26 Self-erasing, truth-embracing

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‌CHAPTER 26

Self-erasing, truth-embracing

29 October 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Prem means love, adima means primal. The cultured love is no more love; only the wild is true. The sophisticated is already dead; it breathes not. The civilised is so repressed, so managed, so formal, that it can’t be alive. Love is alive when it is primal. And if love is not alive, you are not alive. A man may live seventy years but his real life should be counted only as being that time in which he has lived in love, and that may be only seven moments or may not be even that. Only those few crystal clear moments of love when you are at the top of the world, are really alive moments. All else is just preparation, rehearsal. All else is meaningful only if those peaks happen. It is meaningful because of those peaks, not in itself. And those peaks are possible only if you allow the wild to take possession of you, otherwise they are not possible. So the more civilised man becomes, the less capable of love. Logic becomes very very efficient, love becomes dead, and up to now this has been the misfortune.…

To be initiated into sannyas is to be initiated into primal love. Let that become a constant remembrance – that life is for love and is meaningful only when it is for love. Only those moments are alive which are in love, otherwise everything else is dull, dismal.

And this is my message for you – to become more and more loving. And when I say to be more loving I mean wild! not lukewarm, but really hot, intense. That is the meaning of the word ‘passion’. Passion does not mean lust; it means intensity, it means totality. Lust is never passionate because it can’t be total; lust is always superficial, momentary. It can’t be very deep because it is of the body, only of the body. Passion means the body, the mind, the soul, all are involved in it together and one hundred percent involved in it. That’s why love has always been thought to drive people mad. It is true... but that madness is far more valuable than the so-called sanity.

The word comes from the same root as adam. Adam is the first man, the primal man, and adima comes from the same root. The word adam originates in sanskrit; it is not a hebrew word. In hindi man is called ‘admi’, and the sanskrit root is ‘adi’. Adi means in the beginning, in the very beginning; he who was in the beginning is adam. And if civilisation had not happened, if nobody had taught you how to be, if you were purely natural, then you would be ‘adima’.

So one has to be alert not to be corrupted by civilisation too much. Use it – it is necessary because you live in a civilised world – but don’t be caught in it; don’t let it become your definition. Yes, use it as a mask when you go into the world. In the office, meeting people, use it! But when you are alone and when you are with somebody you love, then there is no need for any mask. Then there is no need for any formality. Just be wild, and through that wildness you will attain to your self.

The natural man is the spiritual man and all religion is nothing but a process of moving back to nature.…

[The new sannyasin asks: A lot of my friends have become ‘born-again-christians’, and I was just wondering if that’s the same thing as dropping the ego?... it’s a definite change in their lives.]

I understand. It is not so easy to drop the ego. The ego becomes possessed by a new idea, that’s all. And sometimes the ego can be possessed by the idea of egolessness too. The ego is very subtle; it is not so easy to drop it. One has to work hard. One has to go into the whole process of how the ego arises, how it is formed. And its ways are very subtle; if you push it out from one door it comes in from another. It can hide in anything. It can hide in humbleness, and the person can start thinking, ‘Nobody is more humble than me.’ Then the ego has come in. The ego can be dropped only by deep meditation.

This kind of thing is more emotional than meditative. It can give you a changed life because you start living with a new idea – that you have embraced christ. You don’t know christ! And the only way to embrace christ is to become a christ; there is no other way: not by becoming a christian but by becoming a christ... because christ is not a person but a state of consciousness. You cannot just embrace christ. For example, you can embrace me, but that will not make you me.

You will have to go slowly, slowly into your mind, into the working of the mind, into the games of the mind... and they are millions. Only slowly, slowly, the more awareness is attained, the fewer are the games, the more awareness, the fewer deceptions. By and by you start becoming alert about how the ego has been surrounding you, following you. A constant life-long effort is needed.

But it happens: people want everything instantly, and particularly in america. So anything emotional... that you have embraced christ... now you are filled, possessed by an emotion. And more or less these people will be not very intelligent people. A little bit hysterical too, but their hysteria can take a very religious form: shouting for jesusAnd it may be just hysteria; it may be

just the joy of shouting.

Sooner or later these things wear out; they don’t bring a permanent change. They bring change, that’s certain, but you have to follow and watch people and you will find those changes are wearing out. You will always find people there because new people are always coming. If you go to certain movements you will be surprised to know this: that you will not find the original people there long.

New faces are always coming and the original people disappearing. That is a criterion: if something is really happening then you will find the original people there.

There are millions of people in search, so each guru and each movement can easily have thousands. And these are the same thousands which go on moving. One day they are with guru maharaji and then it is finished after a few days; the honeymoon is over. They become Jesus freaks; then the honeymoon is over. They go to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi; then the honeymoon is over. And these are the same people who go on moving. But you will not find them at one placeIf a person remains at

one place for over three years at least, then only can you be certain that something has happened. Otherwise these are emotional outbursts.

