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‌CHAPTER 13

17 May 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin has to return to the west because her mother is dying of a life-long illness.]

So it is a good release for her, mm? She should not be prevented, she should be helped to leave the body. Because life in each and every case is not a blessing. It is a blessing only if one can use the opportunity to grow; then it is a blessing. Otherwise it is a curse because it is unnecessary suffering. It is good for her to leave the body and to be again in a new body so she can start growing.

When one is ill for so long the whole energy is taken up in the illness; nothing is left to grow. And when one is ill for so long one tends to become the body more and more, because the body is constantly there, hurting, reminding one of its existence; the whole consciousness becomes focussed on the pain. When the body is healthy, in a flow, then one can turn inwards one can feel oneself more as a consciousness. And to feel oneself as consciousness is the whole search. So just go and help her.

If you find her still alive, help her to die very peacefully, almost joyously. And then a miracle is possible. If she can die joyously, ecstatically, whatsoever she has missed in life she may still have a chance to gain in death. And sometimes it happens that a fifty-year-long life may have been useless and in five seconds of a beautiful death all is gained.

So help her to forget the body; help to remind her that she is a transcendental consciousness, an immortal consciousness. Just go and sit silently by her side, meditatively. Put your hand on her head and remind her to relax and to let go of the body, not to cling, just to let go of the body, to surrender it to existence. And if you can help her to die silently, meditatively, you have served her.

Take a box for her, mm? and put it on her navel, because it is from there that life will be leaving her body. People who have lived deep in illness almost always die from the navel centre. Put it on her

navel, you put your hands on her head and tell her to relax, and I will do my best, mm? Make it a beautiful death.

[A sannyasin, leaving, says he feels a pressure in the throat during Nadabrahma and Kundalini meditations. Osho checks his energy.]

The pressure is there but it will disappear on its own, mm? It is there for a certain purpose. It is energy trying to activate the centre there. The fifth centre of the body exists there and almost always it is the most difficult point to cross.

Nature can bring one up to the fourth centre very easily, because the fourth centre is the heart. Nature can bring one to the fourth centre, because love is a very natural phenomenon. People don’t come to the fourth because they don’t love. Otherwise no religion, no yoga, no meditation is needed; nature can bring you automatically up to the fourth. But the fifth is beyond nature. It cannot happen on its own; unless you go deep in meditation the fifth will never function. The fifth starts functioning with meditation.

Patanjali has three separate words. The first he calls ‘dharna’; the first step in meditation happens on the fifth centre. The second he calls ‘dhyana’; that happens on the sixth centre, between the two eyebrows. And the third he calls ‘samadhi’; that happens at the seventh centre, ‘shastrar’, in the head. These three are the whole territory of consciousness.

So it is just that the energy is knocking on the door. Because of its knock you will feel a pressure there, but nothing to be afraid of It will do its work, and once the centre starts revolving it will move to the sixth, and then you will start feeling pressure on the sixth. Then too don’t be afraid – just continue to meditate.

[A sannyasin says he is divided between wanting to be alone and with people. He enjoys his work in the kitchen, but when he is not working he feels confused and afraid. He has been in a relationship, but is not now. Osho asks several questions and checks his energy.]

Great... great!

Your energy is perfectly okay and it doesn’t need any relationship. That’s why when you come into contact with people you become closed. But nothing is wrong in it; it is simply protective, a protective measure. It is not any negativity, it is very positive. Always remember that sometimes openness is wrong and sometimes closedness is right. It depends. No value in itself is valuable; it depends on the circumstances.

Your energy is turning into very very meditative energy. It does not want to relate, not at this moment. And this is not the right time to force it to relate. It automatically closes up so no bridge is left. Otherwise if you meet and mix and laugh and talk with people and communicate, you will fall in love. The energy is not ready at this moment to go into any love relationship, because the energy is going deeper and deeper into your own being. That’s why work is perfectly good because there is no question of any relationship. You are flowing and you are alive and you are open. As you come close to people you close, but this closing is perfectly right. If you don’t close you will create a contradiction in your being; then love will pull you out and meditation will pull you in and you will be torn apart.

