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‌CHAPTER 12

12 April 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Anand means blissful, Kali is a name of the mother goddess. The name is very significant. It comes from the root ‘kal’; kal means time, and ali means one who eats time, who destroys time. And that is the whole process of meditation: to go beyond time, to go beyond the past, the present, the future... not to exist in time but beyond time.

Time is equivalent to the mind; it is the mind that creates time. If you are thinking in terms of memories, the past is created; otherwise the past does not exist. If you are thinking in terms of dreams, the future is created; otherwise the future does not exist. And if you are not thinking in terms of memories and desires, then all thinking stops and there is no time. All is silent and there is no movement. Then the moment is eternal. That moment is called now. Now is not part of time. Now is continuous, it is always.

So the name is of tremendous importanCe. Kali means the time-eater, the mind-eater, the world- eater. She is represented as the very personification of destruction, death, annihilation. But out of that death a new life arises, the life of eternity. So if you see the statue or picture of Kali, remember: the picture simply represents death – death to all that we know. Hence she has a garland of skulls and in one hand, a freshly cut head... the blood is still dripping.

She looks ferocious! But there is a beautiful meaning hidden in it: time-eater, mind-eater. All that we know has to be dropped to know that which is.…

[The new sannyasin says: Something changed for me in the Intensive. I came in with fists up... and left laughing.]

Very good! Something has changed and something more will go on changing. A process has started. But you are going too early. If you could have stayed a little longer, one or two groups would

have been a little helpful. You would have got deeper into the new feeling, it would have become stronger.

Sat means truth, dharma means law – the true law, tao. And the true law is not in the scriptures. It can’t be there because it is very illusive and cannot be comprehended through words. It is vast and cannot be contained in words. So scriptures only indicate it. No doctrine has ever been able to explain it. All explanations basically explain it away. Because they cannot explain, they start explaining it away. People have denied God, not because they know that He is not, but just to hide their impotence.

Tao is equivalent to God. God is not a person but the fundamental law of life. That, in the East, we call ‘dharma’. It is the fundamental of the universe and it is the fundamental of your being too. There is no need to go anywhere to search for it. All that is needed is to connect with your own centre again. To come in contact with one’s centre is to come in contact with the universal centre.

Hence meditation is an inward search. God is found not outside but inside, God is the inside of things. You also have an inside, and the only way to know about the inside is to know from the inside.

[A sannyasin, who is leaving, says: I’ve always been saying no all my life. I’d like to start saying yes.]

Start! Don’t just like to; just start. Close your eyes and say yes. Repeat it as a mantra for a few times. Say yes. Get deep into it. Even if it comes loud, allow it.…

Very good! You did say it! It will be coming more and more.

No is futile. Saying no is suicidal. It is poisonous. It kills you; it kills your opportunities to be joyful, it kills the occasions to be close to God. It cuts your roots, it uproots you from the earth, from life, from existence. No is poison; yes is elixir. It is through yes that one becomes divine, it is through yes that one comes to know immortality, it is through yes that death can be defeated. Death is no. Life is yes, and when the yes is total, life is total.

It will be coming more and more.…

[A sannyasin, returning to the West, says he’s been feeling depressed and tired since he had hepatitis a month ago. Osho checks his energy.

Osho tells him that the tiredness will be gone now. Almost always after hepatitis, this happens, you tell him: the energy channels don’t function well. But nothing to be worried about.]

[A sannyasin, returning to the West, had written to ask if he could lead groups.]

I think you can lead groups. Just one thing is against you – that you were feeling very bored with the groups. Is that true?

[He answers he was bored in two groups: Relaxation and Let-go.]

Because that is the only problem you will have to see to. Running a group means not getting bored; one has to be capable of not getting bored easily. Because the same thing will be coming again and again. There are not very inventive people in the world, they bring the same problem. They are not very creative people in the world – the same misery, the same anger, the same violence, the same sex. It is very rare to come across a person who brings some new problem; it is constant repetition.

