27 Dying to live

‌CHAPTER 27

Dying to live

30 October 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[Osho initiates someone, telling her to imagine she is a waterfall. He then tells her that it is very difficult for her to imagine, so imagination cannot be of any help to her]

Imagination, if available, is great energy; it can transform you. But if you are not available then there is no need to go in that direction. Then there will be only frustration because there will not be any fulfilment. Then one has to move more towards intelligence, more towards reason; that is going to be one’s path to the divine. These are the two ways: either imagination or thought. Either one has to imagine so tremendously that one is lost in one’s imagination, that one disappears and whatsoever is imagined becomes reality.…

If that is not possibleand for fifty percent of people it is not possible, that is not their way. They

have to approach through reason, through rationality, through thought, logic. They have to go into thinking to its very uttermost. Only from that peak of thinking can they go beyond it. The man of imagination can go immediately. The man who cannot imagine easily has to first go into thinking. Then from the peak of thought, from that everest, he has to take the jump.

The jump has to be taken. One has to go beyond the mind. Either you go in the first step or you have to go in the last. To go in the first step is the path of the devotee, the lover, the path of the heart. And to go in the last step is the path of intelligence, awareness, meditation.

So let it be very clear to you – that you have to move towards meditation, not prayer. Prayer will not be of any help, so don’t waste your time on that line. It looks easy but it won’t work.

Death is one of the greatest secrets... and the master key for meditators. If you can die to the body, you are born into god immediately. Here you lose your control on the body and there god takes your control. When you are in uncontrol, you become possessed by god. And that is the whole crux of the matter, the whole art: how to die so that god can be born in you. And it is going to be very simple for you. You have come almost ready; there is nothing much for me to work on you, mm? Just a little push and you will be gone forever!

Prem means love, agama means scripture – a love scripture. And we are carrying great scriptures in our heart. Once they start flowing, you will be surprised. There is no need to go into the vedas, into the bible or the koran; you have been carrying immensely beautiful scriptures in you all along. They have been provided from the very beginning. Everybody is carrying his book in his being and that book has to be read. And all other books are just a help towards it. If they help, good; if they hinder, they have to be burned. But the real book is the heart.

So these two things I would like to say to you on your new birth: one, start dying to the body, to the past, to name, to fame, to identity. Die to all that you have been identified with up to now. And let it become a constant phenomenon: every night you die. The whole day is finished; you die to it. It is no more there; you slip out of it.

Every morning when you wake up die to the night. It is finished, all those dreams; die to them, slip out of them. Die each moment to that which has passed. Then you are fresh and alive; there is life, zest, gusto. Then you are not dull, you are not stale, and everything is flowing and the juices are moving. That is the first thing.

And the second thing is: become more and more loving, because only a man who can die easily can be a lover. The fear of love is the fear of death. People are very much afraid of love, notwithstanding the fact that they go on talking about it. They are afraid of it, and the fear is of death, because when you really love, you die, you disappear, you lose yourself!

So death and love are two sides of the same coin: on one hand start dying; on another hand become more and more loving for no purpose... just for the sake of love. It is so thrilling, it is such a joy in itself that it needs no other end.…

[The new sannyasin says: I have booked for massage because I never had massage in my life.]

Very good! – have massage. Massage is a beautiful experience, mm? Use all the opportunities that are available here and you will be surprised that there are so many things in your being which can be revealed to you through certain techniques, methods. New windows can be opened in you and from those windows you will see yourself in a new light that you had never seen yourself in before. And the more you see yourself from different aspects, the richer you become and the more confident you become in your being. A great trust arises slowly, slowly.

Use all the opportunities available here. Much is going to happen!

[Osho asks an initiate to raise his hands above his head, to hold them there together but to allow the rest of his body to be free to move. If you start feeling that you are being pulled upwards you can stand on your knees or your feet, he says. It will be a great pull. You will feel as if you are possessed and are being pulled upwards. If it happens, go with it.]

Prayer is going to be your path... so start being in prayer. And remember, prayer has nothing to do with the so-called prayers: the christian, the hindu, the mohammedan. It has nothing to do with any ritual or formality. It is just an attitude, a climate. It is like a cloud that surrounds you. It is not an act but a state of being. It is like love, like joy, like laughter. It is very simple; it is not complex. You need not learn any prayer; you need only to learn the attitude of prayer, and it is there in every cell of your body.

So every night before you go to sleep, just sit in the middle of the room with your hands raised and be possessed by the divine energy. And you will be possessed: you will be pulled upwards. The pull of prayer is upwards. When you start feeling that you are being pulled, start standing. Soon you will see within a few days that you are losing weight, that you are walking a little above the earth. Six inches above the earth will be possible soon!

There are two energies in existence: one, scientists call gravitation. That is the pull of the earth, the pull of the lower, the pull of the gross and the material. The other energy which science has not yet been able to discover is called in yoga, levitation: the upward pull, the pull of the sky, the pull of the higher, the pull of god. And it is as actual as gravitation. But before newton nobody knew about gravitation.

