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‌CHAPTER 22


The way is round the bend


22 October 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium


[A sannyasin brings her five-year-old son to take sannyas. She says she has problems with him: arguing... and he wants to fight with her in an angry way physically.]


I have given him the right name: courageous! Don’t try to force anything on him; let him have his way. And in ninety-nine percent of situations he can easily be given his own way. Only when you see that something will be harmful to him then you have to come in, otherwise give him freedom. And no need to argue. Agree with him rather than making him agree with you. Give him freedom because if from this age he becomes angry and settles into anger, his whole life will be destroyed. And he cannot understand so that’s not the problem; only you can understand. He cannot be made to understand it – that it is wrong.


You have to drop fighting with him... even when you feel that you are right; that is not the point. Right or wrong, if it is not going to harm him in some really dangerous way there is no need to fight; agree with him. And when you are agreeing ninety-nine percent, he will agree with at least one percent. That much he will do; that will come automatically.


And my feeling is that we become too much protective. If the child is stupid then it is very easy for him to become obedient. If the child is a little intelligent it is very difficult for him to become obedient. If the child has some potential he will fight. The potential is good, the readiness to fight is also not bad, but if he fights continuously then he will become settled in that habit and that will remain a hangover for his whole life. That will become his characteristic and he will be fighting with everybody: in the office with the boss, with the wife, with the children. He will destroy his whole life-energy in that.


So you have to feel very responsible. Don’t provoke him, and whenever you can give him freedom, do. Give him as much rope as possible and he will be immensely satisfied. He will become very joyous and he will become very loving, because anger is love frustrated. He wants to love you but you are so dominating... and each mother has to be. These are basic problems. It is not that you are wrong. Maybe he is eating too much ice cream and you have to stop him and he will argue. You have to say no otherwise the ice cream is going to destroy his teeth, his body and things. So I understand your difficulty.


So only when you see that it is really going to be harmful, then interfere. Then the next thing to be remembered: when you interfere, then don’t yield. Rarely interfere, very rarely. Make it a rare thing, exceptional, but when you say no, stick to it whatsoever the cost. Then never allow him to win over your idea.


He has to learn both things – that he is free, nobody is hindering him, and he has to learn the second thing also – that if the mother says no, she means it; there is no point in arguing.


This is something very valuable. Many times parents say no and then they yield. Mm? the child wants to eat more ice cream and you say no. H,e persists, and he manages to force his will and then finally you have to give in. How long can you go on ? Reluctantly you say yes, but the child has learned a trick – that he can manipulate you if he persists. That is a wrong strategy to learn; then he knows that the mother is weak. If he can go on persisting for a time you will yield. So he will nag you, cry, weep go into a tantrum, and he knows that you will yield.


Both are wrong: to be too restrictive is wrong, to be always around him is wrong. When you are really feeling that this is going to be wrong for him, then stick to what you say whatsoever the cost. If he cries for the whole night, let him, but let him understand one thing – that when the mother says no, she means it. You follow my idea? Both these things have to be there.


Then he will grow up a beautiful child.


A great energy is pulling you upwards; cooperate with that energy. That energy will be like a pillar on you, and if your body starts moving upwards – your hands, your body – cooperate with it.Just

float with it. Even if you start standing on your knees or on your feet you can, but just cooperate with the energy that is pulling you up.


Anand means bliss, amana means no-mind: blissful no-mind. And that’s what you have to achieve... and that can be achieved. That is the greatest treasure there is. When the mind drops, suddenly you are in god because that is what has been holding you away – the wall of thoughts, that continuous traffic of desires, thoughts, emotions, memories, dreams, imaginations. That is functioning as a wall, otherwise there is no gap between you and god; it is a continuity. You are part of it.but lost in your

ideas.


It is as if you are sitting in a beautiful garden and the full moon is there. All is joy, but you are lost in some idea. For you the trees don’t exist, neither does the moon nor the moonlight, nor that beautiful celebration that goes on... those flowers, those birds, nothing. You are lost in your mind. So that which is present becomes absent, and that which is not present becomes present. The mind is doing a trick: it is creating illusions which really are not but which appear to be, and because of those illusions we go on missing that which is.


So in the east, spirituality is synonymous with the state of no-mind. That’s what has to be achieved... and that’s my whole work here: to drive you so crazy that you start slipping out of the mind. A sane person is well-established in the mind. He has to be driven insane. So out of that very turmoil, he is thrown out, slips out.


In that very moment there is bliss and benediction, and there is great beauty.…


[A sannyasin says she has been giving chakra readings for the past two years. She says she tells people things without knowing where it is coming from... But people came and they send their families and their friends. Osho checks her energy.]


You can do it without any fear. And whenever you are stuck, just remember me. Put the box (which he has given her) on your heart, and it will be flowing.


Never do anything from your conscious mind, that’s all. If it is not coming, say that it is not coming; that sincerity has to be remembered. That’s what happens to many mediums, and they lose track. Some day it is flowing, some day it is not flowing, or sometimes it is flowing for a few minutes and then it is not flowing. Then the ego gets involved. It says, ‘Now I have to complete it, otherwise it looks embarrassing.’ You complete it and whatsoever you do then is going to be dangerous. When you come in, it is dangerous; then it can be harmful. If you don’t come in there is no problem at all. You are just a passage... and you can become a beautiful passage of unconscious forces. They are there!


Continue, but with this in mind: always remember that if you feel stuck, rather than supplementing it through the mind just put the box on your heart and wait. Again the flow will start within two, three minutes... but don’t make it up! Sometimes you can make it up very very accurately. Once the thread is in your hand for two, three minutes, if it is flowing you know the trend. You can make it up; you can add a few things. But those things can be dangerous, and that is not good. A medium has to be very sincere, absolutely sincere; not a single word should be added by you.


When you have done the reading and you have said something, you have come back, don’t interpret it. Say ‘This is all and I don’t know what it means. You find out the interpretation.’ Don’t you interpret, because the interpretation will be from the mind and the source from where it comes is not the mind. It will go on opening more and more. The more you are true to it, the more it will open. So you can become a great medium, and very easily. You have that intuitive quality, you have the hang of it; it just needs a little help. Not from the conscious mind... help in the sense that the conscious mind has not to be used – that awareness.


This quality will be helpful for your work also because that work is also more concerned with the unconscious than with the conscious.


[At a previous darshan the sannyasin told Osho she was studying Creative Arts therapy.]


And I will need you. Finish your one year there and then come! If you can’t finish and in the middle you feel like coming, then come. There is no need to finish; we can finish everything here. You will not be in any trouble and you will not close up, mm? Things will go on growing. And help my people there! Good.


Prem means love, and rajyogi means the royal path: the royal path of love. And love is going to be your path. Love makes everybody a king and queen; hence it is the royal path. And there is no need to go to god’s door as a beggar. One can go as an emperor, so why go as a beggar?


Don’t go desiring... go offering. Don’t go asking... go giving! And that’s what love is! The joy of giving is love, and the more you give the more you get... but getting is just a by-product. It is not the motive in it. Love is an unmotivated giving, unconditional: you love for the sheer joy of it.


So give love to people, to trees, to stars, to mountains, to all!


  

 

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