If you get bored with people you will not be able to work on them because the moment you are bored, you are disconnected. You have to remain constantly alive, intrigued by the mystery of the person. The problems are the same, the people are like each other and the process to help is the same. The structure of the group is going to be the same again and again. After a few groups... In the beginning you will enjoy it because it will be a new experience and very ego-fulfilling too, that you are now leading the groups: so many people are looking up to you and you are the leader. But after four, five groups, you will again feel bored, flat. The same thing has to happen again and again and again.

That tendency you have to drop, then only can you become a good groupleader. You have the capacity – that I can see. The only thing not in your favour is: you get easily bored. And this is a very boring phenomenon. Because of this phenomenon, Sigmund Freud had to invent the couch. Listening to mad people, all kinds of neurotics, how long can you listen and remain interested? He invented the couch so the patient had to lie down on the couch and look at the roof. He would not be looking at Freud, who would be sitting at the back so he could get bored or whatsoever he wanted. He didn’t even need to listen – he could close his eyes and go into dreams and the patient would go on talking to the roof It is a very impersonal phenomenon. Freud was not courageous enough to look into the eyes of the patient. He was a coward, the couch was just an invention to hide his cowardice.

To encounter a person needs courage. And not to get bored needs great reverence for people, great trust and the creative capacity to see something new in the old, ordinary problem, to see something new in the ordinary Tom, Harry, Dick... That you have to understand – only then step into it. And I can see, you can work well, but this will be the barrier. If you can drop this then go into it, go happily into it. It will be fulfilling. I want you to be aware of this, otherwise this will be your fall: soon you will get bored.

The real test of a groupleader comes only when he has done many groups and is not bored and in each group he is again in a kind of honeymoon. Only then can he work. Because people feel connected when you are interested, when you are involved – you are not just sitting there like an expert, just giving instructions, having a ready-made answer, not listening to the question at all. You are simply waiting for the foolish man to stop so you can give the answer. The answer is already there. Then you can’t be a groupleader. It is better to become a traditional psychoanalyst.

Groupleading is a totally different phenomenon. It is utterly different from psychoanalysis. It is personal, intimate. It is getting deep into the person who is confronting you, getting involved in his problem, making his problems your problems. Only then can one help. In that intimacy help arises. In that love, compassion, reverence, there is healing, therapy. Therapy is a function of love. A bored person cannot be a loving person.

So I know that there are so many groupleaders but only a few are real. And those are the ones who don’t get bored, who are thrilled by every new group, who wait for it, who just dream about it. And

when a group is finished they don’t feel relieved and say ‘Now this nonsense is finished sol can rest.’ They are of immense help .

People who get bored, who get bored easily, have no creative capacity. And therapy needs more creative capacity than painting or poetry or music. Because in music you are playing on an instrument: you can throw the instrument and it is not going to retaliate. You can pick it up again and it will be perfectly okay, as it was before. It is a dead thing. If you don’t look at the instrument for years, it is not going to feel offended. In poetry you are alone; so is the case with painting.

But when you are working in a therapy group you are working with human beings, with alive phenomena. The other is there. You are playing on an instrument which is alive and conscious. You have to be very delicate, subtle, indirect.

Just watch that and if you can drop it you will be able to become a good groupleader. Try!

[A sannyasin, newly arrived, says that she’s been in beautiful spaces lately but then met someone and, though she tried to stop herself, fell in love with him.]

There is no need to stop. Even sometimes if there is fear, one has to go into it; it is worth going into. Never look at the negative, always look at the positive. If there is love, then don’t be worried about the fear – it is just a shadow.

Don’t destroy love because of fear. Take the risk: go into it. And whenever there is something like total love happening, great fear arises because you are taken off your ground. But go into it – that’s my teaching, mm? All my sannyasins have to learn how to live totally and dangerously.

