CHAPTER 30
30 April 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Deva means God, Viramo means interval, pause, period. God is in the interval, in the pause between two words, two thoughts, two desires, two emotions, two feelings – wherever there is a pause: between sleep and waking or between waking and sleep, in the pause; between body and soul, in the interval. When love turns into hate, the pause when it is no more love, it is not yet hate. When the past turns into future, the pause – when it is no more there and the future has not come yet, that small, small moment, that is present, that is now. It is so small that it can’t be called part of time. It is indivisibly small, it cannot be divided. That pause is indivisible and it comes every moment in a thousand and one ways.
Your moods change from one to another and you pass through them. In twenty-four hours we come across God so many times that it is a miracle how we go on missing Him. But we never look in the pause; we have learned that trick, not to look in the pause. And it is so small that it comes and goes and we never become even aware of it, that it has been there. We become aware of things only when they are no more, when they have become part of the past. Or we remain aware when they are coming and are part of the future, but when they are really there somehow we manage not to see them.
When you are angry, you don’t see it; later on you repent. When it is very imminent and coming, then you feel it and you are disturbed that it is coming again. But when it is there, suddenly you become blind, deaf, unaware, unconscious. And the pause is so small that if you are not absolutely alert you will go on missing it. It is so small; it can be caught only in absolute awareness. When one is totally there, then only will you be able to see. When one thought goes out of existence and another comes into existence, between the two there is an interval of thoughtlessness. That is God.
... I am giving you the whole key. Now you have to start working on your being with this key. Falling asleep, try to see the pause when you are no more awake and the sleep is not yet. There comes a
moment, a very subtle moment, but it doesn’t stay long. It is just like a puff, a breeze: it is there and it is gone. But if you can catch hold of it, you will be surprised: you have stumbled upon the greatest treasure of life.
Jesus talks about it again and again – the Kingdom of God. That is the Kingdom of God that is always available in the pause. And passing through it, even unawares, you are benefited. Something, some of the fragrance of it goes on lingering in your being even if you were not aware. But from this moment become alert. Slowly, slowly, the knack comes.
[The new sannyasin asks: Why is the universe like it is?]
That question is not really a question and cannot be answered. An ultimate question only appears to be a question. The formulation is in the form of a question but it is not a question. Why is it not a question? Because whatsoever the answer given, the same question will again be relevant.
If somebody says ‘God created the universe’, then the question arises: ‘Why did He? Why?’ No answer will answer it; you have to see the trap of it. Any answer will again be turned into a question, so this question will lead into what logicians call ‘regress’. One can go on answering it and the question remains untouched – no answer will be able to destroy it. Whenever you come across a question which can’t be answered, that simply means it is not a question in the first place.
You are making a mystery into a question, and the mystery cannot be reduced to a question, that’s why there is no answer to it. A mystery is unanswerable. You can live it, you can be it but you will never be able to know about it, there is no way to know about it.
And moreover you are part of it, the questioner is part of the question. But when we ask such questions we assume that we are separate.
When you are asking the question ‘Why this universe ?’ you forget one thing – that you are part of it. Making the question gives you the false illusion of your being separate: you are standing there outside existence and asking ‘Why this existence?’ You are not out of it, nobody can be out of it. We are all in it, we are it, so who is to question and who is to answer? Existence includes all. That’s why the true religious person will not answer it. He will say ‘Meditate’. He will say ‘Go deeper into your own self, one day you will know the answer.’ But he is simply giving you a toy – the answer never comes. One day what really happens is that the question disappears. When you see the whole absurdity of the question, the question disappears. And that is the answer.
It used to happen to Buddha’s disciples again and again.…
A new disciple would come and would ask something, something like this.… Because these questions are not new, man has been asking them since time immemorial. In fact we cannot conceive of man when hc was not asking such questions. From the very first moment man must have been asking because existence has been a problem. ‘Why is it there in the first place? Why is it, rather than not being?’
A great philosopher came to Buddha and he asked the question: ‘Why is this existence?’ Buddha said ‘Be here. I promise you that I will answer but for two years sit silently by my side. Just go on sitting silently and after two years you can ask it.’
When he was saying this to the philosopher, another disciple of Buddha’s started laughing, a belly laughter. He was sitting under a tree and he just could not contain himself. The philosopher was puzzled and he asked the man ‘Why did you start laughing? What is so funny about it? I am ready – I will wait for two years. i can wait and I will do whatsoever he says!’
The man says ‘I am not laughing at your question. I am laughing at his trickery. This is the same thing he told me that this is the question I asked. Two years have passed here, he has not answered.’
And Buddha said ‘But I am ready to answer, you have not asked!’ The man said ‘How can I ask now? I see the absurdity of it.’ So he told the philosopher, the disciple told the philosopher, ‘If you want to ask, ask it right now; otherwise after two years, you will be at a loss. He will not answer, because he insists “First you ask”, and you cannot manage to!’
In fact the deeper you move into your consciousness, the more questions start disappearing and a moment comes, a moment of no question, of a non-questioning state of mind. That is the answer! It can’t be given from the outside. But you suddenly know, you know everything... although you cannot utter a single word about what you have come to know. It is a dumb man’s taste of sugar. He knows – the taste is still lingering there on the tongue – but he is dumb and he cannot say anything about it.
I can help you to know the taste of existence and that will be the answer. I have given you the key. To be in the pause is your key; that will lead you more and more deeply into existence. And the closer you come to your own source, the fewer and fewer questions will arise. And a moment comes certainly, and I can see it coming any day, when suddenly all questions disappear. You are there, sitting alone with no questions at all. That moment is the moment of awakening. And that is the answer!
