Chapter title: None

‌Chapter title: None‌

25 January 1980 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Archive code: 8001255 ShortTitle: RAFTER25 Audio:

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[NOTE: This is an unedited tape transcript of an unpublished darshan diary, which has been copy-typed. It is for reference purposes only.]

This is your name: Swami Deva Douglas. Deva means divine. Douglas means dark water.

For centuries gos has ben thought of as light. That is because of our fear of darkness. Not that god is only light, god is as much light as he is darkness. God has to be both, otherwise darkness would not exist at all. God has to be the lowest and the highest, matter and mind. God has to be the whole, and the whole contains the polar opposite. God cannot be only light. It is because of our fear of darkness that we have 1/08/07

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never thought of god as dark, it has nothing to do with god. And to approach god through fear is not the right approach. God should be approached fearlessly, in deep love but not out of fear.

If you look with fear you will project your fear, you will see things which are not there and you will not see things which are there. When you are not afraid you look with absolute clarity. Fear is like smoke surrounding you, like clouds, and god can be seen only with clarity, absolute clarity, unconditional clarity, clarity and nothing else. Then god is both, he is as much light as dark. Then he is both summer and winter, life and death. Then the duality disappears and a tremendous oneness arises in your vision. That oneness brings bliss. That oneness brings freedom.

We are bound by the dual and we can be freed only by the one. As Plotinus says: the search for god is a flight of the alone to the alone.

Hence Douglas is a beautiful name -- dark water. I am simply adding a new depth it it. I am calling it divine dark water. Start looking at darkness as divine. start looking at everything as divine, because all is divine whether we know it or not, whether we recognize it or not. Our recognition is irrelevant, existence is divine. If we recognize it we rejoice; if we don't recognize it we suffer unnecessarily.

This is your name: Swami Deva Henner. Deva means divine. Henner means home.

Man has to be a host to god. Man has to be a womb, a home, receptivity. That is the most fundamental thing to be understood about god. A woman simply means man with a womb. That is exactly the meaning of the word woman: womb-man.

One cannot conquer god, one can only be conquered. One cannot be aggressive towards truth, the very aggressiveness will be the barrier. One can only be vulnerable, available, open. One has to become a host.

The moment one is really a host god appears as a guest.

Become a home of god! Unless that happens life has been meaningless.

Sannyas is just the art of making you, preparing you to be a home for god, as a residence for the truth, for the ultimate, as a receptacle for that which is. Of course ultimately the guest and the host become one. It is only in the beginning that you are a host and god is the guest. The moment he enters into the host both disappear into one unity. Then the guest is not found, the host is not found; something new arises out of this meeting. That is resurrection. That is the birth

of the unknown and the unknowable in you. And one knows life at its ultimate peak, in its absolute joyousness, as a blessing, as a benediction, only then when the host and the guest become one.

This is your name: Ma Anand Sandy. Anand means bliss, sandy means a helper of mankind -- a blissful helper of mankind.

One can become a helper for two reasons: either out of misery or out of bliss. One can be a servant to humanity out of misery,. One can become interested in others' misery just on avoid one's misery. Just to remain occupied with others' problems, so that one need not look at one's own problems. One can become too involved with others' problems, for the simple reason that their problems are so big, so great, so complicated, that in comparison your problems look very tine, small, meaningless.

Out of one hundred, ninety-nice so-called public servants are public servants only because of misery.

They are miserable people and they have not the guts to encounter their misery, they are not courageous enough to face it so the best way is to become involved in others' misery. It gives you consolation, you are not the only one who is miserable. Millions are miserable, more miserable than you are. What is your misery compared to their misery? That is a great consolation.

But a person who becomes a helper or a servant out of misery is never really a helper, he harms people.

Because you can give to people only that which you have got in the first place. If you are miserable you will carry infections of misery with you, you will vibrate misery, you will pulsate misery, you will create misery in people in such subtle ways that you may not even become aware of what you are doing.

