Chapter title: None

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14 February 1980 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

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Archive code: 8002145 ShortTitle: NEVER14 Audio:

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[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been copy-typed. It is for reference purposes only.]

This is your name: Ma Dhyan Bernadette.

Dhyan mean meditation. Bernadette literally means a bear's heart, but metaphorically it means resurrection, the beginning of a new life.

Meditation is a beginning of a new life. It is a resurrection. We love through the mind -- that is one way of life: dull, sterile, unoriginal, imitative, mechanical, repetitive, because mind is a machine. To function through the mind is to become a routine, a rut; hence living through the mind brings boredom. As one grows older one becomes more and more bored. And the more intelligent you are, the sooner you feel the shadow of boredom. It is only the idiots who are never bored. Animals are not bored. A certain intelligence is needed to see the

futility of what you are doing.

The moment meditation starts you start living directly, you bypass the mind -- that's the whole art of meditation: mind remains there but it is no more your door to existence. It is used as a computer, as a memory system, you can always refer to it, it is your past, it contains all the files of the past, but there is no need to live through those files. They can be piled by the side and you can relate to existence directly, through awareness, not through thought. That's what meditation is all about.

And the moment you relate with existence directly, immediately, without the interference of the past, when you relate to existence now and here, it is a resurrection. It is a beginning of a life which is eternal, which is infinite, which is divine.

This is your name: Ma Dhyan Lena.

Dhyan means meditation. Lena means light. It also means the bright one, the intelligent one.

The inner light consists of intelligence. The more intelligent you are, the more light-full. The more unintelligent, the more dark.

People are living lives in darkness, because they don't apply their intelligence at all. Meditation means applying intelligence to each of your act, to each of your thought, to each of your feeling. These are the three dimensions of your life: the body, the mind and the heart. And the moment you start applying intelligence, your intelligence becomes more and more sharpened.

The ultimate sharpening of intelligence is meditation. These three -- the body, the mind and the heart --

are three schools to learn meditation. Once you have learned you can go beyond the school; there is no need to remain inside the school any more. You have passed, you have learned the art.

People go on living repetitively -- that's a way of destroying one's intelligence. One should try in every possible way to be original, to be one's own self, not an imitation. A Christian is trying to imitate Christ --

that is an unintelligent way of life. Christ never tried to imitate anybody. He was not imitating Abraham or Moses, the old prophets; he was not imitating anybody, he was not imitating even his own master, John the Baptist. He was living according to his own intelligence, that's what brought him to the ultimate peak of consciousness. And the same is true about Buddha, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu, Kabir, Nanak, to all the awakened ones.

But the strange thing is that the people who never imitated anybody are being imitated by millions!

There are Hindus, there are Mohammedans, there Christians, there are Jews, there are Buddhists -- all imitators!

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Osho's books on CD-ROM, published and unpublished

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My sannyasins have not to imitate ANYbody, including me. They have to be just themselves, totally, utterly.

Live your life as if you are the first person on the earth, live as if you are Adam or Eve -- nobody has there been before so there of no way to imitate. Once you start living your life according to your own light without any fear of committing mistakes -- mistakes are bound to be committed, they are natural, inevitable and beneficial too. Unless one commits mistakes one never learns. Of course one should not commit the same mistake again, because that is stupid. Go on finding new mistakes, mew errors, new ways of going astray.

It is better to go astray on a new path than to follow the crowd on the right path, because it is not a question of right and wrong; the question is of authenticity, sincerity to oneself, responsibility towards one's own being.

Meditation is application of intelligence into whatsoever you are doing, and then slowly slowly you intelligence becomes a light unto itself. Last words of Buddha to the world were "Be a light unto yourself."

This is your name: Ma Dhyan Surya.

Dhyan means meditation. Surya means the sun, the source of all light.

A man without meditation lives in a dark night of the soul. The moment you start meditating the sung already starts rising on the eastern horizon. The colour that I have chosen for my sannyasins is the colour of the dawn, when the sung is just rising. All the shades of red are there on the horizon, projected on the clouds.

The colour of the dawn is the colour of revolution. Communists have chosen it for the outer revolution; I have chosen it for the inner revolution. And the outer revolution is nothing compared to the inner revolution. The outer revolution proves only a reform; it never proves to be really a revolution, because the man remains the same. You only go on changing the structures around him. The prison is changed but the prisoner remains the same, and still imprisoned -- maybe in a more comfortable prison, more convenient, with television sets and football grounds and utter facilities which are available to the free people -- but still he is in the prison, the freedom is not there.

The inner revolution brings freedom and the only way to make oneself go through the inner revolution is meditation. Meditation simply means learning to forget all that you have learned. It is a process of deconditioning, a process of dehypnosis.

The society has burdened everybody with thousands of thoughts. Meditation simply helps you to come you of that world of thoughts, into a state of silence. It is a process of cleaning your slate completely, it is emptying all that has been forced and stuffed inside you.

