5

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‌CHAPTER 5

17 February 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Prem means love and sushma means harmony – harmony that comes through love.

In fact there is no other harmony – only love gives harmony. Through love you are no more a separate part. You become one with the main, the continent. You are no more an island. And everything that was not in harmony falls into harmony.…

Arupa means formless and anand means bliss – bliss formless.

Bliss is formless. Happiness has a form, unhappiness also but bliss has no form.

[A new sannyasin said she couldn’t get into the Dynamic meditation mainly because she was lazy.…

]

If it is just laziness, then it is good to continue meditating. It is good if laziness disappears – laziness makes one toneless. The sharpness of consciousness is lost, and one becomes blurred. Nothing else is wrong in being lazy. It is just that one becomes a little blurred, and a little muddle-headedness by and by is created. One cannot remain alert, aware. One tends to become unconscious, sleepy. And sharpness of consciousness is one of the most important things in life. It should be like a sword, so that it can cut all roots of all complexes.

Just make a little more effort. If you are going two steps, go three, that’s all. When you have settled with three steps, go four.

[She asks about expressing her emotions to her boyfriend: ... because when I feel a great deal of anger, it manifests itself at that moment – I can’t contain it. And when I feel a great deal of love, it is directed towards that person. Only when I think about it, my mind goes on doubting.]

First thing: Stop thinking about it. That is basic – because the more you think about it, the more the whole trip becomes of the head. Then even when you love, you think you love. Even when you feel, you think you feel. Thinking is always in between, and feeling becomes a secondary thing – and that’s not good.

In a love. relationship, thinking should not come in. It is a crazy thing to be in love. It has nothing to do with the head. One should move through the heart. It is a sort of insanity. It is good, and higher than the so-called sanity, but don’t bring your mind and reasoning into it, otherwise you will destroy it.

Mind is a destructive force. All creativity comes out of the heart, and all that is beautiful is born of the heart. Mind is very violent. The violence may be very subtle, but it is there. It wants to manipulate, to conquer, to possess, and in a love relationship all these things are poisons.

In a love relationship you should be possessed – you should not try to possess. In a love relationship you should surrender; and you should not go on watching who has the upper hand. So stop thinking. And whenever you find yourself thinking, catch hold of yourself, and give a good jerk to the head – a real jerk so that everything inside goes upside down. Make it a constant habit, and within a few weeks you will see that that jerk helps. Suddenly you become more aware.

In Zen monasteries, the master moves around with a staff, and whenever he sees some disciple dozing, thinking, and with dreams floating on the face, he will immediately hit him hard on the head. It goes like a shock through the spine, and in a split second, thinking stops, and suddenly awareness arises.

So I cannot follow you with a staff. You give yourself a jerk, a good one, and even if people think you are a little mad don’t be worried. There is only one madness, and that is of the mind. Too much thinking is the only madness. Everything else is beautiful. Mind is the disease.

And the second thing: In a love relationship there are moments when you would like to be angry, you would like to be sad, when you would like to be loving and happy, but the other person is with you to be happy, just as you are with him to be happy.

[Osho went on to say that in those moments when you are feeling sad or angry, it is better to be alone; when sad to sit alone in your room, and when angry to beat a pillow.

If you throw your anger onto the other person, he will want to throw it back on you sooner or later, and then a vicious circle is created. And because he is another person, like you, you will never really be total. Part of you will be held back and you will feel a little guilt at what you are doing.

And the anger, Osho said, has nothing to do with whether you throw it onto a person or onto a pillow... ]

In Japan they have a very ancient tradition. In big factories and offices they have an effigy of the manager or the boss. Whenever somebody feels angry, he goes and hits the effigy of the boss and he feels very good. Then he feels compassion, feels that he went too far.

So the pillow is just representative of whoever you are feeling angry with. After the anger has been thrown, you will feel very relaxed, and you will feel deep compassion for the person.

You will see every day that your love relationship is going deeper and deeper. Otherwise love takes you deep, and anger brings you back. Then again you go a little deep, and anger brings you back. It never becomes so deep that the innermost core of your being can be touched through it. The house of love is never built, because you go on destroying it every day. So this is to be remembered.

And the third thing: When you love, be total in it. Just go wild and don’t withhold anything, because if you withhold something then the other will too. If you go wild and are totally in it, the other is also forced, pulled to it, attracted. Only when two energies go completely wild, when there is no man and no woman, no this person and that person; when all boundaries, all names disappear, and there are just two energies meeting and merging like wild waves of the sea, then you realise what love is.