That's what the so-called missionaries of all the religions have been doing down the ages. They go to help people but they simply make them feel more guilty. They create misery for others. In the name of service they destroy people's integrity, their confidence, their self-respect. In the name of service they create such guilt in them that they lose all confidence in themselves. They become self- condemnors. They start feeling that they are sinners and that they are doomed... their sins are so much that they are bound to go to 1/08/07

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hell. Their lives become burdened. And this is because of the people who wanted to help them.

All the so-called religious people have been harming and poisoning people for the simple reason that their own misery is the root cause of their so-called service, help, mission.

In my approach only a blissful person can be a helper of mankind, because a blissful person can share his bliss and a blissful person can accept people with all their limitations. He understands, he is capable of understanding. And he is so blissful that he cannot call people sinners, he cannot see any sin anywhere. He sees only gods and goddesses everywhere. It is impossible for him to believe that there is a hell. If there is a god there cannot be a hell. If there is hell then there can be no god, because god means compassion. If god cannot forgive small sins... who will be able to forgive if even god is incapable of forgiving?

And what are people's sins? Somebody is smoking cigarettes... and that is sin. It may be a little stupid, silly, taking the smoke in and out, but it is a kind of pranayama, a stupid kind of pranayama. You could have taken fresh air in and out and it would have been far more hygienicly and healthy medically too. It may be a little suicidal but it is not sin.

But people have been condemned for small things. There are religions that condemn tea as a sin.

Drinking tea means that you are bound for hell. If that is true then I am bound for hell! (laughter) I must drink more tea than anybody else in the whole world.

Everything becomes a condemnation. Because of their misery the person wants to condemn, he wants to create more problems for you. That is his way of distracting his own mind, he directs it towards others'

problems. And these well-wishers, these do-gooders have destroyed the whole dignity and beauty of human beings. They have been a calamity. Real service

arises out of bliss.

So I don't talk about service, I don't talk about helping others -- in that way I teach you selfishness. I teach you to be blissful because I know, and I know absolutely, that if you are blissful you are bound to share it. Nobody can contain it. If you are blissful you are bound to serve people. And when service comes out of bliss it has a fragrance of its own, a beauty, a grace. It is something divine. Its very touch is healing. It transforms dust into gold.

So first become a blissful person and then you can be Sandy!

This is your name: Ma Prem Maria. Prem means love. Maria means fragrance.

Love can exist on many planes. It is like a ladder with many rungs which run from the lowest to the highest, from the earthly to the heavenly. The lowest kind of love expresses itself as sex. It is gross, it is physical, biological, chemical, hormonal. But there is a grain of love in it. Ninety-nine per cent of it is something else, but one per cent of love exists in it. And that one per cent can take you higher. That one per cent can become the small thread that joins you to the higher planes of love. That's why I am not against sex, because it contains a bridge -- a very small bridge and available only to very alert people. Otherwise ninety-nine per cent of it is just mud, only one per cent is lotus.

To find that one per cent one has to be very meditative, very alert. Sex has to become a meditation, only then can you find out where that one per cent is. That's the whole art of Tantra, making sex a meditation.

Then slowly slowly you start stumbling upon those few moments which are not sexual at all but which happen through sex, those few moments when you take off. Of course the ground is sex, but you take off from the ground. For a few moments you are not on the earth.

Those moments when you dissolve, when the other disappears, when there are not two bodies but one, not two minds but one, not even two souls but one, are really the orgasmic moments. For a moment the ego has evaporated, time has stopped and you are in contact with eternity. But the moment is so small that unless you are very meditative you are bound to miss it. You may come to realize it later or when it is no more, but then it is pointless, it is only a memory.

People go on doing that. They imagine that moment, hence the hankering for

sex. They continuously imagine that moment, that it is going to happen, some day, somewhere, with someone. They fantasize, it is in the future. For they remember it: it happened somewhere, some time, with someone -- but it is past. Both are non-existential. The past is no more, the future is not yet.

