17

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‌CHAPTER 17

24 April 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says she hasn’t the courage to take risks.]

But that may be your thing – not taking risks. There is no need to take risks. If that is your thing, it’s okay. If that is not your thing, there is no need. Always remember that when I say ‘Do your thing’, I mean do it – whatsoever it is. It may be a surrender to me, but if it is your thing you have to do it.

You have to feel whatsoever is pleasurable to you. Whatsoever gives you joy, peace, that’s your thing. There is no other criterion. This is again taking a criterion from the outside – that one should take risks, that one should be courageous... but why? If you don’t feel like it, there is no need to be anything. If you feel good floating the way you are, perfectly okay. If you feel that something is wrong... and that has to be your feeling, not your idea, because listening to me may give you wrong notions, wrong ideas, wrong interpretations. That’s what has happened.

When I am talking to so many people I have to talk in a general way; it cannot be personal. It cannot fit you exactly. You have to understand this. I say ‘Take risks’, but this may be your risk – not taking risks. That is a risk! But others are taking risks and moving into danger and you feel competitive. You think you should do it too. Why? You see that others are very brave and courageous and you feel like a coward – then be a coward!

But even in the words, the condemnation is hidden. The moment we say, ‘Be a coward,’ it seems that something is condemned. No, not at all. There is nothing like condemnation in it. That’s your way. If you want to take flight, then take flight.

Always remember that whatsoever feels pleasant to you, is you. So let that be the only criterion inside. Always go on moving and judging from the innermost criterion whether it is feeling good,

if you are happy. The problem will arise many times because you will not be able to distinguish between your feelings and your thoughts. So there you have to be a little watchful and see.

A feeling is a total thing. A thought is a head thing. A feeling surrounds you, envelops you. A feeling is something that goes to your very guts... it moves in your blood... it breathes in your breathing. A feeling is a total thing.

For example right now sitting before me, a certain feeling is surrounding you. That is not a thought – that’s a feeling. Later on you will remember it, and then it will be a thought. Later on you will start brooding about it; then it will be a thought. Thought is either of the past or of the future. Feeling is always of the present, so feeling knows no comparison. Feeling knows no planning. Either it is there or it is not there.

Be a feeling being.

And never compare with others because they may be doing their thing. Somebody is writing poetry and is becoming famous, and is applauded, appreciated. That may be his thing. Your thing may just be to remain unknown. So you come into the world, live in the world, and you leave the world as if you had never come. But that too has a beauty of its own. Who has said that only famous people are beautiful? Just come in like a small whisper. Nobody hears when one passes by... not even the dust is stirred. One leaves no footprint, nothing... as if one had never been. That has a beauty of its own.

Those also serve who stand and wait.

But these things should come to you from the inner core. Listening to me, the mind catches hold of certain ideas and then one starts thinking. Listen to me, understand it, and forget all about it. Digest it and forget all about it so that it becomes part of you. Then it will start functioning from your centre.

You are growing perfectly. If you have to listen to me, and you ask me, I will say that I am perfectly happy with you. I don’t see anything wrong... but the head goes on comparing: others are doing this and that and you have not yet proved yourself, your mettle; you have not shown the world who you are. What is the point? Why bother?

I don’t see that there is a real problem. If there is I will tell you. Simply be happy! That’s what I mean by being yourself. Be as if you are alone in the world. What will you do then? Everybody disappears and you are alone in the world. What will you do?

Just today I was reading a joke. A pilot of a spaceship landed back on earth, and suddenly he saw that there was nobody at the airport. He looked all around, went into the airport – nobody, not a single soul. He went into the city – not a single soul. Suddenly all souls had disappeared, the whole town empty! He took the airship to another airport. He went from New York to California, to England to the Continent, to India and to China – and everywhere the same thing. Suddenly all human beings had disappeared.

He became very miserable. He went home to his apartment on the thirtieth storey of a building and jumped out of it because there was nothing to do. Alone what can you do? He committed suicide.

But the moment he jumped he became more miserable, because suddenly the telephone started ringing (laughter). But it was too late – he had jumped!