Then even one moment of that love is enough, because it will give you the taste of eternity.

[A sannyasin said he had a hangup of wanting to possess an enormous penis and had felt this desire almost since he was ten. Having said this, he said he felt much better for having done so.]

It is good to say, because sometimes a few things simply disappear by saying them.

And nothing is wrong in it. It is one of the most deep-rooted human desires. The sex organ is a symbolic thing. It is the symbol of all creativity, of all life, of all potentiality. Because of the symbol you have completely forgotten the meaning of it.

That is why all over the world the phallus has been worshipped for centuries – the shivalinga. People who started worshipping it were of the same desire, but they did well – they made the desire divine. If you go and worship the shivalinga, you never feel guilty. But if you think of an enormous phallus, you do feel guilty; you cannot even tell anybody.

God cannot be symbolised better than by the shivalinga. It is the perfect symbol. God is the enormous penis. Once you understand it, the whole problem disappears.

So if you ask me what is the meaning of it, it is that you would like to become a very creative person; that you would like to give birth to something enormous, something bigger than you. And the desire is religious, and very creative, very artistic.

But the word penis disturbs one because of our repressions and taboos and a thousand and one things that have surrounded that word. It is almost impossible to utter the word without feeling guilty.

But there is nothing wrong in it. You can have a shivalinga in your room, and whenever the desire arises, you can hold it, and get in tune with it. Suddenly you will see yourself full of light and energy.

Once you condemn a desire it becomes a problem. And my whole idea is never to condemn anything. Find a way to appreciate and praise it. The problem is created by others’ attitudes. You can drop the desire, you can suppress it and forget it, but if you are a creative person it will go on asserting itself again and again. And you are a creative person. Once you accept this desire, much creativity will come to you. You will feel completely relaxed.

So find a good shivalinga and bring it to me. I will charge it, and then you keep it. It is perfectly beautiful. There is nothing to be worried about.

[A visitor says that he has been living in his imagination a lot and it seems to separate him from the real world.]

It separates. The screen is very subtle and transparent, but it separates – and one day it has to be dropped. Once you drop it, then for the first time you are no more playing with shadows, and reality penetrates you.

Mind is just a reflecting system, just like a mirror. You stand before the mirror and it reflects you, but the person who is reflected in the mirror is just a shadow, and howsoever beautiful, is not there. And if you start chasing that reflection, you go on infinitely chasing mirror upon mirror, and you completely forget that you are chasing reflections.

It is as if you see the moon in the lake, and you dive into the lake to catch the moon. It is not there. And the more you miss, the more desperate becomes the search. The moon is somewhere else – it is only reflected in the lake. Nothing is wrong with the lake, nothing is wrong with the reflection, but the reflection should not be taken for reality. Then you can use the mind, and you will not be used by it.

There is nothing wrong with the mind. It is one of the most beautiful things in existence, the most complex, the most subtle thing. The universe has taken so long to evolve mind – so it is valuable, tremendously valuable – but one should not get identified with reflections. Use the mind and don’t be used by it.

And the second thing that you ask is that you would like to create the heart. In fact there is no need. The heart is always there, only you are cut off. The bridge is broken or blocked because the whole energy moves in the mind, so the heart is left by the side, is no more...

[The visitor says: ... the mind will corrupt something that is given from the heart.]

No, mind cannot corrupt anything, because mind cannot create anything. Mind only goes on reflecting. The mirror cannot corrupt anything. What can it corrupt? If you are already corrupt, then the mirror can reflect that, it can show the corruption.

Lord Acton has said, ‘Power corrupts, and corrupts absolutely.’ It looks absolutely right, but it is not. Power never corrupts – it only reveals corrupted people. In the first place, corrupted people are attracted to power. An innocent person is not worried about power. He is not interested in whether he is going to be a president or a prime minister – the whole thing seems futile.

But a corrupted person needs more power – to hide the corruption; to do it and not to be caught. Only power can corrupt him and his corruption. The less powerful he is, the less prone to corruption. Corrupt people are attracted to power, and once they achieve it, of course they start all sorts of corruptions. Then it looks as through power corrupts, but it simply reveals, it is a mirror.

Money reveals; it never corrupts anybody. If you don’t have any money you cannot be corrupted, because even for corruption you will need a little money. Once you get the money then the whole trip starts.

