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CHAPTER 13
Unless you meet god how can you be satisfied
15 June 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
[A sannyasin says he has a lot of tension in his back and neck – tension that is so painful at times that it totally occupies his attention.It comes in the silent parts of the meditations.
Osho asks him for details, and then checks his energy.]
It is concerned with meditation, so don’t think about it as a disease or as if something is wrong, mm? – it is perfectly good. It will disappear; you need not be worried about it. When it comes next time, just close your eyes and concentrate there where it is; focus your whole concentration there.
First you will find a big patch of pain: go on focusing and you will find that it is shrinking, becoming smaller, smaller, smaller. Go on looking deeper into it; forget everything and don’t try to evade it. Don’t try to prevent it being there. Don’t condemn it; it is something beautiful that is happening.
Once it goes the energy will rise higher. It is just passing a certain block, so you feel the pain. Go on looking, and by and by you will be able to see that the spot is shrinking and is becoming smaller, smaller and smaller. Then it will become just like a pinpoint: it will be almost impossible to keep alert of it. For moments you will miss it, again it will be there you will miss it, again it will be there. The smaller the area of pain, the more intense it will be. When it is there just like a pinpoint it will be very very piercing and sharp.
When you have come to the final atomic state of it.Mm? this is bringing it to an atomic state; that’s
what in homeopathy they call potency. The smaller dose has more potency, so the homeopath goes on making the dose smaller and smaller and smaller. And that is exactly what modern physics has found – that the atom has the most vital energy in it.
And that’s what you have to do: go on making it smaller and smaller, smaller and smaller. When it becomes just an atom... by atom, I mean when you cannot make it smaller, it cannot be divided any more, you have come to the last particle of it. That is the meaning of the word atom: no more divisible. You have come to the last, the ultimate unit: then it will become very sharp – sharper than you can imagine, incredibly sharp. It will cut you like a sword, but then immediately it will disappear, disappear forever, and the block will have been crossed.
It will take some time, but go on doing it. And don’t take it as something wrong. Be happy about it! Have a very very positive attitude about it – it is not negative. Nothing to be worried about! Good!
[The tantra group is present. One participant says she feels an underlying sadness in everything, but there is no reason for it. Osho checks her energy.]
Don’t make a problem out of it; it is not a problem at all. It is very very natural to you... it is exactly your pace.
There are different wavelengths with people. For a few people, sadness is not a problem. In fact, it should not be called sadness as far as they are concerned: it is a kind of sobriety, it is a kind of calmness, quietude. you can force yourself to come out of it but that will take effort and you will feel tired. Simply relax into it. This is perfectly okay; nothing is wrong in it.
One of the greatest problems that faces every human being is not to compare with others – otherwise you will create many problems.
Somebody has a great laugh and you start comparing: ‘I never laugh like that, so something must be wrong!’ But it may not be natural for you to laugh that way; only smiling may be natural to you. You can force the laughter; then you will destroy your smile. That laughter will be shallow and false and violent.It depends on different people. People are so unique that nothing about you is comparable
with anybody else.
So just look into yourself. My feeling is that your sadness is not sadness: it is just a kind of silence, a kind of at-ease inside you. But when you see other people dancing and bubbling with joy, you start comparing – out of comparison, the problem.
Just think: if you are alone in the world and there is nobody else, will you call this sadness? You won’t... it is not! Yes, some people are sad, then they have to be brought out of it; but you are not sad that way. Your energy is perfectly okay. You are not a very extrovert person mm? – more of an introvert. You want to be with yourself more and then you feel easier, at home.
Yes, good – you can talk to people and meet with people, but too long with them and you start feeling a little restlessness. In the crowd you feel you are missing something; alone with yourself, you feel happier. Certainly your happiness will not become a belly-laughter – no; it will be at the most a smile, but that’s how it has to be with you.
One person’s medicine is another person’s poison... so never compare. Just look inside: if things are going well and you are feeling okay, it is perfectly okay. Drop that idea!
[Another group member said she cannot find satisfaction in anything she does. Throughout her life she has felt a dissatisfaction – in alcohol, in drugs, and now with food... I’m too afraid of facing this feeling.]
Mm mm – no, nothing to be worried about. Nobody is ever satisfied; people only differ in degrees of dissatisfaction. And the reason is that unless you meet god, how can you be satisfied? Drugs won’t do, food won’t do, sex won’t doIt is a deep urge for god, for the whole, so you can try everything
and everything fails. Everything is bound to fail, because only god can succeed.
Nothing is wrong with you, nothing is wrong with your effort to satisfy yourself. That’s how one stumbles in the dark, gropes in the dark. There is no other way – this is the only way: we are in the dark, we find ourselves in the dark and we want the light so we start groping. Sometimes we find them, small candles, very momentarily. One moment the light is there, another moment it is gone. How can one be satisfied? One needs eternal light.
Our hunger is for god – hence the continuous dissatisfaction. And it is good that you are aware. The really unfortunate people are those who are not aware of this. They are unsatisfied but they go on pulling along somehow. They think ‘Maybe a little more money, and satisfaction will be coming; another drug, a better drug, or better food or a more beautiful woman, or something’.but their mind
remains the same. They have not yet looked deeply into it; they have not seen the fact that nothing satisfies and nothing is going to satisfy.
Yes, it is very very difficult to face it because that means that one feels utterly frustrated and hopeless. So we avoid facing it.but my whole effort here is to bring you to this comer, to force you
into this comer so you have to recognise this fact – that nothing is going to satisfy! Out of that great dissatisfaction something is born. That’s what god is.…
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