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‌CHAPTER 1

1 May 1979 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Hans means God’s gracious gift, Ananto means infinite. The full name will mean God’s infinite gracious gift.

Life has no beginning and no end. It is eternity, and that is God’s gift. God has given himself in the gift, because life is God.

All that is needed is a certain awakening in your heart so you can see it, feel it, taste it, touch it. The gift has been waiting and waiting for you for thousands of years, but you have been asleep, as everybody has been.

Sannyas has to become an awakening. Sannyas has to be nothing but a great effort to wake yourself up. Nobody else can do it for you. If you don’t cooperate there is no possibility. Somebody can shake you but you can go on sleeping, you can turn over. Somebody can shake you but you can start dreaming that somebody is shaking you.

Unless you want to wake up, unless an intense longing to wake up arises in you, no possible help can be given from the outside. But if you want to be awakened then all possible help is available. I am here just to help you if you desire so. It cannot be imposed on you; your freedom cannot be interfered with. With your cooperation the thing is very simple... so simple that I say: Snap your fingers, slap your face, and wake up!

But if you are not cooperating then it is the most impossible thing in the world; then nothing can be done. Sannyas is your gesture that you are willing, that you will cooperate, that you will not resist. that is the inner sannyas: non-resistance, no conflict with the Master, a tremendous surrender and trust.

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Anand means blissful, Siegfried means peaceful victory or victorious peace. Your full name will mean blissful, peaceful victory. The victory can be blissful and peaceful only if it is through love, and the victory can be blissful and peaceful only if it is not over others but over yourself.

To be victorious over oneself is a very delicate art, because the victory has to be without conflict. That’s the delicacy of it. If you start fighting with yourself you will never be victorious because you will remain divided against yourself. The defeated part will wait for its time to take revenge, and the victorious part becomes tired sooner or later. In remaining victorious it becomes tired, and the defeated part, sooner or later, because it can rest, becomes powerful. It overthrows the victorious.

Real victory is never through conflict; it is always through integration. One has to become very very one; one has to collect oneself together. Everything has to be accepted and absorbed – anger. sex, greed, jealousy. All have to be absorbed so that you can become one piece. And to become one is to be victorious, is to be blissful, is to be peaceful – and that is the space in which God descends.

God is not for beggars. It is not for the defeated ones. It is for those who are emperors, it is for those who are victorious.

Anand means bliss, Ami means nectar – the nectar of bliss. That is our search, that is everybody’s search. Even trees and animals and birds are groping for the nectar of bliss – unconsciously, in darkness, but the groping is the same. And all men are groping: the good and the bad, the sinner and the saint; the search is the same.

It is the search that unites us with the whole of existence, and the search is for a state of ultimate bliss – a bliss that will never end, a bliss that will never know any death. Hence I call it the nectar of bliss. Once it is found, it is found forever. It can be found; and it is not far away either; it is very close by. Even to say it is close by is not right, because it is exactly what you are: it is your very being. Discover it... go in!

[The new sannyasin says: I’m not sure that all of me wants to be here, that all of me wants to be a sannyasin.

That is natural, that is natural. Never ask the impossible from yourself. Those demands are violent. Even if your major part wants to be here, that’s enough... and I will seduce you slowly more and more! (laughter) Nothing to be worried about. Accept that part also that does not want to be here, because that too is you.

And that other part is also important, very significant. It gives meaning to your yes. Your no gives meaning to your yes. Your no becomes the definition of your yes. The part that resists becomes the background of your surrender and trust. The darkness is not against light; in fact the light comes loud and clear when it is dark. Hence we can only see stars in the night, not in the day. They are there in the day too, they don t go anywhere, but the background is not there, the darkness is not there.

As the night comes and darkness comes, stars start appearing. In fact to say that they start appearing is existentially wrong. They have always been there, but they start appearing to our eyes because the darkness gives the background.

And my approach is not to deny anything, but to use everything. So I will also use that part which does not want to be here. I will not create a conflict in you. I will bridge both the parts, and when the opposites meet, great harmony arises. That part can be cut but then you will not be so rich. Your yes will be a little poorer because it will come out of helplessness, because you cannot say no. But you can say no and yet you are saying yes. Your yes has significance, validity. It is coming in spite of the no, hence it is valuable.

Anand means bliss, Teresa means a reaper, a harvester. Your full name will mean a reaper of bliss.

That’s what sannyas is all about. The seeds are there, the season is there, because it is always the season. The soil is there, the sun and the rains – everything is available. All that is needed on your part is to sow the seeds, to drop the seeds in the soil so that they can disappear into the dark womb of the earth. Soon the seeds will be gone but the plants will arrive, and it will not be long before the reaping season comes.

But people don’t take the first step, hence they go on missing. They are afraid of dropping the seeds in the soil. The fear is: “Who knows? – the seeds may be lost, they may never become plants.” That risk has to be taken, that courage is a must, and that trust is needed. The farmer trusts. He drops the seeds that he has for something that may come, may not come. But it always comes: it is bound to come.

Existence responds with great love. If you trust, existence trusts you. If you are ready to die, existence helps you to resurrect.

Anand means bliss, Helen means the bright one, the lightful, the luminous. Bliss is luminous. You cannot hide it. It expresses, manifests itself, in a thousand and one ways. It sings, it dances, it creates.

The blissful person cannot be lost in the crowd. You can see and find him amidst thousands, because he has a totally different vibe. When others are just dark, he is full of light. He is a lamp unto himself. His heart is no more empty: the flame from the beyond has descended into him.

Let it not only be your name, make it your existence. It simply indicates your potentiality, everybody’s potentiality. There is no need to live in darkness. Everybody is born to live in light as light, and we have to claim our right.

[A sannyasin who is leaving says he feels restless but can’t say why.]

Mm mm. It will be good if you can come back, mm? – because you need some work. It is good to work now so that this restlessness can be finished.

Restlessness is just energy which is boiling within, and you have not yet been able to find the right creative channelization for it. Restlessness is only symptomatic. It simply shows that there is unused energy. All that you need is a creative direction.

So just come and be here longer, mm? – and soon your energy will find the right direction. And once the energy starts moving in the right direction great rest arises. Not that you become inactive; in fact

just the opposite happens: when you feel restful you can act tremendously, because all your energy is available for action. When you are restless, in restlessness, your energy becomes entrapped. In restlessness you dissipate energy. If it becomes a habit it is one of the most dangerous things to happen – but it happens in the majority.

My own observation is: unless a person finds a creative manifestation for his being he remains restless. At the most he can repress restlessness, console himself, remain occupied with some nonsense; but that is not the right way. That is wasting such precious energy that we cannot regain in any other way.

[Another sannyasin who is leaving says: I wondered if we could be close in Europe.]

Mm mm. (a pause) Every night meditate before you go to sleep, and while you are falling asleep, just go on remembering me... not verbally, just the face, just the idea. Soon a communication with the unconscious will start, and you will be as close as you are here, or even more.

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