Just be here. Something is imminent – it is going to happen!
[A sannyasin returning to the West says: Last time I was here it was very beautiful but this time it was very hard. In the Samarpan group he was afraid of dying, and now he feels good about it.]
It was good. It is always good to come very close to death. There is only one thing which is better than this, that is to die. But coming closer, closer, one day one becomes interested and takes the plunge. Then the ego disappears and you have arrived home. Death has to be gone through. There is no other way towards life, life arises only through death. And the deeper the death, the higher the life; the greater the death, the greater the life. They balance each other.
People’s lives are small because their deaths are small. They die only in the body, so they live only in the body. If you can die in the mind you will be able to live in the mind; if you can die in the soul you will be able to live in the soul. If you can die totally you will become God. You will have the life of God Himself. Death is the price that we pay for life and there is no other way, no short-cut.
Each time you come it will become more and more difficult, mm? because the closer you come to change and transformation, the harder it becomes. When you come to me for the first time it is almost fun. That is the trap! Then slowly, slowly, you are caught. When you are caught, when I see that now you cannot go back, then the real work starts. I start hurting you from many ways, in many
ways. And those wounds are there – you have carried them down through so many lives – and when they are opened it is painful. And I have to be hard. If I love you I have to be hard.
So each time you come it is going to be harder and harder. Don’t resist and don’t fight, then soon the hardship will disappear. If you can die then all hardship is gone. Then real fun starts, real delight, it is not just an entertainment. Then life has wings and eternity is available for it.
... Next time you stay a little longer – I will make it a little harder and you are getting ready to go deeper!
[A sannyasin describes an experience he had during the night: that he was insane – that he was afraid or just imagining he was afraid – that he was dying or just imagining he was dying. Then everything, all his problems, disappeared. It was so wonderful. Then the reverse procedure happened and he is back where he was before.]
It happens! If sometimes by chance you are very close to satori, the mind immediately starts weaving something and brings you down. It was a really beautiful moment. But everybody misses it for the first time or for a few times, mm? Only then does one become alert about how the mind brings everything back down to the same old pattern.
The real state of consciousness is of not-knowing, it is of innocence. So whenever it happens – that state of not-knowing and innocence – the whole existence becomes available to you. Suddenly everything explodes into jubilation and all is benediction. And there is no problem because there has never been a problem. But the mind is just waiting by the side, very puzzled by your joy, very jealous, trying to figure out what is happening to you and trying to pull you down, back to the old rut and routine. Because the mind remains master when there are problems and anxieties and you are puzzled and this and that and you are distracted by a thousand and one things, and there is always disturbance and chaos. The mind is master when you are in such a state.
When there is all clarity and not a single thought, not a single problem and the whole mystery is available to you – to dance and to sing and to be – the mind simply feels very much at a loss. Its mastery is gone, its power over you is gone; it starts being panicky. It will take any opportunity, any chance to jump into your being and stir your thoughts. And one thought leads to another, it is a chain-process.
This has been one of the greatest problems down the ages for those who have been meditating: when satori happens or is just on the verge of happening, the mind says ‘Is it true satori?’ and that’s enough! ‘Are you just befooling yourself?’ and that’s enough: the whole traffic starts again.
Just a single statement from the mind of ‘Don’t be so happy: it may be just a dream or an hallucination’.…‘It is too good to be true’ the mind says, and immediately you are down the hill, moving back to the dark valleys. One has to be very alert.
Next time when something like this happens, don’t get trapped by the mind. It comes slowly, slowly. One learns by experience and then one can stay more and more in that blissful state. If one can remain in that blissful state for at least forty-eight minutes, then the mind cannot do anything. But up to forty-eight minutes it can; that’s its limit. If one can remain in that blissful state for forty-eight
minutes, then satori becomes samadhi. If it happens only once, for a moment and then the mind comes in, it is satori, a glimpse. Beautiful, immensely beautiful, one is moving in the right direction, but if one can remain happy with no problem, with no question arising for forty-eight minutes, then one has crossed the boundaries of this world. One has entered into the other world. Beyond forty- eight minutes there is no power of the mind. You have gone so far from the mind that it cannot pull you back.
But good! I am happy that something really beautiful happened – it will be coming more and more. Remain in the state of not-knowing and allow the state of not-knowing to take possession of you more and more. It is always available. All that beauty that you saw that morning and all that silence and those songs are always there in the air. It is always spring – it is just that we are closed.
Wait – it will come again, and when it comes dance and sing and enjoy and remain a little more alert. If the mind says ‘Are you mad?’ Say ‘Yes!’ Don’t make it a problem – that’s what I mean by being alert: whatsoever the mind says, say yes. If you say no, conflict starts and the mind starts arguing and you have to counter-argue and meanwhile all is gone. By the time you become alert there is nothing left. Those birds have flown, those songs are no more there, that state of innocence has disappeared, evaporated.
If the mind says ‘You are sane’, say ‘Yes, sir’. If the mind says ‘No, you are not insane. How can you be insane? If you know you are insane, you are sane!’ ‘Yes, sir’. Just go on saying ‘Yes, sir!’ Yes is poisonous to the mind, the mind cannot take it. If you say yes you simply drop the whole matter; then there is no going further. Say no and the mind argues; then you have to argue. That’s the beauty of yes: it simply cuts it then and there, it does not create a chain. No creates a chain. So next time try this medicine called ‘Yes’!
Say ‘Yes!’ joyously... and then there is nothing more to say, because now there is no need to argue with you – you are saying yes yourself. To cut all arguments forever, there is nothing like yes. And it will be coming soon!