Spiritual science needs a Newton to prove it – that there is an upward pull too. You must have heard the famous story – whether it is true or not is not the point – that newton was sitting in a garden and an apple falls from the tree. He becomes intrigued. Why does it fall downwards? He went into it and he discovered the law of gravitation. The law was there before newton, the law had always been there, but for millions of years nobody had thought about it.

Now somebody has to think of another question. Newton says, ‘Why has the apple fallen downwards?’ but the first thing is how the apple reached upwards. Mm? you put a seed in the earth and the sprout starts growing upwards. No Newton has asked about that yet. It becomes a tree, and then flowers and fruit... they all are coming from the roots and going upwards, flying upwards. That is a more fundamental law – that things are moving upwards, that things are evolving. Things fall only secondarily; before they can fall they have to rise. So I say that levitation is more primary than gravitation. You cannot fall if you have not risen. The fall is possible only when the rise has already happened.

You can be moved by levitation very easily; it is there. So start praying; meditate, but let prayer be your thing. Every night, in the morning, when you are not doing anything be levitated.

Deva means divine, pramada means joy: divine joy. And it will shower on you. Just become more and more prayerful and it will come like a flood; you will not be able to contain it.…

[Osho says to an initiate: Sannyas is a discontinuity with the past. Today you start living in a new way and from this moment start forgetting the past.]

Buddha used to say to his disciples to count their age from the day they became sannyasins. So sometimes it was very amazing. Once a great king came to see Buddha. A sannyasin came to see Buddha. He was near about seventy years old. Buddha asked, ‘How old are you?’ The sannyasin said, ‘Four years, sir.’ The king was amazed; he could not believe it. Was this man mad or something

? Four years?

The king said to Buddha, ‘You are not saying anything to him. He is saying that he is only four years of age!’ Buddha said, ‘Yes, he is only four years of age. Before those four years, for those sixty-six years, he was dead. Those years were not worth calling life. Only four years ago did he become alive.’

In India we call this new birth the real birth, and a man who becomes a sannyasin is called ‘twice born’. One is the birth through the parents, another is the birth through the master, through initiation. So let this be a new birth, a new beginning.

And it is only a question of understanding. If you understand, the past can be dropped, because it is nowhere else – just in your mind! And once the past is dropped, you will feel very free. It is the past that is hanging like a load on the heart, a rock-like thing around the neck. It does not, allow you to move, it does not allow you to fly. It is a cage... and the cage is bigger than you. It is very heavy to carry and to move; that’s why people are stuck. People have become stagnant pools. The flow is no more there; they are not river-like. Become river-like!

Deva means divine, pramod means joy: divine joy. And from this moment, start being joyful for no reason at all... like a madman. When I initiate you into sannyas, I initiate you into madness too! This thing around me is very crazy, but my observation is that crazy people are the only real people. The so-called sane are very ordinary, mediocre, bourgeois, middle-class. Only the crazy people search, explore, go beyond the limitations of the mind, move into that jungle of being, risk.

So from this moment be happy... for no reason! This much – that one is alive – is enough to be happy over. This much is enough – that one can see the stars and one can see the moon, one can love, one can hold the hand of a friend. This is too much! What more is needed to be happy? It is enough to be grateful for. And if it is not enough, then nothing will ever be enough! One can listen to the music... one can listen to the birds, one can see the greenery, one can see the dewdrops slipping off the grass. What else is needed?

So be grateful for all that god has already done for you... and then more will be coming. The more grateful you are, the more capable you are of receiving new gifts. Life is a gift, love is a gift, light is a gift. All is a gift, and those who are grateful become worthy of receiving more. More gifts will be coming!

[The new sannyasin asks: Do you see that there is a lack of joy or a lack of happiness?]

There is.… But if you become conscious of it, it can be dropped. And it will be dropped! Once you have become my sannyasin you cannot remain miserable long! The whole effort here is so much against misery that even very skillful people... there are many skillful people here; their whole art is in remaining miserable – even they start getting out of their long faces by and by. You will get out of it!

It is nothing but the conditioning of society, the church, christianity. They have made people very very long-faced. The church is a serious affair: no dance, no joy, no laughter. And in fact the church should be the place where people share jokes and laugh and dance. But jesus on the cross, looking very sad of course, and the priest with the cross and everything death-like... the church has become a graveyard. And it is such things that have created your mind, but it can be changed. It is already

being changed, and encounter will do it. When you see me after encounter you will be a different man! Good!

[A sannyasin says that while he has been sick with dysentery he has been feeling negative towards Osho, and does not like this distance.]

It has been good (the experience)... and it happensWhen for the first time you feel me very close,

that creates a deep fear in the unconscious. Because to be close to me means to be far away from yourself. They mean the same thing: if you are close to yourself you are far away from me. If you are close to me you are far away from yourself. So when you start feeling close to me for the first time, an unconscious resistance will come in. Your ego will say ‘This is not right.’ And it almost always happens when you are in a deep need.…

For example, you are ill, lost in a forest and you cannot find the way, or you are in some inner misery and turmoil, in some anguish, and you are feeling very helpless. When the helplessness is very deep you will feel very close to me, because only in those helpless moments will you be able to relax your ego a little bit. When you are going perfectly well and everything is succeeding and you are on your own, why surrender? Then you are strong. The ego sits there on the throne!