[She has done many groups in the West but wants to do some here because two things are not allowed in the West – that’s violence and sex. I’m especially afraid of violence... the authorities won’t allow it.]

They won’t allow it? Then the groups will remain impotent, they can’t go deep; because everywhere deep down you go, it is either violence or sex. If you avoid these two, you avoid the base. Then you can only swim on the surface, you cannot dive deep. Because wherever you dive deep these are the two problems, and deep down both are one problem.

Unfulfilled sex is violence, repressed sex is violence. So if you really go to the root, sex comes up. Sex is the seed. That’s why in the army people are not allowed to have sex; otherwise they will not be violent enough. Down through the ages they have not been allowed sex, mm? – they become so angry with energy, in rage, but they don’t have any outlet so they start killing. If people are sexually satisfied, violence will disappear from the world.

But all the authorities all the world over have always been afraid of going that deep. Because it is not only a question of violence, much more is involved. If your sex problems are really solved, the whole society will go through a revolution. It depends on those problems. For example, if sex problems are solved the whole psychoanalysis will disappear and with it the psychoanalysts and the profession... and it is really a paying profession. No other Jew has been able to find such a beautiful. profession as Sigmund Freud. He created the greatest company. Now if sexual problems are solved then all

kinds of neurosis, psychosis, schizophrenia, disappear. It is not accidental that psychoanalysts were dead against Wilhelm Reich. They had to be. They were fighting for their survival. If that man was right and was heard then he would have destroyed the whole business. If sex problems are solved people won’t be interested in war. Nations will have to disappear from the earth. Nations exist on violence.

So it is a really great problem. The authorities can allow superficial things: you can talk and you can encounter and do marathons and everything – but you cannot touch the real problem. Because the real problem has so much investment in it. The priest has his investment in it: if people are really sexually satisfied, they will not go to the church. For what? They will not go to the priest, they will not confess. They will have nothing to confess because they will not be guilty. They will not look up to political buffoons as leaders, they will not look up to anybody. They will be their own beings, they will do their own thing. They will know what is needed and what is their need. They will not ask anybody to dictate. This whole society can go through a revolution.

My own understanding is this: if Tantra becomes spread all over the world we can change the whole pattern of society, politics, economics. Without that nothing can be changed – there is no other revolution. But then we have so many enemies, because it is not a question of one person, everybody will be against. Everybody is against me in this country... everybody is against me. It is natural, I understand. I am hurting their business, I am destroying the very foundation of their society, their culture, their so-called civilisation, their religion, their politics. It is natural that they will be against. But one has to go deep into those problems.

[A sannyasin says that during the meditation camp she re-experienced the same fear she had during a nervous breakdown five years ago, which turned to madness. She became terrified of going mad again.]

No, you will not be able to go – nothing to worry about. But you will have to cross that point. Mm, this is something deeper than any madness can go. Once you have crossed that point...

I can understand what is happening. Madness also passes from a line in your being from where meditation also passes. Anybody who has been mad once will come across this point. It is an absolute necessity, inevitable, because when the meditation starts going deep there will be a moment when one feels it is almost like madness; now you are getting into it again. One will become afraid and will run back. But that is just a crossroad where two things meet.

Once you have crossed it you will find a new world entering – a world which is not of madness but of real sanity. Before that you were mad, everybody is mad. After that you will never be mad again. Once you have known that there is something of immense health beyond this point, then you will never be able... even if you want to become mad, you can’t become mad. You have yet to cross it. Don’t be afraid! You can cross it any day.

And I am there – just hold the locket and go into it and continue the meditation. One day, when you have crossed it and still you find you are sane, finished, that fear is gone. That day you will become very very fearless.

[Osho suggests the Anatta group will be helpful.]

It will be good if you stay a little longer. It is better to pass through that madness while you are here, mm? – otherwise far away from me you will not be able to take that risk – here you can take all kinds of risks.…

I will give you a push. You will almost feel me pushing you from the back!

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