21

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‌CHAPTER 21

24 June 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Prem means love and vedika means the innermost shrine of the divine; love, the innermost shrine of the divine.

And love is the innermost shrine of the divine. That is going to be your path. Just be loving. Make it the very climate of your being. Whatsoever you are doing just touching something – make it a deep love. Whatsoever is touched by love is transformed into the divine. Just sitting silently, feel full of love, but not addressed to anybody in particular... just unaddressed love... just ripples of love arising out of you and moving towards the whole universe. That will be very helpful to you.

Vedika... will it be easy to pronounce? It is one of the most beautiful words.

And I know that you are worried about [your husband’s] drinking, but don’t be worried, and in no way nag him about it. No, not at all. Just help him, but never nag, because nagging can create trouble

. and that gives a reaction to the mind. So if he drinks, it is okay... one accepts it. By and by, it will dropAnd I will do something, mm?

... It will go... nothing to be worried about. But never say anything about it; never raise the subject. Just love him, serve him, and if he is a drunkard, he is! [a chuckle] One loves, that’s all.

[A sannyasin said she was going from one extreme to another – very high to very low: I suppose I need to just be a little more detached from it.]

No, that will not be good right now, because that can be done but then you will feel very dull. It can be done – there is not much trouble in it – but then you would even like the low, because even the low has a certain excitement in it.

So what I will suggest is not that you neutralise it, but that you start enjoying the low also, because it has certain qualities which can be enjoyed. Otherwise you will become very dull. There will be no high and there will be no low. You will be moving on plain ground but then there will be no adventure. You will feel lethargic, depressed, almost dead. Right now that will not be good. It will not be real detachment, it will become an indifference.

Real detachment cannot be practised. It is a byproduct. So my suggestion is: first start finding some beautiful things which are hidden in the low moment. There are a few beautiful things. For example, it is silent, sad, and one does not want to go out. One wants to be alone. Use this energy of the low. When you feel you are low, immediately forget aU about the high. Forget all about pleasure, joy. Then use sadness as your meditation – ‘Now this is a low moment. I’m going to relax.’ So relax, don’t move with people, don’t go outside too much. Just go deep inside yourself. That’s how one can use the low. Then you will feel tremendously beautiful in the low also. There will be no excitement, but there will be a sort of silence, a deep silence.

It may not feel light, but there will be a deep darkness. It is very soothing. And one needs it – that’s why it comes immediately after the high. In the high you are so excited that the whole body-system gets tired. The energy moves so high that it has to come back, otherwise you will go mad. That low is preventing your madness, otherwise you would react to it.

Right now you simply feel as if you are going to explode, but you cannot because an inner mechanism prevents it. You can only go to a certain extent and then suddenly the inner mechanism comes to life. It is automatic. It is not left to your will, otherwise sometimes you can forget and you can get too much energy and go mad.

Many people go mad when their inner mechanism is not functioning well. Then they go to a high and they don’t know how to come back to a low. The automatic mechanism is not functioning so they are stuck there. That’s why they are mad. If somehow they can be brought low they will be perfectly normal.

Everybody goes to those peaks, but people know how to come down. In fact, you are not needed to know. Your system works in such a way; it has its own inner economy. It goes only so far, it allows that much freedom, and then immediately everything is pulled back and you have to move to the extreme opposite, otherwise there will be no relaxation.

It is just as when you have been working the whole day and in the night you fall asleep. Nobody complains: ‘I am awake for the whole day and in the night I fall asleep and become unconscious. These are extremes. I would like to be in a balance.’ That means you will not be either awake or asleep; you will be in a limbo – a little awake and a little asleep. That will not be worth anything. You will move like a ghost – neither in nor out – and in everything you will be in a limbo, hanging. But nobody complains about it, because we know that it is natural.

This too is natural. That’s, why it follows immediately. It is just like a wave and the wake; it follows immediately. It is just like the peak and the valley; it follows immediately, and there is no gap really. It is one movement. The wave and the wake, the peak and the valley, the high and the low, are one movement, are one unit. So just to to find some beautiful things in the low which you can enjoy. And enjoy them to your heart’s desire.

