5

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‌CHAPTER 5

8 June 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Anand means bliss and prashantam means a very very deep silence, peace.

To be deeply peaceful is going to be your sadhana that you have to create around you. It is just a knack. Whenever you remember, just be deeply relaxed and feel peaceful as many times in the day as possible. The more you do, the better. After a few days you will feel, without any doing on your part, that peace has been established. It follows you like a shadow.

There are many levels of peace. There is one that you can produce just by feeling it, just by giving yourself a deep suggestion that you are peaceful; that is the first layer. The second layer is that of which you suddenly become aware. You don’t create it. But the second happens only if the first is there; otherwise it never happens.

The second is the real thing but the first helps to create the way for it to come. Peace comes. but before it comes, as a pre – requisite you have to create a mental peace around you.

The first peace will just be mental. It will be more like an auto-hypnosis; it is created by you. Then one day suddenly you will see that the second peace has surfaced. It has nothing to do with your doing or with you. In fact it is deeper than you. It comes from the very source of your being, the unidentified being, the undemarcated being, the unknown being.

We know ourselves only on the surface. A small place is identified as you. A small wave is named, labelled, as you. Just within that wave, deep down, is the great ocean.

So Prashantam – to be deeply peaceful – is going to be your method. Sitting, walking... one can walk in a tense way, one can sit in a tense way. One can sit in a peaceful way, one can walk in a

peaceful way. So whatsoever you are doing, always remember to create peace around it. And this is not the goal; it is just the means.

Once you have created peace, something of the beyond will fill it. It will be nothing out of your effort. Once that comes you can drop the auto-hypnotic method. There is no need for it.

That second is called anand – bliss. It is not only peace. The first is just peace, and in a way it is negative. There is no turmoil in it, no sickness or neurosis in it, but it is just a negation of the wrong. The second is a positive something; not that it is only an absence, it is a presence. That will come.…

[A sannyasin asks: Is there a conflict between sannyas and Judaism?]

No, no, there is no conflict because sannyas is not a faith, it is not a religion. There is no conflict between sannyas and any other religion jewish, christian, mohammedan, hindu. There is no conflict because in the first place it is not a religion. Rather it is a sort of religiousness; not exactly a religion. It is not that you belong to a certain sect, a certain creed – because I have no creed – but that you fall in love with me. It is just a love-affair. It is more like a trust than a faith.

You would like to be open to me, that’s all. You would like to walk a few steps with me into the unknown, that’s all. You remain a jew if you are a jew. You remain a christian if you are a christian. If a moment comes in your life when you drop your creed, that is for you to decide. It has nothing to do with me; it is your trip. But for me there is no problem.

All that I can do is to help you to become more religious. I impart a certain quality, not a creed.

I would like you to see a few glimpses through my eyes. Then you go on your way, but those glimpses will become very fundamental to you. Wherever you are, whatsoever you are doing, your inner quality, your being, will have changed tremendously through those glimpses.

So if you go to the synagogue to pray, you will be praying in a very deep and tremendously new way. If you go to a mosque or to a church, it makes no difference.

I don’t give you a prayer, I give you the quality of how to pray.

So the prayer is for you to choose – christian, jewish, hindu, mohammedan; you can choose any. I simply impart to you a quality, a knack of praying. So what language you use, what terminology you use and what framework of philosophy you use, it is for you to decide. That’s none of my business.

So I am not in any conflict with any faith, in a way. In a way I am in conflict with every faith because all those faiths have lost what you call prayer, they have lost what you call meditation. They have forgotten the whole language of ecstasy. They have all become intellectuals: creeds, dogmas, systems. There are many words but the meaning is missing, the significance is lost. And that is natural. I don’t complain about it. It has to be so.

When a Jesus is alive, religion walks on the earth, and those few who are fortunate enough to recognise him, live in the impact of a living religion. They are face to face with God.