Once you are empty, spacious, silent, clean, the revolution has happened, the sun has risen; then you live in its light! And to live in the light of your inner sun is to live rightly. In fact that is the only way to live.

Others are only dying, just dying slowly, moving in a queue goes on becoming shorter and shorter every moment, and any moment you may be the first in the queue. In fact everybody is trying to be first in the queue; a great desire to be the first everywhere.

The ordinary life is only called life, it is not. It is only so-called life. It is a process of gradual death or to be more accurate, a process of gradual suicide.

The moment you become silent and aware and clear and your inner sky is full of delight, you know the first taste of true life. One can call it god, one can call it enlightenment, one can call it liberation. The experience of truth, love, freedom, bliss -- different names, but the phenomenon is the same.

This is your name: Ma Dhyan Amritam. Dhyan means meditation. Amritam means the experience of immortality.

Man lives under the illusion of mortality. Of course there are reasons for the illusion, because he sees people dying, disappearing. Somebody was alive just the other day and today he is no more: there is death everywhere. Trees are dying, animals are dying, flowers are dying, people are dying, and one also sees people are born, trees are born, and seeing this all around on infers -- remember, it is an inference -- one assumes that "The same is going to be the truth about me; one day I was not, then I was born, one day I will not be again, I will die." It is very logical.

In all the books written about logic you will find this statement: All men are mortal, Socrates is a man, 1/08/07

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therefore Socrates is mortal. This is our whole logical process. If everybody dies then obviously I cannot be the exception, nobody has ever been the exception, so everybody lives under the shadow of death. It is one of the most strange things, that we are believing that we are born and that we will die. In fact we were never born and we will never die birth and death are not the boundaries of our life. Life is eternal.

The birth is only the birth of the body and the mind structure, not the birth of our real being. And death is also the death of the body-mind structure not the death of our inner being, but we are not aware of our inner being; hence the illusion. We go on feeling identified with the body-mind structure. This identification creates fear, anxiety, trembling.

Meditation simply helps you to become disidentified with body-mind structure.

It makes you aware of a single thing, that you are not the body, that you are not the mind, that you are a consciousness which is absolutely separate.

The moment it is realised you have discovered your original face, and then there is no birth, no death.

With the discovery of the original faith, face, all fears, all anxieties disappear. Then life is a sheer dance, a rejoicing. Then it is a celebration, a festival of lights, flowers, songs.

And that's my whole effort here: to help my people to see their immortality, their eternalness, their eternity, their timelessness, deathlessness. And it is not difficult because it is the reality. To dispel the idea of mortality is not difficult because it is not a real thing; it is just an inference; looking somebody dying you think, "You will have to die." But when you see somebody dying what you are seeing is only his body is no more breathing, his body is no more capable of walking, talking, doing anything -- that's all that you know.

You don't know that something within him has disappeared. What you are watching is only the cage, not eh invisible bird -- and that was his real life.

From the outside you can only see the cage, and of course a cage is there -- it is dead, it was always dead. The song belonged to the bird. You had heard the song. The bird is no more there; hence the song has disappeared -- but it is an inference, looking at other's death. This is not a true experience of reality... a logical conclusion, but logic is very limited and life is unlimited.

Logic is very superficial and life has abysmal depth. Life has such an infinity, unfathomable, immeasurable, that logic is just like a teaspoon and you are trying to measure the ocean with the teaspoon --

it is absurd.

The only right way is to go within yourself and see whether you are just the body-mind or is there something more to it? There is something more, something plus, and that something more is your essence, your reality, your soul.

This is your name: Swami Dhyan Gyano.

Dhyan means meditation. Gyano means knowing.

There is no other way of knowing the truth except meditation. One can accumulate much knowledge without meditation, but that knowledge is dead, because it is not your own -- it is borrowed -- and truth cannot be borrowed.

Truth is untransferrable, inexpressible. One can experience it, one can see it, one can feel it, but it remains with the person who has experienced it. he cannot give it to anybody else. He can show the way how to reach to it, but he cannot say what it is exactly, precisely, there is no possibility of defining it. Hence all the scriptures are roundabout: they go round and round in circles. They are beautiful words, very well-spun theories, systematically, logically-made structures, but truth is not to be found there.

You will find only theories, ideologies. you can become knowledgeable through scriptures but you cannot become a knower. The only way to know is meditation, the only way too know is to get out of knowledge, out of mind, out of all words and scriptures and theories, and to be innocent like a child: just watching, remaining open, available.

If truth knocks on the door then it will not find you asleep, that's all. That's what a sannyasin is supposed to do: becoming silent and waiting. When the moment is ripe, truth knocks on the door. When the moment is ripe, god walks in. Not even a single minute is lost, the happening is simultaneous: here you are ripe and suddenly you see all that you have been seeking has arrived. You need not go anywhere for searching, you need not go outside yourself to look for it. You have just to become settled, calm, quiet, still, and wait! --

and wait patiently, don't be in a hurry. Because if you are in a hurry you will remain in a turmoil, disturbed, distracted.

