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‌CHAPTER 29

29 April 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin had previously written to Osho about getting money from her parents to be financially viable while in the commune. Osho tells her to go back and play the game with them. She says sometimes she is afraid of them.]

No, I will help you. Once you understand that something is a game, it is never heavy. The heaviness comes from your interpretation. If you take it seriously and you think it is for real, then it becomes heavy; otherwise nothing is heavy. If somebody is insulting you and is being angry and you know that this is drama, then you can go on laughing – you know that he doesn’t mean it. But if you think this is real, not drama, then you start becoming disturbed.

This is the whole art of remaining still and tranquil and undisturbed in the world. If you can see that all these are games, suddenly you are in a different space – you have transcended. And the heavier the game, the more enjoyable it becomes, because it has more complexity. Just go with this idea that this is a game. Don’t call it a game, just know it is a game. They are just playing a tape – maybe their parents played the same tape with them. They are repeating it, it is just mechanical. They are not conscious of what they are doing. But now you can be conscious of it, and once you are conscious, you are out of it. That is the beauty of consciousness: it immediately takes you out of the world. You remain in the world and yet you are not there, you have simply transcended. You start sitting on the hilltop and looking from there. Then everything is beautiful, everything is fine.

Once you know that something is a game, great humour arises – seeing the whole ridiculousness of it, of how seriously they are playing. It is really a great drama that goes on around us. This earth is a big stage and all are actors and everybody is putting on an act. Once you can see the act, once you can see that everybody is an actor, you have understood the approach of all those who have ever become awakened. Their approach is that this world is just a dream. Why do they insist that

this is just a dream? It is a device. If you can see that this is a dream, you are out of it, out of it immediately.

So go. And the biggest game is always with the parents because. one is deeply involved in it. From the first day of your conception you became involved in it. You have been a part of your mother, in her womb for nine months and then for years you have been part, on her breast... and your father and your family – you are rooted there! You have grown out of their drama, you are part of their drama, you are part of the script. If you can become aware, then something has happened in you of which they are not aware, which is not part of their script at all: that is sannyas! And then you can watch the whole thing out of the corner of your eye and enjoy it.

Just go with that idea – that you are seeing a film, reading a beautiful novel. Sometimes you may get lost; remember again, and with the remembrance you will be out of it. Slowly, slowly, you will see the point: the more you become aware, the less serious is the game. There will be moments of clarity when it is absolutely clear that this is a game; then there is no seriousness at all. Even if somebody kills you, if you can remember in that moment that this is just a game, you will laugh! Even in death the humour will continue, and to carry the sense of humour even into death is to transcend death too. One has won over death.

I am sending you specifically. This is going to help your growth very much. Go and play the game, act as beautifully as possible and for the first time deliberately become part of the drama. Deliberately, I say, knowingly, and when we do things knowingly, of course we can do them more aesthetically. When we knowingly say something, there is a great difference. You know beforehand what is going to be the reaction because you know those reactions: if you do this, they will do that. Now you can enjoy the whole thing – you can do something which will provoke them into doing something that you want them to do. And once you know the secret it is surprising because you will find that there is no need to be a victim ever! You can always do the thing in such a way that the result always comes out in your favour.

It is so easy to create anger in people and so easy to create love. If you always create anger, nobody else other than yourself is responsible; you have not yet learned how to play it deliberately. Otherwise these are simple things. You know if you do ‘a’ they will do ‘b’. For the whole life this has been happening again and again. The wife knows if she does ‘a’ the husband is going to do ‘b’. It is a settled thing. And the husband knows that if he does ‘a’, the wife will do ‘b’. And he is afraid – the wife should not do ‘b’; he is very worried. But he cannot resist doing ‘a’, that’s the trouble: he will do ‘a’ and ‘b’ will follow.

Once you know that all is a game, seriousness disappears and you can start playing deliberately. Then you can see all that is possible.

They say the best chess player is one who can see five moves ahead. It is very difficult to see five moves ahead: ‘I will do this, then the other party will do that; then I will do this and the other party will do that.’ Five moves is complicated, that’s why chess needs great intelligence. But this is life! Chess is exactly what life is. Chess is all about life.

Just go and play chess! And even if you can think of two moves ahead, that will do, because I am not going to make you a world champion! This will do – for this work, this will do. And enjoy the trip!

If you do it deliberately, you will he back soon. If you consciously play the game, you will be back very soon. And I will be watching. Keep this (a box) with you and come back soon, mm? Remain happy there. And whenever you feel that you are falling into the trap, just remember me, have a good laugh and I will bring you out of it!

[An elderly sannyasin is leaving for the West, and says: I feel like a little child.]

That’s perfectly good! That s perfectly good. That’s how it should be – this is the time to become a child again! Only by becoming a child again does the circle complete and life become fulfil ment. If the moment one dies, one has come to the point where one was when one was born, then one’s life has been lived. If the first moment can become the last moment also, then you are victorious; life has not been in vain.