Jesus is nothing but a word uttered by God. That’s what christians say – ‘The word embodied; word has become flesh.’ That’s beautiful. Through Jesus, God approaches you. If you are fortunate enough to recognise it and to walk a few steps with Jesus, you will be transformed. It is not that you become a christian – that’s superficial – but something of Christ enters you. Something transpires between you and Christ. You become prayerful. You have different eyes to see with, a different heart that beats. Everything remains the same but you change.

The trees are green but now in a different way. The greenery has become alive. You can almost touch the life surrounding you. But when Jesus is gone, whatsoever he says, or has said, is formulated, systematised. Then people become christian intellectually, but the living God is no more there.

It is the same when a Moses is here; it is something different.… A tremendous volcano of energies... a man who transforms a whole race; makes a whole race totally different – so different that the race almost becomes a chosen race of God.

But when a Moses is gone, things resettle. Then man again starts moving on the earth with material things, and the Poetry is no more there. Words are there but the poetry is no more there.

So in a way I am not in any conflict because I am not giving you a faith. Faith is a dead trust. In fact you don’t trust but you still believe. That’s what faith is: given by birth, by accident. It is just accident that you are a hindu or a mohammedan or a jew; just coincidence that you were brought up as a jew. You could have been been brought up as a hindu and then you would never have thought about Moses and Abraham; never. Even in your dreams they would not have entered. They would have remained outside your world. You would have thought of Krishna and Rama, and if you were a buddhist, of Buddha, or of Mohammed if you were mohammedan. But these are accidents of life.

How can you believe just by being born in a certain family? The belief is just in the mind because you have been conditioned. Trust is something alive.

It is not just an accident that you are with me here for these moments. You have chosen to be here. You have travelled long... thousands of miles. You have waited for many months. You have thought about me... you have dreamed about me. So here you are by your own choice. When you choose something it is totally different. When it is just given to you as a gift by the father and the mother and the society, then of course it is nothing.

Trust is alive. It is just like love.

Or see the difference this way. You have a sister. This is an accident that you are a brother to her. You love her, of course, because she is your sister. But when you fall in love with a woman which has nothing to do with your birth, that love has a passion in it which you can never feel for your sister or for your brother – because it is just by birth that someone is your brother. You feel for him, you care for him, you love him. But when you fall in love with a woman, you are ready to die for her. You know that if you cannot get her your life will be a sheer wastage, and if you can get her then you have attained and your dream is fulfilled.

This cannot happen between a brother and a sister, because it is just because of birth that you love. Your love is formal. If you were not told that she was your sister, you may not even have looked at

her. But this woman, who suddenly in the first glimpse captures your heart, is not a sister; she has no relationship with you. She has come just out of the blue and suddenly you are no more the same person.

Trust is like love and faith is just like being brother and sister.

So I am not against any faith. But in a deep way, if you come with me, you are going to change, and then everything that you are associated with is going to change. But on the formal level you can continue. Why disturb formal things? You are a jew, so perfectly good. There is no need to disturb anybody.

Let my relationship with you be of the heart.

You can go to the synagogue and you can go to the church or wherever you will, but I will give you something which will give you a new quality to see old things too. You may read the Talmud but you will read with new eyes. Many things that you have been reading but which you have always missed, and which have never . penetrated you, suddenly will become significant... will jump out of the pages and hit your heart. And a new meaning arises. You have read that passage many times, you can repeat it by memory, but it has never been significant because significance cannot be learned by rote.

Significance is not in the words. Significance is something that you bring to the words. You pour it into the words and the words become alive again. They start moving, beating, pulsating.

So the question is perfectly right. Everybody has to think about it.

[The sannyasin, who is a conjourer and magician, shows Osho some card tricks.]

So some other day you can show many more tricks. I liked it!... Good! And these can be very helpful, because in India many so-called religious people – Satya Sai Baba and others – are simply doing magic tricks and befooling the whole world and saying that they are doing some miracles. All they are doing are ordinary magic tricks. Magicians can do far better things than them.

