20

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‌CHAPTER 20

10 March 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says that sometimes she feels fear, and when she sees Osho during the lectures, her body begins trembling.]

That’s very good, mm? Fear is natural – because you are moving somewhere you have never moved before... a territory completely unknown to you. Not only unknown, but unconnected with all that you have known... uncharted, with no map. You have to depend only on my trust.

And the whole training of the mind is for doubt. Particularly the modern training, is basically of doubt. The whole scientific structure depends on doubt, and the whole world-mind is being trained to be scientific. So everybody is ready to doubt – that comes easy because the training is there. Trust has become almost impossible. Once it was as easy as doubt is today. But a totally different mind was in existence, because the whole world-mind was trained for trust. Then doubt was impossible, and science was impossible.

So your whole training, your whole past, is unconnected with what you are doing – so fear is natural.

And there will be trembling whenever you come to me. And it is a good symbol, a good indication. If you are not trembling when you are with me, that means you are not sensitive. That means you are not feeling me. If you feel me you are going to be shaken. The more you will feel, the more you will become afraid. But in spite of the fear you have to come with me.

Nothing can be done about the fear. One has to go knowing it is here. You are afraid of the dark – but what to do? One has to pass through the dark because the morning is possible only if you pass through the night. So in spite of the fear and the doubt and everything, in spite of all that, one loves and trusts and goes on.

Soon you will get accustomed to the new that is arising in you. Soon you will become more and more accustomed to me and my energy. I hen the trembling will start changing... it will have a rhythm. Then you will not call it trembling. You will call it a vibration. It will not be just a trembling... it will have a music of its own. You will be thrilled by it.

It is as if somebody, unknown to the instrument, comes and starts playing on it – only vibrations, only sounds, but by and by one becomes accustomed to it – one learns how to play with it. One learns the art – and then music arises out of the same noise, the same sound. Now it is no more a discord; accord arises, a harmony.

In the beginning it is just a trembling. By and by you will learn how to play with it... how to enjoy it and delight in it. And it will become an inner music, an inner dance, mm?

So feel blessed... and feel happy. Everything is going well. Just go on meditating, and these things drop by themselves. Nothing to worry about, or pay much attention to – because if you pay attention and start fighting, you give them energy. Attention is food. So never pay attention to anything which is not worth anything. Even if you are against it, you feed it. Just by-pass it... indifferent, aloof. Things are going well.

[A sannyasin says: I see nothing positive at the moment, but I want to be on the positive side. There are a lot of no’s in me.]

You do one thing – say yes to all those no’s.

You are creating a fight. Your mind is accustomed to saying no, and you desire that it should say yes – so you are creating a conflict, mm? And you are becoming divided – and this division is not going to help.

Just desiring positivity is not of much use. Because the desire is coming out of no. The desire, the very desire to say yes, is rooted in the no.

So do one thing – at least don’t say no to no. Say yes. Accept the no-saying. Start your yea-saying from this. Let this be the beginning. The mind says no, you say yes – to whatsoever it says. It says Osho is wrong, you say yes.

And this is the way you will pull the very earth out from underneath the no. Don’t fight with the no. What to do? The mind says no – and the mind is you. And you have trained it. These are the seeds you have sown, so you have to crop them. Accept them.

For seven days, accept all that the mind says, all its noise. Don’t try to be calm. Accept the noise... and through that acceptance you will see a calmness arising, which will .not be opposite to your no. If it is opposite it is going to create trouble for you.

Yes is needed – but not as opposite to no. Yes is needed in an absence of no... when there is no no, and yes arises. Then you are one, mm? So let the mind lead and you follow. And after seven days, you come back and tell me.

[The Vipassana group is present. The groupleader says: But the problem starts when you say ‘relax’... they get restless.]

No, no, don’t say anything about relaxation. In fact relaxation is a by-product. The moment you say to people to relax, you are saying something that is impossible for them to do, and they cannot understand what you mean. They understand the word, but relaxation is not an action they can do

It is just as if you say to somebody, ‘Go to sleep!’ Now what is he going to do? He can close the eyes, he can pretend to go to sleep. But you say, ‘Don’t pretend, really go to sleep!’ What do you suppose he can do?

So if you want him to go into sleep, just the opposite thing is to be done – tell him to go and have a run around the house. Let him get tired, and then come and lie down on the bed. Don’t talk about sleep – he will fall asleep!

Sleep is a by-product... it is not an activity. Language gives a wrong impression, because to sleep means to do something.

So concentration they can do because it is a tension. Tell them to concentrate and bring as much effort as they can – their whole energy. Then suddenly they will find that they are moving in the opposite dimension – of relaxation. Relaxation comes – tension has to be created. So you insist on tension.

They have to be told to make whatsoever effort they can... no stone is to be left unturned.

