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CHAPTER 5
5 April 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
[A sannyasin was leaving to start a new job but wonders if he should finish things there and return as soon as possible.]
Just finish things there and come back, because things have started moving. Now much more is on the way; it is not the time to get into anything else. You have come to the final trip so there are no other trips left! Just go, finish things, come back and be part of the family here.
I would like as many sannyasins as possible to be here. I want to create a really great Buddhafield. It is possible. It was not possible before, only now is it possible. Never before was the search so acute, so intense, because never before was man in such an anguish as he is today. The search always comes out of anguish. Whenever there is great anguish, the anguish becomes a challenge, one has to search for something which is so meaningful that the anguish can be dissolved through it. When the darkness is very very deep, only then does one search for light.
And the darkness is really deep. This is one of the darkest of ages: never before has man been in such a disturbed, confused chaos. Because all the old values have disappeared. Man is no more rooted in the past, there are no more any goals in the future, all utopias have failed. Man is utterly desperate now to know what to do and where to go.
In the past it has happened many times that a certain value became valueless, another value took its place, it was substituted. One religion died, another took its place. One idealism was found futile, another better vision, more golden, was immediately available. What has happened this time is that all the ideals have failed and there is no more any substitute. It is not that one value has failed and another has come into being; that is not much of a change. This time, value as such has failed and there is utter darkness, nowhere to go. This is the greatest challenge to human awakening. Hence I say, for the first time in history, the time is right for a great Buddhafield.
I would like thousands of sannyasins to be together here, to create a great energy-field, almost a magnetic force which can become the future, the hope, the destiny of the whole of humanity. So when you can participate in something of such enormous proportions, why be bothered about small things? Just finish things, come. Become part of me and my work.
[A sannyasin returning to the West says she does not like active meditations but has had moments of meditation doing kundalini.]
... Continue Kundalini. And whenever you feel like coming back, come.
My feeling is that you have great ideals of perfectionism in your mind. You will always feel discontent because you will always be comparing: you have some idea of how things should be and they are not, you are falling short.
[She says: Yes, but she likes the idea of risk.]
That’s very good, but that is a totally different thing. Risking is not an ideal. Because of ideals you can never take a risk. Ideals are against risking. Risking means going into the unknown, and having an ideal means you have already a fixed idea of the unknown, of how it should be. You don’t allow the unknown to reveal itself to you. You have certain fixed ideas, and you continuously compare yourself with those ideas; that’s a sure way to remain miserable.
You have to drop those ideas and live life as it comes. Don’t ask too much out of it and it will give you more than you can ever ask. It is a great giver but if you demand it becomes closed. So right now if you are feeling like going you can go; whenever you feel like coming, come back again.
[She says: The ashram is not the inside.]
So let it be so! That’s again a should. Don’t worry about it; why should it be in? Whatsoever is the case is good. Let the ashram be outside you and you be outside the ashram; there is no problem. Why create the problem? There is again the idea that it should be like that. It’s perfectly good: if you are not feeling a part, there is no need to be. Just start accepting the facts as they are. It’s perfectly good! You can come as a visitor; no need to be an insider, you can come as a guest! Or if you don’t feel like coming there is no need either to come.
The problem is the same: you have some decided things in your mind, that things should be like this, and if they are not you feel miserable. My whole approach is to let things be as they are. If you can enjoy, enjoy; if you can’t, there is no need to worry about it – enjoy something else! Accept yourself. You reject yourself.…
[Two gestalt art groups are present. The leader says the first was fun, but the second was heavy and she did not enjoy it. Osho checks her energy.]
Just two or three things to be understood.…
One is: sometimes it happens to every groupleader once in a while, that he loses contact with the group energy. That is very natural; it is difficult to be flowing constantly with the group. Sometimes
your energy is not flowing, you are not in the mood. And it is not only so with groupleaders: no painter can paint every day; sometimes he simply feels stuck. No poet can create poetry every day or on order; sometimes he simply feels paralysed. Nothing comes: he sits for hours and hours and nothing comes. It is as if he has never written any poetry, has never painted anything. No vision arises, no dreams pass through his Mind, not even words. It happens to every creative artist. A groupleader is a creative artist working with human energy. You can’t hope always to be perfect, you can’t be. So sometimes it will happen. It happens to everybody, it is natural.
Next time it happens you have just to sit in the middle of the group. Tell everybody to surround you, let them hold each other’s hands so that the whole of the energy becomes connected. Sit this way (cross-legged) in the middle and just start looking up. Raise your hands, remember me, and if something starts happening to you, allow it to happen. You will get paralysed again, again you will shriek, and with that shriek your energy will start flowing again. You will be moving perfectly smoothly.
So whenever you feel stuck, remember me. And the way to remember is to have the whole group surrounding you holding hands. They can also feel the energy, they can also remember me, then the impact will be even more.
But nothing to be worried about; it is very natural. So next time just remember me and I will do it. Otherwise your group is going beautifully – no problem! Good.
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