So one thing can be done – and can be of much help to many people’s growth. You can make a small group and tour all over the world showing to every place these tricks that Satya Sai Baba and others are doing. Just tell people that these are tricks and this is an art and has nothing to do with any miracles. Many people are caught because of these tricks. That can be very very helpful to the world.

... Mm, but do it with this idea – to expose these charlatans. Then it can be very very creative. There is no need to tell them how you do it. Simply tell them this much, that these are all just artful tricks and nothing to do with miracles.

[The sannyasin replies: One of my subjects is the real and the unreal.]

Mm! That’s what you have to do. It can be very very useful. Think about that.

And Mukta [by Osho’s side], any day before he leaves, he can show his many more tricks. One day you can call all the sannyasins so they can enjoy. That will be better. One evening in the auditorium, all the sannyasins can come and he can show. And I will be there! Good! [chuckling]

[A sannyasin says: I’m pregnant. It’s very difficult because I feel I cannot be a mother for many reasons. I feel I am not listening to you.]

No, you are listening, and you will become ready for being a mother also. But this time if you are not, abortion is good.

One should be perfectly ready to be a mother – only then give birth to a child. It is a great responsibility. One should not simply go on reproducing, because then there is no love. One should be caring.

If you are going to give birth to a child, before you give birth to the child, you must give birth to your being a mother. Otherwise who is going to take care of the child? You may be able to nurse but that is not the point of being a mother.

It is the greatest creative work in the world – to be a mother. Man has always felt jealous of women because he cannot become a mother. So if you are not feeling it is the time, don’t force it; get an abortion. The soul can find some other womb. There is no problem about it so don’t feel guilty about it.

And next time when you are ready, mm? Good. [The Encounter group was at darshan tonight.

A group member said: In meditation today I had a lot of movements and twitching in my head.] No, there is nothing to worry about. It is a good thing. Energy is moving; allow it.

Even a slight worry about it and a sort of repression immediately happens. If you worry about anything you immediately start stopping it. You may not knowingly do it but the very worry functions like a stoppage. It puts the energy off.

Cooperate with it. It will disappear when the work is done.

Ratnakara means the ocean and anand means bliss – an ocean of bliss. Start feeling that way from this moment, because whatever we think we become. All becoming is a project. Once you have the idea deep-rooted in your being, it is going to sprout and spread all over. Whatsoever you are is nothing but yesterday’s ideas, and whatsoever you are going to be will be nothing but today’s ideas. Each idea projects its own being and makes a path for you to move. It gives a passage to your being to follow.

The word ‘project’ is good. It means throwing yourself ahead: project. So the idea is nothing but throwing yourself ahead. It clears the way. It becomes the vanguard and then you follow.

So from this very moment, remember yourself as an ocean of bliss. If anger comes, remember that you are an ocean of bliss and suddenly you will see that the anger seems to just be foolish. It does not belong to you. You are separate from it so how can you be angry?

If something comes as a distraction, remember that you are an ocean of bliss, and that very remembrance will cut you away from that distraction.

In India, sannyas names have been given for centuries with a deep purpose. Whenever somebody calls you or you sign your name, again and again, again and again, a certain idea is emphasised, enforced, so that becomes a feedback continuously.

[The new sannyasin says the group was good but scarey.]

Right! very good... because if it’s just good and not scarey, then it is not good enough.

Whenever something is really good it is scarey also, because it brings you some insights. It forces you towards certain changes. It brings you to a brink from where, if you go back, you will never forgive yourself. If you go ahead, it is dangerous. That’s what scares. If you can go back easily, there is no problem. But these are insights from which you cannot go back. If you go, you will never be able to forgive yourself. You will always remember yourself as a coward.

And if you go ahead there is danger, because it is something new – something so totally new that you have no acquaintance of it. It is unfamiliar, strange – moving in a foreign land where the people, the territory, everything, is unknown. So a certain fear arises.

If somebody says that a group was good, then I know that not much has happened. He enjoyed the group so it proved a sort of spiritual amusement or a psychological game. He enjoyed it as one enjoys a movie or a good novel. But then he is finished. It has not done something drastic to his being so he is not afraid. But it has done something to you; you will never be the same. In these three months many more points will come and you will become even more scared. Wait for them.

