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‌CHAPTER 22

22 April 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says his wife, who was a sannyasin, is with a master they knew before, and he feels to join her. He has many doubts which he wants to expose... ]

Nothing to be worried about. It is always good to be exposed to doubts. It strengthens you, it becomes a challenge. And if you trust because you are not exposed to doubts, that trust is not of much value. Trust has to exist amidst doubts, in doubts. Trust has to be an island in the ocean of doubts; then it has beauty, life, strength.

Never be afraid of exposure. Doubt is not against trust. In fact it is in a search for trust, it is a groping for trust. Use doubt too! And that is always my approach: use whatsoever happens in life. Don’t think of blocks, always think of stepping stones. So go and be exposed, and there is no problem, no problem at all.

Hari is a name of God, it means God, priya means beloved – God’s beloved. Sannyas is initiation into a great love affair with God. It is a strange love affair because the other is invisible. But if one can love intensely, that very intensity makes the other slowly, slowly visible. The other is unnamed, unaddressed – we don’t know where to look for it. But if we love immensely, that very love starts opening doors to the divine.

A great thirst is needed, fiery, and when one becomes aflame with the desire for God, then no power can prevent one. Then one can go anywhere – beyond the mountains and beyond the oceans and beyond the stars. The deeper the urge to find penetrates you, the closer you are, and when the urge becomes absolute, you have arrived. The thirst becoming absolute is the beginning of contentment. So think of yourself from this moment as God’s beloved... we all are.

The Bible says ‘God loved the world so much that He sent His only son to the world’.God is still in

love, otherwise the world would stop immediately; it continues because of His love. Otherwise there

is no reason for it to continue at all. We may not be aware of it but we live through His love, we live only because of His love. He goes on pouring energy into us. The moment one starts becoming aware of this phenomenon, great gratitude arises. That very gratitude becomes the temple.

Deva means God, Shamo means at the feet of – at the feet of God. It means surrender, utter surrender. That is the bridge. Man cannot attain to God by his own efforts. They are very tiny, their reach is very limited. Man can attain to God only through God’s grace, but the grace is available only to those who are surrendered, who feel utterly helpless, like small children. Their whole effort consists only of tears. They can cry. That crying is prayer. Those tears are their call for God.

And to feel that one is absolutely helpless is to be available to God, because only then does His help become possible. While you go on doing on your own, His help is not needed. Even if the help comes, it will not be accepted, the ego won’t like it at all. When you wait in helplessness, only then can you accept the hell. Man on his own is impotent and because of this impotence and the idea that he can do everything, there is a dilemma, the predicament of the human mind. It is impotent but thinks itself omnipotent; that is the predicament. The reach is so tiny but it thinks it can have stars in the hands. The mind is so small but believes it can comprehend all. This is the way of the ego, the way of will – that man can do something on his own.

For you the path of love, the path of trust and surrender will be helpful. Forget all about will and forget all about doing. Get more and more into non-doing and into a silent prayer which consists only of tears, feelings. Words are too crude to express those deep emotions. So forget words, forget actions. Relax into a kind of non-being, become a small child and grope for His feet – they are not far away. If one gropes, one finds.

[A sannyasin says: When people say something positive about me it’s really hard to believe them but when people say something negative about me at once I feel that they are right.

Now going back to the West I expect a lot of negativity to be directed towards me and so I’m afraid that I will close again and go back into old habits]

Just change the old pattern: when people say anything positive, believe it. Howsoever extravagant, exaggerated, believe it! And when people say anything negative, just laugh at it. Just change the whole pattern, because your pattern is wrong. Always believe the positive because it will help. It will make you more open, it will be more exhilarating to your life energies. But this is what everybody is doing. It is nothing special, everybody is doing that: when somebody says something negative you immediately accept it. Even if on the surface you deny it, deep down you accept it. And when somebody says something positive, even if on the surface you smile and say ‘Thank you’ – deep down you reject it. The reason is that nobody loves himself. So when somebody says something negative it fits with your idea of yourself When somebody says something positive it doesn’t fit with your image of yourself. You have been taught to hate yourself so the negative fits and the positive simply looks absurd. But this is a suicidal pattern. People are caught up in this.

If somebody says ‘You are beautiful’ your mind doesn’t believe it because from the very childhood everybody has been telling you ‘Become this, be that, otherwise you will be left behind – nobody will take care of you.’ You have listened to all those things, you have believed in them and you have been trying to improve upon yourself. Still you know that the goal is far away – you are not yet beautiful.