So what will you do if you are alone in the world? Commit suicide? If that idea comes, you must be committing suicide right now, knowingly, unknowingly. If you think that if the whole world disappears you will meditate – so beautiful... nobody to disturb you – you must be meditating right now. Or if you think you will sing or dance, that’s what you are doing right now. If you are doing something for other people, then of course you will commit suicide.

I will not commit suicide. But people who are performing for others – what will they do? They will go mad immediately, because there is no audience; performance is not possible. They have been just actors, trying their whole life to prove something to people. Now those people have disappeared, so there is no point.

All your political leaders will commit suicide. What will they do? There is nobody to vote for them, and nobody to pay attention to them, nobody to garland them – nobody! Suddenly they are left alone. They will not feel any worth in their being.

That’s what I mean when I say listen to your own being as if you are alone In the world. People are there – good; so far, so good. If they are not there, you will be just like a river, flowing. The river will not bother whether people come to swim or not. And the sun will go on shining. It will not bother whether the beaches are full of people taking sunbaths or not. Flowers will go on flowering... birds will go on singing. Just mad people will be in difficulty; otherwise everything will be as it is.

So whenever you feel confused, always think whether you would be doing whatsoever you are doing alone. Then it is perfectly right – continue it. If you feel you will not be able to do it alone because you depend on others’ appreciation, certificates, this and that, then you are not doing your own thing. You are doing something else which is expected of you.

[A visitor said she feels androgynous, and rebellious against female roles... and now she would like to be more positive.]

I understand (thoughtfully). Mm mm... but remember one thing – reaction is not revolt. I call what you have done a reaction, not a revolt.

In reaction you just go to the opposite extreme. In fact the same society that you are thinking you are revolting against goes on controlling you in a negative way. It decides what you should do. If the society expects this, you will not do this. You will do just the opposite – but the opposite is decided by the society. If the society says, ‘Don’t do this,’ and you do it, then too, the society has been too important to you because it has decided your action by saying not to do it. This is reaction.

Reaction appears to be like a rebellion, but it is not. It is a pseudo-rebellion, a false coin, a counterfeit, and it can never be satisfying. Again and again you will feel that you have been against the society, but you have not been able to get rid of it.

It is said of Mulla Nasrudin, that from his very childhood he was thought to be a difficult child; they called him contrary. If you say to him ‘Sit down’ he will not sit down. If you want him to sit down, tell him to stand – and immediately he will sit down. Contrary.

One day he was crossing a small stream with his father. On his donkey they had loaded bags of sugar, which were leaning too much to the right and there was fear that they might fall into the river.

The father wanted to say, ’Balance them – pull the bags to the left, but then the contrary mind of Mulla Nasrudin would do just the opposite; he would pull the bags to the right. Then they would fall into the river sooner than they would have done.

So the father said, ‘Pull the bags to the right, Nasrudin. They are going to fall to the left side.’ He knew that he would pull from the left just to go against him. But this time something happened. Nasrudin pulled to the right, and all the bags fell in!

The father said, ‘What have you done? This is not like you!’

Nasrudin said, ‘Am I just going to be a reactionary all my life? By telling me to pull to the right, you want me to pull to the left? Now I am an adult. You have forgotten that today I completed my twenty-one years!’

Become an adult now. You revolted – you thought you revolted, but it is not a real revolution, otherwise you would have been tremendously happy. A rebellious man is the most blissful man in the world, but a reactionary is not.

So don’t think in terms of what the society has been expecting of you. Think in terms of your inner being; what you would like to do. Now enough is enough! Why allow them to dominate forever and ever? Now become a real rebellious mind, and just do whatsoever makes you feel good. Even if society says, ‘Do it, it is good,’ if you feel good, do it! That is what revolution is – to listen to the inner voice.

Don’t let society decide for you any more. Otherwise those who are obedient follow society, and those who are disobedient also follow the society – in the opposite way, but both are followers of the society.