And the second thing: try to find beautiful things in the high moments – because everything is not beautiful there either. That’s why you feel like exploding. A high has fifty percent beautiful things and fifty percent ugly things, just as a low has fifty percent beautiful things and fifty percent ugly things. So what I am suggesting is to choose the fifty percent beautiful things in the high and the fifty percent beautiful things from the low moments. And there is no problem of neutralising it. When you go to the high and the low you enjoy both. Waking, you enjoy waking; sleeping, you enjoy sleep. Hungry, you enjoy hunger, and satisfied, you enjoy being satisfied.

When you are high, excitement is the wrong thing. That can make one nervous. It can give you an inner shaking, a trembling. It can give you a sort of haziness. So when high, be joyful, be blissful, but drop that excitement part. Breathe silently when you are high... slow down the breathing. If you are walking, slow down the walking. If you are doing something, slow down. Then the high will be prolonged and you will enjoy it more. It will be more nourishing and will not give you a feeling as if you are going crazy.

So let that ecstasy be there but don’t make it an excitement. Excitement is the wrong part of the high, and getting depressed is the wrong part of the low. So while low, don’t get depressed. Rather, feel very silent, alone. And when too high, feel very very silent. . .enjoy – but let it be joy, not indulgence. When there is no excitement, the joy spreads all over your being. Then it is not intense. It is spread more and you don’t feel that you are going crazy.

If you can enjoy both, by and by, one day you will find that they have been coming closer and closer and closer. One day they are just there. There is no high, no low. You are walking just in the middle. But then it is a byproduct. You have not done anything directly to achieve it. It is not indifference. It is non-attachment. Then it has a very mutable quality. It has all that is good and beautiful in the high and low, both together.

But if you to to practise it, then it will have all that is wrong in the low and all that is wrong in the high, both together. It will be one hundred percent wrong. So don’t to to practise it. Just enjoy both.

[She also said that she was too elated when offered praise for her work and too depressed when offered criticisms.

Osho said the same principle applied here. When praise is given one should not become too excited, but it is good to feel pleased that one’s work is appreciated. He said to always listen carefully to criticism, to take note of it, and to thank the person; to use it as an opportunity to improve.]

[A sannyasin reports: For two weeks I’ve been doing this method you told me to do. You told me to wake up in the morning and whatsoever mood I was in, to be the opposite... It’s made me feel much better and more alive. I enjoy everything more. And it put me in touch with a fear of being total. I’m thinking perhaps I need to become more and more aware.]

No, don’t bring that in right now. Things are going very well and your energy is flowing. Continue your meditation and rather than becoming more aware, become more happy.

Right now if you become more aware, you will become unhappy. When awareness does not bring unhappiness, then it is the right time to work on it. Right now you are in such a state that if you to

to be aware, you will be aware only of unhappiness and fear. So first change this space. And it can change because you have changed these last fifteen days. If you decide to be happy, you can be. If you wake up in a bad mood, you have to be happy. If you wake up in a happy mood, then you have to be unhappy. One day you will find yourself in difficulty because you will feel happy. Then there will be the real problem ! [laughter]

For two weeks continue this and I will wait for the day when you start getting up happy and you have to be unhappy. Then we will start awareness.

[The Enlightenment Intensive group is present. The groupleader says: I found myself doodling and saying, ‘Osho, am I doing a good job?’ And you said to me, ...’are you having a good time?’ [much laughter]

[chuckling] Right! And that is the right thing that you have understood: that you have to learn the game. You are not to be serious about it. It is a game... the whole of life is a game. Seriousness is a disease. So enjoy the game while it lasts and don’t be worried too much about it.

It is natural in the beginning to be concerned about what people are thinking, whether they appreciate you or not. It is natural, but by and by you have to drop that. It should become absolutely a game. Then you will not be tired at all. If you are not serious, it will not become such a head-trip. No theory in fact is needed. No need to rehearse it, no need to think about it. Just go into it.

People are there, you are there... something is bound to happen. Trust that. Trust friends, people, trust yourself. Soon I am going to start a group without a leader. There will be no leader, but something is bound to happen with people being together for three days. Something will start on its own.

So don’t be serious; simply float. Seriousness can become infectious, so if the leader becomes serious then the participants will become serious. If it gives you a headache, it will give headaches to others. So your head has to be clean – no headache.

