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CHAPTER 14
Meditation is manure for man
14 October 1977 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Deva dwara: door to the divine. And become one! Everybody has the potential to become one. The potential just has to be transformed into an actuality; the seed has to become the tree.
And nothing much has to be done because we don’t make a seed a tree. We simply find the right soil, put the seed in the soil and it grows. Go on watering it, cooperating with it, protecting it, while it is tender and young. And once it is grown Up there will be no need even for watering. It will be strong enough to protect itself. Meditation becomes the right soil to grow in.…
[A sannyasin says that he has no love in his body for anyone. I feel like a corpse... he has been this way from his childhood when he remembers never having any affection from his parents. Osho agrees that that may be the cause but that need not be an excuse for remaining the way one is. Don’t throw the responsibility on them, Osho says, adding that that is what the christian church with its fable of adam and eve, and later freud with his psychoanalysis, have done.
Know the cause, says Osho, but knowing the cause doesn’t help. The real problem is how to change the situation. Love can be brought into your being... because it is there! It is like a small spring. Maybe the parents have not removed the rocks around the spring so it is not flowing. Those rocks can be removed. I can remove them; my sannyasins can remove them.
Let this be your family... and you cannot get a better one! You cannot find more loving people anywhere.]
While you are here you have to leam to love. But you have to come out; nobody can bring you out. If I try to bring it out or to force it upon you, you will shrink even more deeply into your being; you will start hiding there. You have to come on your own.
The situation is here; it can happen. And it has to happen, otherwise you will remain miserable your whole life. And the older you become, the more difficult it will be, so you have to do it fast. Don’t lose any moment and don’t make any conditions. Just be loving around here. Experiment, explore.
People are beautiful phenomena. To explore a person – a man, a woman – is to explore the deepest reality. To explore a man or a woman is to explore god, because god is residing there in each shrine, in each temple, in each body. If you miss love you will miss god too because it is only love that takes you to god; there is no other way.
[The sannyasin says he has done some groups in the West but keeps falling back into his old ways. He gets a lot of love from his wife, otherwise it would be impossible.]
The question for you is how to love, not how to get love. It is good that you have a loving wife but that is not going to help. That may even make you lethargic – because you are getting love. You can settle: there is no need to love because she is loving and she goes on loving. It can even become a kind of ill investment. If you see the point that she is so loving because you are so dry, desertlike, you can even become afraid of losing your Dryness. If you lose it, who knows whether she will love you any more or not? She may be loving you so much because you are such a desert. So a fear can come into the mind.
But if you remain passive and she goes on pouring love, then what is the need to come out? – there is no challenge. You have to bring the other quality which is very very necessary. You are not to remain passive; you have to become active. You have to take the initiative; you have to give love. Otherwise you will become a beggar. You will be dependent and your wife will also become dependent.
She will feel very good because you will be dependent on her and she can be perfectly at ease about you. She will never be afraid about you, because you cannot love so you will never go to any other woman. And who is going to love you? For what? So she can become very very comfortable in it. That’s a beautiful arrangement! For her you are not dangerous as husbands are. There is no need to feel jealous; nobody is going to compete with her. It is a good arrangement for her, very economical, and it is a good arrangement for you too and very economical. You need not give; you simply get. People give love because they get only if they give.
Your wife is spoiling you. She goes on giving to you and then there is no need for you to love. You have to come out of this lethargy and passivity. It is not good to go on receiving without giving. Then you will owe so much to her that you will be burdened. It is better to keep the balance. But it can happen...
The first group you do is centering, the second group is prema, and the third group is samarpan. These three. I will go slowly.…
Encounter can help but only at a later stage. First I will give you very very soft energy groups so your energy starts moving a little bit, and then cathartic groups so energy is turned into aggression. And then something like tantra where energy can become love; this will be the process. And there is no hurry. It is better if three months are there to go slowly, step by step.
[A sannyasin said he had an experience similar to when he nearly went crazy some years ago. He was with a woman he loves. They were only touching, and he disappeared like once when he was on acid.]
Nothing to be worried about, mm? If you are afraid of it, it will always create trouble for you and whenever you go deeper it will come: either by acid or by love or by meditation. Whenever you cross that boundary of depth it will come again. You have to drop fear and go into it. Let it be. For once have the whole taste of it.
You can do one thing: just take [your girlfriend] to the river bank. sit there together in silence and let it happen. Tell her that if it happens she need not be worried. I think it will take at least forty minutes. You will go really crazy for those forty minutes but then you will come out of it for the first time really sane and then it will never happen again.
If you don’t allow it, it will hang around you. Anything incomplete is never good; it is very destructive to the system. Let it be completed. When anything has been completed you get rid of it and you feel unburdened; a rock from the heart will disappear. So you can take her to the river bank. Go to a silent space, be there together, be very loving and let it arise. And when it comes this time don’t escape from it, don’t avoid it, don’t get frightened. Welcome it, embrace it, go into it. But make her alert beforehand.
[The sannyasin says: It’s the same with her too.]
She also goes crazy? Then it is perfectly good! Then there is no problem at all. I was worried about her, mm? – because if she remains sane and you go insane, she will get into trouble! If she also goes insane then it is perfectly good.