A truly rebellious person does not bother what society says. He listens to his own heart and then decides. If it falls in line with the society, so far so good. If it doesn’t, there is no problem; he is ready to be alone and to walk alone. Many times you will be walking with the society, because all that society says is not wrong; many things are true.

If you think that whatsoever society says is wrong, you will be unhappy because you will miss many truths. If you think that whatsoever society says is right, you will be miserable because you will think many wrong things to be right and you will be in their grip.

Forget all about society... enough! Just listen to your heart and you will see that many things that society says are perfectly true, so go with it. Many things are perfect nonsense, so never go with them.

But my emphasis is not on following or not following the society. My emphasis is on following your own inner voice. Try to find out who you are, what your own feelings are.

[Osho went on to reiterate what he had said in a previous darshan – that because homosexuality is considered avantgarde, and bad people become homosexual. The reverse may also happen in the future. If homosexuality becomes the accepted form of sexuality, people will become heterosexual and consider themselves great revolutionaries.]

I am not saying whether homosexuality is good or bad, whether heterosexuality is good or bad – these are foolish statements. Just listen to your own being. If you feel good, whatsoever it is, without any conditions, move with it. Be selfish. Let that be the deciding factor: be selfish. Always listen to your own self, its happiness, and wherever you can find it, find.

This is the beauty of it. If you are selfish you will become very altruistic because you will find that you can only be happy when you make people happy. You will find by experimentation that you can be peaceful only if you don’t make other people around you disturbed. Otherwise you cannot be peaceful. One who is really selfish becomes automatically altruistic. A really selfish person becomes a servant of the people.

So this is what I would like. Drop the society as if it doesn’t exist. It is not worth that much; you have given it too much attention.

[The sannyasin said that it was difficult to live in society. For example she likes to swim naked, and sit in cafes. But because she is female she gets hassled.]

But the problem isJust listen – somebody wants to expose his genital organs to you in the street.

He is an exhibitionist; he wants to undress before you. He says this is his life and he enjoys it. What will you say? Will you not feel offended?

Yes, then the question is, the moment the other enters, you have to think about him also. If there is nobody, swimming naked is perfectly good. But if there are other people there, you are exposing your naked body to them and they don’t want to see it. Because they are repressed, they are afraid they may do something.

They are not afraid of your naked body. They are afraid of their repressions! They are afraid that they may forget everything – they may rape you! They are afraid of their own desires, inhibitions, and they know if somebody provokes them too much they may forget all etiquette, all formality, all religion, all morality. They may forget that they are human beings; they may become just like animals. They may jump on you and rape you.

So they are afraid of themselves, but they don’t want to accept that so they say, ‘Nobody can swim naked – it is obscene.’ They throw the responsibility on the naked person. It is not the responsibility of the naked person. But when you are in the world with people, you have to watch.

You would like to walk in the middle of the road because you feel like it, but then the whole traffic will be disturbed. If the policeman comes and tells you to walk to the right, you may say, ‘It is not my liking. I want to walk in the middle.’

It happened that when Russia became independent of the Czar in 1917, an old woman started walking in the middle of a Moscow street. The policeman came and said, ‘What are you doing lady? You will be killed! Walk by the side of the road!’

She said, No more of that nonsense! I always wanted to walk in the middle. And now the country is free, revolution has happened, I am going to walk in the middle of the road!’

Then it is nonsense and you have to be stopped. You want to dance naked in the street, but you are not alone. There are other people and they are involved. This street is not only yours; it is common properly. This river is not yours.

So if you want to be naked, move to a lonely place. Go to the Himalayas somewhere, where there is nobody, and do whatsoever you want to do. I know you will not enjoy nakedness there.

That’s what I mean when I say you are a reactionary. You would like to be naked here where you can hurt people and say, ‘I want to do my thing. Who are you to prevent me?’ Go – there is no problem. Who is saying to you that you have to be in a city? There are still forests, there are still mountains. Go before they disappear! Just go – and do there whatsoever is your heart’s desire.

But I know you will not enjoy it because what is the point of freedom when there is nobody to prohibit you?

... Then in order to be free, you will miss many other things of the society. Everybody has to decide about that. If you want all the benefits that society is giving you.You will not have electricity there.