Just waiting, doing nothing, remaining silent, waiting for the footsteps -- any moment, the guest can 1/08/07

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come. So one is alert, watchful, and there comes a certain stage of awareness, when the guest simply walks in. And the moment the guest walks in, the host

and the guest are no more separate; then there is great laughter, because for the first time you meet yourself, for the first time you are the host and you are the guest. And of course, what else there is except to have a good laugh? Only Buddhas can laugh, laugh totally, at the beautiful ridiculousness of life, beautiful absurdity of life -- that the seeker is the sought, that the goal is not there but here within you, that you are carrying your goal within yourself, that the person you are looking for is hiding within you, that the person you are looking for is the person who is looking for (laughter). Obviously it is absurd, but what can be done about it? -- it is so!

This is your name: Ma Dhyan Atmo. Dhyan means meditation. Atmo means the supreme self, the ultimate reality of your being, your very essential core.

Man can live either on eh circumference or at the centre. To live at the circumference is easy, cheap, because everybody is living there. But to live at the centre is a great challenge, because you will be living there all alone. You will not find a crowd there. And to be alone needs the greatest courage in the world, that's why very few people have been able to know their innermost core, because the journey is absolutely solitary.

So meditation prepares you for this journey. It transforms your loneliness into aloneness, your solitariness into solitude -- that's the miracle of meditation. There is vast difference between the feeling of loneliness and the experience of aloneness, between solitariness and solitude.

Solitariness is negative, solitude is positive. Solitariness is ugly, solitude is beautiful.

Solitariness is like a wound, a black hole inside you, which hurts. One wants to cover it, one wants to escape away from it, one wants somebody to be with so one can forget one's solitariness. Solitude is like Everest: it is a virgin peak. Just a single moment of it is more valuable than the whole life of living with the crowds. the whole life of so-called relationships is just sheer madness compared to a single moment of solitude. It is so healthy and so whole. And the same is true about loneliness and aloneness: loneliness is negative, aloneness is positive; loneliness means you are missing the other, aloneness means you are enjoying yourself. And meditation's whole function is to transform the negative into the positive, to transform the miserable into the blissful. Once you have tasted the

joy of being alone, the beauty of solitude, you can rush in -- then there is no problem, then the journey is a joy. That each moment the joy becomes bigger and bigger, each moment it is more and more incredible, each moment you are surprised because you were thinking that you had reached the last -- now what more there can be? But again there is more: once you reach one peak suddenly you see another peak waiting ahead of you, higher. And it goes on, it is an endless journey.

As you start coming closer and closer to your centre, your behaviour on the circumference changes. It becomes more and more loving, compassionate, calm, friendly. It becomes less greedy, less angry, less jealous, less possessive. It becomes more and more a song, a dance, as if suddenly a spring has come to you and thousands of flowers has burst forth.

And when you have reached to the very centre of your being you have known all that is worth knowing

-- knowing oneself one knows all. The name of that innermost core is the supreme self. It is not YOURself.

You are left far behind, you are lift on the circumference. The ego is no more there so you are no more there, but in a way you are for the first time but egolessly. That is the meaning of the supreme self: egoless experience of one's being.

This is your name: Ma Dhyan Anatto.

Dhyan means meditation. Anatto means egolessness.

Meditation and egolessness are synonymous, two sides of the same coin. Ego is synonymous with the mind, egolessness is synonymous with meditation, because meditation is a state of no-mind, no-thought, no-desire, no ambition, no memory, no past, no future; one simply is, one, one's utter nudity, nakedness.

All the clothes of the past and the future are discarded. One is just herenow. There is no push from the behind, from the past, and no pull of the future either. One is not going anywhere, as if suddenly the clock has stopped, the time has stopped. In the stopping of the time ego disappears.

Ego can live only with the tick tock of the clock, it can move only with the

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the past and the future. Just think, if you withdraw your past how much ego will be left there. Then you don't know even who you are -- Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan, Indian, Chinese, Russian -- you don't know at all. Past is removed. Then remove the future also -- what is left? No ambition, no goal, no destiny to be fulfilled, nowhere to go, nothing to be found, nothing to be discovered -- you have pulled the whole earth underneath the ego structure: it will collapse, it will simply collapse like a palace made of playing cards. It cannot remain even for a single moment.

Just a small breeze of meditativeness and the whole palace disappears, as if it has never been there, as if it was just a mirage, a dream -- and in fact that's what it is. Our mind is made of the stuff dreams are made of, our whole ego is nothing but a long-projected dream.

The mind functions like a screen and we project on the screen our ego. The past is half of the ego, the future, the other half. Take both the halves apart and in the interval you discover your reality. In between the past and the future is the gap. In that gap is meditation, in that gap is egolessness. That gap is the most pregnant gap because out of that gap Buddhas are born. Out of that gap arises the experience of god.

Nirvana now or never

Chapter #15

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