Mind cannot corrupt you, but it can show – and it is a good indicator of where you are going. It is a good thermometer. Once you understand how to use it, it becomes such a great instrument. In the right hands, mind becomes the very process of reaching to God and reality.

If you really want to be in your heart, a few things will have to be done. A totally new orientation will be needed, because you have been thinking too much, and you enjoy thinking. And nothing is wrong in it. It is a subtle play of consciousness, and beautiful sweet dreams, but still, dreams. A totally new orientation will be needed.

A few meditations will be very very helpful because they give you a breakthrough. Choose one or two of these meditations and just go on doing them for three or four months, without bothering about the results – just go on doing them. If you can go on without bothering about results, results will start coming. They come, they have to come. One just has to create a passage in the body for the energy to move. And an active process will be very very helpful, because people who are active types need to move to the opposite pole of activity.

Do something physical – swimming, dancing, running, anything physical – in which the mind is not needed at all. Anything where the mind is not needed will be very helpful. And once you can be without the mind, even for a few moments, the mind stops.

Dancing a wild dance, a moment comes when there is only whirling. The energy whirls, and the mind cannot think, because the whole thing is moving so fast. And there is no need for the mind to think, because the body is doing everything. The mind stops. And in those gaps for the First time you will have a taste of reality, something of the beyond. And it is so catching, so magic and miraculous, that once you have those gaps, you desire them more and more. They rejuvenate you. they revitalise you. They give you a new elan, a new life.

By and by a comparison arises in you. You see that mind can give you a few glimpses but cannot give you reality. But this is possible only when reality has been tasted – then only comparison is possible.

Once you see the moon in the sky, then you see that the lake and the mirrored moons are just beautiful reflections. You can go on enjoying them, but now the illusion is broken.

[A sannyasin asks about going up and down. Sometimes I don’t know what is mind, what is feeling... where I am.]

Good, let it go up and down. You remain separate and just watch it. It is not you who is going up and down – it is the mind. You are separate.

... Feeling, thinking, everything, is mind. You are just the witness who is seeing all these things.

For example you see that the mind is going up, or that it is going down – the seer is you. That which is seen is not you. You follow me? The object – that which you see – is not you. The one who is seeing the object – the subject – is you.

You are looking at me. You are the seer, I am the seen – I am not you. You look at the hand. The hand is the object, and you are the seer – you are not the hand. You look inside and a thought arises, a feeling comes – that is not you.

Go on remembering that you are the pure seer, and by and by all these ups and downs will disappear, and you will be left alone. Just don’t be identified.

[A visitor said his meditation is interrupted because he travels a lot.]

Something can be found . . . because any meditation that is disturbed again and again is not good. Something is needed that can be done in spite of your travelling, as a continuity...

[The visitor adds: I understand the idea of meditating all the time, but... ]

No, not all the time – no need to do it all the time. A few times in the day, just a few minutes will do. There are a few things which, if done too much, can be harmful.

For example. the latest results say that if you do some body exercises for twenty minutes, then do the same exercise for forty minutes, the benefit will not be doubled. You can do it for sixty minutes and now the wheel will be turning – the benefit will become harmful. It is exactly as when you eat something which is beneficial. Then you eat more, and it is no more beneficial; it has become harmful. So ordinary mathematics won’t do.

Whenever you find time, just for a few minutes relax the breathing system, nothing else – there is no need to relax the whole body. Sitting in the train or plane, or in the car, nobody will become aware that you are doing something. Just relax the breathing system. Let it be as when it is functioning naturally. Then close your eyes and watch the breathing going in, coming out, going in.…

[The visitor asks: And forget everything else completely, just concentrate?]

No no, not concentrate. If you concentrate, you create trouble, because then everything becomes a disturbance. If you try to concentrate sitting in the car, then the noise of the car becomes a disturbance, the person sitting beside you becomes a disturbance.

Meditation is not concentration. It is simple awareness. You simply relax and watch the breathing. In that watching, nothing is excluded. The car is humming – perfectly okay, accept it. The traffic is passing – that’s okay, part of life. The fellow passenger snoring by your side, accept it. Nothing is rejected. You are not to narrow down your consciousness.

Concentration is a narrowing down of your consciousness so you become one-pointed, but everything else becomes a competition. You are fighting everything else because you are afraid that the point may be lost. You may be distracted, and that becomes disturbing. Then you need seclusion, the Himalayas. You need India, and a room where you can sit silently, nobody disturbing you at all.