... because their restlessness is concentrated. They know what to do. Once you tell them to relax, they don’t know what to do. All their energy is there, and it makes them restless.

In the military they are doing all sorts of stupid things, mm? Just a parade every day for three hours – and it is useless! (laughter) It is useless – but it helps. This is my experience – that people who are in the army are more relaxed, more calm than anyone else. Every day, a three, four hour parade and they are finished.

[A sannyasin said he felt very tranquil, but on the fourteenth day developed gastro-enteritis. Osho suggested he continue one hour’s Vipassana meditation every day]

Just sitting, try to catch the feeling that came to you on the twelfth day... the tranquillitythe silence.

Catch hold of it again and again so that soon, within a few days, you will be able to catch the thread of it.

Because all the experiences that happen are not really happenings – they are part of your mind. You never lose them... they are always there. Touch the same spot again, and again the same experience.

It is not a question of gaining and losing something, mm? All the spaces that you have been in, and that you will be in, are always available. The tranquillity that you felt is not something that you

had attained through the practice. No, the space has always been there. Through the practice you stumble upon it. Once you have known that it is there, things become easy.

All these methods are just... a groping. You grope, and sometimes you open a window.

Move in that space again, and within a few days you will have the knack of it. It is just a hunch, a knack. One day suddenly you will see that again the window is open. And without doing anything, more and more it will become available to you. It becomes so easy that with just the decision that you would like to open it, you close your eyes – and it is open.

It is not a question of twenty days or twenty years. If you have had one glimpse, that glimpse should be made a key. Use that key again and again. Bigger and better doors will be opening.

This is why in the East we call these spaces remembrances... you have simply forgotten, that’s all. They are not new achievements, just remembrances. You have forgotten – and so much so that you cannot recognise them. But it is always a remembrance. God is a remembrance.

So from tomorrow morning, choose a time. And choose the peak time of your mind – because twenty-four hours are not the same. Everybody has a peak hour. So just watch... whenever you are feeling good, really good, and healthy and whole, these are the moments. It is almost a wheel.

There are people who are always feeling good in the morning, and by the afternoon they are not so good. And there are people who feel good in the evening, but for the whole day they are dull. And there are people who will become alive only at midnight.

So just watch for your peakest hour – and use that for this remembrance. That will be the easiest time to flow... ride on that and immediately move into that space. Never use the low hour – because there are low hours. Because then you will be moving against the current.

So every day you move in that space...

[A group member said: The breathing was just happening by itself, and there was no sort of fighting with it. And watching thoughts... just being on a different level to them.]

Very good. That’s the thing to remember now. That is the moment when a shift of consciousness happens. You suddenly realise that the breathing is happening on its own... you are not breathing – you are being breathed.

That is the moment when suddenly you are no more the same person. You have become passive... you are no more active. Then you function as a female energy, not as a male energy... the change from yang to yin.

Suddenly one realises that everything is happening. Because once you see that breathing is happening – you are not doing anything, you are nobody to do it, you are not needed at all, breathing is going on on its own – then your total attitude towards life is different in that moment. It is no more egoistic... that’s what surrender is. You function as a non-ego – and that is the only function that is worth remembering.

So you remember it again and again. Just sit silently and leave the breathing, as if you are not the doer. After a few moments you will suddenly have the glimpse again – and the breathing will take possession. And once you are possessed and you are breathed, then you are cleansed completely.

It has been good, tremendously good, mm? but don’t lose the track of it.

... You become a witness in that moment. Then one becomes just a watcher. The mind is doing both the things – it is talking to itself. Both the parties are part of the mind. Suddenly you are out of it... you are not involved. It is as if two people are talking and you are just there, unconcerned... that gives you a strange feeling – everything seems to be unreal, mm?

[A group member said: The vipassana made me aware of the chattering in my mind... and accepting myself more easily.]

Good... it has been good.

Accept yourself so deeply that even the feeling of acceptance disappears. Because the very feeling that you are accepting, has an inner rejection in U, mm? Some effort, some sort of subtle effort.… But it is natural in the beginning.

First one is trained to condemn oneself, to hate in fact. The whole society lives on your condemnation. The individual has to be condemned – only then he can be exploited. He has to be filled with so much guilt that he cannot become rebellious. He is to be almost crushed by his own guilt, so that he cannot assert his individuality... cannot become a soul. At the most he becomes an efficient mechanism in the society. That’s the trick, the conspiracy of the society against the individual.

So it is great to come to an understanding that you can accept. But this is not the end – this is just the middle of the process.

By and by accept yourself so deeply that the feeling of acceptance also evaporates. Then there is nobody to accept, and nobody to be accepted. Only you are. You understand? Even the division that you accept is no more there.

It will come...

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