Chapter title: None

‌Chapter title: None‌

9 September 1980 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 8009095 ShortTitle: ICEBRG09 Audio:

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[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been scanned and cleaned up. It is for reference purposes only.]

Meditation is a way of disappearing into the whole. It is just as a dewdrop disappears into the ocean. It loses something: its boundary, its limitation, its bondage, its smallness. It gains immensely; it becomes unbounded, it becomes oceanic, it becomes the whole. So the loss is not really a loss, it is a gain.

Meditation means the loss of the ego -- that is one side of the coin. The other side is the gain of the whole.

Marina means the sea, the ocean, the oceanic. Meditation leads you towards the oceanic, from smallness to vastness, from the bounded body-mind structure to the unbounded consciousness, from the finite to the infinite, from time to eternity, from birth and death to eternal life. The only requirement is to drop the notion of the ego. And it is not difficult for the intelligent person to do. It is difficult only for the stupid -- but then for them everything is difficult.

The more intelligent one is, the more easily he can drop the idea, because he can see that it is an absolutely wrong notion, We cannot be separate, we cannot exist even for a single moment in separation. If the breath does not go in we are gone. We are continuously exchanging... Breathing means the bridge between us and the whole. The breath is something like roots in the whole: you pull the tree out

of the earth and it starts dying, it loses its roots -- they were its nourishment. Stop breathing and one dies. Breathing is a subtle way of our being rooted in the whole.

The very word "breath" means life, because without the breath there is no life. That is the only indication whether a man is alive or not. If he is breathing he is alive, if he is not breathing he is dead. But because the breath is not visible we don't take any account of it, otherwise we are continuously taking something from god each moment.

We have to eat -- that comes from the whole. We have to drink. They are not as important as breathing but still they are very important. A person can live without food for three months at the most because if the body is healthy enough it accumulates enough fat inside. That is our energy reserved for some emergency.

A woman is more capable of accumulating fat than a man, because when she is pregnant she may not be able to eat much, hence nature has provided her with more facilities to accumulate fat so that in these nine months even if she eats very little she can survive.

A healthy person can survive for three months without food but then he has to die. Without water maybe one can survive for a few days, but without breathing, not even a few minutes. And these are all our connections with the whole. Even if we go on giving him every physical nourishment, a child cannot survive without love.

They have experimented: if a child is given food, air and everything, but nobody hugs the child, nobody loves the child, no warmth is shown towards the child, he starts shrinking. He starts feeling deep down in 1/08/07

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his guts that he is not needed; he starts dying. Without the love something is missing, something which does not seem to be at all visible.

The physical sciences cannot say what is missing because love cannot be measured, experimented with, but now psychologists are perfectly aware that without love the child dies. He loses hope, he starts getting in despair. And he is very delicate; he needs somebody to hug him and hold him, somebody to give him hope that life is worth living, that he is of some worth, that somebody cares, that somebody will miss him.

Then a longing to remain here arises, otherwise children die. Every physical need may be fulfilled, but something far more important, some psychological need, is not fulfilled.

So if we look into life we can be very easily aware that ego is a false idea. and the moment you drop the ego all barriers are dropped; you rush into the ocean, you become one with the ocean. That experience is the ultimate experience of ecstasy, of freedom. That is the goal of sannyas.

Philosophy will give you many hypotheses, ideas; they are beautiful ideas, but mere ideas. You will never arrive at any conclusion. Philosophy is inconclusive; one goes on and on thinking and one can go on endlessly thinking. But thinking has nothing to do with truth.

Truth is an experience, it is not speculation. Thinking is good as far as science is concerned, it can help.

Through thinking one can find ways to know about matter because matter is an outside thing. But truth is something within your very being. It is not objective, it is your very subjectivity. You cannot see it with the physical eyes, you cannot touch it with your physical hands and you cannot know it with your physical brain.

Science remains confined to the physical -- philosophy also. Science experiments, philosophy only speculates; it goes on making castles in the air. But no philosopher has ever arrived, has found truth, has become a realised person. It is a path that goes on and on but it leads nowhere.

Tolstoy continuously, repeatedly used to have a dream and he became very much tortured by the dream because it was there almost every night. It was a nightmare, but in a way very philosophical.

In his dream he would see a desert, an unending desert and two feet -- just two

feet with shoes on; there was nobody above the feet. There were just two feet with shoes on going on and on, leaving footprints in the sand. They would go on and on and they would never reach anywhere because the desert was unending.

Tolstoy would always wake up tired, exhausted, perspiring. He became haunted by the dream, but he could not figure out what it meant. It was really a message from the deepest sources of his being that whatsoever he was doing was exactly like that dream. That's what he was doing; he remained a philosopher.

He has written beautiful novels, very philosophical, of great importance as literature, but of no importance as far as experience is concerned. He lived a very tortured life, continuously in anguish, many times contemplating committing suicide. Every philosopher sometimes contemplates committing suicide because whole effort goes on disappearing and nothing comes out of it; his being remains empty.