In your deepest mind you don’t think that you are beautiful. You think you are horrible, you think you are ugly, you think this, you think that. So when somebody says that you are beautiful how can you believe it? It doesn’t fit, it simply goes against your whole structure; you reject it. But when somebody says that you are horrible it simply goes into your structure, becomes part of it.

This is the psychology of suicide, this is not the psychology of life. Everybody is caught up in it and everybody can get out of it. Just change the pattern: start believing in the positive. I say that you are beautiful, I say that you are unique. And when I say that, I am not just saying it, I mean it! Because nobody can be ugly. We all come from God. Our source is such that we can’t be ugly. Nobody is a sinner because we come from God. Yes, sometimes we commit mistakes, errors, but they are just errors – on the surface, superficial; you remain untouched by them.

Believe the positive and when somebody says something negative, just remember that he must be talking about some act, not about you. That is exactly what is happening: somebody says you are a thief. He is not really saying that you are a thief – he is simply talking about some act in which he thinks you have been a thief, about a single act in which he thinks you have been a thief. And just because of one single act he condemns your whole life as a thief; that is exaggeration. No man becomes a thief just by committing theft once. In fact one can steal ten thousand times and still one is not a thief. Because one can stop stealing immediately. That possibility is always available. After ten thousand stealings one can simply become a saint, so one is not a thief What you do does not define you. Somebody says you are a liar because he has caught you once red-handed when you were lying. But just one act can’t designate you.

Our innermost core is always positive so we can transcend all our acts. Just shift your consciousness from the negative to the positive, and you will be surprised: life starts taking on a new colour, a new joy, and becomes a great adventure. Then people are no more enemies. If somebody says something negative, you laugh and forget about it. If somebody says something positive, you feed on it, you are nourished by it. Then people start turning into friends because you remember only the friends and you forget the enemies. Right now you remember the enemies and you forget your friends.

That’s what happens: if you can’t believe the positive that is going to happen.

Just look into people’s memories: they remember all that has been bad, they remember all that has happened to them which was not good, they remember all the insults that have been done to them and they have forgotten all the compliments. Who remembers compliments? People think compliments are just formal and that insults are very true. If you look back into your past, you can go back to the very childhood and you will remember that somebody laughed at you, somebody called you stupid. Those memories are still alive, those wounds are there. But so many times so many people said good things to you. They have simply slipped out of the memory. People collect thorns and forget the flowers.

Just go – don’t be afraid but start from this moment: go on feeding, nourishing yourself on whatsoever good is happening. And never interpret anything wrongly. If somebody laughs at you, don’t think that he is insulting you. He may be just interested, curious. He may think your orange funny; it is not that he is insulting you. This may be a sign of his being attracted towards you. If he asks some questions, don’t feel offended. He is just curious, wondering what has happened to you.

If he says something negative, remember: he is simply defending himself. If he says ‘You have gone mad,’ he is simply saying ‘I cannot do this.’ That’s all he is saying: ‘Doing this will be almost like going mad to me.’ He is not calling you mad. Deep down he is saying ‘This is too much – I cannot go so far, I cannot do this, I cannot move in orange.’ But think about it, meditate on it: in fact, he has started thinking of orange. He wants to become a sannyasin and the fear has arisen in him. To protect himself against this possibility he calls you mad. He is not saying anything in particular about you. Just look into his psychology and you will be surprised. Have you heard the famous joke?

Two psychologists met on the road and one said to the other ‘Hello!’ The other said to himself...’I wonder what he means?’ Just look into the meaning. Even with ‘hello’ there must be some meaning hidden inside that has some concern with himself. Because people are enclosed in themselves. They are encapsulated, they live in their capsules. What they say is not necessarily what they mean. What they mean is not necessarily what they say. Just look into their meaning and you will be surprised. When somebody starts laughing at you and calling you mad that simply shows that he has become shaken by your presence. Take interest in him – he is a potential sannyasin! Don’t feel offended. Make friends with him, and you will be surprised.

[A sannyasin says she’s feeling self-conscious. Osho checks her energy.]

It is there. Drop the self and just be conscious! Self-consciousness is not good but consciousness is very very good; that’s where you have got mixed up and confused. But it happens to everybody: when one tries to become conscious, one becomes self-conscious, because the self is so cunning that it tries to ride on everything. If you are searching for money, it rides on that. If you are searching for power, it rides on that. If you are meditating, it becomes a great meditator. If you are becoming more and more aware and conscious, it says ‘Okay, I am coming with you. Why not be self-conscious?’ These are the subtle, cunning ways of the ego, of the self, but it can be dropped. Consciousness is there and self is there. Let there be consciousness – drop the self. Become very relaxed.…

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