You cannot have air-conditioning there. You will have to seek and search for your food like a hunter. It will not be available in restaurants, and you will not be able to sit in a restaurant and watch people. So you will suffer there with no restaurant and nowhere to sit and no one to watch.

Life has to be an awareness – that if you live in a society there are a few benefits: a restaurant to sit in, a road to walk on, food, and other facilities. If you want to be alone and to enjoy swimming in the riverbut that cannot be your whole life. You will feel hungry after one or two hours. Sooner or later

you will feel hungry to see people, because that too is part of being human.

When you see people, something is satisfied deep down, because we are born in a society, we live in a society. Deep down we are connected with societywe live in an ocean of consciousness. You

will feel impoverished in a forest. Sooner or later you will feel fed up with the trees because they don’t talk, they don’t answer; they don’t respond. Sooner or later you will become fed up with the birds because they go on singing the same thing again and again. Then you will start hankering for the society. So one has to decide. Benefits are there, and a few limitations are there. One needs to decide and choose.

Living in society is a responsibility. You are not alone so you have to look to others and they have to look to you. It is a relationship, a subtle relationship. So just decide.

If you feel that this is too much, that these limitations are too much and you are ready to forego all the benefits, then move. But if you think those benefits are worth something.Talking to a human

being is a great thing, a valuable thing; talking to somebody who can understand you. Talking to somebody who has understood life is a great benefit. Trees cannot give that to you.

Swimming in the river is a very very small thing. Life is very big. Just for swimming naked one cannot lose the whole life. And it is always a choice. You have to lose a few things to gain a few others. Don’t be too obsessed with small things.

You can close your room and move naked, and there is nobody to disturb you. You can be naked in your bathroom and enjoy it. But there must be something of an exhibitionist...

So you can go and lie down on the terrace in the sun. There is no need for anybody to be bothered that you are naked.

[She answers: I know it’s a question of compromise... ]

It is not a question of compromise! It is a question of understanding. Compromise is not the right word... it is a question of understanding.

For example you have come to me. If you are here for one hour, you are losing many more things. In that one hour you could have done many other things. You could have gone to the movie; you have missed the movie. You could have gone to see friends. You could have gone to a coffee-house; you have missed that. You could have danced; you have missed that. You could have read; you have missed that. You have missed a thousand and one things to come to me. You may not be aware, but you have missed – because there were millions of alternatives. This is how life is. You cannot do all the things together. It is not a question of compromise... it is a question of alertness.

If you become alert, things become very easy and one finds a way. One always finds a way. That’s what one should try to do – to live life as much as possible... to gain as much out of life as possible. Out of everything, going on choosing the best – the best that is humanly possible so you become enriched. But the attitude of just being against society is not going to help. Society does not bother about it, and you will be crippled by it.

Forget about rules, forget about society. Just think about yourself, your possibilities, alternatives – what can be chosen and what will be the best choice. If you feel that you have made a mistake, change it. Learn by trial and error. That’s how it has to be. Don’t get obsessed by small things; they are not that important. Life is a big thing. It is not equivalent to going naked in the sun or the river. It is a very big, very complicated thing.

[A therapist says that when she is with people she feels shrinking... and crazy. She has been doing bio-energetics.]

That’s why you have become aware of the energy; otherwise people are not really aware. It always happens to everybody, but people who are working on energy systems – bio-energetics, acupuncture, yoga – become more alert about certain phenomena which are happening to everybody, but about which people are not alert.

A certain space Is needed by. everybody. Whenever people encroach on that space your energy shrinks; it becomes almost panicky inside.

That space is becoming less and less every day. The world is becoming too crowded. Everywhere – in the train, in the bus, in the theatre, on the street, in the shop, in the hotel, in colleges, in schools, the crowd is too much and the necessary space for the growth of the individual has disappeared. A deep stress has arisen in every human being. They call it the ‘stress syndrome’. Now it has become almost normal.