This is very good – allow it. It will be difficult there but each difficulty is a challenge and has to be accepted. And nothing is more valuable than this, a second childhood. Everything can be sacrificed for it but it can’t be sacrificed for anything else. So just enjoy it, enjoy it unashamedly; don’t be afraid of what people will say. Never be afraid of people’s opinions. That is the greatest bondage in the world. Once you are not afraid of people’s opinions, you are free. That is the subtle bondage: one is continuously considering others.

Gurdjieff used to say ‘Don’t consider!’... and he is right. What others say is their business and their problem, it has nothing to do with you. Just look into your own nature and whatsoever is joyous, go with it. That is your responsibility. You are not answerable to anybody, you are answerable only to God. And God will be happy to accept you back as a child... back as He had sent you here: clean, pure, again innocent.…

Come back soon and then be here forever. Finish things there! Mm? because you will become more and more like a child and it will become more and more difficult there. And here it will be perfectly okay. You can join the school! That will be a really great joy for the kids. I am going to put a few old kids in the school also!

[A sannyasin says she feels both a desire to meet and be with people and an urge to escape them too. Osho checks her energy.]

It is really beautiful. Your desire to meet with people is just your mind playing tricks with your energy to disturb it. And the mind has all the rationalisations with it – that one should go and see people and relate to people; that’s how one should be. The mind is really great in quoting scriptures. But right now your energy is moving towards the inner centre, it is turning introvert. It is going beautifully. It wants to contact the innermost core. Trying to relate with people creates a contradiction: the energy wants to go in and you want to go out. ‘You’ means your mind and you are more identified with the mind than with the energy. Slowly, slowly you will find that the energy is more you than the mind is, because it is a deeper you, the mind is the superficial you. But we are identified with the mind so we always go on listening to the mind.

Don’t listen to the mind. Work and remain in the ashram as much as possible. Even when moving outside, just move with a few people with whom you have really a contact, with intimate people. And that is the definition of intimacy: if you can be alone with somebody, that means you are intimate.

If you have to be with him, constantly coming out, that means you are not intimate with him. Only two intimate persons can sit silently without talking for hours; there is no need to talk. They can be together without relating in any outward way. They can allow each other the freedom to be and to be alone.

You love a person when you can be with him as if you are alone. You need not consider him, consider what he will think. If you consider what he will think then you are not yet in love with the person. You are afraid of the person, his opinion. You are still pretending, you still have a facade. You don’t allow your reality, your spontaneity. You still go on carrying some act, performance; you are not relaxed. So when I say ‘be with intimate people’, I mean people with whom you can be almost alone.

Choose a few people that you really love and like, and that will be helpful. Forget about the world for a few days, completely. Whenever you feel a great hankering to be with somebody, remember me, use that hankering to remember me.

At this stage that will be very helpful.…

Keep this box and whenever you start feeling like relating, you can talk to it... and it answers! Put it on your heart and just be with it. Good.

[A sannyasin says she has been feeling really lonely in the last few weeks, but for the first time is accepting this, like ‘Okay, that’s it.’]

Just okay is never okay. Enjoy it! Don t just say okay, because that is a kind of defeatism. Celebrate it! Aloneness is beautiful because it is the truth. One has to come to it, one has to befriend it. And if you can befriend it joyously it becomes a kind of centering.

All relatedness can happen only afterwards, when one has learned how to be alone. Only a person who knows how to be alone can be loving. All others are just pretending to love; in fact they are just finding somebody to be occupied with. Their relationship is neurotic, it is pathological. It is not relationship at all... because they cannot be with themselves. They have to be with somebody – anybody! They want to be involved with something, they want to do something so that they can avoid their loneliness. This is hot love. They are simply using the other and the other is using them. They are just in a mutual kind of exploitation. How can there be love when there is so much need and so much dependence?

Love is possible only when there is independence, freedom, when one can relate for no other purpose than relating; when relationship is unmotivated there is no exploitation, and one remains alone, even while relating. Only two beautifully alone persons can come together and have a beautiful experience of being together. But the first requirement is that they should be established in their aloneness. If they are not established there, then all their relationship is just avoiding, escaping.

Good, that you have at least said ‘okay’ to it, but that is not enough. Make it a celebration, enjoy it! It is beautiful, it is far more beautiful than any relationship can ever be. It is a relationship with yourself. It is making a circle of yourself. You are the lover and you are the beloved. This is a kind of inner meeting, an inner meeting and communion of the man and woman, of your own polarities. Out of this meeting you will become an individual, an authentic individual. Then everything becomes possible – even the impossible becomes possible. But only afterwards, never before.

So start enjoying it. Feel ecstatic about it. And soon you will see that ecstasy is arising. Ecstasy always arises when one is alone. The people who were running towards the mountains were not all just foolish; they were simply searching for aloneness. Of course they were searching in a wrong way, because aloneness is in, not out there. One can dive into it any moment, anywhere – no need to go to the mountains. So explore this inner Himalaya!

[A sannyasin says she feels a sense of frustration; it always comes each morning on waking.]

