17 Don\'t adore him, absorb him

‌CHAPTER 17

Don’t adore him, absorb him

17 October 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[Osho initiates someone who belonged to the Subud movement for ten years. She says her experience with them was sad.]

I will make it blissful!...

It happens many times. When you start going inwards the first layers are of sadness, because that’s what we have been repressing our whole lives or for many lives even. We don’t show our sadness, we don’t express it. We go on repressing it, so layers upon layers of sadness are there. When you go into latihan those layers start surfacing; they can make you very very sad. Sometimes they can make you sad, sometimes they can make you angry – because anger is also there, repressed. Sometimes they can almost create a great confusion, a chaos, because that too is there. Only at the deepest core is bliss.

Latihan is a good process but yet incomplete. It is very much accidental; it is not very systematic. The steps are not very clear, because the experience that has happened to subud was accidental. It suddenly happened; he was not preparing for it. God came to him as an accident. (See the darshan diary ‘Get out of your own Way’ where Osho talks about Subud in detail.) To a few people it may happen, but in ninety-nine per cent of people it will create sadness, it will create chaos. It may bring pathology, it may drive them crazy and mad.

But to you it has not been harmful. Maybe it has been sad but it has not been harmful at all. You have to go into it a little bit more. I would like you to do a few groups here, mm. They will help clarity.

Prem means love, jwala means fire: love fire. And this ochre colour is the colour of fire. To become a sannyasin is to enter into the flames of love. It is dangerous and yet it is incredibly beautiful. Only danger is beautiful because only danger brings you to moments of joy, ecstasy. Only in danger does your life take on a kind of intensity. Then everything is intense: joy is intense, sadness is intense. All is fire.

If you can pass through the fire of love, it consumes you... it consumes all that can be consumed. In the end only a pure consciousness is left behind. So let it become your very path!

[The new sannyasin says she teaches Tantra and Hatha yoga and Sufi dancing. Osho suggests she do a few groups and then start her own group.]

You can make it a very synthetical thing – more flowing, less structured for one thing, and whatsoever starts happening in the moment you can move that way. So see arup and figure it out; then I will decide when your group starts, mm?

Deva means divine, suruchi means taste: the taste of the divine. And god has to be eaten, has to be drunk, has to be digested. God is not a word, is not a theory. It is food, it is vitality... it is life itself. God is not something to be worshipped only. God has to be allowed to circulate in your system, in your blood, in your bones, in your marrow. That is the meaning of suruchi.

Talking about food does not help, and one cannot be satisfied by reading a menu. God has to be tasted! That’s what jesus means. When on the last day he says good-bye to his disciples, he says. ‘Eat me, drink me’.Only then can god become part of your heart. God should not be a menu only,

should not be a map only. It should become a vital part of our being.and the only way is to eat.

This is a feast here and god is on the plate. If you miss, only you are responsible. You can eat and you can be satisfied forever.…

[A sannyasin says she would like to make a video about meditation which people could use at home. Osho says it is a good idea and to make it in the ashram. She asks: All alone?]

You will find many people to help you. There are so many creative people with such crazy ideas around here! Just put a notice on the notice board and you will find a thousand and one suggestions coming to you. Don’t be worried! Work it out; that’s a very good idea. Yes, that is possible.

Just through form, through colour, through dance, through music, a situation can be created in which a person can go into meditation. And video can be used: it is a very pregnant medium. So choose music, choose colour. There are painters here and musicians here; they can be of help.

The whole thing should be centred on the point that when somebody listens to that music and looks at those pictures and whatsoever is going on – movement, dance – the whole thing should create an impact on the person who is looking at it so that his thinking stops. He is simply there without any mind. The whole impact should be a stopping of the mind.and that can be done, that can be

done. Start thinking about it; it will come up!

[A sannyasin says that in a group the leader told him he had a frozen heart. He has many tears coming up which he has always pushed down before. Osho checks his energy.]

The heart is frozen... and the tears are the beginning of its melting. The more you allow tears, the more the heart will melt. And because you have never really cried in your life, the heart has forgotten how to melt. But it is beginning to. It is again getting the spark... it is sprouting.

So don’t be worried about why you are crying – sometimes for sadness, good, sometimes in joy, good. Sometimes even if there is a mixed feeling – on the one hand it is sad and on another hand it is delightful – don’t be worried about it. Just go on pouring yourself out in your tears.

Tears are one of the most beautiful things. They unburden you and they cleanse your vision... not only the physic vision. They cleanse the physical vision – tears are basically meant to clear the dust from the eyes – but spiritually also they cleanse the vision. The capacity to see becomes clearer, innocent, and the heart starts melting.

Tears are the language of the heart. Just as thoughts are the language of the mind, tears are the language of the heart. Tears are the poetry of the heart. It doesn’t matter whether you are crying in sadness or happiness. What matters is that you are crying, that you are totally in it. And don’t hold them! Don’t hesitate, don’t feel embarrassed, don’t feel shy. Become like a small child. Don’t judge, and soon they will be coming like a flood. And with their coming your heart will start functioning again. It will start getting warmth, it will become alive. And in the shadow, love will grow.

So their diagnosis is right – that the heart is frozen, but it is on the way to melting. Just a little cooperation from your side and it can melt. And once it has melted, you will know for the first time what life is.

A frozen heart means that half your being – and the most important part – is dead! Then you live only in the head. All that is intuitive is paralysed and feeling is paralysed... and all that is beautiful in life come through that part. Thought never gives you any glimpse of beauty. It is a calculating machine, it is a computer. It is good for its work but it cannot give you joy because it knows no poetry, it knows no mystery. It knows no wonder, no awe... and it cannot! If it knows wonder and awe it will not be able to calculate, so it is a natural division of labour.

The head is not given any feeling so that it can calculate perfectly. Feeling can be a disturbance. Doing mathematics and your eyes are full of tears – it won’t do! Looking at a rose flower, your eyes full of tears – it will do. The rose will be far more beautiful, incredibly more beautiful than it can be without.With those tears the rose will have a splendour that it cannot have without.

Tears are perfectly good when you are looking at a woman with deep love. Tears are perfectly good when you are looking at the moon and the heart is throbbing. Tears are good for beauty, truth, goodness, god, but that is a totally different world. The head cannot cope with it; the head is not meant to cope with it. It is another kind of instrument for the market-placeand you need some

instrument for the marketplace too, for the day to day affairs.

So nothing is wrong in it, but what has happened – and not only to you, to many people – is that they have become hooked with one part of their being, and that part is not so valuable as the part that has become paralysed.

This addiction has to be dropped. One should be free to move. Sometimes when you need calculations, calculate; you need logic, you use logic, but you are free to move. The free person

uses the mind as a dial. He can use the head, he can use the heart, he can use intellect, he can use intuition, he can use thought, he can use feeling... and he is free; he is beyond all these! He can move the dial as he wants, and he can have any instrument that is needed, functioning. He is not hooked with any particular instrument. I am not saying to be hooked with the heart. Be free and floating.

Something beautiful is coming up. These few months have been really significant for you. And if you can go on moving in the same direction, your real life has started now... unfortunately a little late, but still fortunate, because for a few it never starts. They die without knowing what life is, and the joys of life.

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