Whenever there is some fear, always remember not to go back, because that is not the way to solve it. Go into it. If you are afraid of the dark night, go into the dark night – because that is the only way to overcome it. That is the only way to transcend the fear. Go into the night; there is nothing more important than that. Wait, sit there alone and let the night work.

If you fear, tremble. Let the trembling be there but tell the night, ‘Do whatsoever you want to do. I am here.’ After a few minutes you will see that everything has settled. The darkness is no more dark. It has come to be luminous. You will enjoy it. You can touch it – the velvety silence, the vastness... the music. You will be able to enjoy it and you will say, ‘How foolish I was to be afraid of such a beautiful exprience!’

Whenever there is fear, never escape from it. Otherwise that will become a block and your being will never be able to grow in that dimension. In fact, take hints from fear. Those are the directions in which you need to travel. Fear is simply a challenge. It calls you – ‘Come !’

So in these three months there will be many fearful spaces. Take the challenge and go into them. Never escape and never be a coward. Then one day, hidden behind each fear, you will find treasures. That’s ,how a man becomes multi-dimensional.

And all that’s alive will always give you fear. Dead things don’t give you fear because there is no challenge in them. So it has been good. I will be working now.

You are a sannyasin. I am involved with you now. Now, whatsoever you do, I am also responsible.

[A group member says: I don’t feel that I did much work in the group but a lot of changes seem to be happening.]

Very good. Sometimes it happens even without your work. If you are available, then, even not doing much, much happens. If you are not available, you may do much and nothing may happen – because the basic thing is availability, openness.

Sometimes if you are really open, nothing is needed to be done. You just remain open and things happen and they take you in their stride. You simply rise with the wave. With the group consciousness expanding, you expand. With the group moving into certain spaces, you move. You simply move with the group, not doing anything on your own part – as if you have left your boat to the sea, to the winds, so wherever the winds go, you go.

A group is like a wind... so many people and moving tremendously in a certain direction. If you are available, that’s enough.

Sometimes I see people doing much, they try hard, and nothing happens. They are trying hard but they are not open so they don’t allow the group to take them, to possess them. They are closed people.

So the most basic thing is to be open. And if you can also do – opening plus doing – then there will be much more.

[A sannyasin says: When I’m at darshan I feel I am really surrendering, but when I’m in the ashram, I’ve lots of doubts about the ashram. I don’t feel as surrendered as when I’m here.]

Mm mm, possible, and nothing to feel guilty about. In a way, it is natural. But the whole concern should be with me, not with the ashram. Your whole attention should be towards me. You are not to surrender to the ashram, so that is not the problem. The surrender is going towards me. The ashram only comes in from the back door. You surrender to me and now I say to you to surrender to the ashram also, but that is nothing for you to worry about. You are not to decide to do it.

I have to create many situations in this ashram which will test your trust and which will create many doubts in you. They are there as devices, because if everything is completely in agreement with your mind and then you surrender, that surrender is bogus. That will be my surrender to you, not your surrender to me. If everything is according to your mind and then you surrender, it is my surrender to you.

Remember, nothing is going to be according to your mind. If I find something which is according to your mind, I will disturb it. I will not allow that [laughter] because that becomes a challenge to you. And if you still surrender, then surrender is a transforming force, otherwise not.

But that is not the point at all. You need not be worried about the ashram or other people. There are hundreds of sannyasins so it is going to be in hundreds of directions. But that’s natural. You have only to think about me and about you. It is a personal, an absolutely personal relationship.

Sannyas is not becoming part of an organisation. It is becoming part of me.

When I am gone it will be, of course, becoming part of the ashram. But while I am here, don’t waste time. Once I am gone you will repent and then there will only be the ashram. Right now, don’t waste your energies in any other distractions. Right? Good !

[A group member said she felt very closed. Osho asked if she wanted to open or not. She replied that she was not sure, but did want to.]