And the problem is that it is very difficult to be connected with Jesus now. You need an alive master to be related to. It is as absurd as somebody falling in love with Cleopatra. Mm? what type of love will this be? Cleopatra is no more. She may have been the most beautiful woman, but that doesn’t matter; she is dead! An ordinary, homely woman is far better if she is alive; at least she is alive! But people are foolish. You may have heard that when cleopatra died she was raped! The corpse was raped, the corpse was stolen and raped. People are mad! Now, raping a dead bodywhat kind of

man must this have been? Must have been neurotic. But this goes on in the name of religion very easily and you don’t see the point.

Jesus is no more, Buddha is no more. When they were, they were really great doors, but those doors have disappeared. You have to find a living master, and living masters are always available. The earth is never empty, but one has to search, one has to stumble in the darkness, one has to grope. There are many falls so you will come across the real only when you have passed through many falls. One thing has to be remembered – that something is always possible only if you are in contact with a living source. But the problem is that by the time you come to know about the living source, the living source is no more there.

When Jesus was there people were not being converted by him. He had only twelve disciples, and very poor fellows. And when he was crucified there were not even those twelve present; they had all escaped. When he was taken down from the cross only three women were there to help. Not a single man follower was there. Almost one hundred thousand people had gathered to see the crucifixion, but they were all rejoicing. They were throwing stones and dirty things at jesus and shouting and rejoicing, and they were very happy! Not even a hundred people were there who were feeling sympathy for him.

Once he was gone, by and by the name started gathering momentum. Then more followers were coming and more followers were coming.and now there was no danger! Jesus was no more there

so there was no danger; it was very consoling and comfortable.

Remember that Jesus is immensely valuable, but you will have to find a real Jesus, an alive Jesus. Only through him can Jesus again become alive to you, otherwise not.

And these are emotional movements; they don’t make any permanent change. Yes, good as entertainment, excitement, but they don’t change your life radically.

Deva means divine, and abheer means shepherd: divine shepherd. And I will make you one! You will become my messenger! Much is possible. Your own growth will happen through helping others.

That will be your work on yourself: the work on others. Help people to meditate, to pray; help people towards me. And the more you help people, the more you will be helped. You need not be too much concerned about your own growth. That will happen as a by-product; it will happen on its own. You become more concerned with other people.

Sometimes it happens that if you become too concerned about your own growth, that very concern becomes the hindrance because that creates a kind of self-centredness and this will not be good for you. Compassion will help, service will help.

So while you are here be of service to each and everybody; in whatsoever way the moment demands, be helpful. Let compassion be your path and forget your own problem. See people’s problems and try to help them in whatsoever way you can, to whatsoever limit you can. And you will be surprised that you are concerned with others and suddenly you are growing inside. Your growth will come as a by-product... not direct but indirect.

When jesus converted two fishermen, two brothers, it was early morning and they were catching fish. He came there and put his hand on one fisherman’s shoulders and said, ‘Look at me! How long are you going to go on catching fish! I can make you a catcher of men!’

And that’s what I would like to say to you: ‘I can make you a catcher of men! And fish you have caught enough. Enough is enough!’

Deva means divine, agara means a temple, a dwelling, an abode: a temple of the divine. And that’s how I look at each human being. We may not be aware but our body is a temple. We may not be aware about the deity who resides in us but the deity is there, and it has to be discovered, recognised. In that recognition is joy. And unless the deity of the temple is recognised we will be stumbling in darkness. Life will remain unfulfilled, a long, long story of frustration: fruitless, barren, desert-like. So Let this moment become the beginning of a new recognition. Start turning in, and whenever you have time just close your eyes and become a statue, unmoving, and go in.

And listening to sounds will be very helpful. Not to any sound in particular, because that becomes a concentration. Mm? this noise of the train... the traffic, some dog starts barking... an aeroplane passes by; all have to be accepted. Not that you have to concentrate on any sound – listen to all sounds from everywhere. You have just to be alert, listening, with no choice. That will help you immensely and that will become your meditation.

Deva means god, avesh means possessed by: possessed by god. And let that be your method: feel possessed by god. Whenever sitting alone feel possessed. The body will start swaying, energy will start moving and there will be a great upsurge. You will almost lose weight. You will feel as if you are being uplifted. That will help! If one can feel possessed then nothing else is needed.

So make it your meditation. Sitting in your bed at night, feel possessed. And once you have got the knack of it, it will not be difficult. Within seconds you can shift; you can disappear and god can be there. Both cannot exist together: either god is there or you.

The meaning of being possessed is that you have emptied the house and god can take possession of it. Sometimes it will be very frightening because things will start happening which will be

incomprehensible to you. You will start doing things without being able to believe from where they come. Don’t be worried! If fear comes, just take the locket in your hand and remember me.

