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CHAPTER 15
30 December 1975 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
[A sannyasin who had been celibate for several months on Osho’s suggestion, said she had been feeling very sexual lately and did not know what she should do about it.]
Just do one thing whenever it happens again. Sit straight – on a chair or on the floor – with the spine straight, but loose and not tense.
Inhale slowly and deeply. Don’tbe in a hurry; very slowly go on inhaling. The belly comes up first; you go on inhaling. The chest comes up next, and then finally you can feel that the air is filled up to the neck. Then for a moment or two just keep the breath in, for as long as you can without straining, then exhale. Exhale also very slowly but in the reverse order. When the belly is being emptied, pull it in so that all the air goes out.
This has to be done just seven times. Then sit silently and start repeating, ‘aum, aum, aum.’ While repeating aum, keep your concentration on the third eye spot between the two eyebrows. Forget about the breathing, and go on repeating in a very drowsy way, aum, aum, aum like a mother sings a lullaby so the child goes to sleep. The mouth should be closed, so much so that the tongue is touching the roof; and your while concentration is on the third eye.
Do this just for two or three minutes and you will feel that the whole head is relaxing. When it starts relaxing you will immediately feel inside a tightness dropping, a tension disappearing. Then bring your concentration down to the throat; go on repeating aum, but with your concentration on the throat. Then you will see that your shoulders, your throat and your face are relaxing and that the tension is falling away like a burden dropping; you are becoming weightless.
Then drop deeper, bringing your concentration to the navel and continuing the aum. You are going deeper and deeper and deeperThen finally you come to the sex centre. This will take at the most
ten minutes, fifteen minutes, so go slowly, there is no hurry.
When you have reached the sex centre the whole body will be relaxed, and you will feel a glow as if some aura, some light, is surrounding you. You are full of energy, but the energy is like a reservoir; full of energy but with no ripples. Then you can sit in that state as much as you like; the meditation is over – now you are simply enjoying. Stop the aum and simply sit. If you feel like Iying you can lie down, but if you move that position the state will sooner disappear, so sit a little and enjoy it.
This brings what scientists call the alphawave in the mind. It has a certain rhythm – ten cycles per secondwhich is also the rhythm of the magnetic field of the earth. When you are also in the same rhythm, you become part of the magnetic field of the earth. This is what relaxation is.
Sometimes it can happen without any effort. It happens while making love, doing meditation; sometimes while dancing or singing and sometimes for no reason at all. But whenever your rhythm coincides with the magnetic field of the earth, you feel very very happy and glowing, just beautiful. Just to be, is a benediction.
So whether one achieves it through sex or meditation or dancing, through listening to music or watching beautiful scenery or looking at the stars, is irrelevant. The whole point is that when your body becomes too tense – for any reason at all – just do it and it will give you total relaxation.
When our rhythm and the rhythm of the earth are different, the tension arises. A child is not sexual because his rhythm is still the same as that of the earth. But when he grows he will go far away from being natural, will become part of the society and will start becoming tense and worried. Anguish and then sex will arise. The more tense a society, the more sexual it becomes.
That is why the West has become so sexual. Because there are so many tensions, they have to be released, and there seems no other way to release them. But there are a thousand and one ways. So you just try this, mm?
[An Indian sannyasin says: I want to jump and yet I haven’t jumped, I want to do what you want me to do, and yet there’s a part of me that resists, and I’m in so much confusion.]
(laughingly) I know, it is natural. Nobody can surrender totally, nobody. If you can surrender totally then right this moment you will become enlightened. Nothing remains to be done then.
So you cannot be total in the beginning; it is not so easy. Even if a part can surrender that is more than enough. One should be happy about it.
When I say, ‘Don’t create a problem,’ I mean this: that a part of you is surrendered, another part is not – that’s why there is conflict. The conflict is natural, because now you are divided, and the part which is surrendered knows the beauty of it, and would like the other part to surrender too. But the other part is completely unaware of it and is afraid, so conflict arises.
Don’t pay much attention to the other part. A little part is surrendered – be happy about it, be grateful. Even that doesn’t happen to millions of people. They waste their whole life, and never come to know what love is, what surrender and trust are.
Through your gratefulness other parts will follow by and by. Emphasis should be on the part that has surrendered – that should be your centre. The other parts that are not surrendered should be left to the periphery. You should be indifferent.
And the second thing is: whenever you meditate many things will happen, and the idea is bound to come that something has happened to you. Nothing is wrong in the idea, that too is natural. One starts feeling that one is purer, holier; nothing is wrong in that. The problem arises if you make it an ego-trip. There is no need to make it an ego-trip; let it be a simple statement of fact. It is so, but don’t get too attached to it – you need not prove it to anybody. Don’t evaluate or judge it.
The problem arises when you start feeling ‘holier than thou’. Holiness is good, but when it becomes comparative then it is bad. Do you follow me?
When you take a bath you feel a certain feeling of coolness, of freshness – and there is nothing wrong in it. But when you see a beggar, dirty, and a condemnation arises; when you cannot see that man’s humanity, you simply see the dirt, and no compassion arises in you but rather condemnation; when you feel that you are purer than this man – then it is wrong, then it has become an ego-trip.
And it is good also to help this person to try to have a bath; to create a situation where if he can be made interested he also can take a bath. So, good, feel compassion for people but not condemnation. In both ways you feel holy, but in one way you are creating trouble for yourself. Sooner or later that pureness will disappear and only ego will remain there. In another way, when you feel compassion, your holiness will grow, your purity will grow every day. Ego is the only dirty thing there is.
So I say don’t create any problems out of these. Enjoy everything that comes naturally.
[A sannyasin says: The other night I got very frightened. I was in my room lying on my bed, and for some reason I started thinking that I am not my body alone. The room stood out very strongly, everything in the room stood out strongly, but it wasn’t warm, it was cold.
It was an effortless meditation. It suddenly happened and that’s why you got frightened.
Now try it on purpose and consciously tonight. Be in the same room; lie down and start thinking that you are not the body, that you are separate from the body. The moment that you start thinking that you are not the body, everything will become very present and strong, because the warmth is within the identification with the body.
Suddenly you are in a strange land: only things are there, and your own body has become like a corpse – that’s why you got frightened. Try again tonight. Go in deeper and deeper, and don’t become afraid. If you become very afraid, take the locket (the locket, which is part of the mala all sannyasins wear, has a picture of Osho in it) in the hand and remember me. Continue the feeling that you are not the body, and by and by take the next step – that you are also not the mind. Thoughts are there, but you are not them. You are the observer of both the body and the mind, you are a witness. Go on feeling it as deeply as possible.
In the beginning it will look like death – it is. But soon you will see that a new sense of life is arising. The fear will disappear and instead you will feel a weightlessness. You will feel a new sort of freedom as if suddenly wings have grown to you and you can fly, and the whole world is yours. But before you attain to that, fear will be there and it will become very very terrible. One has to pass through it.
Now for seven nights do it, and become as frightened as you can – but don’t run away from it, don’t escape. Go deeper. You will feel like sinking, dying, suffocating. Take the locket in the hand and accept it, that it is okay.
To come to oneself, one has to pass through many fears. After the dark night there is the dawn, the morning.
It has been good, you should be happy. When will you do it, at exactly what time? – so I can watch you.
[He replies:: Ten o’clock.]
Ten o’clock. Then be particular – exactly ten o’clock. And if you feel me there, don’t get frightened. (a chuckle) Mm? and don’t get scaredl
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