[A group member says: it was the most beautiful experience I have ever known... I felt my whole life had changed. But today it feels as if it has gone – all of it.]

Mm, I understand. If a group takes you high, you are bound to fall very low. That is the price one has to pay for going very high. People who have not gone so high are not so unhappy. But this is good. One should be happy about it.

One should be happy that one has something which can be lost. You should be happy that you are feeling frustrated, because something has happened. In comparison to that, you are feeling unhappy and frustrated. If nothing had happened there would have been no frustration. That’s the whole attitude of how to look at things.

And what has happened will happen again. What has happened in the group can happen out of the group, because in fact it is not the group that is making it happen; it is you. You are allowing it to happen. And if you can learn how to allow it to happen, it can happen anywhere.

The whole of life is so tremendously beautiful and so tremendously graceful.…

[The monsoon had started only the day before.]

... listen to those rains and clouds. Life is such an ongoing, continuous bliss. Just be happy... be open to it.

Do one thing. When you go back home, just sit silently and allow it to happen again And don’t be worried It has nothing to do with the group. A group is just an opportunity to help. It has shown you the path. Now you know that it is possible, now you know that it can happen. Now you know that you are capable of it. This confidence is all that the group can give to you. It has been given to you. The group has worked tremendously well for you. It has functioned at its very peak.

All that the group really has given to you is a confidence that this can happen to you – a possibility, a vision of your own potentiality Now try it on your own. The frustration will disappear. So back home, just allow it to happen. Just remember exactly what you enjoyed so much – your blissfulness, being full of energy. Start dancing – move, shake, laugh. For one hour try to create it on your own. It will come. It may take a few minutes to bring it out, but by the end of one hour you will be able to.

And I will go on working on you, so don’t be afraid.

[A group member says: I enjoyed the group and I feel completely changed. But I feel confused. I’m not clear at all.]

That is the first clarity. People are unclear, but they are not even clear about their being unclear. People are confused, but they are so confused that they don’t even know that they are confused. This is the first clarity – that one starts feeling the whole confusion. It is good... very good, because this will become the very base of your future clarity. It is a beginning.

First a person starts feeling clear about his confusion, clear about his ignorance, clear that he does not know who he is. This is the first clarity. The group has done something very beautiful. You may not be alert about it right now, but later on you will be able to recapture it and to recognise it.

Just close your eyes and feel yourself deep in your belly... as if you are there, just below the navel.…

Every night before you go to sleep, do this for ten minutes – go into the belly, just like this. You did it well. The whole body will tremble and shake. Your hands were flowing with energy so beautifully. It simply shows that much change in the brain is happening, because the hands are the visible brain. The right hand is connected with the left brain, and the left hand is connected with the right brain. The hands are trembling with energy so much and much is happening in the brain.

So for ten minutes every night, just go berserk, and allow whatsoever happens, but remain in the belly. If you are in the head, nothing will happen. Move the head completely and this will remove the disturbance in the head. Simply go into the belly and remain there near the navel, and enjoy it.

This is entering one’s womb, and it is one of the most ancient exercises for changing a man’s mind. So do this every night and then go to sleep...

[One of the ashram Rolfers says: I’ve started Rolfing here – and it’s as if I’ve never Rolfed before. My perception is staggering – I’m seeing things I never saw before. And I’m just amazed, because it didn’t feel as if I were doing anything... ]

You are entering a totally different dimension. The milieu is different, and you will be moving in completely unknown territory. Many more things will be revealed to you, so just remain open – and never become an expert.

Always remain open to learning more, otherwise when people become expert in something, they close. That is the misfortune of all experts. Once you know that you know Rolfing; then finished! You go on repeating what you know but no more learning happens. In life nothing ends.

Real learning never becomes knowledge. Knowledge is a dead thing. Knowledge is when a learner has come to conclusions; then there is knowledge. Knowledge is conclusion. A learner is always on the way, moving, turning, finding new sources and new worlds.

A learner never becomes knowledgeable. That is the beauty of learning – it is alive. Knowledge is dead. Many more things will be revealed to you. That’s my whole purpose of being here. If you remain a learner and never become an expert, there is no end of knowing. One can go on and on, and the more you know, the more you become capable of knowing. The more knowing you have, the more humble you become.