So one can go through thinking but then one is following a mirage, one is rushing to touch the horizon --

which exists not, which is only an appearance. As you move forward the horizon also moves forward; the distance between you and horizon always remains the same. That is the world of the philosopher. It is a fool's world. Philosophy is really fool-osophy.

If one wants to know the truth then one has to get out of the mind and move into silence -- not thinking but silence. And that is available in everybody's being. We just have to shift from mind to no-mind, from thinking to awareness, and immediately the gestalt changes and you start experiencing from the very beginning.

The beginning is already the end because the beginning contains the end like the seed contains the flowers. The first step is also the last step because it contains the last step in it. Once you are out of mind, just a witness, a silent watcher, truth is not far away because this watching in itself is truth, this witnessing itself is truth, this consciousness itself is truth.

The seeker and the sought are not two different things, the sought is hidden in the seeker.

God is not anybody's real longing. People seek and search for god because they

have been told that unless you find god you will not find bliss. Otherwise there is no natural desire in man to search for god, the natural desire is to search for bliss, hence bliss is really our goal. And if you can find bliss, god is found, because bliss is the most divine experience in life. It is the only proof that life is not meaningless. And to know that life is meaningful is to know god.

The moment you are delighted, just for the sheer act of being, joyous moment to moment, celebrating, 1/08/07

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your existence becomes godly, God is not some person that someday you are to have an interview with, god is only a quality of your own growth. It is your own flowering.

Because of the word "god" the world is divided between the atheists and the theists, because that word does not appeal to many people. It does not ring any bells in their hearts. In fact even the people who think themselves theists and religious are not really interested in god. Their whole life proves that they are not interested in god. Even if they pray, they pray for something else; they pray out of fear or out of greed.

Just the other day I was reading a story: a man jumped out of a plane because the plane had lost all control; the engines had gone berserk and the pilot had announced that now there was no way except take parachutes and jump. But the man's parachute did not open. He was an atheist, but when you are in the middle of the sky and it is just a question of seconds and you will be finished, who cares about theism and atheism? He thought "Maybe god can help me," He started crying for god, saying, "Please help me! Please help me! Forgive me! I will never be an atheist again! I will worship you and pray forever and forever."

He was brought up in a Christian world. Although he never believed in god, he was brought up by a Christian family, so he was calling to the Christian god, naturally. Nothing happened, nobody appeared, no hand, nothing. So he thought, "Maybe I should try Allah." So he tried Allah; he shouted, "Allah, save me!"

and suddenly a hand came out of the clouds and saved him and put him on the earth completely safe.

But he was brought up by Christians, The moment he was put on the earth he said, "Thank god." The same hand appeared again and crushed him! (much laughter) People are in fear. Out of fear they become Christians, Mohammedans, Hindus... or out of greed, but nobody is really interested in god. And I don't see that anything is wrong in it. In fact humanity will remain divided if we don't drop this idea of god.

Now almost half the world is communist, they don't believe in god, and the people who believe in god their belief is also just a belief. It is very rare to find a religious person.

If we start thinking in terms of bliss this division can disappear. Whether one is a Russian or a Chinese or American or Italian or Indian does not matter; bliss is everybody's heart's longing. The whole of humanity can become one if bliss is the goal. Nobody can say "I have not desire for bliss."

And my own experience is that the moment you have found bliss you have found god too. In the past you have been told just the opposite; find god and you will be blissful. I say to you, find bliss and you will be godly. Here he whole search is for bliss.

Of course I know the moment you arc overflowing with bliss suddenly you become aware of a new quality in your life, a new fragrance, a new light. And for that light, for that fragrance, for that new phenomenon, "god" is a beautiful word. But it (words missing...) Bliss is more fundamental, more essential; we can forget all about god. Put your whole energy into being blissful and god will come seeking you, There is no need to go after him.

The experience of bliss will give you for the first time, a beauty that is indestructible. Not only that, it will give you for the first time, an insight into the very phenomenon of beauty. Not only does it make you beautiful, it suddenly transforms the whole world. The whole world becomes beautiful because the world reflects you, it is a mirror.

If you are carrying ugly things inside you those ugly things are bound to be reflected. From the trees, from the mountains, from the rivers, you cannot get more than that which you put in. And you don't have anything beautiful to put in.

That's why people live such monotonous, bored lives.

There may be a beautiful sunset and they go on not looking at it at all, the birds may be singing but they are deaf, the stars may be dancing but they are blind because they have no insight into beauty. It is only an empty word that they have heard. And whatsoever they think is beauty has nothing to do with beauty. It has much more to do with their biology, their chemistry, their physiology, their hormones.

A man finds a woman beautiful and the same man does not find any beauty in the sunset, in the stars, in the flowers. I cannot trust this man's understanding of beauty. It may be just pure instinct, a sexual urge, that makes him hallucinate . Once that urge is gone the same woman becomes ordinary, the same woman is no more beautiful.

If a person is sexually starved then even an ugly woman may look beautiful. The more starved you are, the more beautiful she will look. Once your sexual urge is gone, suddenly you will become aware of how ugly she is.