Mm, mm... no, deep down you don’t want to. Otherwise there is no problem. I don’t see any problem in you.

There are a few people who want to open and cannot because there are certain blocks and their energy is blocked. They want to come out of the room but there is no door, or the door is locked, or has remained unopened for so long that now it is almost impossible to open it. They want to come out. They beat hard on the door.

But you don’t have any block; you don’t have any problem. It is just that you don’t want to open. Once you decide to open, there will be no trouble. Nobody can help you to open – because if you don’t want to come out of it and then you simply pretend the game of trying to come out of it but deep down you don’t want to, nobody can help. That’s why you are saying it is hopeless. You are saying it to convince yourself that it is hopeless so nothing can be done. That is not the real state.

You can do it immediately, right now. You can save Teertha all effort. If you decide, you can open right now. It is just a decision on your part – so simple and so easy. But if you want to remain closed, if you have certain vested interests in remaining closed, then of course nobody can open you; there is no way. Even if you are brought out, you will run. Even if the door is broken, you will not come out. Or, even if the walls are removed, you may close your eyes and sit there and say, ‘How can I come out?’ If you are not ready to come out, nobody can bring you out.

These groups can help people if they are ready to come out. So you will have to meditate upon it. What is at stake? What is your vested interest in remaining closed? Why are you enjoying it? Why are you helping it to be so? Are you afraid of certain things if you become open? Are you afraid that if you become open you will become vulnerable, and that if you become open you will be exposed to the world? Then who knows? – somebody may do harm. Are you afraid that if you open and start relating with people, people may reject you or might take advantage of you if you are open? These must be considered, mm? You have to just meditate upon it.

If you feel you have some vested interest in your closedness, and if you decide to remain closed, then there is no problem. But remember, closedness is to nobody’s benefit, and closedness can never become a blissful state to anybody. Closedness is slow suicide. You may not feel the poison right now because it is in very mild doses, but closedness is a slow suicide. And because of being closed you will not be able to love. You will not allow anybody to love you. You will miss the greatest mystery of life.

Love is the greatest mystery, and it happens only to very rare people who are open.

It can happen to everybody, because everybody can be open. It is just like a bud not opening. If the bud is not going to open, how is it going to become a flower? And how is it going to release the fragrance to the winds? Unless it releases its fragrance to the winds, unless it shares its being with the whole, it is going to remain unfulfilled.

You are like a bud, afraid that if you open you may lose your fragrance; afraid that if you are open, then who knows?

People remain closed as a safety measure. It is more secure. You can avoid people. You can always remain at a distance so that nobody can approach you and nobody can harm you, and before anybody rejects you, you can always reject. You are always the first to reject, so the ego feels very very fulfilled. But it is a very very morbid enjoyment, perverse.

Real life is always in danger. The more danger, the more life. The more insecurity, the more life.

So meditate over it. It is not a question of any blocks; you have none. It is simply a pure decision. If you have the intention to open, you will open immediately. So don’t play the game ! Otherwise you are trying to play a game with yourself. You are trying to convince yourself – ‘I am trying hard to open but what to do? I seem to be hopeless, so nothing can be done.’ You are in a double-bind: you don’t want to open but you don’t want to recognise the fact that you don’t want to open.

On the one hand you are playing the game of trying to open yourself and on the other hand you go on tightening yourself. So you can be happy both ways. All that you think is good in being closed is there, and all that you think is good in at least pretending one is trying to be open is there too. But that’s not the way, the right way, the healthy way. Never be in a double-bind, because it is self-destructive.

I am giving you a tremendous power: the power to change yourself just by intending to change.

After seven days, come back and tell me what you have decided. If you decide to remain closed, I can find devices for how to close completely so that there is not even a small leakage. I can give you a small cave, and you can enter it and die. But if you decide to open, there is nothing to be done... just the decision.