Everybody is stressed, but because it has become normal, people are not aware of it. It creates many sorts of inner illnesses; particularly tenser types of diseases come out of this stress. For an uncivilised person, a primitive person, it is almost impossible to have tension. A person who lives in the wilderness cannot have tension.

[Osho said that scientists have found that it is inherent in all animals to protect a certain territory in which to preserve their well-being.]

Watch people in the train standing side by side, almost being crushed by each other – shrunken, hard, frozen, not moving, because they are afraid. If they move, the energy moves, so they remain frozen. as if they are dead, so they cannot feel the presence of the other. That’s how bodies have become more and more deadened, insensitive.

Because you have been working in bio-energetics, the passage has become clear and you can feel it. Now you have to do something about it, otherwise it will create problems.

There are two things you can do whenever people are close and you feel the first sign of panic, fear and strain. Exhale deeply and throw the air out. Just feel that the whole stress is being thrown out with the air. Then inhale deeply. Take in fresh air and feel that your chest, your inner passage is expanding. Just seven breaths will do, and suddenly you will see that there is no problem.

Do this for at least two weeks...

The most important thing is the idea that with the exhalation you are throwing out stress.

Breathing can be used to invite many things, to throw many things. It is the most vital part in you. It is you. So whatsoever you do to your breathing, you are doing to yourself, mm?

[The Enlightenment Intensive are present. A non-sannyasin group member said he had left after the first evening. Osho said this was all right.

A sannyasin participant says: I couldn’t find myself. I just had feelings of frustration and dislike for myself.]

Forget about it. I think some time later you will have to repeat it. It is a very very powerful method and its benefits are tremendous, but one has to be in right tuning with it.

For example he (the visitor) was feeling that it was not for him, so there is no point, and forcing yourself is not of much use; nothing will come out of it. But if one can do it without any effort of the will, if one can simply surrender to the process, much comes out of it.

The frustrations were there because there was some expectation in you that something was going to happen. That created the whole trouble. If you have some expectation you will be frustrated and nothing will come out of it. But one has to learn by doing it; there is no other way. So forget about it. Whatsoever it could do it has done.

But always remember while doing the meditations or a group, never go with an expectation. Just go to see what happens, and allow it to happen. Don’t go on looking out of the corner of the eye

and don’t go on waiting for something to happen, because that will become a constant barrier and it won’t allow you to be there totally. It won’t allow you to be herenow. That expectation will constantly hover around your head and you will say, ‘It has still not happened. Up to now it has not happened and one day is gone. Another day has gone – what are you doing? Nothing has happened!’

That becomes an auto-hypnosis. Nothing has happened and the time is running out! You miss.

In the Tao group, simply do it. If the mind says that nothing is happening, tell the mind that nothing is going to happen! For what are you looking? Nothing is the goal! Once you cannot be frustrated by the process, you will be tremendously benefited by it. That’s the rule: if you cannot be frustrated by it, you will be benefited. The frustration. simply shows that you’ve a deep desire, a deep undercurrent of desire, that is frustrating you – not the group.

But it is nothing to worry about. It happens to almost everybody in the first group. And this is an intense group. One starts rationalising, in many ways, about what is the point and why are you wasting your time. Many times the idea will come to leave; that’s natural.

But one learns, mm? So in the Tao group, don’t carry any expectations and much is possible. [Osho enquires of the visitor is he is doing another group, and he replies: the Tao group.]

That will be good. This time, even if a slight idea enters into the mind to leave, there is no need to fight with the idea. Just be indifferent to it.

You left this group. What did you do in these two days when you left? What have you attained in these two days? I am just asking you to ask yourself. Whenever we are leaving something, we should always think, ‘What are we attaining by leaving?’ It is better to go through it.

Maybe you won’t gain anything, but maybe something will come out of it. Whenever it is a question between doing something and not doing, always choose doing. If you don’t gain anything, it is almost as if you have not done it; nothing is lost. But one never knows... there are surprises in life.

Sometimes something happens that one was never expecting. And sometimes something happens which is almost beyond intellect, or below intellect. Something simply takes possession of you, so non-intellectual, that later on you may not be able to even believe that it happened.

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