Go any day and report to me afterwards, mm? It will be good; nothing to worry about!
[Another sannyasin says he finds it impossible to ever be spontaneous because his mind is always jumping ahead and programming what he will do, what he will say. It thinks it is so clever, and that it knows everything!]
No, I will make it puzzled and confused; don’t be worried! It will drop. Just do a few groups and it will be gone. Life will become so unpredictable you will not be able to jump ahead – no!
Yes, it is a part of the intelligent mind: it goes on ahead continuously. But then it loses much; the joy of exploration is gone. And if you know from the very beginning what is going to happen, when it happens it is already old, it has no newness in it. With this constant thinking you go on missing the present and when the future comes you miss that too because that mind says, ‘We knew it already.’
You go on rehearsing. This happens to many people, but nothing to worry about. We have arranged things here in such a way that we destroy intelligence! Soon you will be completely dumb – just wait!
[A sannyasin was in the bioenergetics group here tonight. He says he has some problem with authority – with Osho and also with the leaders in the groups here.]
You do whatsoever you feel for a few days. If you have some resistance to authority, then for one month Just do whatsoever you feel like doing. Whatsoever you choose you do, and whatsoever meditation you like, you do.…
You choose for one month, mm? because if you don’t feel good being told... Nobody here is interested in telling you to do anything. I don’t enjoy suggesting you do this. This is only out of my concern for you, that’s why. There is nobody interested in making you do anything.
For one month you be completely free and do any group that you like, any meditation that you like. If something starts happening, perfectly good; if nothing happens then you can always ask me. But then it will be absolute and whatsoever is told you have to do.
First try on your own. If things fit, perfectly good; that’s what we want. If they don’t fit then you can ask me, mm? Good!
[Another sannyasin describes an experience during an exercise of her head blowing off, which continues when she does Dynamic. She explains she left the convent where she was a nun to found a commune, which failed. She only came to Osho to learn how to set up her own commune.]
You will go mad if you do that!
Mm! because nobody is doing anything here! If you try to figure it out you will never be able to. What is happening here is not anybody’s doing: it is just a happening. It is a very crazy affair! So if you try to figure it out and try to remember things you will go mad and nothing will happen out of it. Don’t be worried about that.
And that is my feeling too – that you are not totally with me; that’s why you have been missing. For example, this disappearing of the top of the head would have become a satori for you if you were with me. Rather than fainting you would have entered into satori. But because you are not with me you missed the point. It would have become one of the golden doors for you. Something has opened. You may have lost your head forever!
And when the head is lost one becomes absolutely natural, spontaneous. One lives herenow; there is no past, no future, because they are all in the head.
If you are totally with me only then will there be the benefit. Otherwise you will try hard and things will happen... but still nothing will happen. And sometimes they can be harmful too. Mm? if you are with me, the same thing will have a positive effect. Because you are not with me you got frightened. The fear became so deep that you could not see what was happening. The fear became so deep that you lost your vision for the whole day; you became unfocused.
If you were with me you would have become focused inside. On the outside you may have remained blind for the whole day – that is not the problem – but for the first time your eyes would have seen inside. That would have been a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn in your life; you would have encountered yourself. And that’s what we are working for... but you became frightened; out of fear you fainted too. And now the same is happening in Dynamic.…
You have to leam to be totally with me, and your commune and everything else will take its own care; don’t be worried. If you are totally with me you need not remember what is happening here. You will know and then you can do it anywhere. That will be far better, because you will know the inner functioning. Otherwise you will collect only outer data and outer data is not meaningful. If you are totally with me you will know what is happening here, and once you know it you can make it happen anywhere.
Otherwise, what happens is that you see somebody playing on a sitar and you watch everything and you know how many strings are there. You count them and you write it down. You observe how long the instrument is and you write it down. The weight of the man, the age of the man who is playing, and everything you will collect, but you will miss the real thing. Because these are irrelevant! The real thing is the man – the inner man – his absorption in music, his being completely lost in it. That is what is creating the benediction, the beatitude. It is not the sitar; that is just the outermost fringe of the phenomenon.
There is a famous story in India.…
A king wanted his daughter to be married and he wanted the best man available in the world, so he found the most mathematical, scientific man in the court. He told him, ‘Go – you are the right person. These are my requirements: my son-in-law has to be twenty-six years of age – my daughter is twenty-two – this height, this colour hair, this much education...’
The man noted down everything and then he went. He could not find a man of exactly that age but he found two boys each thirteen years of age. He was a mathematician, so he thought ‘That’s perfectly good! If you cannot find a man of twenty-six, why not two boys of thirteen? That will do! It comes to twenty-six.’ And they were exactly right in all the other details. That’s what happened. He brought those two boys to the court. The king was puzzled. He said, ‘Why have you brought these boys?’ The mathematician said ‘It is absolutely the right thing to do because according to my calculations they are absolutely what you require. Only one thing is missing – that I couldn’t find a man of twenty-six years of age.’
That is what will happen to you! You forget about that. While you are here just be with mc and you will have that feel and you will be able to do something. If you want to raise a commune, this is the best place to leam. And this is just coming up, so you can leam it; there is no problem.
But, be with me!
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