Man is so absolutely free to be whatsoever he wants to be. It is all our choice. So never say ‘hopeless’. That is a trick – a trick to avoid your own responsibility, your own power. Man is absolutely free to be whatsoever he decides to be.

Existentialists have a very particular terminology for it, and it is beautiful. They say that man is born just as pure existence, not as essence. You don’t bring any essence with you. You are simply born as pure existence. What your essence is you decide later on by your acts. So whatsoever you want to be, you become. It is not that you are born with a certain ideal in you, a certain destiny.

For example a seed has a certain destiny. It can become a certain flower, that’s all. It cannot change, it cannot become anything else. The seed has a certain destiny hidden in it. The essence is there already. It has just to unfold. But man is totally different. He is not like a seed.

You are simply pure existence. Whatsoever you decide, you become. If you decide to become a rose, you become a rose. If you decide to become a lotus, you become a lotus. It is not that you carry a seed within you. Man is total freedom.

Realise that. Meditate on it, and after seven days tell me how you are feeling. If you come across this point – that it is you who is deep down resisting the opening – then there is nothing to be done. Simply relax. And this can be done in a single moment. No process is needed. If you understand what I am saying you can even move immediately, right now, and open. Nobody is hindering you. These are your petals which you are keeping closed. Relax !

It is almost like this.… [Osho looked down at his hand and held it fistshaped, tightly.] I am keeping this fist closed. To keep it closed, effort is needed. If I want to keep it closed I will have to make an effort, give it energy. For opening, no effort is needed; I simply don’t try to keep it closed and it opens. Opening is natural, closing is unnatural. So you are wasting much energy in trying to keep yourself closed.

Once you see the point, you simply relax and it opens.

[A group member says: Today I really got in touch with not feeling compassion towards other people... seeing them and judging them and not feeling compassion.]

That’s a good realisation. People simply think they have compassion. Compassion is a very rare quality. It comes only to a very high, developed soul. Sympathy is possible, but compassion is a very very high-level thing.

So this is a good insight – that you have come to feel that you don’t have any compassion. Now there will be a possibility of your having it. First one has to realise that one is carrying a counterfeit, a false coin, which is not compassion but which one has been thinking is compassion. When you realise that it is not compassion, you drop it. And by dropping it you create an absence in you where it is possible for compassion to enter.

So don’t feel sad about it. It is a tremendously valuable insight that you don’t have any compassion. Of course it makes you sad. You feel depressed. You feel as if you have lost something – but you never had it. Still one feels one has lost something; at least in the dream one had it.

Meditate more, and one day by and by you will see that the compassion is arising. But don’t try to have that false compassion again.

That is the trouble with false things: they take up space in you, and they don’t leave space for the real thing to enter. If your pocket is full of false coins and you think that you are rich, why worry? Once you come to know that you are a beggar and all coins are false, suddenly you become sad because the whole money is lost. But now you can find out ways where and how one gets real money.

The false money is gone – good. Half the work is done. Now the other half has to be done. The real money has to be searched for, mm? Soon glimpses of compassion will be coming. When the first glimpse comes to you, come and report to me, mm ? Good !

[A group member says: I found out in the group that all my feelings seem to be wrong or just games.]

... So you do Aum and Tathata. And in those groups don’t be worried about whether it is a game or a role. Even if it is a game, play it well. Even if it is a game, make it real. Even if it is a role, let it be, but know it so deeply that it becomes a reality.

Right now you cannot make the distinction between what is real and what is unreal, but only later on when a very integrated consciousness arises, can you have the distinction between what is real and what is unreal; not before it.

It is just as if you are in a dream. In the dream, the dream seems real, and you cannot make a distinction in the dream between what is real and what is unreal. All is unreal, but in a dream everything is real. Only in the morning when you are awake, you suddenly become aware that the whole dream was unreal.

So it is not that a few things are real in your life and a few things are unreal. In this state, when man is unaware, everything is unreal like a dream, but everything looks real.