Don’t make any problem out of this; it is simply right, as it should be. And when the work is finished, when the meditation has really settled you will start feeling that now you are not closing to people. Then you will be able to move into a relationship again but it will be from a totally different attitude. You are becoming more and more centered in yourself, and it is good. At this moment, any kind of involvement with people will be a distraction. So forget about it; simply be in your work and enjoy, and when you move outside remain completely closed.

This is the moment when one needs to be a buddhist monk. But this is a phase – this will go. That’s where I differ from Buddha: this is a phase, one need not remain a buddhist monk one’s whole life. It is a beautiful phenomenon when it is needed but it is only a climate that is needed for a certain ripening. Once that ripening has happened, once you have become centered, then there is no fear. It is just as a gardener protects a small plant by putting a fence around it so that nobody tramples on it or no animal eats it, no child uproots it. But when the tree has become big the fence will not be needed, the fence will have to be taken away. If you don’t take it, the tree itself will destroy it because it will become a bondage. Then the tree is strong enough on its own. Right now the fence is needed – a very delicate centering is happening.

So you be in the work more and more and if you want to relate sometimes, talk to trees, birds, animals, go to the river. Just forget for a few days that human beings exist in the world. Just be totally with yourself. Slowly slowly you will become strong. And then you will see that now you are not closing: people come and you remain open.

It is not fear, it is simply protection. Don’t call it fear. If you call it fear you will start dragging yourself out of it, and that will be bad.

It’s perfectly good!

[A sannyasin says she cannot explain what is happening to her, she feels a stranger to herself.]

Words will not be able to say it, words are not meant to say something so deep. Words are only mundane, superficial. They are good for the marketplace, utilitarian, are a must, but not for such deep experiences. So whenever you come closer to any depth in your being, suddenly words become useless, meaningless. You can go on trying but you will not find the right word to express it. And whatsoever word you find will look inadequate, will look almost sacrilegious... will look almost as if rather than saying it, it is destroying it. It will not be able to contain the meaning because the meaning is big and vast and the word is very tiny and small and narrow. The word to be useful has to be narrow, otherwise it will have so many meanings and will become useless. That’s why the more science progresses in the world, the more poetry starts disappearing, because poetry needs liquid words, with many meanings, so the poet can play around. Science needs exactitude. the word should mean only one thing and not anything else. ‘A’ should be ‘A’ and not anything else; it has to be precise. So the more prevalent science becomes, the more precise words become. Their meaning becomes narrowed down. They are no more vague, no more nebulous, cloudy – they become almost like stones, settled, defined, weighed, measured; but then poetry disappears. Poetry needs not stones – it needs clouds to play with so it can give any shape to the cloud. It needs vague words – hints, rather than meanings, just indications, nuances.

Old languages are poetic; new languages are non-poetic. Old languages can say many more things which new languages cannot say, but new languages are precise, mathematical. And that is

becoming a problem, because if you cannot express your deeper feeling, slowly slowly that which cannot be expressed, dies. Because if you cannot express it to others, slowly slowly you tend to forget it yourself. It is not only that you cannot say it to others, you stop saying it to yourself. How to say it? Even to say it to yourself words will be needed, and if you can say it to yourself, why not to others? So that which cannot be said, slowly slowly tends to disappear from existence.

So many things have disappeared – God has disappeared; in fact, languages, modern languages, don’t allow God to exist. Love is disappearing, beauty is disappearing. All the higher values are becoming irrelevant, because the language won’t express them.

So whenever you feel the need to say something to me, come and say it through the energy – that’s the only way, mm? No need to write a letter. You can come and just sit here and move in your energy and that will be the communication with me. Sooner or later more and more sannyasins will need energy communication. But things are going well.…

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