Then you must be dreaming a lot of hell. Start dreaming beautiful dreams – create dreams. From tonight start doing one thing: ten times affirm before you go to sleep that you will have beautiful dreams, great ecstatic dreams. At least become enlightened in your dreams – dreams of fairyland, shambala and things like that. Ten times affirm very positively ‘I will have beautiful dreams, nice dreams, sweet dreams. The whole night is going to be a great ecstatic exploration. By the morning I will get up utterly fresh, happy, glad.’ Ten times positively affirm this, then go to sleep. Continue this for at least thirty days and then report, mm? Within thirty days your morning will be changed. Your night has to be changed, the morning is just a result.

[The encounter group is present. One participant says he had intended going to the West to collect his money and return here for ever. However his money has been lost in a business venture, and the rest his wife has taken and says she does not want to see him again. He does not have any qualifications to work.]

So the world has renounced you? – that’s good!...

Qualification is not the point at all, mm? Unqualified people are required here more because they can do many things. Qualified people become experts, they can do only one thing. And qualified people become unintelligent also, because when you are unqualified you have to be smart. When you are qualified, there is no need to be smart at all.

So nothing to be worried about. That’s a good qualification; you can do many things, that’s good.… If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Start doing something here!

[Another group participant has a medical problem with both ears and asks if Osho will look at the energy around his head. Osho checks his energy.]

It has nothing to do with the energy really. Just because your ears are not functioning well, there is a disturbance. The energy is there but it cannot flow because of the gap in the ears.

Energy follows the sound route. Deep down energy is sound – hence the chanting, mantras, in all the religions. If you can chant a certain mantra energy starts taking a certain form. If you chant a certain mantra, energy takes a certain pattern. The mantra creates an energy-field. But when ears are in a bad shape, the energy cannot flow as easily as it should. That’s why [the group leader] felt that some disturbance is there.

But nothing to be worried about. It can’t affect your spiritual growth. It can affect your psychic growth but we are not interested in psychic growth at all.

For example, if you want to become a psychic – telepathic, clairvoyant – it will be difficult, your energy won’t help you that way. But that is all nonsense. Even if one becomes telepathic, so what? Even if you start reading other people’s thoughts, it is of no use. Anyway, they are telling you their thoughts themselves. There is no need and it is all rubbish. The real thing is how to drop your thoughts, not how to read others’! So psychically it can become a disturbance but we are not interested in psychic phenomena at all, not at all. So you need not be worried.

But you should take care of the ears. I think the other will need an operation. What do the doctors say?

[He answers: He says he would like to operate on it.]

Yes, it has to be operated on, mm? otherwise soon you will not be able to hear at all. It is really blocked. The energy is not there at all, there is a division. Some energy is on the top and the body has energy but there is a gap. So the operation has to be done.

But it is not going to affect your spiritual growth at all. In fact, in a way it is good because you cannot be distracted by any psychic power. Patanjali has written a whole chapter in his Yoga Sutras: ‘What has to be avoided.’ You need not read that chapter because it will not happen to you at all. You can read only three chapters, the fourth you can drop!...

Everything is perfectly good – just forget about it.

[Another group participant, who had previously been in the Gurdjieff movement, says that Osho had told him to stop struggling and enjoy surrendering. He doesn’t feel this was relevant to him, because he was no conscious of struggling in the Gurdjieff sense of the word.]

No, you were not conscious but your unconscious was full of struggle. You may not have struggled consciously but that has been your characteristic. Maybe it was in past lives but it has been there. And you have struggled enough. That’s why I said now drop it, there is no need.

And the work that goes on here – hard work, people are being put into deep struggle and conflict, anger and rage – is just a device to bring to their understanding that struggle cannot deliver the ultimate goods to you. It can help immensely but at the last ladder it has to be dropped. The ultimate jump happens always with surrender. To a few people it can happen on the first step, to a few people it will happen on the last. It depends on the types, what types they have gathered in their past lives, what kinds of energy patterns they have evolved.

You have struggled; that’s why you became interested in Gurdjieff work. There is a deep attraction towards struggle in you; otherwise you would not have become interested in Gurdjieff work at all. It was an unconscious drive.

People don’t become interested in anything without any cause. There is some reason. I told you only so that you would remain alert about it, that sooner or later struggle has to be dropped. And here you will have to be alert about it, because all kinds of works will go on here. All kinds of people are going to come – they are here – and one becomes curious: what is happening to this person, what is being done to that person? Sometimes one becomes too intrigued by some phenomenon

that is happening. One becomes interested, one wants to go into it, but you have to keep in mind that your path is of surrender.

Soon we will create groups for surrender too. I am just waiting: when people become really tired of struggle then only can groups for surrender be given to them.

Many many things have to be introduced in the new commune and then the work will take on a wholeness. But it will become complex also and people will become distracted. If you see somebody struggling and greatly elated and you have been told to surrender and relax, naturally the desire arises to ask: ‘What am I doing? Other people are becoming so ecstatic through struggle.’ And the person who has been told to struggle may become interested in people who are just relaxing and doing nothing. But everybody has to follow whatsoever is given to him as the key. So before the new commune, if you want to struggle more you can here, but in the commune you have to be completely relaxed, so finish it, mm? If you want to do a few more groups you can!

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