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‌CHAPTER 20

23 June 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says: When I look at you a reflection always comes back to me. I see myself.]

That’s right. That’s the only way to see me – if you go on seeing yourself. My whole functioning is to be a mirror to you. That’s the only way. If you know yourself, you know me. I am not here to make you involved with me. That would be a bondage. You must be thrown back to yourself again and again. The other is the bondage.

It is necessary to pass through the other because there is no other way to know oneself unless one comes via the other. To know the ‘I’, one has to move through the ‘thou’. If you don’t do that you will never be able to know who you are.

Love helps, but it is a very delicate, fragile phenomenon. If you love me, you pass through me. And if I love you, I am not to hold you. I have to allow you to go back to yourself. That’s why love is not possessive. If love is possessiveness, it is very destructive.

If I am possessive, you will come to me and I will not allow you to go back to yourself. I will create all sorts of barriers, blockades, so that you cannot go back and so you remain with me as a possession. But then I don’t love you.

If I love you, I allow you to pass through me and help you to go back home. Passing through the ‘thou’, one comes to realise what the ‘I’ is.

There are two ways to know this ‘I’ One is through the relationship with things. That’s what Buber calls the ‘I-it’ relationship: the car, the house, the money. But they are all dead things. Another way to know the ‘I’ is through the world of ‘I-thou’: through love, through persons.

If you know your ‘I’ through the ‘I-it’ relationship, you will never know your totality. You will know only your dead part which is like a thing – your body at the most – but your spirit will remain untouched.

One has to move through the ‘I-thou’ relationship. In that contrast your ‘I’ becomes clear. ‘Thou’ becomes a background and your ‘I’ becomes the figure. It is just as when you write on a blackboard with white chalk. That becomes the figure and the blackboard becomes the background.

I cannot hold you with me. The more you come to me, the more I will throw you back towards yourself. Then there is a continuum, a flow. Energy is blocked nowhere. It is just as when the river falls into the ocean. The ocean is not going to keep the water. It will evaporate... it will be thrown to the clouds and the clouds will rain again, and again the river will flow and will come to the ocean. It is a circle. That’s what ecology is. And it is not only so in nature, it is so in consciousness also. There is an ecology of consciousness.

So if you give love to me, I have to return it to you. In a relationship, two persons become mirrors facing each other. Nobody holds – and the circle is complete. In that circle is life. In that throbbing, in that process, in that dynamism, is life. Once the circle is broken anywhere, the continuity is blocked and death happens.

So it is perfectly as it should be. Just go on looking at me, and let me throw you back again and again. One day you will realise that we are all one. That comes only when you become one with the whole circle. You will not be a polarity there, and I will not be a polarity here, but we will both merge in the circle.

Then the ocean is not just the ocean, and the river is not just the river. The river is on the way to becoming the ocean, and the ocean is on the way to becoming the river. They are both part of one pole. That too will happen.

You are on just the right track, so don’t be worried. When you are back home, just go on looking at my picture. It will do the same. Once you have understood the process of being a circle, you can do it anywhere. And that’s the whole purpose of giving you the picture and the locket. Just hold the locket in the hand and you will immediately see that the circle is there.

Once felt, it becomes so easy to feel it again and again; and the more you feel it, the easier it becomes. And I am going to work through you there, so you go... and you are not going alone. You came alone. Now you are not going alone.

And much has to be done. One thing I was going to tell you, is not to be afraid of publicity. Don’t try to keep your sannyas a secret, otherwise you will not be able to reach many people. So try to approach people in all ways. All the modern media have to be used. There is no need to be afraid about it. The fear comes because of the possibility that you may become very egoistic, but that is no more a problem. I have taken care of your ego. Now you work for me. Just become a vehicle.

The circle is good but very small. You have much potential. Why work only with fifty people? You can work with five thousand. With the same energy, the message can reach to many people... and they need it. They are in tremendous need. They are almost hungry and thirsty for it, so it is not good to make it a very esoteric thing. Make it as widespread as you can. Spread it far and wide.