Meditation means catching the orgasmic reality of sex in the present, not somewhere else but now and here. When you are deeply involved in sex you have to be very very alert so that you don't miss the orgasmic moment and you can see through it. It becomes transparent, it brings the world of the beyond to you.

For the first time you become aware that sex contains something which is non- sexual. In fact that's the real center of the whole sexuality. To miss it is to miss all. Just as the body contains the soul and matter 1/08/07

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contains the spirit, sex contains something which is not sex -- that is love. And once you have become aware of it you can start growing more and more towards it, you can start changing more and more energy towards it. You will know the knack of it. Just by becoming aware of what it is, you will know how to create more and more energy, moving in that direction you will know how to create that space more and more.

Soon one can create it without any sex at all, without any need of the other. That is the day of great celebration in life, when you can be orgasmic without any need, without any dependence on the other. Then love becomes a pure fragrance. Then it is not even a flower but an invisible fragrance. That fragrance is the goal, the goal of life, and unless one attains it one remains unfulfilled. Unless one attains it one remains just a seed which does contain the fragrance, but first it has to become a tree and then it has to bloom and only then can the fragrance be released. You cannot find it by cutting the seed. You will simply destroy the seed and you will not find anything, no fragrance, It is there, but unmanifest. Sex contains love in an unmanifest form. It has to be manifested, and the more manifest it becomes less and less does sex remain in your life. A moment comes when your life is pure love. Then even if you are in a sexual relationship it is not

sexual. It may appear to others as a sexual relationship but it is not.

This has to be your meditation: you have to attain to that fragrance called love, called god. God is another name for love.

Love is liberation. To live without love is to live in a bondage -- the bondage of the body, the bondage of the physical, the bondage of the gross. The seed is in a bondage; the fragrance is free, the fragrance is freedom.

This is your name: Ma Prem Ingrid. Prem means love. Ingrid means inner beauty.

A man without love remains ugly, inwardly ugly. He may have a beautiful body but that is only superficial. He will lack all inner poetry. He will not have any inner light which can radiate from his being and can reach to other people. He Will be like a corpse, a body without a soul.

It is love that releases your inner beauty. And when a person is inwardly beautiful, even if his body is not beautiful, he will be experienced as beautiful because he will pulsate with a certain kind of energy.

So love as much as you can. For love's sake love -- for no other motive. The moment a motive enters love disappears. Love can only be unmotivated. When you start desiring something out of it you destroy it.

Never desire anything out of love. Give as much as you can with no idea of getting anything back. Not that you will not get anything back, you may get a thousandfold, but that should not be your motive. That is besides... that is just a by-product.

And love not only man, don't make any barriers for your love. Love trees, rocks, animals, birds, clouds, stars. It does not matter what you love, what matters is that you love. So if you start living all that is available a revolution is bound to happen in your heart. Your heart will have a different beat, you will have a different kind of soul. You will start feeling fresh, young like a child again -- innocent, pure. And that's what sannyas is all about: releasing your capacity for love so that you can be beautiful.

This is your name: Ma Prem Claudia. Prem means love. Claudia means of humble heart.

Love is possible only in a humble heart. Love and ego cannot exist together. They are like light and darkness. If you bring light into the room the darkness disappears. Exactly the same happens with love.

Bring love in and the ego disappears; or, drop the ego and suddenly love rushes into your being from all directions.

And be humble heart, remember, I don't means something cultivated. One should not try to be humble.

If you try to be humble you will never be humble because the very effort brings its own ego: 'I am humble, I am the humblest.' But the I is hidden in it, the I is hidden in such a subtle way -- it has used humbleness as a facade.

Gurdjieff used to say to many people: You have a very beautiful facade. Humbleness is a beautiful facade, religiousness is a very beautiful facade. But these are all garments used by the ego, deceptions.

When I use the word 'humble' I don't mean something cultivated, practiced. If you understand the functioning of the ego and the ugliness of it and the misery of it..in that very understanding ego disappears.