In another state, when man becomes awakened, becomes a Buddha, then everything is real; nothing is unreal. So it is not that a few things are real and a few unreal. If you are not aware then everything is unreal. If you are aware, everything is real. But you will be able to know only what was unreal when you are awake, not before that.

So right now, don’t make any trouble. Whatsoever is, is. You are in a dream, and you have to fulfill the dream as efficiently as possible because once the dream is fulfilled and the dreamwork fulfilled, you will be awake. When the sleep is complete and the body satisfied, you will awake. Then you will be able to know that the whole thing was unreal. It was not that a few things were real in the dream and a few things unreal – the whole lot !

So simply do these two groups as totally as you can – real or unreal, don’t be bothered. Even if it is unreal, it is real for you. And then tell me, remind me again, mm? Don’t be worried.

[A visitor says: I do not know what is real and what is unreal. I do not know what is true and what is untrue.]

Mm mm. A blind man cannot see darkness. To see darkness, eyes are needed.

Never think that blind people are in darkness. They cannot see so they cannot see darkness either. If you can see darkness, eyes are there. The same eyes can see light, so there is no problem.

And the two doors in the room both lead to illusion. It is not a question of choosing between truth and illusion, because all doors that are outside you, lead into illusion. The truth is within you. It is in the very heart of the seeker.

So if on one door is written ‘illusion’ and on another is written ‘truth’, don’t bother to choose between them. Both are illusory.

You are truth. Truth is your very consciousness.

Become more alert and more conscious. It is not a question of choosing between doors. The darkness is there because you are unconscious, so-no light from the outside can help. I can give you a lamp right now but it won’t help. By the time you have reached your room, it will be out. You have to become more conscious, more and more conscious and alert so your inner flame, only that, will enlighten your surroundings. In that light you will see that all doors have disappeared. The door that was illusion and the door that was truth – both have disappeared. They were both in conspiracy. In fact, they both lead to the same place. They just give you an illusion of choice. So whatsoever you choose, you always choose the same thing. They both lead to the same passage. Eventually you end up in illusion. So that is not the problem.

The problem is how to become more alert. These groups are just to help you to become more alert. Anger is there, so become more alert about it. Fear is there – you say that you are afraid of the darkness. Become more aware of the fear. I’m not going to give you a prescription of how to overcome the fear. No, that is not going to be of any help.

My prescription is to become more aware of it and to live with it. Don’t try to escape from it. Once you start living with it, fear will disappear. If you run, it increases. The more you run, the more afraid you will become. And then it is a vicious circle. The more you become afraid, the more you run. The more you run, the more you become afraid. Then there is no end to it. Stop! There is no need to run. If it is dark, let it be. Start looking into the darkness.

Have you watched sometimes that if you come into your room it looks dark? Then you sit and rest and by and by the darkness disappears. The room is full of light. It is not that something has happened. It is just that your eyes have become accustomed to looking into the darkness.

It is said that thieves start seeing in the dark more clearly than anybody else because they have to work in darkness. They have to enter unfamiliar houses and on every step there is danger. They may stumble upon something. By and by, they start seeing in the dark. Darkness is not so dark for them. It becomes almost light enough for them to move about and do things.

So don’t be afraid. Be like a thief. Sit with closed eyes and look into the darkness as deeply as possible. Let that be your meditation.

Every day for thirty minutes sit in the corner, close your eyes, and create darkness – as dark as you can imagine – and then look into that darkness. If it is difficult just think of a blackboard in front of you, so dark and so black. By and by you will be able to imagine more darkness. You will be tremendously surprised that the more you look into darkness, the more clear your eyes become.

And if fear is there, allow it. In fact, one should enjoy it. Let it be there; start trembling. If the fear starts a certain vibration in you, allow it, tremble. Get as much frightened as possible. Almost be possessed by fear... and see how beautiful it is. It is almost like a bath ... and much dust will go with it. When you come out of that trembling you will feel very very alive, throbbing with life, pulsating with a new energy, rejuvenated.

So these two things – darkness and fear – you have to work on. Make them great companions. Create a friendship between you and darkness, between you and fear.

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