[Previously a sannyasin had asked Osho about her health and fasting to clear dysentery contracted while travelling. Osho talked to her about taking care of the body and not just fasting irregularly – if one had to do it at all.

Now, before leaving, she asks Osho if he has anything to say to her.]

The first thing is that you have to take care of your body. You have not been good to it in the past. Now be friendly to it. Almost start a love affair with your body, because unless you love your body, nothing can happen. Hatred is very deep-rooted in everybody all over the world because all the religions have been teaching one to be negative, to be anti-body. The body is your base. It is your earth. You are rooted there. If a tree is against the earth, it is going to be suicidal; it will commit suicide.

So feel happy with the body. Enjoy the feel of it and become more sensitive. Let the body become more alive, and don’t be afraid. Those feelings are just the beginning of life and much more will happen, much higher than the body, but it will be rooted in the body.

The tree will go very far away from the earth. It will flower in the sky, but it will remain rooted in the earth. Even if it is going high into the sky, it is part of the earth. And the higher a tree goes, the deeper it has to send its roots into the earth.

So people who are not going to evolve spiritually, need not worry about the body because they don’t need very deep roots. They are not going to fly very high. They are like seasonal flowers – just a few inches of root are enough. But for a big tree which is going to be for thousands of years and is going to spread far and wide, the same proportion has to go inside the earth.

It is the same with spiritual growth. Ordinarily people who are not interested in spiritual growth can remain as they are. But once you want to grow spiritually, you will have to take care, much care, of the body. This is almost the opposite to what religions have been teaching you. They have been teaching you that if you want to be spiritual, you have to be against the body. I teach you just the reverse.

If you want to be spiritually developed, grown-up, mature, you will have to love your body very very deeply. It has to be used, and when you want to use it for higher things, you have to create higher qualities in the body so it can sustain you. It has to be refined, loved.

So take care of it as if it is a gift from God – and it is. For one year, just take care of your body. In eating, choose that which is nourishing, chew well, take some exercise, go for walks, meditate. And don’t be a victim of foolish things – of fasting and this and that. You have already done much damage.

For one year forget everything. Just take care of your body to help it revive, and then come back.

[She asked if she should return to her studies or do any other kind of work. She added that she felt her parents would pressure her to do some kind of work.]

It is good to do something. Choose something that you like. Parents are right – something has to be done. Just doing nothing is not good, because the body is made in such a way that if you use it, it

remains alive, vibrant. The mind is also made in that way. If you use it, it remains sharp. If you don’t use it, it gets rusted.

That’s the difference between a machine and an organic unity, a body. If you don’t use a machine, it lasts longer. If you don’t use the body, it breaks down. That’s why I say that the body is not a machine. It functions totally differently. If you don’t use a clock, it can last for centuries. But if you don’t use the body, within years it will be gone, withered away. Use it more, and you will have more of it.

It is the same with the mind. These are faculties to be used continuously. Then you become more and more skillful and you come to know more and more and deeper possibilities. It is just as when one is playing on the piano or sitar or guitar. The more you play, the more you practise, the more subtle nuances become available to you. You start hearing sounds which nobody else will ordinarily hear. And the same happens with the body. It is a great musical instrument.

So do something. If you feel like studying, study, but don’t waste time. Just sitting, you become more and more lazy... and laziness is not good. Laziness is not relaxing. A lazy person cannot relax. Only a person who is doing hard work can relax. Relaxation has to be earned.

Doing is always good because it helps the integration of the being. And whatsoever profession you choose, remember it has to be basically your vocation also. Your love should be there. Whatsoever you choose – singing, educating children, dancing, plumbing, or whatsoever – it has to be your love. Then it gives growth, inspiration, impetus, and it creates a nucleus in your being around which, by and by, you start crystallising.

[A sannyasin said he was feeling happy but was unable to start a love relationship. Osho suggested he simply continue to be happy and love would happen.]

There are only two things in life that people are afraid of: love and death. And both are beautiful and both have something similar in them. Love is like death because you will have to surrender. Your ego will have to be surrendered. That is like death.