And what is left behind is an uncultivated humbleness, raw, unpracticed humbleness, natural, spontaneous.

That is true humbleness. It is so natural that you cannot claim any credit for it. You cannot even say 'I am humble.' If you can say that, it is not true humbleness.

The humble person knows nothing of humbleness. He knows nothing of pride, he knows nothing of 1/08/07

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humbleness either. He is simply what he is, he is authentically natural. In that authenticity, in that naturalness love blooms, love grows. That is the right soil and the right climate for love to happen. And love is our target.

A sannyasin has to become like an arrow moving towards the target of love. (To Hans Werner)

This is your new name: Swami Pavitro. Pavitro means the pure one. But purity has no moral connotation. Purity to me means innocence.

A moral person is never pure. His purity is calculated, it is cunning, it is clever. His purity is motivated, he is trying to achieve something through it, it is businesslike. He wants heavenly pleasures, paradise and all that nonsense, through his purity. He is simply doing business. He is trying hard to be pure as the price one has to pay for heavenly pleasures. But his target is far away, beyond death. He is not satisfied with the pleasures available on the earth -- his greed is too much. And how can a greedy man be pure? His greed is so much that life seems to be not worth striving for. He wants something more permanent, more eternal, something that cannot be taken away from him. He is greedy, totally greedy.

My concept of purity is not that of a moral, religious man. My concept of purity is that of a small child who knows nothing, who lives out of a state of not- knowing. To live from that point is to live through wonder. It is to live through awe.

And when one has eyes full of wonder and awe one meets god everywhere. Then even mundane things are transformed into the sacred, then ordinary life becomes absolutely extraordinary. Then small joys of life are more than any paradise can promise. Then there is no need to hanker for any paradise. The innocent person lives in paradise wherever he lives. Wherever he is there is paradise.

(To Wil)

This is your new name: Ma Agamya. Agamya means incomprehensible.

Truth is incomprehensible. It can be felt through the heart but is cannot be known through the head. It is incomprehensible through logical processes, through thinking, though contemplation, but it is available to love.

Truth is a mystery and there is no way to de-mystify it. Agamya means the mysterious, the incomprehensible. It is incomprehensible but it is there, it surrounds you. This whole life is a mystery. It is just that we have become so

dead, so insensitive that we don't feel it.

My work here is to help you to become more sensitive, more alive, so that you can start feeling, seeing, listening. If you can listen deeply than the whole existence is full of music, if you can see deeply then the whole existence has such tremendous colors. If you can feel deeply then each rock has a god hidden in it.

But all that will not make you knowledgeable; it will make you wise, certainly, but not knowledgeable. You cannot say 'I know god.' You can only say ''I feel.' Those who say that they know are simply egoistic. The real mystics have said 'We feel.'

Feeling cannot be proved, there is no way to argue for it hence the Buddhas only show the way. They say 'This is how I have come to feel, you can also try.' Perhaps one day you may also feel it. But it remains a perhaps, it cannot be a logical certainty.

One of the greatest Buddhas of the world, Mahavira, used to start every sentence with the word

'perhaps'''. He would never make any statement without that word for the simple reason that it is so mysterious that nobody can say anything for certain. Certainly destroys its beauty and mystery, certainty makes it more mundane.

Science is certain, religion can only say perhaps. But the religious perhaps is far more valuable than all the certainly of science.

Science de-mystifies existence. That's why the more that science has grown and people have become educated through a scientific outlook, their lives have become very ordinary. There seems to be no surprise.

They seem to know all, nothing surprises them. And man is dead is nothing surprises him. A man is alive only in proportion to how much surprise he is capable of feeling. That decides his being alive, his aliveness.

So become alive again, become available again. Open all the doors and all the windows so that the wind and the rain and the sun can come and visit you. God comes in these ways. His ways are very subtle.

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Dance Til the Stars Come Down From the Rafters

Chapter #26

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