Sometimes it will be very very scary, as if one is going to disappear or die or as if one will never be able to come back; but never be worried. Even if in those moments one disappears forever, that’s perfectly good. That is the greatest blessing that is possible for man.… That is not death; that is gaining immortality. Nobody has disappeared, nobody has ever disappeared, so don’t be worried!

Whenever you come back you will be more solid, more yourself. You will have a clear feeling of your being. It will be well-defined, demarcated, and you will have a kind of illumination from within. If you can be possessed once every twenty-four hours, then those twenty-four hours will be of such silence, such joy, such peace, that you cannot believe it. One can believe it only when it happens again and again and again.

[The new sannyasin says: If I’m alone I’m depressive and have no energy. If I’m with people I have much energy and I can do many things. I feel very dependent because of this.]

I have felt it... and that’s why I have given you the meditation. Now you can be with god and you will feel immense energy coming to you. No man can give you that energy, nobody can give you that energy. And the need for the other is there because you need to be possessed; you need to be possessed by god. Because you don’t know how to do it, you do it in any small way that you can. You always want to be with people so your space is full with people; then you feel good. When they have left you feel empty.

Now I am giving you a technique: whenever you are alone, provoke god, invite him, and he will become your company... and there is no better company! This thing will change.

[A sannyasin who has just arrived from the West, says she hasn’t been in a relationship for some years. She is always waiting for someone special, and they just haven’t happened along. Special things happen – but not if you wait for them, says Osho. God comes in ordinary ways. Life is ordinary, and it is perfectly beautiful in being ordinary. There are so many beautiful people around here; start falling in love with ordinary people.]

[A sannyasin says things have been happening very fast while she’s been here. She is unsure if they are right.Before she always forced things.]

They are right! Just go with things. Don’t be afraid and don’t pull back, don’t hold back. If they are going fast, you go fast.…

Force is not right; you just go with it.Yes, it can work but at a very great cost, and you have to

pay for it later on. It works, otherwise why should people, ninety-nine percent of people do it? It is very rare to find a person who does things without force. We know only one way to do a thing and that is with force. But finally the force destroys us because we become fighters, warriors. We are no more lovers. Love happens only in a let-go, when you are floating with the stream and not fighting upstream.

In the world that fight is a must. The world is very competitive; you are not alone there. If you don’t do things with force somebody else will. But in the inner world things happen without force because

there is no competition; you are alone there. And once you have learned that things can happen without force.…

Chinese have the right word for it, they call it ‘wu-wei’: action without action. Things can happen without your doing; then they have a tremendous beauty. They don’t tire you, they don’t exhaust you, and you are not spent through them; you remain intact. Once you know that knack everything is possible. And you will learn it; it is coming by and by.

It will be hard in the beginning because you are trained in a particular way, and it is difficult: old habits die hard. The ego also feels good when you are doing something with force. When you allow things to happen the ego does not feel good. There is nothing for it, no support for it, no props for it. The ego starts dying from starvation.

Sometimes things do go fast, sometimes the river flows very fast. When you are just floating with the river you have to go with it; you cannot choose your pace. When the river is flowing fast you have to flow fast. When the river moves slowly you move slowly. You have to be with the river, you have to be in tune with it, but that will come. That will be a great day of celebration when it has come totally.

Next time when you come, stay a little longer; do a few groups here.

[A sannyasin says he experienced much jealousy while his partner was in the Tantra group. He felt ashamed to bother Osho about it. A primal session helped.]

It has been good, this experience has been good, because we have to face all that is within us. And never feel ashamed, because if you do you will repress it.

I was expecting that something like this would happen. Jealousy is there... in everybody! We have been brought up in such a way that it is impossible not to be jealous. Our whole mind is saturated with jealousy. It is made out of jealousy. So if nothing goes wrong we are not aware of it. When something goes against it, then suddenly the shock and everything comes up. And this was my hope – that the tantra group would help you more than meera. And it has done its work.

It has brought up something of which you were not conscious. And once it becomes conscious it can be released, it can be dropped. Only conscious things can be dropped. One cannot drop anything from the unconscious; first it has to be made conscious. So, good. You can continue primalling whenever you feel like it.

[The sannyasin then says he has a block in the thorax, which seems to happen when love doesn’t flow.]

You have a box with you? So next time it happens just lie down on the earth, mm? not on the bed, and put the box exactly on the spot. And just feel that the box and the earth are joined together, bridged together. Within four, five minutes, you will feel the knot melting. Do it at least seven times whenever it happens, and after that, remind me.

It will be gone; nothing to be worried about. And once it is gone your love will have a totally new quality to it. It is love energy that gets stuck there... but it will go. Good.

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