And death is also like love because you are moving into the arms of the unknown. It is a deep orgasm with the universe.

So both are similar. In love, first you start moving towards someone to have a deep merger and then you have to die in that merger also. In death, death happens first and that there is a great merger. But both are the same.

So love/death is the basic fear in the world. Don’t be afraid. Both are nothing to be afraid of; both make life rich. Just think of a life if there were no death. How ugly life would become. It would be impossible to tolerate it; it would become ugly. It would become so monotonous.

Just think of yourself living forever and forever and forever. Just imagine it.It would become such a

tedious pilgrimageso tiring, so boring. And remember one thing: if life has no death, then suicide

is not possible. You cannot commit suicide. You have to live... yoU have to liveon and on and on.

Just the thought will give you some idea of how beautiful death is. It never allows life to become a boring thing. By the time it becomes boring the curtain is dropped – another drama starts. By the time it is becoming tedious you are taken away – a fresh life starts. Without death, life will be very very tedious – impossible to live.

And think of life without love. It is pointless. For what will you live? So these two things are the most cherished things, and people are the most afraid of them. These are the two things for which people should live ! But these are the two things of which they are most afraid. Naturally everybody lives in misery and hell.

So remain happy, and after three weeks, report to me. For these three weeks, just remain happy, with no problems, no other questions about love or this and that – nothing. Simply be happy, purely happy, and then I will see, mm? Good !

[A 70-year-old sannyasin asks if he is too old to meditate. Osho says he is not old. The sannyasin replies:... once I very nearly did meditate unconsciously. That was in the war. I was lying on my bed and twice I stopped breathing – and I was frightened. I didn’t breathe in or out.]

That’s perfectly how it should be.

... If meditation goes deep, breathing stops, completely stops. But there is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, in those moments when breathing completely stops, you are in eternity. You are no more part of time. Those moments are very nourishing because you are closer to God than ever. You are alive but in a different way.

Ordinarily we depend on breathing. That is the natural way to be alive. When breathing stops, that is the supernatural way to be alive. Then you are not connected with nature. You are connected with God. Those are rare moments. But whenever they happen, everybody gets afraid, because we think that breathing is life. It is not. It is just a fragment of life, and that, too, a very lower fragment. But there are higher ways to be alive.

This is very good – if you can become so silent by sitting or lying down that the breathing stops. Then there is no need to do any other meditation. Simply go on doing this twice a day. And don’t be afraid. Those moments will give you the first glimpses of the deathless. And once you get in tune with them, then there is no death. Then the body will die, but You will live.

So that’s very good – that it happened naturally. Allow it to happen. Sitting against the wall is very good. You can also lie down but sitting is better, because in Lying down, there is the possibility that you may fall asleep. When the breathing is so slow that it has almost stopped and thinking is silent, the possibility is that you may fall asleep. It is good – there is nothing wrong in it – but if in those moments you remain aware, then many more things will be revealed to you.

The benefit will be there if you fall asleep too, but it will be an unconscious benefit. It will be as if a person is asleep and we take him on a stretcher into the garden. Of course he is benefited by the fresh air but he is fast asleep. He cannot enjoy it.

So it is better to sit. That’s why for centuries all the meditators have been sitting. That’s an effort to avoid sleep. And a few meditators – one, the founder of Jainism, Mahavir – used to meditate

standing. For his whole life, Mahavir stood and meditated. When you sit for many years you become so accustomed to sitting, that you can fall asleep – even sitting.

[Osho described how he should meditate – sitting facing the wall, either looking at the wall with eyes opened or closed. Breathing should be as slow as possible]

... and allow the breathing to stop. When it stops don’t be afraid, because nobody has ever died in that state. That state is so beautiful and so alive and you are so close to the very source of life that you cannot die. It has never happened.

Down through the centuries, millions of people have meditated and millions of people have come to this point where breathing stops completely, but nobody has ever died. So the fear is just unbased – but it comes and one has to tackle it. This will be very beneficial. And you are young so you can do it.