No, that is not right – that cannot become a life process. It is isolating yourself. It does have some good results – you will feel more tranquil, more calm – but those results are temporary. That’s why you feel again and again that tone is lost. Once you don’t have the conditions in which it can happen, it is lost.

A meditation in which you need certain prerequisites, in which certain conditions need to be fulfilled, is not meditation at all – because you will not be able to do it when you are dying. Death will be such

a distraction. If life distracts you, just think about death. You will not be able to die meditatively, and then the whole thing is futile, lost. You will die again tense, anxious, in misery, in suffering, and you create immediately your next birth of the same type.

Let death be the criterion. Anything that can be done even while you are dying is real – and that can be done anywhere; anywhere, and with no condition as a necessity. If sometimes good conditions are there, good, you enjoy them. If not, it makes no difference. Even in the marketplace you do it.

[Osho went on to describe this breathing meditation in more detail. (See ‘Above All, Don’t Wobble’ – Jan 18th)

The visitor asked if there should be any attempt to control the breath.]

No, no attempt to control it, because all control is from the mind, so meditation can never be a controlled thing.

Mind cannot meditate. Meditation is something beyond the mind, or below the mind, but never within the mind. So if the mind remains watching and controlling, it is not meditation; it is concentration. Concentration is a mind effort. It brings the qualities of the mind to their peak. A scientist concentrates, a soldier concentrates; a hunter, a research worker, a mathematician, all concentrate. These are mind activities.

[The visitor asks: How many times a day would you suggest?]

Any time. There is no need to make a fixed time. Use whatsoever time is available. In the bathroom when you have ten minutes, just sit under the shower and meditate. In the morning, in the afternoon, just four or five times, for small intervals – just five minutes – meditate, and you will see that it becomes a constant nourishment.

There is no need to do it for twenty-four hours.

Just a cup of meditation will do. (laughter) No need to drink the whole river. Just a cup of tea will do. And make it as easy as possible. Easy is right. Make it as natural as possible. And don’t be after it – just do it whenever you find time. Don’t make a habit of it, because all habits are of the mind, and a real person in fact has no habits.

[A 70-year old group participant said that during meditation she began to see beautiful pictures of places she didn’t know.]

Very good. That’s a good symbol. When the mind by and by becomes silent, first words are lost, then pictures arise; because pictures are the language of childhood, and are the language of the primitive man.

So the first layer is of words and the second layer is of pictures. First words disappear and then pictures arise. They are very colourful and tremendously beautiful – enchanting, majestic. Don’t be too much attached to them. Just watch, and remain far away. They will become more and more beautiful, more and more golden, and more luminous, because as you go back towards your

childhood everything becomes more beautiful – it was – and you will relive it in memory again. You will become a child again, running after butterflies, and everything will become absolutely new. One tends to get caught. One tends to remain with it and enjoy it. That has to be remembered. Just remain a spectator – unconcerned, indifferent. Go on remembering that this too has to pass.

Once pictures disappear, the mind is not. Suddenly there will be gaps, just empty gaps – no words, no pictures. You are left alone. Those gaps will give you the first glimpse of what meditation is. It is going well.

And it is natural that sometimes you will feel very happy, sometimes very unhappy. It is just like a wheel turning. Remain unattached. When you are happy, don’t be too excited about it. Know that this too will pass. And when you become unhappy, know that this too will pass. Both will pass, and by and by you will be able to see the wheel of the mind, and you will be separate from it.

[A sannyasin says: I’ve fulfilled all my fantasies... but there is just that something missing.]

This is good... because whenever people desire something and it is immediately fulfilled, they will start feeling that something is missing. Whatsoever you have been fantasising was filling you, and because it was not fulfilled there was hope. Now you will be feeling hopeless. You will see that you have what you wanted, and still nothing has happened.

But this is a good point. Let it sink in as deeply as possible so that you never fantasise again. Be in it, and don’t be in a hurry, otherwise something will remain and it will sprout again. Be finished with this fantasy. Do whatsoever you want to do, go in all directions. You will fool yourself, but that has to be done, mm? because there is no other way. So be finished, be really tired of all the nonsense, and only out of that experience, maturity arises.

By and by you will feel more and more frustrated, hopeless. All your dreams will be realised, and still nothing will happen. If even a little hope remains, again you will become a victim. So I will give you a little rope more!

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