And Rolfing is a tremendously beautiful technique. If you really move into it deeply, it will do more for you than for the person you are Rolfing. If it is not doing something for you, then it will not do anything for the person you are Rolfing. Maybe a little, but nothing very substantial. But if while Rolfing a person you are transformed and transfigured, then only something will happen to him also, because you are in it together. It is not that you are manipulating his body. You are not a manipulator. You are participating in his being... you are becoming one with him. It is like love.

It is not that the man is doing something to the woman, as it has always been thought... or some day it can become just the reverse – that the woman starts doing something to the man. It is not that one is doing something to the other. Both are moving in a world where no one is a doer and yet much happens. Both are part of a great energy that takes possession. Both are moving in a whirlwind. Two are moving, are in movement, but nobody is doing anything.

So that is the most essential thing to learn: while Rolfing, don’t become a manipulator. By and by, forget that you are Rolfing. Just become part of one process and then it will do as much for you as for the person rolfed and both will be benefited and enriched by it.

[A sannyasin says: The group was very good, and I’m tremendously full and with a lot of excitement, but it’s very patient.]

Very good. That’s how it should be. When there is great excitement and patience, it is beautiful. If patience is there and no excitement, one is dead. And if excitement is there and no patience, one is mad.

These two things together is the best combination that can happen in energy. So, very good.

[A sannyasin says: I have Feelings of ambivalence. My feelings are two – anger and love and sadness at the same time – and it is the same in my thoughts too. If I have one thought lying there, immediately the opposite thought comes.

Osho checks his energy.]

Nothing to be worried about. Both the hemispheres of the mind are working fifty-fifty. It rarely happens; usually one brain works more. If you are a rightist, the left brain functions more. If you are a leftist, the right brain functions more. But sometimes it can happen, as it is with you, that both brains are functioning perfectly parallel, almost fifty-fifty. You will feel ambivalent, but there is nothing to be worried about. This can be turned into a great blessing, because this ambivalence can become a neutralising force.

When one brain is functioning more, one is always a little lop-sided. When one loves, one goes to the extreme. When one hates, one goes to the extreme. You cannot go to the extreme...

Both your hemispheres are functioning in a very balanced way – that’s why the ambivalence One thought from the right side and one thought from the left side arise simultaneously and both have similar ways. It will be difficult in a way to know how to decide, but it can be done. Simply wait. .

.the decision will come. And it will not come from the mind, because the mind is divided so similarly, so symmetrically. The decision will come from the beyond If you can wait the decision will always come, because one cannot exist without decision.

So this can be used as a very good jumping-board to the beyond. It rarely happens. Very few people are so symmetrical. Every mind is asymmetrical. But don’t think of it in any way as a difficulty. Be neutral and simply enjoy the ambivalence.

[A group member said: Nothing very fantastic happened, but a lot of awareness came to me. I got in touch with a lot of pain and grief.]

That is more valuable than any fantastic thing.

... Never long for the fantastic. Long for the real. The fantastic is not going to give you nourishment. It comes like lightning and it goes. A small candle is better. You can do many things with a small candle. Lightning is fantastic but you cannot do anything – you cannot read, you cannot move. Fantastic experiences are like lightning in the sky – beautiful, but not of any real value. Light a small candle. That will go for long and will do much for you.

The path is walked not by fantastic experiences but by real, small, atomic experiences. They go on accumulating and they give you a reality. It has been tremendously good. What I call fantastic is this – a small candle. If you go and sell it you will not get much, and nobody is going to write a poem about it, and if you brag about it people will think that you are mad – because it is so small. But it is useful. Its utility is tremendous. It will nourish you.

So just go on creating it again and again inside you. Struggle always pays. Friction always pays. It makes you more alert. It gives you a sharpness, and one starts feeling more alive, more solid.

So whatsoever has happened to you, go on reliving it again and again so it becomes almost a style of life. Because it is not fantastic, it can be done very easily. Don’t allow it to become just a memory. Make it an everyday occurrence.

Just before going to sleep, for ten minutes sit silently and recapture the whole of it. Hold it inside and go to sleep. In the morning before you open your eyes, again recapture it. Hold it in the stomach. In the day also, whenever you remember that you are losing contact with it, sit silently for a few seconds and recapture it. But don’t lose sight of it and it will grow. One day it will become a light.

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