Only young people come to me. Old people cannot come. It is not a question of physical age. It is a freshness of the mind.

I can see that you have a fresh mind, an open mind. Hence you are here; otherwise there is no possibility. You are young as these people [indicating the small group around him] Some of the people may be even older than you !

[The sannyasin says he has a confession: I drink too much. I need to stop it?]

No, no, no need to stop it now. It has become such a long habit that stopping it will create trouble. It has gone into the body. There is no need to be worried about it. Just take it for granted and don’t feel guilty about it.

Give at least two hours every day for meditation and then by and by you will become so silent and so happy, so unworried, that the desire to drink will start disappearing. When the desire starts disappearing, you start reducing your intake; not before it. If you do it before, it will be destructive to the body. If you force it, it will create a conflict inside. And whatsoever we repress is going to take revenge.

So if for two or three days you repress it, on the fourth day you will drink, and you will drink too much. It is futile. So don’t be worried about it. Rather than fighting with it, start meditating. Drinking simply shows that there have been problems, problems that you could not solveworries from which there

was no escape. The only way you could find is to become unconscious. That is a shortcut to get out of the problems and the worries. And there are worries and problems in life.

So now the only thing that can be helpful is to forget all about it. Even this idea – that one has to drop it – drop that too. Accept it. It has happened, and now the past cannot be changed, so don’t be worried. Don’t create a new worry. Simply meditate and become more and more silent. Then you will see that the desire to drink by and by disappears.

I have seen it disappear in many people. A moment comes when you cannot drink – only then drop it, not before. In fact you are not dropping it; it is dropping on its own accord then.

I am always for a very natural way about everything. I am against all guilt feelings and I don’t want to create guilt feelings in anybody. This is how life has happened to you. What can you do? There is no point in fighting with it, but there is a way to change the inner vision.

For example. if you become more happy and more silent you will not be able to drink much, because for drinking one needs to be very very unhappy. Deep down some unhappiness is needed; only then can we drown it in drinking. The drinking feels as if it gives a certain happiness. It doesn’t. It simply drowns the unhappiness so a false happiness is created. But if you become happy you will stop drinking, because then drinking will drown your happiness and it will make you unhappy. Then the whole process reverses.

So don’t think about it in terms of confession. It is not a sin. There are errors in life, mistakes, but nothing is a sin. And everybody has to pass through many mistakes because that is the only way to learn and to grow. So simply accept yourself. In these last days of your life there is no need to create any conflict inside. Just accept whatsoever is. Be natural about it and don’t try to change yourself in any outward way. Continue to meditate and many things will start happening. When they happen, then it’s okay.

If you continue to meditate before you leave this body, you will be completely free of drinking and other things. There is no problem about it. But if you try to leave them, you will never be free. You may condition your mind so much that in your next life you may be drinking.

A conflict divides you. One part of you wants to drink and another part of you says, ‘Don’t drink.’ It is as if I am trying to fight with both my hands. Sometimes I can let the right hand win, and sometimes I can let the left hand win because both are my hands. Victory is not possible. And it is simply foolish to fight because both are you. The one who drinks and the one who says that you would like to leave it or who feels guilty, both are you.

Don’t divide. Division is not going to lead anywhere. It will create friction and dissipation of energy. Now in these last days of your life, you will need more energy, so dissipation is not good. And it is foolish also. It has helped nobody.

So simply accept both and let them be one. Simply say, ‘This is the way I am.’ Don’t make it a confession, because the very word carries some sort of guilt in it. There is no need to confess. This is the way you are or this is the way God made you and you accept it.

My whole emphasis is on meditation, not on character, because character is an outward thing. If the inner changes, the outer follows it, but not vice versa. You can change the outer but the inner will not follow, because the inner is more powerful than the outer. It is just as when you walk, your shadow follows. The character is like a shadow. But the vice versa is not possible – that the shadow walks and you follow. That’s not possible. The shadow cannot walk, in the first place. And in the second place, even if it walks there is no necessity that you should follow it. Why?

