; help each other in every possible way, and remain totally open.

The moment you hide something from your lover it simply shows that you don’t love him enough yet – otherwise why hide? Lovers should not have any secrets; they should be utterly open to each other. Then you will see that when you are utterly open fight by and by disappears, argumentation disappears. Otherwise out of twenty-four hours lovers spend twenty-three hours in fighting. This is such a costly affair and such a foolish thing!

For twenty-three hours fighting and for one hour they are somehow loving... otherwise they are continuously arguing and nagging, trying to dominate, possess, manipulate, to do a thousand and one things which are not love at all. It is a miracle how love survives all these tricks and politics. Drop all possessiveness, drop all politics. Help each other and respect the other’s freedom so that he can respect yours. Good!

Prabhu sharan. It means at the feet of god. Prabhu means god, sharan means at the feet... and let that be your way of life, let that be your very path – deep humbleness. Just think of yourself at the feet of god everywhere, and let everybody’s feet be god’s feet.

Nothing is a problem with you, things are very simple with you. You have a very simple heart, it can suddenly start moving, but this attitude will help you tremendously.

I will start working on you from this very moment. Just think of yourself as being at the feet of god – each moment let that be your.… Breathe it in, Breathe it out; let that be your very climate. And things are going to happen! Good.

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