And the same is true about the man. A woman finds a man beautiful -- it is not a real sense of beauty, because when you have a real sense of beauty it is not a question of man and woman at all; then you will 1/08/07

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find it everywhere. You will find it in the rock, in the texture of the rock, in the perfume of the flower, in the freedom of a cloud, a bird on the wing. You will be enchanted. Your breath will stop, your mind will stop; you will be moved, thrilled.

Of course then your experience of the beauty in a man or a woman has a totally different significance; then It is no more just chemistry, then it is poetry, But to know what real beauty is one has to go into deep silence, one has to become more and more alert, watchful, silent.

As the mind disappears you are transformed. All that is ugly in you drops, by

and by you are purified in your heart. You start feeling yourself not as a body but as consciousness, not as a mind but as consciousness. Then there is beauty. You have grace and the whole world suddenly becomes graceful.

To me this is the religious experience, the pinnacle of religious experience, and out of this experience is all creativity. Without this experience one can compose a song but one cannot create a song. One can compose music but one cannot create music. One can paint a picture if he knows how to paint -- it will be a technical thing- but one cannot create a painting It is only profound silence that gives you the experience of beauty and a deep longing to share that experience with others, which become creativity.

My sannyasins have to be creators. I don't teach renunciation of life, I teach creativity. I teach you to participate. Get passionately involved in existence because that is where the truth of life is hidden. Going away from life you cannot find it.

We have three of the most beautiful words to describe the ultimate: satyam, shivam, sunderam. Satyam means truth, shivam means good, sunderam means beautiful. This is the real trinity, this is the real face of god, three faces, three aspects, of godliness. And sunderam is the highest, the last, the ultimate peak.

True love grows out of the experience nf nothingness, of nobodiness, of egolessness, otherwise love remains superficial, pseudo, a game. At the most one can remain occupied with it but one gains nothing out of it; one simply loves life and its whole of *ortunity. One moves from one dream to another dream.

Unless you know that you are not an ego you cannot really love because the ego will disturb your love, it will pollute it, it will contaminate it, it will poison it; hence jealousy, possessiveness, domination and all kinds of trips and numbers. They are all because of the ego, they are not part of love. But love is such a delicate phenomenon and the ego goes on throwing rocks on that delicate flower.

Jealousy is like a rock -- very gross. Possessiveness is a rock -- it is pure poison. Love is destroyed, crushed, shattered. And these monsters are dominating people. Love has to be freed from these monsters.

The only way is to kill the root cause.

You must have seen children's stories, fables, parables, in which this strategy hes

been applied many times: there is a monster but you cannot kill him because his life is not in him; he has put his life somewhere else. Maybe it is in a parrot, and how can you find out that it is in a parrot? Unless you kill the parrot you will not be able to kill the monster. you can go on killing the monster and it will start rising up again and again. It will go on growing new heads unless you kill the parrot or wherever the life secret is hidden. Once you kill the parrot the monster is gone, gone forever.

Those stories are beautiful; they say something about our inner monsters. Their life is not in themselves.

Many people ask me how to drop jealousy, how not to be possessive, how not to be dominating, how to drop all this nonsense. They cannot be dropped unless you kill the ego because their life is in the ego.

Shunyam (the sannyasin's name) means dropping the ego and becoming a nothingness. When there is no ego, when you are not, then there is just silence.

In that silence the flower of love starts opening. It has tremendous beauty and the flavour of the divine and the colours of the ultimate. Then it does not create any bondage for you; it brings great freedom, it brings pure ecstasy. It delivers you from all darkness, from all death, it delivers you from all misery, all anguish, all anxiety. It makes you what you are supposed to be, what nature intends you to be.

And the moment you are that which is really your potential, then it is actualised, there is great contentment, great peace, great fulfilment. One hes come home.

Meditation is a state of no-mind, no-thought, no-desire. One simply is, just is -- and that is the greatest experience. Once you have tasted that is-ness there is nothing more to be experienced, there is nothing higher, nothing greater, nothing deeper either.

Dhirjo means patience. To enter into meditation one of the most essential qualities is patience. One cannot be in a hurry. The more in a hurry one is, the longer it takes. If one is capable of waiting forever --

lovingly, trustingly -- it can happen even in a single moment. Instantly it can happen, immediately it can 1/08/07

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happen; it all depends on how patient one is.

But remember, while doing meditation never bother about the result. It will come in its own time, Trust!

Enjoy meditation for its own sake, don't be greedy about it, don't project any ambition, If one can do meditation not as a means but as an end unto itself then the miracle can happen immediately, it can change your total being.

The transformation is easy. One has to learn the art of being patient -- which humanity has completely forgotten. Everybody is in such a hurry, everybody wants things to happen quickly. Nobody is ready to wait That's why there are so many charlatans in the world of religion. You ask for instant coffee so there are pedlars who sell instant coffee and they exploit you.

My approach is of patience, infinite patience -- and then the miracle is that it can be like instant coffee.

But the requirement has to be fulfilled. It is a paradox, but anything concerned with the truth is always paradoxical, it has to be paradoxical because truth needs to be inclusive of its opposite.

How long will you be here? Half a year, she murmured. That's good -- that is patience Just the Tip of the Iceberg Chapter #10

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