Ordinarily religions have emphasised character. That’s why they have created hypocrisy and nothing else. People cannot change their character – and religions go on forcing them to. So the only thing that is possible, humanly possible, is that they show one face and have another. They drink, and they will never say in public that they do. They do things in their private life and they have a public face.

This is how the whole of humanity has become hypocritical – a crowd of pretenders, inauthentic, insincere – and the responsibility is with the churches and religions and the priests. My emphasis is not on character at all. I say that character will take care of itself. Simply try to contact your innermost core, your essential being. That is the most basic thing. Once you are in contact with it, things start changing in your life – and without any effort; that’s the beauty. If you change with effort, it is forced. It is as if you are forcing a bud to open. You can force it and it will look like a flower!, but it will not be a real flower.

So let the flowering be spontaneous; you simply meditate. And I will go on helping you.

[The previous sannyasin’s elderly wife says that she enjoys the nature and dancing and lovely things, but she can’t bear the idea of dying and leaving all the beautiful things in life.]

I understand... I understand. But the problem arises because you can’t see that even more beautiful things are waiting. When you leave life, one door closes, but another opens which leads into a far more beautiful world. But because we cannot see that... we can only see this door that closes and cannot see that there is any other life beyond that – that is creating the trouble.

The world is so beautiful.… This cuckoo singing... it is beautiful. It makes one sad that one day one will not be able to listen to this cuckoo singing. ‘Cuckoos will be singing and I will not be here to listen. The sun will rise and the moon will be there; the world will remain as beautiful, and I will not be here.’

We cannot see that death is just a door. It is an opening of a new life.

We can only see the crucifixion, we cannot see the resurrection; that’s the trouble. Unless you try hard to go deep inside yourself, you will not be able to see it. But a greater life is waiting. A higher life is waiting. A more blissful life is waiting. And this is just a preparation for it. But just by my saying you will not feel it. That’s why my insistence on meditation.

If you can see something within you which cannot die, then all fear disappears. Ordinarily we are too attached with the body. The body is going to die – that’s certain. You will not be in this body, that’s certain. But there is nothing to be worried about. Just as you change your clothes and there is no worry, bodies are changed. But you have to find existentially something within you which you can separate from the body, which you can see is absolutely separate from the body. Then that fear disappears.

Do a few meditations – they will help tremendously. You have such a good heart. That’s why you feel so sad for all the beautiful things of life. You have a very sensitive heart. Good. It can be a help in moving inwards.

[Osho suggested that she do the same meditation that he had described to her husband, saying not to be perturbed when thoughts came, but just to watch them, unconcerned.]

... but if for a few moments thoughts don’t come, you will be able to see – and it becomes so transparent – that you are not the body. You are something transcendental. In that moment the certainty is so absolute that fear never grips again. That certainty is so total that you cannot die.

Once that point has been touched, then another door becomes visible. Then one waits for death, and when death comes one welcomes it. That too is beautiful.

In fact death is not the end of life – it is the very pinnacle. It is the very peak. It is life at its climax. There is a turning then... another world starts.

So it is good to enjoy the beautiful things of life, but not enough. One has to go a little deeper. [Osho recounted the story of two sufi mystics – Rabiya and Hassein.

Hassein was staying in Rabiya’s hut and one morning called to Rabiya to come outside to where he was enjoying the early morning sun, the flowers, the cool breeze; to come and join him in seeing the beauty of what God had given them that morning.

Rabiya, meditating inside her hut, replied that rather than her going outside, Hassein should come into the hut and discover the beauties of another world. ‘You are seeing the day that God has created. I am seeing Himself. I am seeing the creator.’]

The world is beautiful... the sunset and the sunrise are beautiful. The dewdrops, the ocean, are beautiful, but nothing compared with the beauty of the creator.

This is just poetry. You have not seen the poet yet. This is just the song. You have not seen the singer yet. This is just the rumour. You have not seen the real yet.

So try to meditate, and some day it dawns and a new door opens.

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