So sometimes it happens that an illness can prove a blessing, a misery can prove a boon. But when it happens for the first time this is how everybody reacts. Then afterwards you will start feeling bad that you missed an opportunity. A door was opening and you didn’t take much note of it, you ignored it. You will start feeling guilty. No need to feel guilty. That door will open again and again.

Next time it opens, go a little closer, dare? Little more. The closer you go to that door, the more happy you will feel. Then sooner or later the resistance will disappear. But it has been a good experience!

[A sannyasin says that during the Enlightenment Intensive group she felt a great onrush of energy and went into a great orgasm. ..as if I were disintegrating.Osho checks her energy.]

Mm mm.it has been really good, and you can invite it again and again. It will make you integrated,

so back home whenever you have time and there is nobody to disturb you, put a sign on the door ‘no disturbance’, and go inside the room and go into that space. It will come again and again. When it comes, really go orgasmic. Let the whole body be shaken, possessed, and let every cell of the body enjoy it. It will have a sexual tone in the beginning; don’t be afraid of it. By and by it will become less and less sexual; it will become pure love. Then even that will change: it will become prayer. But the orgasmic quality wi]l remain and will become deeper and bigger.

And while making love, if it comes don’t be afraid; allow it. It will come that time too, naturally. Now you know, your body knows the secret of it. So if it comes while making love go wild: shriek and shout and sing and chant, and whatsoever comesTell the man beforehand otherwise he will go

mad! Tell the man that these things are going to happen, mm?

Men are very afraid of women going into orgasm. If a woman really goes into orgasm, the man can be so afraid that he may lose all sexual interest. That’s why down the ages man has tried to keep women non-orgasmic. There is great fear. If the woman is really orgasmic and the fear arises the

man will even lose his erection. He will become so afraid; what is happening? And if the woman is really going mad, then the man will call the doctor or the police!

So tell him first, mm? – that this is going to happen – and then go really into it. And once the man knows that this is going to happen and he can also participate in it, there will be great joy. Then sex can be transformed into spiritual experience very easily.

The most spiritual experience in life available to natural man is sex. It is through sex that the ecstasy grows. But good! I am happy; it has been really good!

[A sannyasin has brought his girlfriend to meet Osho, who invites her to take sannyas. She says she is scared.]

Everybody is scared! But that means the love affair has started! If you are scared then you are caught! I will take care of the fear. A few troubles will be there but they will all pass. Mm?... Wait and think! But those fears are meaningless – just about what people will say, that’s all.They are

there but they don’t mean anything. And one should not think too much of people and their opinions, otherwise one starts losing one’s soul, starts losing one’s individuality; one becomes in a subtle way a slave. They are there and they have their opinions but their opinions do not matter. I am also here!...

So if you want to think, you can, but my feeling is that this is a crazy thing. It is better to jump without thinking rather than to think about it and then take a jump. Then the jump is calculated and loses much; then it is not mad. Then there is calculation, thinking, pros and cons, and then after all that you decide. In that very thinking something has disappeared.something that can happen when

you just go without thinking. Thinking is too much; people are doing everything through thinking. There must be a few things that you do in a crazy way.

And people will say something, so tell them yourself that you have gone mad! But think.if you want

to think, think.

[The man says she has a problem with trembling and shaking and does not know what it is.]

(to the woman) Mm mm.mm, that’s good; that shaking can be of great benefit. Just don’t fight with

it. If you fight, you create a conflict in your energy. Go with it, allow it, participate with it, cooperate with it. And that shaking is something that is coming up iII you. Some energy that has remained dormant may have started because of mahesh and his association with you. His energy is flowing very beautifully, and if you are in love with him your energy will start moving. Because energies start working not as cause and effect but as a synchronicity, mm? You are in deep sympathy with him and his energy is moving; suddenly your energy will start participating. It looks very very awkward and one wants to control it, one wants to repress it: that is very dangerous. If you repress it, you will create a complexity in yourself and that can create a physical, mental, illness.

Once energy starts moving, go with it. Go with it whole-heartedly and start meditating for at least one hour in twenty-four hours whenever you can. Sit together, just look into each other’s eyes and let the energy move. When the energy starts moving, go utterly into it. You may start shrieking, you may start shouting. Some meaningless sounds may start coming up. The head may start shaking, the body may fall on the floor. Allow it: go into that energy phenomenon. It is there.

And now I’m here; whenever you need to, come back. Next time be prepared for sannyas! That will help your energies too; then you will be more bridged with me. You will not feel alone and you will not feel that you are moving into a dangerous phenomenon.

So for one hour start meditating together. Start looking into each other’s eyes, you can hold hands, and go into the energy. Then let it take its own form; don’t guide it in any way.

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